every night before I sleep
I pray I won’t see you again in my dreams
every time, you scratch open the wound in my back
and I’m so tired seeing you like that
why can’t I remember the days when you made me alive?
you were the only one who knew me and a part of me died
maybe all of me died when you threw me away
like the trash in the corner you’ve been ignoring all day
I hate that you treated me like that, even more that you still are
I hate that my mind tries to tell me who you are
I know that’s not you, the one I see in my sleep
I know you're not the monster I see in my dreams
please, I can’t watch you slash open the scar on my skin
because you’ve hurt me too much to hurt me again
I know that’s not you; but if it is, then who am I,
but the trash you forgot to take outside?
because you killed me and bagged me and threw me away
I was the trash that you left on the corner that day
and it's black and it stinks and I'm covered in ****
and I thought that you loved me more than this
I've tried and I've tried to push these thoughts out
and trust me, I'm trying to stop dreaming so loud
and I hate when I try to convince myself that's what you're like
but I hate it even more when I'm ******* right