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It’s not your fault
You were raised broken
I don’t care about your town but I care about the words spoken
To you, or your siblings
When all they wanted was love
But they were stuck in a dark place where everything was unsure of
How do you agree to bring someone into this world
How does a mother try to trap a man knowing there relationship toxic
how does a man agree to a baby when he knows he can barely take care of himself
Im so mad at this world, I wish I could be anywhere else.
I met women who have babies and made that her source of income
But that baby didn’t ask for a mother who had no plans to be one
Let me be clear when I say I don’t involve myself in politics
Because there’s flaws in every family, every future, every decision that makes me hurt for ALL people going through this.
There’s a stigma for the lower level of the Totum pole.
There’s a standard, an expectation, or a call of role
I think the world we live in today is a terrible place
I’m a single white female I dont see color and don’t judge circumstance based on your race
But we’re all in the wrong. Ain’t nothing easy anymore
I failed out of college and spend my days mopping floors.
I don’t blame the system for that because it’s on me.
But I blame the system for safety when things got scary, when ex boyfriends goes far enough to hurt my family.
I know there’s no rhyme or reason, there is absolutely no sense in believing in the law
But it took me fearing my life and realizing there isn’t ever anyone to call.
I was always different because I understood the people who lived in struggle and pain
My trauma is different, but the words I heard always felt the same
I still won’t understand how people could bring a child  in this world
When they don’t have a long term plan for this little boy
Or little girl.
I wish I could understand why all of us are expected to feel pain
And I wish I could save every person whose words hurt worse or hurt the same.
This life is so unfair no matter the lengths you’ve felt it
But we all suffer in our own ways. I just hope you find the strength to never quit
#2020 #life #feels #race #equality #sad #hurt #love #neveralone #write #strength #power #family #mom #dad #kids #children
Rinkitty Apr 28
Your aura is that of mixed emotions.
The pain in your eyes are visible.
You shove it back behind closed doors and lock them tight.
Why do you let yourself suffer alone?
Share with me.
I'm here to listen.
I want to shoulder what you shoulder.
My arms are open.
My mind is clear.
I will bring you warmth.
My mind is open for you to fill.
Take the offer.
No rush.
Unless you go to him then fine.
I understand.
My arms will still be open.
My mind will still be clear.
If I have to I'll wait for the rest of my life here for you.
Don't let your demons win the battle that's inside your head.
You can win.
By yourself maybe not for long.
But you're not alone.
I'm here.
With open arms.
Sienna Sep 2019
shut up! i have more friends than you!
and we always get along.
i just sprinkle some sugar and watch from my window
and hear them sing their songs!

now they don’t stay very long,
but it's a small price to pay.
real friends sacrifice, plus
their hearts would burst if they stayed.

but it's okay, really!
i could never let them die.
they say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
and i know they’d never lie.

they just love me so much…
what?! i’m not alone, what do you mean?
i have more than i could ever want! in fact,
they say that i’m their queen.
Now I enjoy all phases of the moon
The curvy crescent just waiting for someone to go sit up there
The healthy half moon , just looking for its twin to feel complete
But the full moon is my favorite , almost like a spiritual emblem to my persona
The full moon is enlightening and I can talk to it like one of my angels
But when it goes new , it goes quiet , vanishing, leaving me wandering
And then pops back up at the perfect time to keep me guided and hopeful
I have to say it’s probably one of my most loyal friends ..
Like friends , the full moon comes and goes. But like good friends, it stays loyal.
Quieted by my solitude,
Serene in my tornadic thoughts,
Alone this peaceful interlude,
Escaping feelings overwrought.

Immune to chaos and torment,
My heart is in the typhoon’s eye.
Though burned I’ve felt my pain relent,
Your love for me’s the reason why.

Anguish my one and only friend,
Loneliness meant desperation,
And I could never comprehend,
Feeling loved in isolation.

I thank you for the thought of you.
It’s the most present thing I’ve known.
This is what makes a soulmate true—
You’re here even when I’m alone.
Instagram @insightshurt
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Sarah Lane Jun 2018
You will find me here
Where I've curled up to hide
You will find me here
I'm waiting to be found
You will find me here
And stroke my hair aside
You will find me here
To share my tears with me
You will find me here
Staying until they're dry
You will find me here
Then lift my head again
You will find me here
So suddenly I'll see
You will find me here
It's your presence that I need
Lu Feb 2018
Imagine with me...
Trapped and scared, head pounding.
Darkness all around us,
Loud noise, all resounding.

The familiar ache inside your chest,
Killing you from inside, burning hot.
Spreading like the wildfire,
Nothing will shake it, seconds left you've got.

Can you hear them above the roar?
Or are you stuck inside your head again?
Open your eyes, little one,
Look through the dark clouds, but what then?

Do you feel the rain beat against your face,
Do you feel anything but pain?
We're caught, you see, caught in the in-between,
Are you alive, little one? Are you still sane?

These nights you lay awake,
I'm right there with you.
I know how much you fear what's hiding in the dark,
But I face them too.

Wrong side of Heaven,
Righteous side of Hell.
We don't belong anywhere,
But don't worry, I'll never tell.
RazanSidErani Jun 2017
I am of an unpopular opinion
that if you have yourself, my dear
you are never alone.
Ma Cherie Aug 2016
My Father: I Never Promised You a Rose Garden!
My Mother: Well I Never expected a thorn bush either!

I always thought it was quite funny
I remember this on sunny days
when my parents were driving my Father would ask my Mother if anything was coming from the other direction and he'd say:
"Is it okay George?
And my mother would say:
"Okay, Hit it Henry!!!"...I still have no real idea why...I remember and I sigh...
as a twinge of sadness comes sneaking in.

There were certain people that my Father did not care for and he would say they were snobs ..."****** intellectuals"... as a child I got confused by that but now it makes perfect was said without pretense.
I had to figure it out.

Without a doubt...
I have many fond memories of my family...especially my Dad, who really sacrificed more than anyone I've ever known
who sowed every seed he'd ever sewn
Raised 4 kids till they were grown
all the fading memories that I blindly used to perceive as bad...
have now melted into the Beautiful
They are now the things that endear me to them... as I remember...they make me smile for a little while.

My Father has passed now some five years... was born a simple man of simple means...
times for him or more than just a little lean
Shoes three sizes way to big
stuffed toes with old newspapers
a dresser drawer....fashioned Sisters crib
He was a Phoenix rising from those ashes
And he was never out of fashion...
a Master Carpenter... a builder of my dreams...
raising beams
dressed in denim bib overalls and a white T-shirt...a red, white and black bandana in his pocket to wipe his sweating brow

And now....ever since the day he died
I have tried...but my Mother and I now have this distant love
so I know he's still guiding me, and us from far above
I never would have made it this far
way too many scars...
It's a strange feeling to feel so very alone
feel like I have no real home
in the world...
I am a caretaker of an apartment....

I feel he would have done
anything for me  
he would never let me see...
such awful things
and be
down in such lonesome places
with strangers, such unfamilar faces
Or so I used to think

I've been at the very brink
Now I understand he wanted me to know
to struggle for my life and so I would grow
as even a thornbush would...
It taught me to be humble even when I couldn't walk
to listen and not to talk
even though I have my children, my progeny...
If sometimes I still can feel so very alone...
so no matter where my Gypsy heart roams
I carry those memories with me they are my church in the day...and in the night
I remember his final words
and I know.... it'll be alright
He taught me how to fight
and I am fighting beside him now...

I am carrying out his final wishes
I cook them in my famous dishes
My Father absolutely enjoyed the sharing of food...
Always was in the mood for something delicious...
So I sprinkle
them with his way
the things he'd often say
with his stoic compassion,
an understanding heart, so kind
I try to share his brilliant mind...
I am thankful that he wanted me and made certain I was here
His memory to me so dear...
with him I have no fear
Thank you Father
Thank you Daddy...
Love you Ma Cherie....

Cherie Nolan © 2016
I remember this banter between my parents and thought it was funny. Then I started reading this and it made me feel sad but it's all good it's all part of the process. :)
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