You took the cloud from the sky
Where else will it belong?

I heard that new homes
Are not easy to be found.

one day you are my best friend.
the next. you pretend i don't exist.
you played me.
just like you play your music. on and on.
i didn't realise it until you ran away.
you said "we just had to get something"
thats *******. it feels like more.
when we are alone. you are mine. we do everything together.
i sorted my life out for you.
in a different way. we are sisters.
we share a family. entwined. and yet.
when the moment strikes, you leave me. and pretend nothing happened. and thats what hits me the hardest.
the fact that you don't recognise the hurt, pain and agonising feeling in my stomach. it hits me like a knife. digging deeper into my soul.
and you don't know.
but. i keep coming back for more. and each time i do, the cut gets deeper. and deeper. i cry. kick. scream.
for you.
and i shouldn't but i do.
i can't believe that you did it without me.

I guess this is goodbye
because it was all a lie
when you see me around
don't bother saying hi
or any other kind of hello
because I'll ignore you
to avoid more pain
I should've realised
that you could see the disdain
smothered all over my face
but this is the end because I'm
tired of two worded conversations
and the feeling I get when I read
what you've written and just are
unable to delete. You still have feelings,
just not for me.

The path to a mind of insanity
can be seen as a gaping hole,
the one inside left hollow and empty.

Running from all signs of conformity
the truth is we are the ones who are full
of things only thought of as insanity.

Running from our own form of what we see
through the eyes which sit inside the skull
and wishing to be anything but empty.

“Don’t get caught up in the world’s vanity
or you will end up as nothing but cold”
are the words driving us towards insanity.

If the ones only filled with shallow glee
could understand our minds were carved from gold
and they will be the ones left aged and empty,

they would be forced to politely agree
upon the ones who have always been whole.
They are the jury and we plead insanity
while their minds and the prison cells stay empty.

Fear
Judged by irrationality
Hidden in accidental oversights
Feeding the dragon that leaks molten lava in salty streaks of regret
Fear
Empty wasted emotion
Saving ourselves from ourselves
Saving you from me
Worst case scenarios never included you punishing me at the sight of my weakness
Fear
You only love me beautiful
Love is a profound type of collective psychosis
Looks like strength but hides the truth
The truth that certainty is the truest delusion
Fear
On my best day, in the best possible scenario, I am still invisible
Open and still transparent
Full and still forgotten
Insightful and irrelevant my thoughts pour out unheard
Fear
In my demon's shadows lives the truth of my vulnerability
I am weak because I love you
I am a warrior because you love me
I am strong because I love you
I am a lamb because you love me
Fear
Spilling my unseen secrets
My evil self-talk, my mantra of honest lies
The purr of a kitten unsettles a soul beginning to believe it mattered
Pain dismissed in the peaceful snores of a tired moon
Fear
The sun shines in hope on the remnants of dream
On the nightmare of forgotten, overlooked, inconsequential truth
Empty apologies and the familiarity of beloved anguish
Herald the realization, that words don't matter
Truth or lies, faithless faithful, and a newfound silence
Fear
Invisible save for the ash lines that tell the tale
Of how I begged forgiveness for sharing my tormented and twisted mind
Only to be interrupted by the sounds of your peaceful slumber
Fear**
To be everything to your everything
and realize I am still........nothing at all