Bark, bark, yap, yap,
Don't they ever stop, you bad dog you chewed my favorite shoe, lay down , get outside , chain them up, cover their mouth with a leather strap where they can't speak,.  They get left in scorching heat. It's not to cold it's a dog, he has a dog house he can take shelter from that storm. Don't stop it's just a dog you ran over. So you leave his body to lay..
You fool, can't you see, they are just babies like we use to be , they bark and yap cause they are talking to you, they need your attention so they chewed your favorite shoe. Let's see how it feels to put that chain on your neck and leave you tangled outside for days, let me forget I didn't get you freshwater it's only 100° today, crawl in that boarded up box to shelter yourself from the rain, it's normal for you to shake in the cold ,  if I strike you and leave you lay they lock me up for ******, You should be ashamed of yourself   Human you call yourself  what part of this is humane.
They love , they hate, they hurt they feel pain and joy they cry real tears , they blood runs through them to pump their heart, they are no different than you and me   wait what am I saying there is but one very big difference you see,  my furbabies are more loyal than any human standing. They protect me when I'm in danger, they comfort me in my time off need, they never leave my side , theres  the difference ,now can you see

I sit here this morning and stare as he sleeps.
So precious and perfect in every way, if I could only erase the memories he keeps.
He was born into this world to love and raise ,
to teach him morals and respect and give God his praise
He's seen more in his life than a little boy should .
I would take it all away only if I could.
He looks up to you now in every way.
At least he has up until he asked me today.
A question I didn't want to hear or respond
Although I'm sure I know the answer and it's all wrong ..
You're the one special man he was so proud to say .
Maw maw , Corey is going to be my step dad one day.
I can only hope that you love him  enough that you won't let him down.
This little boy, my grandson, deserves a happy home and a good father figure around.

This family I have all began with a girl named Bella, she was more than adorable. Loyal and loving she was one of a kind. She never ran off until one day she never came home, my heart broke as I searched near and far, not only taken from me but 5 babies left behind.  I was trying to find these babies a loving home but attached from day one I kept them for my own. Oh my the destruction they caused, 3 girls and 2 boys, Heaven, Sadie, Sky, Junior and Buster along with my shitzu,  Zoey. Never a dull moment as each one special in there own way. Little did I know the place where we lived the ground they played upon made every one of them poisoned by parvo and deathly sick. My Fience and I worked round the clock administering medication and fluids to 6 very sick puppies. Our battle seemed to never end as death filled our home and we lost one. Exhausted and drained as i laid beside our remaining babies, death sunken eyes peered up at me from each and every one as if asking me "momma please save us for what have we done"  I burst into tears as I gathered them all near, laying my hands upon there tired bodies I closed my eyes and began to Pray, God please heal my babies make them better through my hands, I know you can work miracles so I'm begging of you to spare the life of my babies I pray unto you . As silence filled my home covered with doom, my body grew numb , I knew God was here. I began praying harder never lifting my hands as the heat from my hands became even hotter I couldn't remove them from their bodies. Chills ran through me like I've never felt before, releasing my hands as I looked in their eyes , the death that once consumed them appeared to go away. Within a matter of hours one by one they began to get well. I dropped to my knees and gave God his Grace for saving my babies that day. Every word I've said in this poem is 100% true, A wonderful testimony of how love , faith and God healed my furbabies that day.

©kimmied1105

As I reach out to help you, my instinct to guard and protect you, my efforts are  halted .
Feelings of helplessness living false hope consume my every thought. A mother bear unable to  protect her cub infuriates her in a violent rage, as she will stop at nothing to reunite with her baby. But how can I reach you and stop you from walking into the blazing fire, it is evil my child the devil in one of many diguises. Back down and get away from those that are Satan's spawns. I begged and I pleaded with fools but  their ignorance ignored my warnings, as I spoke with words they could comprehend, Not to take my baby boy from me , they wanted to set an example and let politics rule their judgement, Your Honor, I am begging you,  my son made a mistake and deserves to be punished but his sentence of memories from that night is a life sentence please don't put him behind those bars or you will only make a good boy turn bad. I can't reach you to save you baby save yourself and pray to God for He is your Savior son and He will see you through. Hell has no fury when the Mother Bears cub is safe and she returns to finish protecting the ones that took her cub away.

©kimmied1105

A heart beats and gives you the gift of life but a heart breaks and and leaves you lifeless with no sense of hope.
Feeling as though you have a gift to see in others souls, comes with the curse of sadness of bearing their pain as well.
Something I've got to be missing in this life, why would you be given a gift to see and feel what others do if there's no way of changing or stopping their pain and hurt then what is the good of knowing it and the purpose if feeling it .
It's like being caged and chained to a floor as you sit back and watch as life's are being destroyed and all you can do is speak to them what you see while your heart feels the pain and hurt of what their life has been and shall be .
I'm searching for the answers of what it is I'm to do , I cry because I know and feel not only my own sadness but everyone else's too.
Some call it being an Empathy and give description I fit so well , I call it for the most part a curse of living hell.
©kimmied1105

Look onward out towards the crashing waves of the sea.
It's there I dare to compare the rock holding form upon the crystal reef.
Compare to whom for there is no capable being upon this Earth holds claim to equal such
I know only one strong enough to withstand those  violently crashing waves , my hero , my daddy, his back totes the weight of the world every day , this rock standing firm in the heart of the crystal reef, holds little force to compare
Journey with me for your eyes won't believe
Young but recalling the blizzard one winter my hero, my daddy that returned from the mountain
Eyes of sky blue shining through crystals of icicle hanging from his lashes, his face purple from the wicked freeze of sleet.
I peered with pain while my mother laid warmth over my hero's frozen face, it was the rock in the reef that cold winter's day far across the fierce mountain snow he tracked to provide a meal a for his family
A wife and four girls , a back that had been broken not one but three times , I couldn't hold the tears in my eyes as my bus passed him walking as it drove me to school  there was no money for a vehicle, my hero, my daddy, five miles to and five miles home, every  single day for over six months and never missed a day , walked with his *******  back to provide for us
His hands were covered with hard labor of his life as the mines collapsed sparing his life as it ripped his finger away
His job led him underground just miles from hell for to long
Turning his lungs to it's likeness of the coal
Three days went by what seemed forever as the rubble they lifted from that mine was like holding a gun to the head of the men trapped in below
For the chance of that bullet one wrong move would send the mine and it's beings far beneath the earth to never be found.
We glared at the pile of rubble they said time was running out
Wait what does that mean as the families begin to weep
When all of the sudden the minor let out the words that sounded angelic to my ears, Men I see a light shining in the hole and it's coming towards me.
I could see as what looked in the form of a man but was covered with black from the coal the light from his hard hat turning side and up and down as he had one man on his shoulder he lifted him out and disappeared to retrieve the other men still down in that deep dark hole. One by one my hero my daddy brought them to their safety , this my friend is the rock from the reef that can withstand the crashing waves,  the man that tracked through a freezing blizzard to make sure his family ate, and the man that returned the husband's home safe to their family's from the depths of hell that day Always and forever this man will be , My Hero , My Daddy!
©kimmied1105

They stood helpless as He was Crowned with thorns, then anchored with wood in form of a cross.  He carried that cross to the scene of his death, where they drove spiked nails through his flesh.
Hung from the cross tortured and beat , His death Fell upon him, They  wrapped his body in a white  sheet and laid it inside the tomb. As they left they sealed the tomb with a boulder surely to heavy to move. Our Father gave his life that day for the sake of our sins .
As Mary went to the tomb that day, she bear witness of an angel perched on the rock, as the rock no longer blocked the entrance to the tomb where Jesus was laid, she entered the tomb and much to her surprise, Jesus Christs  body was no longer there as the angel spoke to Mary "He's Alive" He Rose from the dead that day to forgive us of our sins. As we live this life He gave to us I praise Him for His Grace For Just as He died for us He Rose from the Dead just the same. He is Alive Thank you sweet Jesus

Your tears of sadness and uncertainty pour like rain on my heart.
Wanting so much to mend what others have torn apart.
Keep your head up, love yourself and God above all.
For as long as I'm still breathing, rest assure I will be there to pick you up if you should fall.
This is your life to live so live it as you choose.
You will make mistakes along the waybut that doesn't mean you lose.
You will travel many roads some of them a dead end.
Dont give up turn around rid yourself of everything and everyone in your life that's pretend .
One day you will look back and remember all the roads you traveled, all the dead ends, all the times you turned around,
Don't be ashamed of your story , look in the mirror and be proud of that woman all those roads found.

I'm always here for you

Written by

Kim Essary

The town grew silent as an eerie sound rumbled near
Run, run run fast gather the covers go to the nearest shelter ,
What? No sirens to warn us of the evil whisk of wind that would leave mass destruction on that April night . The ripping and roaring , the sound of a train blowing it's whistle , the ripping off  trees from the ground , like a scene from the wizard of Oz , it's massive force carried houses animals and yes people to , from here to there slinging them in circular motion, this beast had no mercy in my town,. It jumped in one place untouched ground next door, it slung the cars so hard they were sticking in the concrete bridges. My God in Heaven have mercy on us .
Walking , running screaming for lost loved ones, death and destruction offered the sight of a war zone where we were all on the front line and lost something that night.
Trampling over the unseen, the crumbled homes downed trees the bodies of people the sound of sirens the smell of gas the sound of the chainsaws roaring cutting through the rubbles of 2hat remained.
It left my town, home of the crimson Tide, bruised and broken and torn to the soul as we lost so much to the tornado that night
All we had left  now was little to remain.  God bless Tuscaloosa
©kimmied1105

The town grew silent as an eerie sound rumbled near
Run, run run fast gather the covers go to the nearest shelter ,
What? No sirens to warn us of the evil whisk of wind that would leave mass destruction on that April night . The ripping and roaring , the sound of a train blowing it's whistle , the ripping off  trees from the ground , like a scene from the wizard of Oz , it's massive force carried houses animals and yes people to , from here to there slinging them in circular motion, this beast had no mercy in my town,. It jumped in one place untouched ground next door, it slung the cars so hard they were sticking in the concrete bridges. My God in Heaven have mercy on us .
Walking , running screaming for lost loved ones, death and destruction offered the sight of a war zone where we were all on the front line and lost something that night.
Trampling over the unseen, the crumbled homes downed trees the bodies of people the sound of sirens the smell of gas the sound of the chainsaws roaring cutting through the rubbles of that remained.
It left my town, home of the crimson Tide, bruised and broken and torn to the soul as we lost so much to the tornado that night
All we had left  now was little to remain.  God bless Tuscaloosa

My heart is full of admiration as each day that has passed since my dedication to My Friend Across the Sea. For all the likes and loves and comments left for her healing eyes to see. My dearest Kim I know you will be touched when your eyes are able to read, your worth has shined through their words now you can see what you mean to them and me.  Thank you all for you haven't only been more than kind but you have inspired not only Our Dear friend Kim Johanna Baker but you have all been very kind to me.  Bless you All

Don't see my pain as a weakness, every tear makes me strong,
I refuse to break, but I will bend,  
I refuse to be torn, but can be frayed,
I will not shatter, but am able to crack,
I am not trainable but am willing to be taught,,
I have imperfections just as you but never forget  IM ONLY HUMAN TOO!

©kimmied1105

imagine a world  with less sorrow and pain
Where haters didn’t hate for they had nothing to gain
A place where neighbors knew you by name
Where we could walk proud and not in shame
A world where our laws that were written were followed and applied to us all
A place where when we spoke to someone it was face to face for there were no phones to just pick up and call
A place where we heard and understood what was being spoken or asked
A place where we could breath because we weren’t forced to wear a mask
Imagine a time when the governed law was God Law as well
Imagine our world before we conformed to the Government who put us through hell.

It's been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time the mind protecting it's sanity covers them with scar tissue & the pain lessens but, it's never gone. The reality of fear is I'm not afraid of the dark just scared of what's in it. I'm not afraid of heights just scared of falling. I'm not afraid of the people around me just scared of rejection. I'm not afraid to love just scared of not being loved back. I'm not afraid to let go just scared of accepting the fact that it's gone. I'm not afraid to try again just scared of getting hurt for the same reasons. I want to be the person you are scared to lose, the one you will love without restrictions, trust without fear, want without demand, & accept for who I am.

One of these days , you will see my worth and know my loyalty, you will understand  what  I gave and realize I gave it all. You will look back on the dreams we had and the memories we made, when we could have made so many more. You will realize and acknowledge all of the things taken for granted , you will then understand all of the insults and harsh words weren't necessary. Although you may have hurt my heart and scarred my soul, you have only discouraged me for the moment, and I may never forget the things you said but I always forgave you. I never claimed perfection and stand in my own wrongs. The only difference is, I can own my faults and admit them to you , will it all be worth it in the end, when your faults can only touch one soul, and that one soul will be only you.?
©kimmied1105

One of these days , you will see my worth and know my loyalty, you will understand  what  I gave and realize I gave it all. You will look back on the dreams we had and the memories we made, when we could have made so many more. You will realize and acknowledge all of the things taken for granted , you will then understand all of the insults and harsh words weren't necessary. Although you may have hurt my heart and scarred my soul, you have only discouraged me for the moment, and I may never forget the things you said but I always forgave you. I never claimed perfection and stand in my own wrongs. The only difference is, I can own my faults and admit them to you , will it all be worth it in the end, when your faults can only touch one soul, and that one soul will be only you.?

Defenseless as the bull lays with his limbs wound tight with twined rope, watching as the hot iron lay upon his coat and melt it's way to his flesh. All he can do is Bellow at the agonizing pain for he is unable to stop it. Flowing rapid through his vanes the pain , like the rivers rushing down the stream.
The torture still steaming as the damage is done ,he wears the memory of that pain daily to remind of a feeling of helplessness dismissing his dignity replacing it with his submission as he is forever branded .  I live this feeling everyday as I wake to the torture of my limbs twined with invisible rope, the only difference is the burning flesh is inside piercing my heart as I lay helpless knowing I can't save you from your pain. The worry rips through me ****** and kidnapping my sanity as the thought of the unknown is more than I can bare. Although my scars  are internal ,  the naked eye can't see , the hurt  and fear I  feel for you,  brands me every day

As you travel through this journey of life, stay on your path, if it leads you in the right direction. Watch for the signs, they give you your warnings, move over and allow on coming traffic for people to enter your life, don't  follow them as they exit, these are the ones you don't need. Stop at the stop signs pay attention, slow down for bumps as you will have many, hitting a dead end means you took a wrong turn, a lesson in life  you go through, all of your travels mold who you are , continue to travel your journey of life looking forward , for looking in your rear view mirror to live in your past, your purpose of life will pass you by and you may never see it
©kimmied1105

I admire your canning ability to gain my full attention. I can sense your desire to ****** me by your hypmatizing glare, your come hither look is flattering, but I must warn you to be aware.
As some things in life may not be as they appear. For through your eyes my appearance is that of a pure lady with *** appeal , as my silken dress is pressed to fit every curve just right , with a slit running up it stopping mid thigh. Just enough room for an imagination to run wild. My top folded delicately enough you can see perfect cleavage, just enough of my tanned breast to leave you wanting more. Making my way through the crouded party to the balcony overlooking the beautiful ocean. Standing alone with my eyes closed listening as the waves crash in, I feel a presence behind me and your hot breath against my skin, the chill bumps run across me, I almost lost control, your body so tight against me I can feel the beats of your heart.
The sensation of Sparks begin to ignite as you gently run your finger up the slit of my dress, teasing my lace *******, pulling them to the side.  I could feel myself throbbing as my wetness surrounded your finger as you slid  it inside me. My knees growing week with every move you made. I leaned into you and whispered softly in your ear, I've given you fair warning things aren't always as they seem but you continue to toy with me you don't know what you are about to unleash.  With a quaint little smirk he added a finger his thumb up against my ****, you are bringing me to my explosion of pure ecstacy.
There was no holding back as I released my sweetness his hardness was like steel, you have released the freak in me as we make our way on the beach , ripping clothes off left and right I knelt down in front of him as he placed himself in my hot wet mouth my eyes piercing up at him as he pulled the back of my hair, I pushed him over as I mounted him  and gave him one hell of a ride.  As we finished both more than pleasured , still on top I look down and say  do you understand now my warning to you as you turned a **** lady into a complete freak in bed.

There are words that haunt me worse than the ghosts of a burnt asylum.  To hear someone say, there's nothing we can do, nothing will stop them. Makes my blood boil . We are people created as equal , yet one man holds the fait of one's life in his hands. He hands down a sentence of whatever his choosing when it's written to obide the punishment set forth for a crime to follow. Who or what is  this  law enforcement, making arrests, setting a bond, sentencing to prison, for what they claim to be defeating violence or crime on the streets let's not forget their war on drugs. For sake of my humor as I'm laughing out loud, I was under the impression in order to solve a problem you must start with the source, well I'm screaming this loudly so I can be heard, the law enforcement officers wear a badge on their chest and took an oath to protect, through the barbwire fences surrounding our jails and prisons they work every day, but the problem at hand when they preach to stop crime, Mr. Officer this man is in prison for the sale of a drug, how dare you make it more accessible than the streets you arrested him while he serves time in this prison and it's law enforcement peddling the weapons and drugs and promoting violence where loved ones lay stabbed but nothing done. Stop kidding yourself it's too plain to see the war that they are fighting will never end because it's the ones enforcing the law that need to be in prison the drugs on the street starting with them

My life has been more than empty for so many years;
  Filled with so much sadness as I've  cried lonely tears.
  Allowing myself to feel this for so long I had given up on me;
  I was coming to terms with my life and accepting this harsh reality.
  My dreams that I would some day be loved, For Better or For Worse;
  They were all fading away now and being replaced by a curse.
  Although I wanted to place the blame on someone besides me;
  The truth is the Choice was mine of how my life would be.
  The Lord gives us this life with free will to decide the paths on our own;
  I probably would have made different choices if I would have only known.
  So cherish this life, for you only have one;
  Live each day like your last, learn to walk before you run.

Somewhere in this life I will find the escape of my search , I shall open every door, look out every window, travel anywhere my escape may be.  
Then suddenly I am confused as a strange thought crosses   my mind as I sit all alone in my untidy  box I call a home ,
What is it I'm escaping from? Is it the mirror of an old woman always staring at me, she is like the rose I use to see but her color has faded as her skin is  wilting like the petals of a once beautiful flower now turning to dust .  
The sadness of reality now striking like the thorns on the rose a stinging pulsing pain as I realize there is no escape as I fade off to sleep I may wake another day, everything I see will be seen just the same until the day the rose petals fall to the ground as does the old lady pass away.
©kimmied1105

Life seems so short and time goes by fast;
  Thinking of memories, consumed by your past.
  The choices we made, the roads we travel down;
My if we had just one chance to stop and turn it all around.
  So any decisions we made, yet for the most part we're wrong;
  Yet my life still holds the question, as to where I belong.
  I know in my heart that God has his purpose for me;
   Maybe it is I'm looking for answers I feel that I cannot see.
  As I look back now I would be lying to say the choices that I made I don't regret,;
   However if I could change my choices how would I know that they were mistakes yet?
  Was I so often if given a chance, we would go back in time to make it all change;
  For all the wrongs would  be right, the bad into good, just too awake to a life so different and strange.
  As you read these words that I say;
  Continue to read before the next time you pray.
  There's always a beginning where something  ends;
  Such is true, that there must be an ending before another begins.
  Before I kneel to pray, I pray not to change but for forgiveness, for my bad choices per say;
  I praise my dear Lord for now I see, my past met my future, learning my mistakes taught me how to be the person that I am today.

He was everything I needed in life to complete me , He was the wind beneath my wings as I felt like he let me soar through the sky.
He never tried to stop me from being me, He accepted me for who I am. He believed in me and the person I am. I have never felt the need to lie to him because he accepted the truth for what it was.  He put me as high up on a pedestal as I could put him. The rareness of our love was pure Devine in every thinkable way. He made me feel beautiful even on my worst day. I don't know how to reach Him, something has taken Him away. For every definition I've described is just the opposite today. I would give anything to feel His touch the way it use to be or to look at his eyes and see the love he had for me . Maybe He will cone back to me soon All I can do is hope and Pray. I'll never surrender my search, not one day before the Good Lord calls me home to stay.
©kimmied1105

Our love once burned like a glowing ember . Beauty on the arm of her **** beast, your eyes melted my existence.
Not a disrespectful word uttered between us, we made love for hours daily, always leaving us both with the anticipation of lust wanting more ,it was never enough.
How can such a love just fade away.  When you touch me now there's a difference in your feel, I understand my body has changed from my sickness but can't you see I'm still me inside , or at least I was before you shamed me now I remain ashamed of myself .
I still find you so attractive and want you, need you every day , you have left me , I'm no longer in your heart and it hurts my heart to know this no matter what you say.
Love isn't a word to be thrown around, we are supposed to grow old together in sickness and in health . That's all gone now , who and what am I supposed to be now that I've given all of me to you.

The most wonderful of all things in life,I believe,is the discovery of another human being with  whom one's relationship has a growing depth,beauty,& joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two persons is a most marvelous thing. It cant be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it, it is a sort of divine accident, & one of the most wonderful of all things in life!
However the human heart is so easily deceived by the promising words used so easily and embarked on another’s heart so heavily.
Love and all of its purpose , to be cherished and held sacred not abused and held hostage
Love shouldn’t be confused with habit nor possession or obsession
Love is pure and simple Love

Pitter patter , pitter patter, as you are awaken from your sleep.
Oh but the fallen heart so in love
In love with that perfect tiny little child as they run as fast as they can and land middle of the bed,
Good morning my sunshine , you slept well,  as the hugs wrap you so heavenly.  Even with the darkest gloom they shine such vibrant light the second their presence is in the room.
No matter the regret of one day of sleeping in , hand and hand we go , it's time for our day to begin.   Aw the love of a grandchild no apples or oranges do compare for there's only a love so pure and honest and destined to last a lifetime. Lay beside me  their tiny voice whispers as the day has been long,  night is upon us, as I tuck my sweets into bed.
Grandma, yes dear, I love you Soo much, as the light from the moon shined upon the face of the innocent child I returned with words ,
Oh my dear grandchild something you should never forget, the love I feel in my heart for you is more than I could ever express. Sweet dreams my love as I tuck them to bed , and fall into a dreamy  sleep,  as I know come tomorrow I will be woken again by the sound of their tiny two feet. Pitter patter pitter patter