i am tying my best not to
but i do it without trying

you laughed
and the tulips began to bloom
they didn’t care if it was june
or how the constellations moved
for i, the sun, had found my moon
and in my photographic mind
i’d see the timeless dance
we’d find
if you did stay
i’d find new ways
to tell you how much magic
can live within the space
of your warm hands
upon on my face
how every dream
of mine would drip
out from corners of your lips
how constellations in me grew
the moment my bare skin felt you
+Cosmic love songs synched to tunes
of my lost stars that sparked in you
but when you left i swear they
grew and now you
shine through
all i do

no such thing as goodbye
when you are the air i breathe
an eternity of me now will be spent
dancing along your exotic set of words
the ones you nurtured my heart with
the ones that sit behind the darkness
i n  y o u r  e y e s
there is magic in your heartache
there is a garden that grows
in the parts of you
that you have always despised
one that is blooming bright
as the light within you
begins to peek through
the valleys of your losses

i've climbed your walls
and oh, it wasn't easy
i lost my grip every few miles
there are cuts and bruises
lining the scars others left behind
but each time i knew
it was just making me
s t r o n g e r

as i made my way to the top
+ i drank in the view of you
when we finally arrived
t o g e t h e r
it was effortless
wasn't it?
once we arrived
e f f o r t l e s s
to look back down
so quick we were
to fall to the ground
losing grip is easy
saying goodbye isn't

there is a forest
you planted inside of me
and the leaves have fallen
but they still smell like you
and when the wind
blows them off shore
i'll watch as they
dance away

loving you...
was the furthest from a bore
it filled me, it fed me
it clothed me in the tenderness
i've been looking for

but losing you
oh, losing you....
it was how i found a way
to love me more

the whoopsidaisies in life
grow the most vibrant flowers
in your garden of wisdom
and i promise their arrival
will keep you safe

the only way out is through
the jungle in your heart full of
overlooked + unhealed wounds
it is messy in depths where you
and your darkness rendezvous
but there’s a light at the end
of the tunnel and—it’s You

in the space between
any given stimulus
and your response
lies the power to choose
which vibrational route
your destiny pursues

and then there was you
who, without knowing
just knew

be still
with the universe
let your heartbeat sooth
the fallen stars in you

(you)
(move) to
rhythms (my)
(soul) can’t help
but d a n c e
(along)
to

you planted trees down my worries—
grew love in all of the places i was
too afraid to shine
and now a forest grows in all of
the corners your fingers got to know
and magic leaves are dancing to your breeze

someone once told me that curiosity kills the cat
and yeah maybe when you first smiled at me
i wondered where you had been my whole life

and i think that's where we went wrong

just like the nights you spent telling me words
in the way your language speaks them
while i spent all of my belief
on the movement of your mouth
being the key to my soul’s wildest dreams

but magic is made up of tricks

and you sure are the master at making me think the trees from your seeds were real
but lately the plastic leave have melted
from the fire you had rekindled in my heart

but even if the words weren't true
you gave me something bright and new
and i know we all are trying to be
the best versions of these humans beings
so i don't blame you
for being what you came here to be
because really i chose you
to come do these things to my heart
i prayed and hoped my way to manifesting you
to be there when i looked up from my lonely hands

but my god

if only you hadn't come into work that night
if only i hadn’t stumbled to that side of the beach
to that side of the planet
if only i had done one thing differently in my past
maybe just maybe then
i wouldn’t have fallen into the arms of lost hope
and maybe we would have never known
that magic could exist in strangers
that love can be felt at first sight
and everything occurring now
would feel real

but instead
i am walking through some kind of lucid dream
and i can't figure out what my room
used to feel like
because now it looks so unfamiliar to me
just like the person i am

i can't find her

what did you do when i looked up at you
some kind of unkind love spell
i just want to be free...

i want you

but you don't have the room
for someone like me

you’re my favorite feeling

the mountain only grows steeper
so that your roots can dig in deeper

—keep climbing

the
Sun
cannot
  r i s e
without
first

f
  a
l
  l
i
  n
g

and
neither
could
You

when i became the sun
i felt the trees and rivers run
along the deepest parts of me
i sang the oceans roar to sleep

the clouds arrived to give me space
at times the moon would take my place
and i would gladly let her shine
knowing it never could dim mine

no reason to feel jealousy
for everything is one with me
i no longer feared dark at set
for my own light, i can’t forget

my warmth fills me even in snow..
and when it falls, my glimmer glows
the contrast is just what i need
it is the planter of the seeds
to flowering love inside of me

(the)re is
something about the (way) they leave
that recalls (my)soul's eternities
something the (eyes can)not perceive
but is felt in every (hear)t that beats
i feel (you) all ~ c o l l e c t i v e l y

within then depths of my losses
lives a flicker of fleeting fate
where a fire burns
and it spells out your name
when i squint though the haze
i see you dance in the flames
and i think how my cold hands
could use you these days

i reach out to find
the warmth in your blaze
but suddenly it shrinks
and the flames start to fade
still i keep trying
using all of my strength
but the Light
and You
are completely erased

now darkness is growing
at astounding new rates
and i am left alone
filled with unfulfilling fate
so i build myself up
using mantras of praise
for abundance of Love
in me that always stays
no matter who’s near
or who fades far away

i open my eyes up
to peek at the bleak
darkness around me
it’s all my eyes see
  ”but wait”
  —calls out a Light within me
as i feel my heart beat
to the magic in me
it shines with a force
that the sun hasn’t seen
it dances to rhythms
my soul sings on key

soon my cold hands
are warmed by the heat
which flows from the flames
that first flickered in me
the ones i had tamed
just for spelling your name

but i am the warmth
i am all of the flames
what burns inside me
will forever remain

as does the truth
one that i misconstrued
about that great glow
i thought started in you
but you just reflected
the Light that i bloomed
i am the Sun
you just acted my moon

for no thing i see
exists outside of me
the fire is burning
always at my seams
glowing to guide me
and help me to see
alone on the paths
that lead me
back to me