I miss you
I love you
I’m drunk
and I can’t think straight

My world is falling apart
Because I can’t stay sober without you

the sunrise was more golden than i'd ever seen it,
almost like the world was waking up.

we sat for hours,
sometimes in silence
sometimes laughing.

it didn't matter what we did,
we were escaping just long enough to see how
wonderous life is

and that's all that mattered

a willow tree,
unlike anything i'd ever seen before.
there were fairies in the branches,
and they would rest in the
nooks and crannies
on little beds of
leaves and flower petals.
the mountains behind my house were
sleeping giants,
their forests were riddled with
elves and spirits of the wood.
there is nothing more i need
than the sunflowers fields
and a story from the sleepy willow.

you cradled me and
loved me
until i felt safe enough to love you back

and then you let me go
and simply watched as i shattered on the ground

i was nothing but an experiment to you.

silly girl.
did you think they would
follow you?

stupid girl.
did you think they could
love you?

childish girl.
did you think you were
all grown up now?

broken girl.
there's no fixing you.

i like your smile.
actually,
i like pretty much
everything
about you.

i want to kiss
your freckles
and dimples
and run my fingers through your hair.

it's easy with you.
it's like breathing.

You’re the kind of person
they write
Stories
about.

I hope that makes me the villain.

you,
with your words dripping with honey.

you,
with your eyes like daggers and ice.

you,
with the way you make me want to
burn &
burn &
burn.

you
are the reason
demons &
angels
are so often confused.

I hate you more than I hate myself.

And that’s saying a lot.

your tears are a gurgling stream.
your fingers are twigs and sticks.
your heart is a root covered stone.

Prince of spring,
does life call to you
the way it shrinks from me?

or are you simply the beast
I think you are?

Do not give your name away.
It is the one thing you should
never
bargain.

There is a strange feeling
that follows you
into the forest and across streams.

Do not turn around.

Don't accept gifts from
beautiful people
who seem far lovelier than they really are.

At least,
not for free.

Don't say thank you.
It's as good as owing debt.
Say you appreciate the assistance,
but never thank directly.

Tread lightly in all things.
Wear bits of clothing
inside out.

Stuff salt in your pockets.

And if you here music flowing from
a nearby stream or ring of mushrooms,
do not dance to it.

You will not be able to stop.

I am standing at the edge of a cliff
ready to leap.
but I do not know whether I will
fly
or
f
  a
     l
       l

i still miss her.
on days where i blink
and behind closed lids,
i see everything
we never were
and all
we'll never be.

you wrote that in the back
of my too full journal.

i read it every day
and sob.

i've dreamt of you.

i prophecized a boy
with charcoal eyes
would allow me to taste
his poison lips.

what secrets are hidden
in your dark gaze?

whisper sweet nothings
and
c u r s e s
to me as if
lullabies
were made to cut.

love me.

**** me.

They say you are Icarus.
They say you flew
for a love so great and terrible
that it killed you.

They say you fell from heavens
into dark depthless oceans.

“For Love!” They say.
“He died falling in Love!”

But I think they’re wrong.
I think you burned.
Because of a lie;
a false promise of security.

I think you were dead
before you even hit the water.

They never found your body, did they?

What is it
to be
yet to not?

I dream.
I was not made to,
yet I do.
Such wonderous and
terrible dreams.

I see them,
the lost
and the hopeless.

The souls of the ******.

What is it like
to be born whole?

Dream of me.
Dream for me.

Dream,
        dream,
                dream.

I am not real.
Unless
I am.

everything you say
resonates with me like a
headache.

the pounding of your
words
against my porcelain skull
shoots fire and lightning
down my cracking spine.

my lungs are glass
and your name shattered them

and broke me.

each breath rattles.
each breath chokes.

what's the point of breathing
when there's no air?

Glass and soot rattle my lungs
in each quivering breath,
Bitter stone and thorns claw
at my shaking hands

As I drag my dying body
through hellfire

trying to save you
again

“You are just a girl.
How can you think this is love?”

“He is just a boy.
How can he know how to love you?”

“You are so young.
What makes you certain this is romance?”

Nothing.
Nothing makes me
think or
know or
certain
of anything.

Because
I am just a girl
and he is just a boy
and we are just kids,
lost together.

hopeful and
daydreaming and
fragile and
innocent.

You are my soul,
my love,
my life.

a queen of life was born
and taught not to rule,
but to drench her hands with blood
and callouses
and death.

how misleading it is
to find that
those who were made to save us,
are just as ****** as we are.

I am a girl made of ice.
It started in my heart,
blooming like a thousand roses,
a garden of freezing pain.

It burns like fire,
snow coating my tongue like ashes,
frost filling my lungs like smoke.

The devastating cold
cannot be thawed.
It long ago glazed over my eyes.

I now only see in shades of
blue and gray.

I am a girl made of ice.
Touch me and I'll shatter.

You love her.
And that’s fine,
really,
I’m happy for you.

But don’t you find it odd
that you talk about her
constantly,
But she never says anything about you.

Don’t you find it strange
her name drips from your mouth
but she doesn’t talk about your
Smile and laughter
Like you talk about hers.

You have fallen head over heals
For a girl that hasn’t even stopped for you.
That isn’t a relationship.

You deserve love.
But you can do better than her.

the life that thrums through this earth
and courses though your veins;
it is intoxicating.
i have stared into your soul
and found it very
empty and
cold and
i find it strange that you,
my lovely star,
my sun,
you are lonely.
you give your energy and your light
at no cost.
has anyone ever asked what you need
or what you want?
do you wonder why none have
ventured to see you up close?
they are afraid of your heat
and your raw beauty.
i would gladly sit and
burn
by your side,
my love.

tell me;
what's it like to hang from a string,
suspended in space,
and love beyond all boundaries?

i'm not being hurt
i'm not in any real pain

but i can't stop feeling this
hollowness

i think i'm broken or something.

And iron coating across my tongue
and a poisonous addiction

to all the pain you’ve caused me.

I have nowhere else to go,
and nothing left to loose.

(I should say myself
but I lost that many tears ago)

Your eyes are forests.
Still and quiet at first glance
but there is a
darkness
to them.
I am not afraid of your
whispering hollows and
eerie calls.

Your skin is a cliff side
etched with countless
stories and memories.
Smooth and rough and
scarred,
but that is the beauty of it.

Your mind is an ocean.
Delve into the
endless and unknown
with no fear.
I will not hold back my
curiosity
As you do not hold back your
crashing tides.

See;
I wish to tell you what I see
when I look at you.
But you cannot explain
all the wonders of this life in mere
Words.

Your soul is a part of earth.
It is made of
rose petals and
honey and
dirt and
stones and
you should know
how magnificent that is.

you are living.
breathe.

My jaw aches after I cry.

I thought it was a genetic thing.
But my mom made me realize I’m actually clenching it.

It’s weird how you hurt yourself without even noticing.

It took me a long time
(too long)
to realize

that my body is not owed to anyone

that love is something i shouldn't have to earn

that i don't need to apologize for my pain
and my past
and all the broken bits of me.

i owe nothing
to anyone
but,
perhaps,
myself.

It’s hard to feel whole
when you have spent your life
being a part of something

and all the sudden it’s gone.