(you)
(move) to
rhythms (my)
(soul) can’t help
but d a n c e
(along)
to

i am not alone you see?
for everything i see is me
the trees, the mountains
and the moss covered trees
without them i would not exist
nothing in this world persists
without you either... just be still
can’t you feel your cells are eager?
knowing just how much you grew
doing all those things you do
at all the perfect moments too
your energy leaves deep imprints
within the grooves of all existence
the fallen leaves can feel your truth
the sky forms colors pink to blues
just as your heart loves to do
the sun seeks darkness
to shine through
all you bloom
the world is
spinning
all for
you

if my heart is an ocean
then my waves are stuck on you
with your words as thick as seaweed
that keep surfacing as i pursue

and as my tide gets high
i feel you find a place to hide
in the depths of all i’ve grown
you are swept away to find a home

but as my tide falls low
your truth comes out from down below
exposing heaviness you left in me
where i find sight to clearly see

that letting go of what could be
is how i finally set me free

you were blue
and i am yellow
you liked the way
i brightened rooms
i thought we could
make a home run true
but no winning evolved
while our garden bloomed
for as my love for you grew
it expanded way beyond you

and it wasn't long
before you knew
exposing your true
shades of gray
when you touched me
but you looked her way
you decided olive green
just didn't look good on you

i have always preferred
green over purple
and you once told me
you felt the same
but that one night
where you both lied
you chose the latter
you took her side

and i’m not sure
if it's because
she appeared shiny red
and i was becoming
a worn out yellow
but it shouldn’t have mattered
because you plucked me first
and you and i both know
that's not what you do
to flowers when you love them
you were supposed to water me
but you showered her instead

and now i am left here
trying to heal the paper cuts
i got from the countless times
i ran in circles trying
to catch your racing heart
but it barely ever
grazed my fingertips
and each time i looked down
to see what was left
of you and me

i was struck in the face
with the sad reality
that we had never even
made it off of home base

we are free to be
whatever we please
whether or not
any others agree

our distinct vibration
shifts all of the nations
and our unique ways
are the cosmic-hydration

with no need for fixation
on anothers’ dictation
we rid ourselves of
any self-love cessation

we explode in our glory
all free from filtration
and use our relations
for human salvation

let us be who we are
embracing each scar
our imperfect nature
keeps us reaching far

releasing self-judgement
with our hearts kept ajar
we can see that our falls
were just crossroads to stars

the whoopsidaisies in life
grow the most vibrant flowers
in your garden of wisdom
and i promise their arrival
will keep you safe

i'm not sure
who planted this seed
inside all of our heads
whispering quietly

”stop feeling so much"

who made the assumption
that feelings = weakness?
because those two terms
have never been seamless

to dip into your depths
with no feelings oppressed
takes the kind of courage
most fear cant be fed

weakness evolves
from putting all of
your energy into
building up
the walls
that block
the flow of life
that was meant
to move you
further into the
depths of the you
you didn’t know
you never knew

to feel
and i mean,
to really feeeel
every ounce of this
human experience
comes with a bravery
that most resist

it breaks you apart
shakes you down
uprooting all
that’s been

to guide you
from within

to let this life
overcome you
with whatever
emotions
it may,
while being
proud of it too?

now, that
is strength

that is the
weakness
pouring
out of
you

(may)be
i have just always
felt (more) comfortable
walking through (chaos)
maybe
it always (lead)s me
back to (me)

oh, but look at what grew

all because of the dirt
that they once threw

you were the kind of hope
that soothes an aching soul
just the sound of your name
makes my bones feel whole

maybe i never got the chance
to tell you

that the kindness you carry
so delicately on your shoulders
and the rooted rhythm of change
you’ve had to learn to dance to
has created waves of hope

maybe i didn’t tell you enough
that the love in your eyes
was exactly what
i didn’t know
i needed to
know

your l o v e
your goodness
a glass overfull

and it has over poured
into a soothing memory
a blanket of comfort
where i can find peace

so i snuggle into the loss
comforted by the knowing
that out there exists someone
as honest, as brave
as soul-shaking
as you

this alone has moved me
deeper into myself
a soothing to my soul
you’ve reflected
e v e r y t h i n g
i needed to see in me
and left me only with
tiny bruises
of what-ifs
the always wondering of
what we could have been

but these growing pains
are mine
i will kiss them
and sometimes
i will cry
i will fall asleep alone
to the rhythm of my own
heartbeat
to the peace of knowing
what comes
must sometimes go
___

the world keeps spinning
let it take what it must
to make room for
what will
b l o o m
with even more beauty
than any life experience
has yet to do

embrace all that has left you
stretch out in this new space
of self discovery
keep hope & be eager
for all that’s yet to
u n f o l d

infinite possibilities lie within your frame
and even if people don't show it enough

i hope you know
you are so much more
than what you have lost
so much more
than those who have
walked the other way
specific to the reason why
you shine brightest today

you see clearer now
because things once didn't go your way
how you decide to picture your life to be
won’t always end up being what you need
so surrender to what you now see
and let your highest self take lead
this life is a gift
so let it be

if you can just focus on the love
that is within you and around you
and trust that you’re guided from above
you’ll see that darkness wakes your light
that your falls are where you find insight
sit in this understanding
breathe it in
feel your magic come to life
see the world shifting in your eyes
hear your laughter in the sun’s shine
all of reality begins in your mind

and as you continue to align
don’t get caught up in all the “why’s?”
confusion is the doorway to new sight
it shows you where your greatness shines
and the less you fear peeking inside
the more you can see
that deep in your being
is where all your answers
will ever hide

when (i) became the sun
i felt the trees and rivers (run)
(along) the deepest parts of me
i sang (the) oceans roar to sleep

the (clouds) arrived to give me space
at times, the moon would take (my) place
and i would gladly let her (shine)
knowing it (never) could dim mine

no reas(on) to feel jealousy
for everything is (one) with me
i no longer (fear)ed dark at set
for my own (light) i can’t forget

my warmth (fills me) even in snow
and (when) it falls, my glimmer glows
the contrast~it’s just what (i) need
it is the (plant)er of the seeds
~to (the) f l o w e r i n g
(love inside) of me~


(i run along the clouds
my shine never on one fear
light fills me when
i plant the love
inside)

—sun  stories

and then there was you
who, without knowing
just knew

i am here in my head
yet my Soul it still sleeps
in a mossy seabed
waking up each new morning
with dew covered hands
wrapped in cold mists of leftover
words in the sand
rubbing waves from my eyes
gazing up at the sky
asking for reasons why
time for us won't comply

why i grew Love in hues of
his foreign blue high
how i sang him hello
just to swallow goodbye
why i still feel the pull of
his ocean-filled eyes
how his lips drown my mind
in sweet saltwater tides

until deep down a voice speaks -
the smallest of kinds -
with a thought that's so subtle
it might pass me by
"this is as deep as it grows"
magic like this can’t be owned
"this is only a dream"
i must wake up and go
trust it's all for my growth

maybe next time i will not
make shorelines my home
i'll look inward for more
heal mySelf when i’m sore
realize all is reflecting
my own reservoir

Love can feel like a war
each time bickering more
but it's fighting to prove
i am all i look for

life really is sunshine and rainbows
if you wake up and choose to see it
even in the clouds hanging over our heads
and beneath all of the lonely in our beds
there is light that softy shines ahead

and it is constant

with a kaleidoscope
of colors that blossom
from pain once endured
and sunshine that follows
with just the kind of warm
that you never even knew
you’d been searching for

and eventually, when it pours
you’ll start asking for more
because you’ll feel that the growth
is worth all that you came here for

and when your heart breaks
you’ll laugh
because it always
  always
    always
grows right back
with more reason to beat
and more clarity to see

do you know what i mean?
everything has magic at its seams

you are the moment you are experiencing
and it is perfect

so sit back and enjoy the dream...

all is occurring
to help guide you on your way
as you journey through your path
toward your dream life estates
it won’t always look just like
you had pictured it at first
but the harder that it gets
the more you’re cosmically-versed
just know this moment’s perfect
every fall will become worth it
the Universe can hear your Love
it’s guiding you from up above
so please just trust in the Divine
knowing that you’re right on time
even when darkness pays a visit
it brings so many lessons with it
leaving you much more aligned
with iridescent Light to shine

life really is
sunshine and rainbows
if you choose to see it

even in the dark clouds
that hang over our heads
and the lonely in our beds
there is light that softly
shines ahead

and it is constant

with kaleidoscopic colors
that blossom from the pain
your soul once led
the sunshine that follows
is the blanket of warmth
that you never even knew
you’d been yearning for

and eventually
when it pours
you’ll start asking for more
because you know that the growth
is what you came here for

and when your heart breaks
watch it shine from the cracks
glowing ~without waver~
as you mend yourself back

with more reason .to be.
and more clarity to see

you are all that you need

you are the moment you are
e x p e r i e n c i n g
and it is perfect
sit back and

enjoy the dream

stretches of time
miles of missing

what does your voice
sound like, again?

you're not here
to answer all my
rhetorical thoughts

so i ask myself;
is this what
longing feels like?

there are still
parts of you

d r i f t i n g
  a  w  a  y

i try to catch them
on my better days
but the sun in my eyes
sets sparks to my soul
and the darkness
fades away
with you

and so i’m left
wondering

alone
again

y e a r n i n g
r e a c h i n g

but for what?

•  •  •  •  

i find my breath
and i find myself

i breathe in
this moment

remembering

this
is all
i need

this
is all
that
exists

i can't escape you in my head
with worried words you always said
the ones about us not foreseeing
what this Love could end up being
today i felt you as i woke
the Sun it shined on words revoked

the poems they just come to me
flowing from this heart that beats
the one you opened up for me
and now my head is stuck at sea
hooked on all the Love we'd be
i can't forget your humble might
you had the light when i lost sight
you shined upon my darkest nights
but now we're far apart in time

oh tell me that you think of me
when happy couples dance and sing
and kiss out on the wooden floor
the one where you struck me with more
more Love than i had known before
more Heart than any Soul had worn
it is that moment i adore
i'd give it endless more encores

i swear i'll find my way back to you
i'll travel far and wide to do
those things you promised me, i knew
one day i'd fly away for you
i'll leave this country and all i see
if only it means You and Me
the Magic we had felt will be
eternal and our losses we
had carried heavy will all flee
as you join them there with me
we'll bury them in Sand of We

Love from a place of fufillment
never love to quench a lonely thirst
let your seams seep Self-alignment
from filling up your soul-needs first

externally so much noise can exist
but you have the power to quiet it
by making space for self-awareness
its expansion is your assignment

don’t let this world distract you
from the Worth that You Shine with
all that you ever seek for isn’t lost but
deep down inside—always it thrives
and like gravity, it keeps tugging
at your Soul to Arrive

tell me
who drew you in 
and made you think
the bones and joints
within your knees
the veins and nerves
mapping out your entire being
were not already complete?

who made you see
through their broken glass
who made you think
it was okay not to ask
to ask you how
it made you feel 
when they realized
they weren't going to be real
to you or to your swollen heart

you were just so beautiful to see
they just couldn't let you be
and when they fed you their falsities
they made you think you had to stay
as if half of you had gone away

when in truth—you were noting short of gold

and you should have been told
the one thing they couldn't be
was everything they knew
you needed them to be

and when this realization hits
they don't even have the heart to admit
you were everything they wanted
but couldn't be

so they just had to taste it 
they had to feel your breeze
and they take and they take
and then they leave...

but darling don't you fret

for they will never forget
the love they found in you
the love you still hold true
the love that's grown too

you needed them to help you through
so now you see that the best part of life
has always been about loving you

if i am the ocean
than you are the sea
caressing the sand
where my waves
become free

i may hold onto
depths of what
we could be
but i know now
you’re willing to
hold space for me

in ways we are different
but much more, the same
to see us as separate
would be such a shame

for so long
i thought my waves
couldn’t be claimed
but then we collided
and still, you remained

through all of the storms
you washed pain off of me
and each of my tears
brought you closer to me

and now i don’t drown
in the rain of my doubts
as we dance to our love
we no longer renounce

the wind is blowing
but the world is still
when you laugh
the hurt in my heart
grows flowers in the cracks
I can feel you try to mend me
as I re-write the memories
but it is your sweet nectar
that keeps sticking to me
as I endlessly try to
wash myself clean
of all I was tied to

and I look back at those places
that once felt like safe spaces
and I feel weak in the knees
for not being brave enough
to open my eyes and see
that you never were
what you promised you'd be
I had made up this story
told it so well

and dressed it up in me

and now that you're gone
I spend my nights
un.dressing the ache
of the never-ending
echo of the child
I never got to name

yet for you,
it's nothing more than a story
an "almost, what-if, thank-goodness"
kinda thing

and that is why
it is always the mother
who carries the weight
who has to bleed

a power I have embodied the best
ever since you decided to leave

keep your Love
close to mine
this world does not
define your kind
i'll stick by you
through all you do
even when your
heart is strewn
i'll paint your worries
with my mind
replace your broken
parts with mine
your light
it guides me
so i shine, unrefined
we intertwine
through all time
you'll never find me
far behind . . .

i am sleepwalking through
this clouded view of truth
and my soul is heavy
with your need to escape
all those noises they grew
so your voices would fade
the clouds are turning gray
and begin pouring fate
the rain wants to stay
but the sun finds a way
as they grow familiar
with the rivers and waves
i have formed in the desert
with the tears that i taste
from the suffering you face
and i want to erase
all the pain that remains
so that look on your face
can be lifted some day
as we all have the power
to shine light your way
and use our own privilege
to create worlds of change

whether it was
the unwavering yearning
or the heights my heart insisted
there was a sense of hope there
that only grew with distance

i spent so long
making mountains
with my inability
to trust

creating dust
with my worries
as i grew tired
of chasing
broken promises
and tasting
the bitter
in the never
of forevers

just so you
would have to climb
to my new heights
of broken life
and find my love
more worth the fight

and as we spent
less time alone
i found that broken
made quite the home

the universe in me
made sense
my worries felt
much less intense

you held my hopes
in your warm hands
and i grew trust
where i once ran

and in the midst
of all of this
i felt secure
in all those hits
my heart
once bared

for every tear
had led you there
to clear the air
for us to share
the taste of honey
in my despair

you planted trees down my worries
and grew love in all of the places i was too afraid to shine
and now a forest grows in all of the corners your fingers got to know
and wonder dances through the leaves to your magic breeze

but someone once told me that curiosity killed the cat
and yeah maybe when you smiled at me that first time
i wondered where you had been my whole life
and i think that's where we went wrong
just like the nights you spent telling me words
in the way your language speaks them
and i spent my hopes and dreams on them
i could see them being the key to all my wants and needs

but magic is made up of tricks
and you sure are the master
at making me believe the trees were real
but lately the plastic leaves have melted from the fire
you rekindled in my heart
and even if the words weren't true
you gave me something bright and new

i know we all are trying to be the best humans we can possibly be
so i don't blame you for leaving what you breathed into me
because really, i chose you to come do these things to my heart
i prayed and hoped and i manifested you to be there
when i looked up from my lonely hands

if only you hadn't come into work that night
if only i hadn’t stumbled to that side of the beach
to that side of the world
if only i had done something differently in my past
then maybe, just maybe then
i wouldn’t have fallen into the arms of lost hope
and maybe we would have never known
that magic could exist in strangers
maybe everything occurring now would feel real

but instead i am walking through some kind of lucid dream
and i can't figure out what my room used to feel like
because now it just looks so unfamiliar to me
like the person i am

i can't find her

what did you do when i looked up at you? some kind of spell..
i am ready to be free

i want you

but you don't have room left for someone like me

the mountain only grows steeper
so that your roots can dig in deeper

—keep climbing