Having a health "problem"
I can handle this
Try to keep working
Yes, I know I've been late a few times
So exhausted... fatigued...caffeine
or ***? Too tired lately...
many nights lacking somnus
used to be such a lovely escape
I stay late,
always get hours
and overtime
never forget to explain present circumstances...
not excuses...
Father told me
We must be dignified, stoic
Or try to be at least

No backup plan
or graceful exit strategy
not impossible if I need another job
to have smooth transition
no 9 months of vacation, sick leave...
no 401K advanced,
or generous severance
a little saved
I'm adaptable, capable
husband gone...meager
weekly contributions
resigned... thought crazy?
maybe I was...clinging to "principles"
not a tech analyst anymore...by choice
was I high?

apply for "rights"?
Yeah sure
FMLA...
Family Medical Leave Act
I know it well
Took time off this way before
when our child was ill
while I was working
at a HUGE health insurance company

5 years working here now
Nothing but Golden reviews
Great Bonuses
with Excellent pay
no vacation or sick time
I need to work every weekend and Holiday
required
and I gotta cover shifts
work off the clock sometimes
at night... and when called upon
At the owner's house
houses... I mean

Volunteering for big events
Exciting...HGTV...
rubbing elbows with Celebrities
Thinking that I would be part of this family forever...so naive still
Hoping I'd finally shine
Already Head Inn Supervisor
Do everything, know all the jobs
Hardly glamorous..
I'm proud of working at this High End Hospitality destination location

But Event Coordinator...
I am over qualified for both really
but too good at my job
I pulled staff to do a project...
She was AMAZED
He told me and no one's ever polished those beams
My heart sank and lept
Day-to-day functions
might be my new thing...

A quagmire to walk on
I'm sinking
dropped into a legal mare's nest

Shouldn't have said anything
about being "sick"...
We need to talk to you
Alright
30 days till Christmas
spent most of bonus
things could be worse

Disbelief, not connecting yet
Tears start coming
like a deluge of pent up sacrifices
time I lost
and such costly prices
all seem so unappreciated
Breathe

Why in the world did I spend
so much on a gift for them?
Just a written warning
Never before
I'm just afraid
No having that...
Take a pill or something

Collusion?
or coincidence?
New trainee...
though I'm not training her?
We are... very busy
They just want me to take a look
and make sure she's doing a good job though and pick out her mistakes
Don't forget to finish
writing those guidelines...
or getting Dr. signed off on those rights

new phone number
leave it with her on a piece of paper
reluctantly agreeing hand over that ink
feel instinctively she doesn't like me
we have disagreed before
says she let me know if the staff I called in doesn't show up to cover my shift
no one called
not even to ask where I was
quiet as an empty church mouse...

went into work on Monday
they thought I actually
didn't show up for work
good one, very funny
you never left us your number

On the piece of paper I left it with her
She denies it...
well could have predicted that
B*!!!
I find the crumpled, bloodstained, tear soaked evidence in the recycling
they grab the bin...out of my hands?
Seriously?
say that doesn't prove ANYTHING?
Now I'm just ****** the f off!!!

Second time called on carpet
Keep working
To hell with them
What was that he said?
Disappointed in my life choices?
Oh... I didn't want to sleep with him right.
Most reasonably attractive girls
that have worked there did
disappointed in me...because jealousy
  dating a younger guy
my family doesn't mind but he does?

Make sure I'm clocked in on time
and leave on schedule
2 more weeks till a rest
work Christmas Eve
then Christmas
you know other staff has
"more important" things
their children are younger
or something

another talk...oh, well a good one
I hope... being Christmas
Demoted?
What's that?
I don't think I understand?
One day a week?
Is this a f** joke!?!?
Oh....right because I wanted Medical leave..well,
I can put that off whatever.

No...that isn't why
No tears...
then...

So angry, fuming
as darkness is looming
yelling at the void of listeners
dignity? Stoic?
Sorry Dad...
as maniacal laughter...
those demon poet's
snicker at such an unpoetic ending

Done...
Convenient replacement, already trained
then go on a "vacation"
they own land in Holland
grow tulips...
still reaping Tulip mania benefits?
no "un"- employment,
wasn't fired
I guess I quit
since I never got another shift
though I apparently
was "scheduled" for a couple
maybe their phone was broken
I certainly was

I just was infuriated
and that guitar playing
Lil boy blue
bright eyed
peter pan
my younger boy wonder...
he was disappointed too
well thanks for the Charlie Brown tree
nice knowing you...
you beautiful burden
you haven't worked in how long?

I ripped down that twig that night
it was the ending and the beginning of EVERYTHING.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Oh...how I long to go home
where the crickets sing me
and the sweetgrass in Praries
smells freshly cut
barns weather on
and I feel the sun upon my skin
and autumn crisp apple air...
leaves me drunken
crystalline formations dance on the windows in a deeply frozen nest
and long burning logs rage
as patterned snowflakes dance outside
a fire of comfortable blanketed walls burns as
spring birds call me back

where faded country music plays
a sad and aesthetically pleasing tune
the smells of generations cooking
I am invited in ...
to dream
dancing on Daddy's boots
in the living room

I dream of a love-strong home
where you can be high and deep
tough and sinewy like the thread
holding us together
weaved by my Native American Grandmother

So sweet and energizing
a place of refuge from waning storms
Where I can be
the person
that I promised myself I could be

as I cook a gourmet meal
from fresh and simple ingredients
I use my senses to taste in my mind
then with my mouth
creating masterpieces
with a magical gift , handed down
of composition
sipping a glass of perfectly chosen wine
and palate cleansing fresh sorbet
a calm, appreciative natural high

Oh, how I adore the tender
domestic bliss
feeding roots
cherishing moments
lavishly on tight purse strings
making MAGIC in hearts
and in my kitchen
poetic recipes for life...
bread from necessity
inked in a passed down book called
....HOME.

I thought I knew afraid
Going to spring break
with some friends
we never met up
there was this guy
offered me a ride?
and took it
foolish girl...
or they abducted me
that makes more sense...

though maybe ignoring that voice
even though its usually right
I wasn't supposed to be here
My family thinks I'm somewhere else

I'm Seventeen...you know
A soccer queen
from Rochester N.Y.
blonde cutie they say
child-like I hear
I hear we had ***
This guy & I?

Then I was...
offered to his friends
offering me drinks and drugs
No...no...
I try to run
My Instincts
my feet running
my breathing quickened
like a deer
look behind
Here he comes!
Not time to die
I don't remember
Till the gun hit me so hard
I thought I had
I couldn't cry
Or breathe...
I prayed...
for anyone
anything to come
I wasn't saved

Pistol whipped
Gang rapped
Visceral,
animals
******* out my soul
bruises
bleeding
broken
I can't feel anything
my eyes are wide shut

Why?
What's wrong with them?
Why... do they hate me?

Human trafficking they said
No...no....no
I'm "Missing"
Gotta ditch da *****!
no...no.....no....no....No!!!!

It's so dark
I am so tiny
Didn't stand a chance
So alone
back home
Miss them already....Momma, Daddy...
my friends
Don't cry ....please!
Eerily quiet
Endless Silence
After the 2 loudest shots I've ever heard

Wrapped in plastic?
Dragged out to the Alligator pits
Gone girl
No more boyfriends
or holding hands
Never having Daddy's children
or getting married
I dreamed of
becoming famous
but not only as a ghost
my big ideas
playing soccer
I already miss it all....
I'm late for dinner

I'm speaking to the jailhouse snitches
To the ones involved
Never gonna rest
till I have my day in court
haunt them till the day they die
or drive them MAD
so even if they never find my bones
I know I'm not alone
we must keep looking for Justice
not just the poetic kind
someone out there knows ....
everything.

"In matters of Truth and justice
There's no difference between the large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people
are all the same" - Albert Einstein


"There's no bar to a prosecutor pursuing a homicide without a body"

"Problems in the modern era where the body itself is the best evidence"


Cherie Nolan © 2016

I love those appealin' eyes
you know ya can't disguise
your dimpled, stoppin' perfect smile
Never gonna go outta style
see you in a little while?
my sweet poet....

I love that I could love you
not saying that I do
cannot tell by the words I bleed
or feel the need
inside this stupid heart?
Sometimes we gotta let go
in order to grow
ya know
it's true
so...
what about me ....
and you?

I knew that smile
was going to nail me down
turn me right back around
I read my crystal ball
knowing what to whisper in your ear
told me whatcha  wanna hear
Exactly what to say
exactly what to do
exactly how...
to love you

maybe you still miss her  
as I'm penning you verses
an liftin' her curses
line by line....I'm readin' your mind
you want her sometimes
I'm bleeding out these rhymes
c'mon it'd be a crime

let's go down to the swimmin' hole
maybe a lil' cold
bare feet on the dashboard
wine bottle on the floorboard
cause' were all gettin' older
we might need a shoulder
to stay when the rains comin'  down

I'll stick around...
I'm all hometown
what else can I say darlin'
to make you wanna leep
I promises to keep you
forever...
if only you'd say yes
I'd love you
If I could
I told you
I'd
confess.....

I'll write you a poem
sing you a tune
you'll hang on my words
while I,
on the moon

Tell me a story
I'll bleed words for you
indigo ink,
a dark streaking blue

I uncouple the pin
to a fast moving train
release all your sin
and unending pain

I love you tonight
and more so tomorrow
  I'm taking you there
with time that I borrow

My love is bewitching
  I'm casting a spell
the way to your heart
  though I'll never tell

You know I'm said gypsy
  a magical power
leaving you drunken
& wild like flowers

Waiting to seal this
with one planted kiss
Not really foreboding
  but more than a wish

As I think about you
I'm drawing you near
Here to my safe place
  come soon my dear

Though some say a witch
  I'm really quite sweet
you'll feel like your rich
   'neath these linen sheets

I'm laying my heart
upon my duvet
& hanging on every
word that you say

I keep on courting
the date that I plan
on walking with you &
...embracing your hand.

Cherie Nolan *© 2016

"I,
vigilant and amused
follow the elusive
ever-shifting
sweet spot"

Cherie Nolan © 2016

You were the boy next door
literally and figuratively
I loved you from the moment I saw you
Beautiful golden wavy hair
cut short but ****
soft eyes of a deer...
such a warm buttery brown

I used to fantasize about this feeling
though didn't know if
how, when, where...why
I was innocent as a newborn lamb
you seemed to only like me
or as if you only wanted ***

I was projecting or protecting
I am not certain
But the soft tender sensuous first kisses
I still can taste in my mouth
like sticky sweet caramel
every time I run my tongue over my lips
I remember....
I loved that mouth... and everything attached to it.

Our song was "Hello" by Lionel Richie
And you never knew
I thought of you constantly
after the kiss...for a long time
I waited

So I never thought you were coming back
Graduation came and with a determination
to undo the innocence
craving to know what everyone else already did
The night of baccalaureate
lyrical voices
"strawberry wine
seventeen...
hot July moon
saw everythin'
taste of love
Ahhhh bittersweet
like strawberry wine"
innocently
playing out for real
the most handsome guy there
Said he was 24
asked for a kiss... drunken silly, flirty girl
"Maybe... if I can get a burger first?"
he delivered so we kissed
though he was a gentleman that night
I made a date with destiny

Still remember
I wore a short denim skirt the front like button pants Confederates wear
so kissed warmly by the sun...tanned Native, naive skin...
a lacy white cotten tank top and these terrific kicks...black leather biker boots, square toed...kick ***
curly black long hair... hazel eyes
some say they can see green and gold in there...or something mysterious
Though I don't think I'm much of a mystery
I wore a little mascara... a bit of summertime blush and lip gloss
When I stepped out I got a "Wow"... so beautiful...**** girl"
I used to hear that sometimes but never felt that way... often times it made me uncomfortable
But I smiled and took his hand and trusted him
It was a barn dance so much fun
but I don't remember the ending so well
kind of fuzzy
I guess I drank too much
I do...I do...I do remember his touch
a strange smile just cursed my lips

So that summer I was with him
His father was a ***** pervert, an animal
and I couldn't stand to be around him
I remember jumping in the pool and it's ***** paws trying to touch me
If I told my Father
he would have killed him!
I remember he comforted me though
he did defend me that day
His mother was just such a horrible *****
I'm sure maybe because of his Father...
Brutally honest.. I suppose she told me I was just a plaything
I didn't believe her

Still don't... honestly
He used to like me to sing to him
In the back of his truck where we made a makeshift bed and we'd lie down looking at the stars....
and he left some pretty deep scars
But I remember...focus on the delightful, appealing  things too
like going to the lake and the engine died we had to paddle our way back
and there were bats overhead swooping and diving
He shrieked like a girl and I laughed...
we both did

As it turns out
He was seeing an older woman... I don't know how long
He was really 28 and so was she
Apparently they work together
To spare you the details I ran over his mailbox when I left and I never looked behind me...

I came back
your best friend
was dating my best friend
and you asked if I would go to the beach with you did you really think
I was going to say no?
I climbed in the car there you are
in the backseat
our eyes met like the day of the first kiss
I can still picture it now actually
you took my hand and you pulled me in
I laid my head on your lap...
Looking up in your eyes so happy to be home
we kissed again
finally...

I told you the story of how I'd been hurt
It did matter how much you'd flirt
or caress my hair, touch that spot...rub my neck... lift up my locks...and kiss me there, making yummy sounds...deep and seductive..
making yummy memories...

I was determined not to be hurt that way again
so you courted me for 9 months
And then you asked me to marry you...
So it was never all about ***...
although I know you thought I was **** and beautiful...your curvy hippie girl...and you knew that I thought you were beautiful too...my handsome shadowed face...baseball cap and sneakers, sorta tight fittin blue corduroy  pants  that just looked perfect ... maybe it was the back pockets and a nice white pin striped blue shirt with fold down collars
your laugh, the games of basketball, horseshoes, Frisbee... swimming
food... eating together was like food ***
we so enjoyed the connecting
the sharing...the tastes and flavors
you loved my cooking...thank you

I remember the convertible Mustang
our boat the four wheelers
we had everything and a four-bedroom cape... nice cars..
worked hard....nice things
we did lots of things together
we endured some terrific pain
nearly watching our daughter die
and watching your mother actually go
and your friend... snowmobiling will never be the same again Joey Laquerre... a local racing Legend gone
Irony? I don't know
his son dies at 17 in 2014 an ATV accident...

So many secrets so many skeletons we share in our closet
I miss that safe place and I know you do too
If everyone really knew ...everything..
well...it's such an epic love story
you told our daughter
And our son... how wonderful it all was
Reminisce with them a little too much even
I asked you why
you said you didn't know
and I guess you still don't
you're still with her
the one you left me for... you know
And the guy from baccalaureate he's still with her too
if I was so wonderful
then why did you have to go?

Happy Anniversary to the death of a marriage... 13 years

Cherie Nolan© 2016

I feel the wanting
as you are haunting...
my lustful, needy...
greedy..
thoughts

I know I really hadn't ought
to think this way
of things to do when down we lay
and about your warm & rugged arms
keeping me from any harm

I'm swallowed by seductive charms
defenseless you're
whispering the sky my name
know of me ...my secret shame
this need...we share?

words said kerning
we're bothered,
....yearning
I  am bare
for you..
I feel a need to share with you
could we face
  our darkness together?

on gloomy tides of stormy weather
is written on the Dead Sea Scrolls
a love of two who seem the same,
shared in us our
heart and souls?
I have wandered far looking...

So should we
take a chance and try
instead of always wondering why?
would we
be any good for one another
a raging fire burning
unwanted things unlearning
Could we
find of pure desire
light the lovers hottest fires?

or flames go out we tamper,
smother?
left smoldering
shouldering our way,
and left...
we never learned
ready to rise
and ready to
.....be BURNED?

Cherie Nolan © 2016

"You my heart does swoon
like the coming Double Moon"


Cherie Nolan © 2016

Mars and the Moon
Won't see again real soon
aligned together
can be seen tonight
known as the double moon will not be seen again for another 271 years...

She don't like her eggs all runny
she thinks crossin' her legs is funny
she looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter bunny
she's my baby
I'm her honey
Never Gonna Let Her Go

He ain't got laid in a
Month of Sundays
I caught him once
and he was sniffin' my ******
he ain't too sharp but he gets things done drinks beer like it's oxygen
and he's my baby
I'm his honey
Never gonna let him go

In Spite of Ourselves
we'll end up sitting on a rainbow
Against All Odds
honey were the big door prize
We're going to spite our noses
right off of our faces
there won't be nothin'
but a big ol'  Hearts
dancin' in our eyes

she thinks all my jokes are corny
convict movies make her *****
she likes ketchup with her scrambled eggs swears like a sailor when
she shaves her legs
she takes a lickin'
she keeps on tickin'
I'm never going to let her go

He's got more ***** than
A Big Brass Monkey
he's a whacked-out ******
and a love bug ******
Sly as a fox
crazy as a loon
when payday comes
he's howlin' at the moon
he is my baby
and I don't mean maybe
I'm never going to let him go

In Spite of Ourselves
we'll end up sittin' on a rainbow
Against All Odds
honey were the big door prize
we're going to spite our noses
right off of our faces
there won't be nothing
but big ol' Hearts
dancin' in our eyes

In Spite of Ourselves

Written by John Prime
Cherie Nolan- A favorite wedding tune

Who are these people?
Why aren't you listening to me?
Can you not see...what I can see?
I think that my soul wants to jump out of my body it is vibrating and I am shaking...
I am breaking
I try and sleep and only know these waking
hours...
Do you have the powers around here?
Where are you taking
me???

No, I don't want to be
No, I do not want to die
No, I've never ever actually tried...
yes, I wish I wouldn't cry
these up and down tears of utter panick, agony and distress  
Alright already I confess!
I'm probably just like the rest
I don't know... is this..
a test?
You....
tell ME?

I can't eat
or care for myself...
I feel nauseous
my stomach hurts really bad
yes I am, I am kinda sad
Occasionally I find happy
or laugh at something sappy
man that dog is yappy!
What is HE yelling at?
and why is SHE saying that?
did someone just barely call ME fat?

I don't trust that person over there
she has bugs in her hair
that girl...right there!
....that guy said so!
and HE should know...
and I don't like the way that one looks
at me...
He...
...is creepy... said I'm beautiful
bunch of weirdos and addicted crooks
no I don't want to read a stupid book!
or go to a class?!
For what?

I don't understand why I'm here
I'm afraid I'll never leave
You need to believe
I cannot understand I feel like I'm in Hell
That is not a place I'd ever want to dwell
I know I did NOT sell...
my soul!

Well then, what's your goal while your here?
Tell us what's the greatest fears?
Something whisper in your ears?
What do want your life to look like?
Don't look so worried
It's alright... take all the time you need
we'll feed you in the meantime
I can see...sweetpea...
your clearly confused and you look
like you took awhile to get here
you seem exhausted... so try and get some sleep

Oh..falling into the deep!
Oh I don't know
those picture shows
can be so frightening
the snapping, cracking deadly lightning and strange
gutteral things and horrible loud flapping, rapping blackened wings!
the Raven he came thrice
along with the 3 blinded mice
and other ones were not so nice..
...either

Yes...but still some are still exciting?
Even if still a little frightening?
Like dreams of forgotten or forbidden love
and singing Angel's from up above?
memories of your first sweet kisses
some so nice...and a few near misses
the boy that you sent for
on your hand blown wishes?
How he loved to watch you dance
in his eyes he stared at you entranced
your souls were one so intermingled
touching him it made you tingle...
and you loved how beautifully familiar
he was...
Remember that?

Yes I suppose..that you are right
time to rest here for the night
thank you for this dreaming land
when I wake up...you know...
I've planned
on doing everything better!

Okay, goodnight my darling
close your peeping..
sleeping eyes
No more tears for those to cry
Rest your overwhelming fears
get sweet dreams, my precious dear
I'll see you in the morning

I'm just warning...
No more walking dead
that's the only thing I still dread
I guess enough about that I've said...
Change will be here soon...I know.

Goodnight...
I'll see you in the morning light
when all my hopeful dreams
again...
...take their final ...
               winged flight.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

My Father: I Never Promised You a Rose Garden!
My Mother: Well I Never expected a thorn bush either!

I always thought it was quite funny
I remember this on sunny days
when my parents were driving my Father would ask my Mother if anything was coming from the other direction and he'd say:
"Is it okay George?
And my mother would say:
"Okay, Hit it Henry!!!"...I still have no real idea why...I remember and I sigh...
as a twinge of sadness comes sneaking in.

There were certain people that my Father did not care for and he would say they were snobs ..."****** intellectuals"... as a child I got confused by that but now it makes perfect sense....it was said without pretense.
I had to figure it out.

Without a doubt...
I have many fond memories of my family...especially my Dad, who really sacrificed more than anyone I've ever known
who sowed every seed he'd ever sewn
Raised 4 kids till they were grown
all the fading memories that I blindly used to perceive as bad...
have now melted into the Beautiful
They are now the things that endear me to them... as I remember...they make me smile for a little while.

My Father has passed now some five years... was born a simple man of simple means...
times for him or more than just a little lean
Shoes three sizes way to big
stuffed toes with old newspapers
a dresser drawer....fashioned Sisters crib
He was a Phoenix rising from those ashes
And he was never out of fashion...
a Master Carpenter... a builder of my dreams...
raising beams
dressed in denim bib overalls and a white T-shirt...a red, white and black bandana in his pocket to wipe his sweating brow

And now....ever since the day he died
I have tried...but my Mother and I now have this distant love
so I know he's still guiding me, and us from far above
I never would have made it this far
way too many scars...
It's a strange feeling to feel so very alone
feel like I have no real home
in the world...
I am a caretaker of an apartment....

I feel he would have done
anything for me  
he would never let me see...
such awful things
and be
down in such lonesome places
with strangers, such unfamilar faces
Or so I used to think

I've been at the very brink
Now I understand he wanted me to know
to struggle for my life and so I would grow
as even a thornbush would...
It taught me to be humble even when I couldn't walk
to listen and not to talk
even though I have my children, my progeny...
If sometimes I still can feel so very alone...
so no matter where my Gypsy heart roams
I carry those memories with me they are my church in the day...and in the night
I remember his final words
and I know.... it'll be alright
He taught me how to fight
and I am fighting beside him now...

I am carrying out his final wishes
I cook them in my famous dishes
My Father absolutely enjoyed the sharing of food...
Always was in the mood for something delicious...
So I sprinkle
them with his way
the things he'd often say
with his stoic compassion,
an understanding heart, so kind
I try to share his brilliant mind...
I am thankful that he wanted me and made certain I was here
His memory to me so dear...
with him I have no fear
Thank you Father
Thank you Daddy...
Love you Ma Cherie....

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I have angered The Poetry God!

Who?

The one who decided if my diction is any good, if it has the proper flow...
rhyming, timing ...I don't know!
I'm really having a hard time figuring out what he wants
It's not like there's a syllabus
telling us girls what to do
I love him and he should love me back  too...right?
Unconditionally...of course.

All the while...I am deeply tapping these aging poetic veins
racking my sometimes scrambled poetic brain
releasing unbridled passions, truth the agony....yes
...  unending PAIN!"
all the while pretending
to be just the slightest bit sane!
What does that even mean?

I'm exasperated!
and yes....
I'm sure he'll say
It's all because of my
"Dysfunctional Behavior" isn't it?
I can't seem to get out of my own way?
wait....
what's so great about him again?

There's not much else
I can tell you my friend
other than
that *****
for him....
you might be a "missed fit" to him
but he's the one missing out
on you being AWESOME!!!"

"Emmmm hmmmm you know it girl"

Cherie Nolan© 2016

Dear sweet poet
can you write me into your story?
Take me out for coffee
I'll tell you some interesting plot twists
and turns
details ...
about a burning need
I didn't heed
the warning signs
I am here anyway

I'd like to find an alternate ending
I'd take a love story
one of honor and glory
Sweet poet..
my handsome young man
Take my outstretched, wanting
waiting.... hand

Take me out for coffee
Write me into your romantic story
I promise you won't be sorry
let's go
while we're still young
and while the sun
is shining on the silhouette on my bedroom wall
while time is still kind
and it is smiling on my face.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Let me tell you who I am
I'm an American Born girl
Proud to be here
I wouldn't want to live anywhere else
I've enjoyed my freedom...still do, and you?

Used to love running through the Barns and playing in the hay
I wear a dog-eared well worn baseball cap
most days
Some kind of faded ol' denim jeans and a fun
t-shirt...
and if it isn't ***** I might even wear it to bed...
I use homemade oatmeal and lavender soap, a little pink shiny lipgloss, maybe espresso mascara...dark red chipped painted toenails in flip-flops or work boots
hair in hat...keys in hand
all kinds of weather, I'm prepared

Yes I've hunted for deer!
Skinned and gutted one for a high school paper...
quite a caper..

I can change my own oil  
or a dang flat tire
break into my Volvo with a piece of wire?
Did I say that?!
And...I can drive just about anything
including...so true,  backing up a trailer into a boat launch

Oh ..my redneck side?
Come on let's go for a ride...
I've ridden on four-wheelers and snowmobiles
out in the glorious midnight
freezing breath is close to heaven on those mountains

Spent summers at the camp
on the lake
Swimmin'
cookin'
swingin'  and singin'
off from the the bank
crystal clear blue waters run deep
flyin' from a rope
holdin' on to serious hope
not to be pushin' daises
we were a bunch of crazies !

Raisin' kids...
Some people think I'm a hippie chick
and that's true too
I eat mostly organic food
I love to cook my hopes and wishes
in amazing dishes...
and sharing that with good people

I like interior design
I drink a bit of wine
And I LOVE dessert...
We are just like a
Strawberry & Blueberry Shortcake
Fresh fluffy white whipped cream
and berries
Homemade biscuits...
like a flag waving

I love road trips...
    getting high
... watching the world go by....
it's so wonderful I could cry
and I went so fast on that crotch-rocket
of a motorcycle
I thought I could even fly!

Why I love every kind of music
hard to stop me from dancing
and prancing through life
singing...poetic songs.

I am probably one of the most genuine
and honest people you'll ever know
come along I'll show you...
I hope to be like the Salt of the Earth
like my Father...
He valued this place
and I have some of his face

It's not that I can't avert the truth...
I can
I'm just not capable of lying...
not being truly dishonest
I mean if you ask me something
straight out ...
look me right in my eyes
I would have to tell you honestly
that I feel this overwhelming love for everyone and everything...

You know that it troubles me
going to a landfill and seeing all the waste
left in carless choices and hurried haste
hello, the Ice Caps people!!!
Those poor Polar Bears...

I swear...
I've resorted to trash collecting
in my town
All that is going to be buried in the Earth!!!
What the heck was it even worth?
I recycle or compost almost
everything!

Well it makes me sick...
time is ticking....
now is definitely the time

People are dying....
why am I crying?
...over my broken heart?
No, I can't
because the more horrible events
and floods of  information I see
word *****
on the internet or the news
different views
as NPR is bleeding through the radio
about how bad this world has become ....

And so many people with it so much worse...
So...I have this curse anyway,
wanting change...
trying to create it,
just makes me wish
I could go somewhere else...
run away?
no.... I stay

I fight
do what is right
this is my land, your land...OUR land
take a frickin' stand
to fix this country!

We need real effort...
a movement
and I would like to do anything
to make it spread...
before I'm dead...
so...
what can I do? And you?

Some people say you can move mountains...help please?
The people like me...you see
they always say I'm a beautiful mess
those Sensitive Souls
we get wounded really easy
and I get kind of queasy
though I've learned to have a thick skin,
every time they take me down
I come back around again
it is still harder for me to come back up
time is always short...

My face is bearing more freckles
these days
and the suns rays see my hands
a bit more weathered
though I'm still tethered to you
I still feel young...
have to tap into that,
Put on my baseball cap
n-play...
carryin' a big stick walking softly

So my body does not feel old...
even when it is...very cold
I fight for my kids, and your family too
I look to the blue
the sky
tenderly asking why?
I can see the heavens
They are consoling my heart
I've been to the very...
very bottom
And I always got a new start
don't give up...
we still have work to do...
yes me ...
and you too

Hey, I still believe in fairy tales
and miracles
In shooting stars
healing scars
The butterflies in your stomach
on that very first kiss...
sent out on a wish

I still believe in love
and angels from above....
I have Faith
This world...the Earth can heal
I feel my heart,
well it will heal right too
I can feel
it ...so can't you?
Tell me then ...what I can do?

Don't know how many times
a heart can break
 but I will help you heal
so....do we got a deal?
cause this thing,  well it's for real

...just take my hand..
maybe if we plan
to take a stand
say our demands?
as one...they'll listen?

 We can do it together
regardless of the weather
jump in your truck
and my beliefs might be
different than yours
I might be much farther to the left
than you are
we all want the same things
to be happy and free
To be
Whoever we are
I'm still waiting for all these answers
and I hope I will still find my soul's mate too...tell me? What else can I do?

I'm not the one
not the one you were waiting for
not the one of your dreams
as real as those  might seem
Not the one of your fantasies
this is more....
your reality

I am not the one that got away
or her, you know the one  you saw just the other day
Baby...
I am not an amalgam of the worst or the best
of the ladies and ******
you put through your tests
I have confessed
my sin is wanting...
needing
you

you can trust
I am much more than mere lust
I am more than this flesh
way more than skin deep
Not something you can keep
I will seep your veins
invade your brain
In your mind
I am not the one
not yet...anyway

and hey I gotta say
I'm not your Mother
not the one your Mother
warned you about either
not the girl next door
I am exactly what you've been waiting for

Open your mind
instead you seem to find
my age isn't right
I'm not the ideal height
or your ideal anything
although you still like these curves
when they move and swerve
you said you like my mouth
after only just a nice slow wet kiss
Imagine even more
all you have to do is wish
I am here darling...my nice full lips
and curvy hips and massaging oiled fingertips

I am a perfect ghost
haunting, wanting you as my host
your heart
to explore you
is my goal
eat you up and swallow you whole
to keep you as if your mine
nights when we are intertwined
if only for a little while
I love your quirky quiet little smile
we can do it hippie-redneck style
I'll take what I can get of this beautiful memory
that releases me to ecstasy
in whatever form it is

are you afraid to touch me again
that I'll show up at your door
That maybe I'm much more
than just your good ol' friend?
except you already know
I am everything
I am the craving
The ache
your mistake
the best one yet
the desire
we are on fire
emmmm....a ****** attraction
creating a chemical reaction
hunger...a yearning
alone I'm turning
my bed it is burning
thanks to you

Although..you know
it's true...
I am not worried
I am sure you'll be calling on me again....
real soon
my lover and my very, very.... special bright eyed friend.

Cherie Nolan© 2016

Fading off
into the soft
of the Tangerine Setting Sun
I slipped away
to rest my gun
my battle here
well it is done.

I gotta say
hey girl
you know I love you
so I'll never be lonely
as you are the stars to me
a deep and beautiful mystery
I share you in our history
you are the light I see
the one that I am following.

I am here my dearest...dear,
so do not show them any fear
as I am watching you
as you are consoling the darkened midnight sky
please stop questioning, wondering why
as you look up for a shooting passerby
dry those endless tears
in  puddles of sad
I am glad so
I'll just sigh
as this is not goodbye
just farewell my sweetheart

You'll never be alone
my heart it is your home
so take my hand
your life is going to be so grand
I've already planned my love
from up here so very far above
on seeing you again one day
amongst the
showy pink lady slippers we will lay
you will see my eyes of clear blue
and soft grey again.

So you must stay...
go and play
while there's light that shines today

Take up my fishing pole
go back to our favorite swimming hole
I showed you my graceful,
& patient flicking wrists
I gave it one last careful twist
and the fly will softly land and kiss...
the water

There's no maybe
my baby
my crazy
curvy Wildflower girl
as I watch you twirl
as I watch you in the setting Sun
you come undone
in the morning dawn
your tired, sweet and sleepy yawn
as you feel the breeze blow through
your uncombed tangled hair
please take a dare to share
in your beautiful perfection
I know you'll find the direction
live today for me
live today with me.

I can see you
as I stand here at a waiting Heavenly door
in waters clean from Angels shores
you'll know me again
as you did before
you'll know my love
and so much more
I sigh again as the sun is here
as I too am drawing near
..time for me to go so,
make use of today
For you and them, I pray

I am
always
waiting
patiently
forever
and always
with you
...for you.  XO

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I dig
you dig
we dig
he dig
she dig
they dig

Not a very beautiful poem
but it's very deep

Unknown author...

As the snow flies
on a cold and grey Chicago mornin'
A poor little child is born
In the ghetto
(in the ghetto)

And his mama cries
'cause if there's one thing
that she doesn't need
Is another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto
(in the ghetto)

People, don't you understand
the child  needs a helping hand?
Or he'll grow up to be an Angry Young Man someday...

Take a look at you and me
are we too blind to see?
Do we simply turn our heads,
and look the other way?

Well, the World Turns
and hungry little boy with a runny nose
Plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto
(in the ghetto)

As his hunger Burns
So he starts the roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal
and he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
he buys a gun, steals a car
he tries to run
but he don't get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers 'round
an Angry Young Man
face down in the street
with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto
(in the ghetto)

As her young man dies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
Another little baby child is born
In the ghetto...
( in the ghetto )

His mama cries
in the ghetto


Elvis Presley....was to me a very beautiful poetic sad soul, wanting to shake the world up....gone too soon doing things he did not want too in the end. XO

Cherie Nolan

Herein lies the Crux
my state of constant flux
on the Critical Path
someone is messing with me
they said
soon be wishing
they were dead
fill me?
with fear and dread?
that's a TALL order...
I got an ink filled
voice recorder

I've been at this
intersection before
thought I'd closed the
opened door
once more
I'll find the key
digging, dragging waters
in the sea
who me?
you...
can't hold a good
woman down

refuses to be drown
not in tears
after all of these years
I'll tear out your eyes
then we'll see who cries

....you lie
and you manipulate
spread your seething,
bitter hate
my fate
is indifferent

Herein lies the problem
I will find the fix
somewhere in betwixt
reality and my dreams
I know you know it's wrong
singing the song
I want to hear

to close to my ear
you challenge my sanity
and I your vanity
I see you have sorrow
you can't borrow
stolen nickles &
dimes
crimes you know

you'll sow
what you reep
cost is steep
herein lies the crux
the state of constant flux
consequences come
from our choices
& honest... truthful voices
here me cry
why
....oh Why?

Cherie Nolan© 2016

I'm getting ready
for a Poetic War
all this time
been keeping Score
building a Poetic Army
is a good idea

though we are the Elite
our seat
is with
the Highest Command
in the World
comprised of Genius Ninja's
cloaked in love
sent from above
teaching Mindfulness
praying hands

prepare your Sandbags
the ones under your eyes
are nothing
compared
to the sleep
in counting sheep
you made me lose
and choose
a side

I pick me
you see
like Joan of Arc
I have a mission
to see to the end
my Unpoetic Friend
and Foe

Slay
with what I say
my words
you do not stand
a chance
regardless
of your dance
I am coming
in my anger
in this
I am ******
into Justice
my pen
unsheathed
for battle
my ink...is what I trust.


Cherie Nolan © 2016

Melancholy days
move in between
the leaves as
they blow
in the breeze

tiny snapping
birds are rapping
scurrying to prepare
before Winter
comes

All
too
soon
ablaze
Melancholy
Days in
the hot
summer haze
will crystalize
frozen treats

retreating
to become icicles
& snowflakes
patterned on the
Windows
to my Soul
I make an
OutlineD Heart
start with my quickened
breath and your name
without your Love
I am not the same
no shame...

It's a
Bittersweet
& Melancholy
tune I'm strumming
wearing your favorite
Bedtime Shirt
I flirt alone
awaiting such
a wonderful
Natural Disaster.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Fan whirring
shirt shifting
cat purring
soul lifting

Guitar strumming
figs and cheese
night coming
more
....... please

I am clueless....
writing poetry?

Cherie Nolan © 2016

"I'm NOT going to tell you
this is NOT
JUST a test
like I tell ALL the rest

that it's ONLY
a test?
C'mon
you should know better"

I'm noticing this guy has a lot of ink
all over
and the darkest kind

"So it's NOT
Not an ordinary exam?
this ain't basketball tryouts?"
I ask...
"I just took a walk in the park
had a...
white
****** knuckle sandwich
I played pinochle
with the Old Man
rode in bear backed
like Lady Godiva...."

I heard
words &
Maniacal laughter
played by symphony  of demons
& smirking
violinists in the background

"I'll tell you it
is
in
FACT
a
TEST
****
a super difficult one..."
then

".....continue reading my contract...."

reading and absorbing
unfathomable amounts of learning
and yearning
with
excellent Earning Potential
requires a decent,
above average
genius IQ
i don't need anything
other than...
to
leave my heart behind
and any other angels
my set of wings
saved aside
this is just a ride
I tell myself
they cast him out you know
fallen Angel
and....no other Gods, Mommy, Daddy, deities....xcetera.

"logically it's been there all along
everyone hears me
not like you can IGNORE my voice
you've seen my ad...."

(a bony finger with a long sharp nail
points upward)...

"up there
you know where...
on the billboard in Times Square
i am 100% certain it was you"

and it is
here I am.
Okay, I'm in control...breathe
take a sip of moonshine first
shhhhh...
listen
a little chuckle

Lucifer continues....

"You can bring Conscience along
she has been cleared.. "
Loudspeaker coming on
"We repeat
this is NOT a Strong Storm warning
there won't be any arms waving
no lights like at the airport
telling you where to land
no hands outside the vehicle
or for holding"

A pause,
finally...in closing
he looks my way...saying

"You'll stop at the Crossroads
lose the shirt
see a
blinking Amber Alert
don't stop at the bar
no flirting....

look back
actually there's a poetic flood
it's coming
that 'deluge' of your
bloodstained Indigo ink"
filled paper
boats are
floating &
he is gloating
"you might refer to the Ark section
of your Manual
before it's time to go...."

I gather important
necessary documents
for example making sure my will is signed
on the dotted line
***** donor checked off
blood type
leaving all others behind
no certainty of any kind
may not return
from an
Unknown Destination
things tend to get worse
  before they get better
  grab a sweater
a bumpy ride
my friend
dragging those
    sharpened ink filled
       fingertips
       down a chalkboard...
       I  buckle up
   transportation provided
nausea subsided
here I go
down below
  "I thought
     I would
     always have to
      take you
       kicking......
        & screaming
        still saying the
        Lord's Prayer
        signed, sealed
          & delivered."
         I smile...
         nod ...
          I say
         "Yut...
           guess so"
            time to go
           getting up
            from a chair...
             & I swear
              I am
              walking
               out
                no
                room
                for
 ­                any
                 doubt.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Went for a ride
and out
down to St. Ambrose Church
For free community dinner
Barbecue
and make your own sundaes
Little girls
with pigtails eating watermelon
Magic
was the after-dinner entertainment
Made some extra *****
appear in your hands
read from the Flaming book
Have the Steel Police
check rings
magically
Made me laugh
from my belly
Nobody had eyes on us

Just good times
I don't think I've ever seen
a child laugh so hard or look so amazed
Thank you
Was a delicious evening
with friends
on a ride
through South Lincoln
Little Woods
Where the critters are
Moose, bear, squirrels and otters
swim and
eating berries
with Woodland Fairies
holding flowers I've never seen
except in dreams
Or movie pictures
Lichen glowing on the trees
and the Mist over the mountains
smiling down windy roads
Where Ex CIA
Artificial intelligence resides
and Randy Quaid and conspiracy theories
hide

Back through Bristol Gap
back home again
to do it all over tomorrow

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Mr. Mole
stayed in a basement
but lived inside a tent
and everywhere that he went
took this cute little thing
he took under his wing
a hedgehog
named Olivia!

It was not really sad,
not really bad
Not terrinble at all
this basement it was finished
no comfort was diminished
some furniture and plants
this was his sanctuary

A little scary...
Mr. Music
this was his real name
no one knew and such a shame
no one he could ever blame
as he played guitar
she was quite tame
Miss Olivia
his life
he thought so lame
but at least he had her

and that were
true
until the day
Olivia said had to say Goodbye
only time
I think he cried
the day she left
the day she died
tears, fears...and years
streaming down his face

and then he sighed
her death implied
time to do other things
let people hear your voice, go sing
And so..
Mr. Music
he decided to go to work
duties no longer can be shirked
off in a Volkswagen Vanagon
Painting houses
As a star employee
worked at times, he did...for free
Dedicating his labor
to his Little Miss Olivia :-)

Called himself
a Mole he did
Never grew
up
that great big kid
he is still living this tale today
perhaps a slightly different way
without dear Miss Olivia.

Cherie Nolan© 2016

We ...
Are The Architects of Our Fate
we build the walls
all these gates
We construct solid walls
they take them down
let them fall
then look around
for Solid Ground
until it's found
I plant my feet

Take a seat
share a story
of honored Glory
My Father was a Carpenter
a Master Builder they would say
And I see his buildings
every day
Arts and craftsman
my kind of build
houses filled
engrossing skill
amazing will
holes were drilled
handhewn milled
beams
intricate details

imparted to me
you can see
by carving
wooden
weathered
leather hands

It's good to admire
though I do not aspire
to live in one now

I miss the farm
in  simple charms
A time exsist my  memories

Queen Abigail of Chelsea
a border collie
she was our dog
Willamina a hog
or the name of a pig
rooting earth she'd happily dig
a silly gig
She never was a meal
Her funny squeal
Saved her life

had a horse  named Cochise
no wool from lamb
that we could fleece
you could not ride
but would stand on hind
legs
and beg
for marshmallows!

I miss the Farm
all the time
it taught me
life is worth living
to keep on giving
what I can.


Cherie Nolan © 2016

You are a constant contradiction
causing me this friction
you're like a drinking
this strange elixir
a  "fixer"
I wolf down that stuff
Your tonic

which to me is...
so ironic
Or is it now?
I think I'm doing everything right
seems like I'm doing everything wrong
One minute we are at odds
and the next minute we get along

So...
it's way too complicated
for you to go to the store
add it to my list
like just count another chore
I keep checking off bite-size pieces
snack size kisses?

I'm not sure though we might have these  insurmountable odds
I guess we'll see if there's dessert after dinner
Winner winner
a dessert mint on my pillow

Except I have to go in there
and think it might be a dream
As real as it may seem
That sleep is the only thing I might find
tonight
And wish that you
could hold me tight
at least one more time
before I go.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

So I hear the word
this Poetic World
has some unnecessary criticism
Not the constructive kind
not building anything
just tearing it down?
Why?

Not anything anyone wants to hear
apparently
maybe that's the fear
Pretty hard to understand motive
when we don't even understand it ourselves
Constant contradictions
Unrealistic predictions

I'm sure you'd cut your nose off to spite your face
Hoping to get their goat
that they are thin skinned
I hate clichés
Doesn't leave much room for intelligence
right?
who doesn't use 'em?
Everything in life is a metaphor
even life itself
truth is only a concept..
the only thing I can imagine is that if you believe it enough it's true
Everyone's version is different
Even swearing on a stack of Bibles
We see things we don't know we do
When choked till blue
A different view
I won't tell you what you want to hear
unless you come real near my ear

I don't pick sides
I'm far from anything but a perfect storm
one that can't be warned to stop
once the wind of calypso blows
And the water shows
I can turn it on like a light switch
strike a soaking match
burn like the fire of your hell
without accelerant
Not arson
You can drag me there but I won't dwell
I've seen the devil face to face
Even he has some poetic Grace
as a fallen Angel might

You don't necessarily have to say anything nice
Can you write it on a grain of rice?
maybe don't say anything at all
or be more articulate
think a little bit before you speak
Or shut that squawking beak,
start talking... there you go.

You never know
who might be listening
Poison arrow with ****** ink it might be glistening
aimed and ready...sights are steady
covers the view from the desert sand, still can see

You'd rather just send a deluge of hate
Bitter taste you can't get out of your mouth
you thought you'd spate
something ate?
spewing
chewing
Like the **** addicts that were eating the face off a homeless person
or the woman on the news who stabbed her four children to death
I got a knife don't want to plunge
So don't you lunge
Plenty of darkness and so-called evil in the world
We can share the stage
I can listen to your rage
or not
and vice versa
We all can be sent to that address
That Abyss
You think anything you're saying is different?
Not very poetic.

Are you an emotional vampire?
Cuz I'm guessing you're just trying to be a literary one
Do you think you have some emotional intelligence and the rest of us don't?
Some people might have to look up with that means
That is alright
poets strung out tight
you think this reporter won't cover subjects others won't?
Like an unpoetic war....
Paaaalease

That we cower in the corner
Like a well-beaten dog
or a scrambled eggs and mixed messages
Eventually they'll bite back you know
I would just laugh
Not maniacally
Just because I know I'm protected
I'm insured for writing this down
I hate to run you out of town
I'm running out of time
We all are
so stop wasting it

I got a gun it's a 45
Shoots shotgun shells and hollow point bullets
called The Judge
Just gave her a rub
It decides using my hands and words
If they're heard
might help the Jury and trigger the Executioner

I won't to ask you treat me the way I want to be treated
cuz I don't know that myself
And I sure as hell don't know how you want to be treated
Personally I don't really read into any messages from sources I can't trust,
there's tetanus in that crusty rust
Too many big problems
just past twelve
send in demon elves
Be careful who you pick fights with
Even that friendly dog will turn
Not sure you'll ever learn
I hope there's no need for extreme rendition

Some people belong to clandestine services
Maybe recruited really young
Couldn't confirm or deny
Really wouldn't want to make you cry
anything but your own tears
Where do you think all that newly discovered water in the center
of the Earth comes from?
More water than all the oceans rivers and seas on the surface...
So
everything we believed about how this Earth..how it was created, formed was WRONG.

The people who are absolutely certain
are the ones I trust the least
Keep thinking they're going to discover the God particle
is that what you're looking for?
We're not going to find the answers
if we don't stop asking
questioning everything
we die.

get a picture of the force?
so don't make this an outbreak
leave that scab alone
don't touch anyone else
Unless they want to be touched
where the want to be
let alone what you don't understand
agree to disagree
check yourself

There are a lot of Cooties going on
Contagions
and few snipers
got gear
and we got game
You can blame
try to shame
whoever you want
You know the truth just gotta dig a Little Deeper
Listen to the creepers
Or not
Today you got more than big brother watching you

You'll see when you look in the mirror
Better be looking over your shoulders too
have some eyes in the back of your head
Do you see that witch?
A mirage?
Could be worse
you could be deaf and blind.... without those hands,
with no food on the poet Island

Maybe not maybe only in your sleep
Get past what hides beyond skin deep
Look up at the sky when it darkens
Watch swooping blackened wings
guttural things
shadowed figures and crimson eyes
and capes
swarming locusts are a gift

Every fear you have inside
crawling on your skin
Brought up in a Riptide
From the belly of the Beast
Anyone purges in the same
different ways
Today is just another piece of time
another rhyme
Nothing special
Or different....
or is it "the day"?
Anyway..

As I see it All I Got the Magic Eye
So just be careful who you pick a fight with
they might walk softly and carry a big stick
as I drag my baseball bat behind me with my glove and ball caught inside
I hide
Tipping my hat at the winking sun
You hear my cleats Crush against the pavement as I walk
it's the only sound
Until a loaded round
or the sunken broken arrow
taken out by the singing sparrow

Going off in peace
So let me go
Upset enough so you should know
Be careful who you pick a fight with
Tread lightly
Right now I got nothing to lose
The archangels are getting Wild
And I'm their child
not because I'm ugly
I just hate ugliness
Not afraid of 7 years of bad luck
Using that bat on the mirrors
I might be a joker,
a conscience stroker
A poet... you are too and you know it
Hard tellin' not knowin'
Can't get there from here
just be careful who you pick a fight with and I will too
Missiles on standby
Not stand down
banks of your armies clowns
Retreat in defeat
Don't appreciate having to go there
bode

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Run your car off the side of the road
get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Get yourself in a bind
Lose the shirt off your back
Need a couch,
need a floor
need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

Chorus:
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Somebody's gonna to drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas
get there fast
Never stop to think what's in it for me
Or it's way too far
They just show on up with their big ol heart
You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
Wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way
And see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times
when a lot of folks jump off

You find out who your friends are somebody's gonna drop everything
run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas
get there fast
never stop to think what's in it for me or it's way too far
they just showing up with their big ol heart
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

When the waters high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
who's going to be there?

Lyrics to Find Out Who Your Friends Are by Tracy Lawrence.



Cherie Nolan.... it's a good **** question don't you think?

Like the sheets out on the clothesline
crisp linen
blowing in the breeze
and the smoke from summer
that fills the air
I wish I could be just drifting out
with them floating on the distance off without a care

I've seen so many birds soaring up above
I can feel their freedom dancing
on the Clouds Of Love

Something's Gotta Give
If I'm ever going to live
it's either got to get better
or it's going to get worse
Maybe there's a way
I can break this
curse
If I get called away like
my father on that day
I hope that every person
whom I have loved
they know I did the best I could
Not always that for which I should
have
A mind, a body....a spirit shattered by time
a broken world is such a crime
Too much drama
too much trauma

Some I did to myself
though mostly they did it to me
the blind they just could not see
The forest through the trees

Some are puppets
some are Puppet Masters
Hoping for disasters
That's how they make a living by others dying
by tears they're crying
I'm just a number and I'm sure they're hoping it's up soon

I guess there are too many people
in this world
There has to be some population control
Can't figure out how they decide
who gets to go along for the ride
Did I take a wrong turn
something I learned
that I shouldn't have?

My nephew died the other day
The second one in a couple years
So I guess I should feel lucky
I still feel I want to live
feel I have a lot left to give
When a second feels like a year
When you can't cry another tear
and you can't see any purpose coming on the horizon
When the hole in your body
it finally fails
When the wind has been taken from the proverbial sails
I will float, soar and drift out on the air
out on the sea
that's what it will feel
like to be free
Like a lantern lit and finally let go
Learning what I did not know
I tried to grow
I tried to show you
how bad this was
Don't understand being this alone
I have family
but no one that I can call my home
though I forgive them
they know not what they do
they havent any clue

You don't appreciate life very often
Till It's Gone
Like The Melody of my favorite songs
I know I'll end up where I belong
In the place where I hope to see
A love from my God eternally
waiting for Night or Dawn
to come.


Cherie Nolan © 2016

They say one thing leads to another
but I wish that wasn't so
how does One Stop racing
One thought... then the next
They all used to be good and suddenly without warning  they just
turned around
Did a 360
Like I did on that dirt road at 17 thought we were going to die
Laughed afterwards... Adrenaline Junkies but now it makes me want to cry
wondering why I didn't die
From double lung pneumonia or the
anaphylactic shock when I was really young that penicillin
Hydroplaning off the road,
jumping an 8-foot Stonewall and having the car crushed to my chest
No one could see me in the down there
in the rain even my brother drove by
Couldn't breathe but somehow I made my way out with broken ribs down the road to a phone
that's all I remember about that
Endless stories of trauma I wonder if everybody's life is a city of it
like mine
I can only imagine it is
The terrible thing when your fight-or-flight response is all messed up
Looks like more than a Crossroads
Looks like an endless maze
Covered in a murky Haze
I hope I can find my way back though going to be a while...
I know the brain is a miraculous friend
I'm thinking way too much
They say the more intelligent we are
the more difficult it is to recover
so I wish I was less intelligent now
Or at least I could close this Pandora's Box
The memories that go round and round like the car in the parking lot that I kept spinning till it the engine died
I keep wondering if all that was just a dream
like getting thrown from the horse
There's a whole lot more that I got to shove
into a bottle
every time they're inside my mind
and I chuck them out into the ocean
hoping that they smash and burst on the shore and I will return to who I was
once more....
Keep focusing on the fact that there are more good days and bad
Try to look forward instead of looking back try to keep track of what's important
Right now I guess that's me.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Thank you fighting Irish
          For standing by my side
           If even for a moment
        I'm glad we share this Pride

       We came amazing distance
      from oppression at our throats
       They cut us way down deep
       and we wear the fighting coat

       It's tattooed on your skin
          Almost everywhere
           No one ever doubts
    The connection that we share

    So I'm sending Irish blessing
      to help you on your way
     I know that you don't need it
      but I hear the bagpipes say

    Our hands were made for fighting
        Defending Irish wings
          Saint Christopher
        stands firm with you
          Until the final ring

      You are a Boondock Saint
           bringing laughter
          with your mirth
     Defending here with us
   Fighting hell upon this Earth

     Eventually a rest will come
       with our Fighting Irish kin
         when you lay down
           all your burdens
               let go
          of Earthly sins
           a battle
             you will
                win
                 when
                   you are
                   .....finally
                         free
                            again.

Much Love to you my Irish Brothers XO

Cherie Nolan © 2016

You are
the Object of My Affection
my reason
my direction
The cause
of this infection
I can't break it down
.... in sections
Not a vote
     in an election
My sugary confection
A whirlwind
      of protection
A needle deep
       injection
I can't stand
     this harsh rejection
You are the seed
     of my reflection
We share
       the same connection
Perhaps thought
      just projection
With further
     real inspection
Was found
    in that detection
I have no need
for our perfection
I'm making
    the corrections

To be the Object of Your Affection
I hope it's not too late
that your love it still awaits
me
on the BRIGHT light of the sun.

Love you

Cherie Nolan*© 2016

I so appreciate all your amazing comments and beautiful thoughts....
I won't apologize because it was beyond my control.
I was unable to use my voice
I'm ill ....unwell, was in the hospital awhile...
I may not catch up...
or be able to do much more than breathe.
I've been thinking too much
  I draw strength from my Father's well...
I saw him from the hospital window a beautiful Bald Eagle
so as I drink water..... I will try.

Thank You All So Very Much
Be Blessed

Cherie Nolan ....
XO

The tears pour down
hit sharp Earth's ground
it hurts my ears this drowning sound

I hear the cry from heavens sky
and I am still left wondering why

I know the time is running short
from angel tears my heart they court
I feel a weather changing chill
the atmosphere is feeling ill

How can I
a helpless me
help the ignorant
to really see
we need to change before it's done
our life on Earth is on the run

Cherie Nolan © 2016

You visited me inside my door
A love for whom I do adore
your sight it took my breath away
though I know you could not stay
perhaps you'll come another day

we danced around my living room
the love we had was in full bloom
you took my hand we spun around
Entranced in silent lovers sound
My feet have not
yet touched the ground

Your smile lit the darkened place
the beauty of your lovely face
a memory I cannot replace
a million times my hands retrace
and wish again

.....your sweet embrace.
Cherie Nolan © 2016

So much is written
in between the pages of that book
If you're judging me by what is written,   you need to take another look

You don't know that I'm a mother
I've worked hard all my life
I raised little a family
I was my husband's wife

We had a little girl
who couldn't breathe right on her own
I wasn't even with her
I could not take her home
I had a little boy who now is six foot eight
I love my children dearly don't tell me it's too late

I  tried to be the daughter
My Father wished I'd be
I have the greatest people
who make up my family

Alone I carry burdens
not written anywhere
so don't you whisper I'm a coward
don't you EVER even dare

Like my daughters fight
to earn a spot here on this earth
what you're reading on those pages
shows nothing of my worth

I will not allow you
to trample
on my name
was given by my father
who'd put your *** to shame

I love my little family
dysfunctional and all
Your hurtful foolish words
well they really take some Gaul
I am quite intelligent
I'm sure you know it's true
I put you in your place
and now you know just who

I am.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

You pull me
                        D
                            O
                               W
                                   N
My mind says no
but my body is agreeing to your ripping claws
poisonous tendrils
nematocysts
I can only see you in the right light
translucency blending in the oceans tide
where I am
                D
                  R
                    O
                     W
                       N
                         I
                          N
                           G
                         I want to be saved
here comes the next wave
I go under again
Down to the bottom to never be
                                                        F
                                                          O
                                                            U
                                                              N
                                                                D
A gurgling bubbling twisted crown
the only tiny remaining

S
  O
    U
      N
         D
As it hits the silent sandy ocean bottom.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Ozzy or my uncle Ozzie
some say his name was misspelled and wrote down as Osiah I don't think it was an accident at all

Osiah means the expression of number 7
He was the Seventh Son
Of a 7th generation
Born with a veil of skin over his face
this is a caul, a veil...his glistening hood

He was born almost all Native American
He was able to play seven instruments without ever being taught
Violin, Fiddle, harmonica, *****, guitar, banjo & the mandolin.

There are a lot of mystical qualities associated with 7
The seven deadly sins
Seven days in a week
Seven colors of a rainbow
Seven notes in the diatonic scale
7 circles to form the symbol of the seed of life
The opposite sides of a dice always equal 7
The Seven Dwarfs
In Japan there are seven lucky gods
There are seven continents
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
We are able to identify seven objects immediately without needing to count them
Hindu wedding celebrate 7 walk around the fire 7 times
While the priest says his Mantra and then they take seven steps and say vows
together 7 times
The Big Dipper has seven stars
Seven dials in London is an intersection
Of 7 streets with a sundial in its Center
7 is the smallest number that gives you 1
there are Seven Wonders of the Ancient World

I am sorry that you were so misunderstood Osiah
I don't believe that you were lazy
you just saw everything in a different way and it all was a little too much for you
your heart was weak and you left so young
You were a kind and uncomplicated soul
I so wish I had known you better I was just a girl
You looked so much like my Father
so Native American ...our history

He spent much of his time alone with his instruments
Many might have seen his life is sad but I don't think it was he won a lot of fiddle and violin contests
though none of those instruments exist anymore or his trophies
gone with his caul
and the clippings of his first hair

A lot of things I don't understand about numbers I see certain ones all the time
7 is not my number but I remember to keep looking they're here for a reason
I guess I will just keep looking
watching
learning
hoping
praying
I have a call too.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I'm a fighter by my trade
a bed of pain you will be laid
my referee has made the call
this fight won't bother me at all
I crick my my neck

Who are you to not be afraid of me?
If I were you I would be
seen some fights more than a few
My gloves are laced and ready
my hands at side are steady
as sweat drips past my brow

Who are you do not know my strength?
I'll kick that feeling
break that ceiling
I am unstoppable

You can make me sick
you can make me cry
keep me guessing
and wondering why
I might give you a little sigh
as I hear them calling

I'll punch you back
knock you out
change my gear
of fear and doubt
I know it'll be alright

My gloves are tightened
my eyes are brightened
footsteps lightened
you don't stand a chance

Better you stay down
then go another round
I'm a fighter
I overcome
this battle has been won
I'm ready

two hits from me
the stars you'll see
me hitting you
you hitting the ground
that will be the only sound
and I am unfraid

you might try and you will fail
I'll take the wind out of your sails
Drop you like a bad habit

I'm a fighter so you know
you'll go down when toe to toe
I can take you with one blow
with the other hand tied behind my back

I'm a fighter
step in this ring
On count when that bell sings
your no match for hands my of steel
I am a fighter
soon you'll feel
the pounding of my fists

Stay down don't get up
My fists held tight against deaths cup
A fighter I was made
a fighter my Father's trade
he's in my corner

I ain't no dope
your pushed back on the ropes
you hit below the belt
I barely even felt
the sting

Step inside this ring
I'm a fighter
an out boxer
step in...or step off.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Everything in life is a metaphor from the Shining Sun of May looking wise and blinding
to the clever looking
young
waxing crescent Moon
smiling at me
I'm hanging there like the surrounding brilliant diamond angel tears
dangling on its every
winking word.
  
Cherie Nolan © 2016

I will slay the Beast
Eragon that damb fire breathing
Menace of a dragon
fly
swatted with my unsheathed sword
I will Purge its bowels
and sanctify my words in iridescent glass ink
I'll shoot Stupid Cupid out of the sky with a sharp pointed arrow ball point pen
Take out the Man in the Moon
Eat a slice of humble pie
my favorite...can taste it now actually
when I left  in such a huff
Cut my hands off to spite my face
How am I ever going to write poetry now
and...
Climb those Church walls that look like a castle...making a rope from crumpled paper
Maybe I can ask you to dance
I'm good at all kinds though a country waltz sure sounds dandy
yup...my cowboy boots and tight fittin jeans Conway

or hang out somewhere in the great big city
make it BIG like Tom
Or carry out a Mission Impossible
we could end up back together
Stranger things have happened

I might have an apoplexy and end up in The Nut House
Should I commit Harry Carey and end up in prison
You want to hear truth
I'll tell you some truth
I don't know if you can handle this truth or not
I'll tell you it in perfect comedic timing,
in my dictation, in my phrasing ,
puddling of lines
and cleverly sounding rhyming
ya I'm a poet sure I am
I can chew on a few magic mushrooms smoke some *****
raise our social consciousness if it helps
Find a little more of my madness because  my madness
maybe even my sadness
helps
to see the world a little more beautifully
look a little more than the guy looking at his feet as he walks down the street
I'll skip a rock across the ocean in rippling wonder with just flick of my pen
paint the mountains with such a crisp contrast they look like paper cutouts
and the clouds
alright... looks like Zeus is up there with his arms folded in anger
dark grey outlines his feet
thunder rolls from his belly
stomping around, crashing lighting
on tips the of billowing bright white golden fleeced
gauze drenched clouds
like the back of a newborn lamb
Oh..
Don't you want to touch it

I might jump Johnny's pirate ship across the sky in the blackened
night navigating through the Stars
laughing menacingly
at the starlit tears guiding us
and at the ghostly fleets chasing
I will be the one looking back at you
in the mirror and show you what you  need to see
do I have the power of discernment?
No...just a poet
I guess I'm a poet after all
so send me your Peter Pan and Tinker Bell dreams
I'll dance with the little teapot and dip the Little Spoon
in the river  
with Aesop playing bagpipes to catch us some dinner
shoot straight at a carnival game
knock them all down
expert shot.
First try
next?

I knew you'd Miss Me When I'm Gone
It's part of the poetic curse
my poetic curse
I'm just a poet

though my words will always be here for you to read.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

After a weary journey
through chaos
rest here
Embrace Life
be still with
gentle serenity
touch this
eternity
nourish hope
love
inner peace
magnificent sweet ache
of warm love
transform
flow
and endure.

I took the pieces of our life
and I wear them as a coat
laughter painted on my face
and in my music's notes

dainty stitched embroidery
spells out
.....my dear Cherie
a quilted coat of all our dreams
I wear for you to see

I wear your red bandana
and your favorite flannel shirt
the prices of your labored hands
sent twirling in my skirt

The Faded cloth reminds me
of familiar memories
a day gone by just yesterday
sent drifting on the seas

we didn't have much money
though we never went without
we never wandered hungry
and your love was not in doubt

I'll treasure every thread you've sewn
within my closets clothes
Every button I am saving
that so carefully you chose

I hope my children wear this coat
you so gladly gave to me
with pieces of your Momma's love
a love you gave to me

I was your little baby girl
my skin a velvet piece
you comfort with your rugged hands
and press away the creases

of my  jacket ever aging
in these calluses and lines
with scars of painful tears I cried
released by stitching time

this coat has kept me warm
on coldest nights I spend alone
I always have my patchwork coat
no matter where I roam

my painted quilted family coat
it always takes me  home
Love you Daddy

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I can see you with your wings
    That the Angels gave to you
        I can see you with the scars
         in a crimson shaded hue

    I can see you have your wings
           I think I always could
       You always were an angel
          I thought you understood

        I can see you flying high
     soaring eagle scout from God
         gliding past my house
        with a fluted piping nod

         Soar out to the glaciers
       to the highest angel nest
  you've earned your lovely wings
    just like Michael and the rest

        I see you have my wings
     They're waiting in your hand
        a song for me you sing
         so glorious and grand
     it's almost like you planned
         your hourglass of sand
             was running out

        you see I have my ring
         my angel from above
    and while you have your wings
        My finger wears your love

       One day I'll take wing too
         to heavens gate I will fly
         no longer burning pain
         no longer tears to cry
                    until then
          we have this love

   those wings will have to wait
       I already tried to ask
    no answer came from Fate
   shaded feathers my love basks

       I hope you take your wings
      and fly places you want to go
          So when I get my wings
         those places you can show
         our destiny you'll know

until then....prepare a place for me.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

7 o'clock
a light summertime dream
just before dark
unfolding it's scheme

painted in sandals
clovered kissed toes
lovely green shamrocks
are standing in prose

a fierce looking cat
Amber eyes
silver fur
bunting her leg
and giving a purrrr

getting back home
nearly hour gone by
look to the tree
playing ball in the sky

it looks like the moon
nearly 3 quarter size
outlined in countries
is neatly disguised

it's actually a ball
playing with leaves
That thing called the moon
has some tricks up its sleeves

she saw it glide down
and bounce off of a cloud
tipping it's hat
and bowing to town

See you tomorrow
her group of new friends
this just the beginning
we're far from the end

No need for luck
with her beau in the sky
a 3 quartered boy
with love in his eyes

she bows to the moon
as her Gypsy skirt flows
silver cat walking
wherever she goes
shamrock tipped pom poms
will twinkle her toes

Another summer time walk
with his dearest of Maidens
her toes and her eyes
are moon dipped and ladden

Goodnight Moon.

Cherie Nolan© 2016

I was flipping through some books that I got from a free pile.... some lovely literary titles.
In the back with a note with a quote from Robin Williams

"Please don't worry so, because in the end none of us have a very long time on this Earth life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed cast your eyes to the Summer Sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night if a shooting star streaks through the Blackness, turning night into day make a wish, think of me, make your life SPECTACULAR! "

I can hear him saying that in a sincere yet....  comedic tone. Words like this above and the ones following just seem to always flow from his lips

" you're only given a little spark of Madness you mustn't lose it"

" Comedy is acting out optimism"

" People say satire is dead. Isn't dead it's just living in the White House."

" the Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'give me your poor, you're tired, your huddled masses'- she's got a baseball cap and a bat yelling- you want a piece of me?"

" Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students"

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person they've got nothing to lose"

And finally...not by any favorite

"No matter what people tell you words and ideas can change the world"
All above quotes by Robin Williams

"I think Robin Williams was an amazing quick witted poet, an exceptionally gifted actor...because I'm not sure he was acting...and he was also a very shiny human being" - Cherie Nolan © 2016

Dig a deep hole
                   bury me
                         shallow grave
                             I will not die
                             my soul
                           not a slave
                       little tree
                    grows
                mighty
             and brave
           roots barely cover
         with earth and with snow
          torrential flood rains
            an cold winds that blow
                as Little tree pains that
                         her roots they still grow
                            unending rootstocks
                           take ahold of our root
                      grow firmest oak trees
                   out beyond stars
               out past the seas
          down we be sleeping
               veins they be seeping
                   joy we be reaping
               our secrets lay keeping
             a love ever deepening
           a dowsed
              river vein
                 my roots not be waned
                  I bend
              stretch my limbs out,
              
            twisting and turning
               wood not for burning
                     far as earth goes
                       roots wrap around
                           all that is found
                        Dig a deep hole
                  back to the sky
                out to the sea
                    tears death does cry
                           dig a deep hole
                              cannot bury me
                        infinite stars
                past galaxies
           protect you from wind
             my trunk will not break
                   shelter
                     cover from sun
                    roads that we take
                 Dig a deep hole
              as far as above
            lay me inside
     find eternal love.

Cherie Nolan © 2016