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31.9k · Feb 2015
Charcoal
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
A lump of coal
Tossed into the fire
Before it even stood a chance
Of becoming a diamond

And all it needed was time
31.2k · Nov 2014
Snowflake Love
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
I've always hated winter
But the beauty of this snowfall
Made me love this winter wonderland
19.5k · Feb 2015
Goodnight (15w)
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
I realized when I'm drifting to sleep
You are the majority of my last thoughts
Was drifting to sleep but woke up when I imagined I heard your voice...
15.9k · Dec 2014
Fuck!
Ashley Nicole Dec 2014
I scream until my throat aches and ignites.
I scream until my face flushes.
I've been screaming all day,
But nobody has heard me.
15.3k · May 2015
Fuck You Bitch: A Haiku
Ashley Nicole May 2015
I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF
AND I'LL **** STRAIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT
YOU DUMB ******* *****
Dear ***** that has no respect for relationships, this is for you.
14.4k · Nov 2015
Bloody Ballerina Slippers
Ashley Nicole Nov 2015
We are all ballerinas
Tying our broken, battered toes
Into pretty, pink satin slippers
its all about hiding and pretending it doesn't hurt
13.2k · Nov 2014
Seduced Soul
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Kiss your lips
And inhale laughter,
Oh god, the way
Your mouth curls,
Eyes become
Gentle slits,
And the bending
Of your brow
Insists on
Intimacy,
Every ounce
Of my soul
Says, "Yes,
Please."
9.3k · Oct 2014
Fuck You
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
Your voice got louder
My words were hissed
I should've known
You would get ******

Adrenaline balled up
In the palm of my fist
I simply can't take
Much more of this

I knew it from the start
That this wouldn't last
Now I just want out
Real ******' fast

You're so **** controlling
Your tight hold on the reins
I really ******' hate you
I feel it in my veins

Don't accuse me of ****
That I didn't do
But I don't argue anymore
You won't see my view

I broke away from your hold
You don't control me
I can do what I want
I'm finally free
9.0k · Jul 2015
Sexual Harassment 101
Ashley Nicole Jul 2015
I was on my way to a party
Dressed in heels and a crop top
When I entered the corner store
To purchase some snacks
And on my way to the cashier
A man standing in an aisle
Browsing through peanuts
Glanced up and stopped mid-search
When I clicked past him
And proceeded to uncomfortably stare

I walked into the gas station
Wearing dark wash jeans and a v-neck
With my best friend at 2 AM
When two drunken men stumbled in
And began eyeing us up and smirking
My friend leaned in to me and whispered,
     "I'm really scared."
Overhearing her, one man elbowed the other
And with a smile on his face taunted,
          "Oh no, we're scaring them."

I was at the laundry mat one night
Wearing shorts and a baggy shirt
When a middle aged man across the room
Kept gawking at me from over the washers
Uneasy, I went outside to smoke
To which he stood at the window
And kept a close eye on me
I called a friend and stayed on the phone
Because I was afraid to go back
And get my clothes alone

I stepped out of my vehicle
In my sweatpants and flipflops
To grab some cigarettes quick
When a white bearded man
Was already at my heels
"Hey, how're you honey?"
I quickly replied, "fine".
And hurried into the store
Without looking back

It seems like every time I leave the house
It doesn't matter what I'm wearing
It could be "provocative" or a burlap sack
I always end up feeling threatened
     Heartbeat in my ears
          Cold sweat on my back
So don't blame it on my outfit
Don't blame it on my actions
Because I'm not asking for it
I just want to be left alone
It's not right that I fear for my own safety because animalistic people can't control themselves and act right.

I'm going to have to invest in pocket mace.

I wish I didn't have to.
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
There you go judging.
Thought that was your god's job.
Sick of people of faith who claim to love but only hate
7.5k · Sep 2015
Lighthouse
Ashley Nicole Sep 2015
You are the lighthouse of my life
And my heart was a ship lost at sea
Sailing upon crashing waves
Threatening to capsize
6.6k · Feb 2015
Mistakes
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
You can try to erase it
But there's always a ghost line
Left on the page
Regrets, man
6.4k · Nov 2014
Tsunami
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Beneath the surface
Of the dark and mysterious
Ocean crests
There's a disturbance
On the ocean floor

Chaos brews and
My bones quiver
As the wave
Towers overhead
Taunting me

Waves crush my chest
Screams fill my lungs
And salty water
Burns my eyes
I'm whisked away...

Oh God, not again
Just another night
Curled on the floor
Crying oceans
And creating tsunamis
Those nights I can't sleep
6.1k · Dec 2014
To Those Named "Ashley"
Ashley Nicole Dec 2014
Dear Ashley,

          Congratulations! Your parents decided to give you one of the most popular names of the 90s! This is your letter of introduction to being Ashley! However, be informed that your name will not only be just "Ashley". Since it's very common, non-Ashleys will need to differentiate between all of you. You may be nicknamed "Ashley #2" or "Ashley Last Name Initial". Preparing yourself for embarrassment is also essential. Instructors will call out your name, resulting in either you pointing to yourself mouthing, Me? or managing to chirp a "Yes?" in unison with three others, only to feel stupid when it's not you. With a name so stale and boring, you may grow a hatred for it. You will fall in love with unique signatures, wishing they were your own. Over and over again, you will fantasize about changing it. Keep in mind that other Ashleys feel the same. At least you can be thankful you weren't named Frances.

                                                       ­                                   Sincerely,
                   ­                                                                 ­              Ashley

P.S. - Although, personalized key chains are easily accessible!
5.5k · Oct 2014
Midnight Drive
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
Windows down
Cold, brisk night
All worries aside
No other car in sight

These roads are all mine
To venture and explore
While the beat of the music
Makes my heart soar

And I’ll keep driving
Until that needle hits “E”
Because sometimes a drive
Is all you really need

It all makes me think
That it’s amazing a drive
Despite the simplicity
Could make me feel so alive
Driving is my therapy.
5.5k · Dec 2014
A Rock And a Hard Place
Ashley Nicole Dec 2014
Stuck between
Not wanting to exist
But not exactly wanting to die
5.3k · Nov 2014
Naked
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
These clothes, they hide
These clothes, conceal
And when these clothes slide off
There's nothing left to reveal

Unhooked clasps
Undone buttons
Just unwrap this body
'Til absolutely nothin'

My raw self for
Only you to view
Removing this fabric
Is saying that I trust you
4.6k · Apr 2016
The Little Bookworm
Ashley Nicole Apr 2016
She carefully creased the corners,
Bookmarking her favorite parts.
Because the words on those pages
Seemed to touch her heart.
Aniya lent me a book and I noticed she does what I do
4.2k · Jan 2015
Day of Rest
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
If I did it tonight,
I could rest on Sunday
Forever.
4.1k · Oct 2014
Numb
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
Pained to the point of marble
   Now a cold statue
      You pray for a chisel
When pain enters the stage of numbness
4.0k · Nov 2014
Kissing Death
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Lipstick stains
On my cigarette filter
Come here, Death
Let me kiss your cheek
3.5k · Mar 2015
By Michelangelo's Hands
Ashley Nicole Mar 2015
And for the first time
Someone made me feel as beautiful
As chiseled Renaissance marble
I'm ******.
3.1k · Feb 2016
Sovereignty of the Somber
Ashley Nicole Feb 2016
Children of the Moon!
Abandon your worn shoes
And frolic freely, barefoot
In Her midnight light;

Let down your lovely locks
And bare your ashen skin
To allow Her celestial lips
Kiss your collar bones;

Let Her blanket of shadows
Drape over your shoulders,
While She crowns you with
A headdress of night diamonds.
Nighttime is when the battered souls unveil themselves
and the Moon welcomes them with open arms.

Wrote this while listening to
Bravado by Lorde on loop.
2.7k · Mar 2015
Thanatophobia
Ashley Nicole Mar 2015
You know you're happy with life
When you finally fear death
Happy days
2.6k · Jan 2015
Road Signs
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
Moving from apartment to apartment,
looking for a place to call home after the divorce.
Kept away from our own father by a relentless mother.
No visits. No phone calls.
He loved my sister and I with all his heart
and when months passed by and he still hadn't seen or heard from his girls, he brought Hell to mom's door step.
Pounding and yelling,
demanding to just see his daughters,
mom picked up the phone and called the law to remove him.
The only way dad could tell us he loved us
was through a cardboard sign he put up on the side of the road
so when we would ride the bus to school in the morning,
we would see it.
The moment I saw the sign, I knew it was from him.
His messy, all caps script wrote,

I LOVE YOU GIRLS.
- DAD


And I remember pressing my face to the bus window
to get a good look at it.
And I remember how my chest swelled with happiness.
Dad had to let us know he loved us.
And if that was through a makeshift sign on the side of the road,
so be it.
My dad is the most selfless, loving person I know.
And I love him to death.
2.4k · May 2016
Death Isn't Scary
Ashley Nicole May 2016
Death has no prejudices. No favorites.
It doesn’t care if you’re young or old, rich or poor.
Death is inevitable, whether or not you’re ready for it.

But once you're dead, what's it like?

It’s like you’re never really in one place, rather everywhere all at once. Like your conscience has been sprinkled throughout the world like grains of sand and your breath is part of the wind.
Your voice is now the rustling of the trees and your blood is rushing water in the rivers. You’re no longer confined to a vessel and you feel like you’ve never actually felt completely free until now.
Your energy that was manifested in your body is now recycled back into Earth. There’s an immense sense of belonging and contentment, like you’re comfortably numb.

There is no sense of time.
The years, days, hours, minutes, seconds; mean nothing.

When you’re young, you feel indestructible. You feel immortal.
There’s always a tomorrow because the sun is promised to rise the next day. It’s hard to imagine a day that you won’t exist anymore.
It’s easy to take things for granted. Sometimes it’s hard for people to realize how fragile human beings really are.
It doesn’t take much for our soul to be ripped from our bodies.
Not much at all.
These are some excerpts from a paper that I had to write for my Death&Dying; college course this semester. We had to write about how our own death. After reading my paper, my professor wrote something very special to me on the last page. She told me that it was the best paper she had read and she absolutely hoped that I was pursuing a career in writing. As an aspiring writer, this meant SO much to me.
2.3k · Oct 2014
Fragile
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
I heard their
Hearts breaking
Like fine China
On hardwood floor
These hearts are too pure
To be in left in pieces
To my friends suffering heart ache...
They don't deserve to be hurting like they are.
2.3k · Oct 2014
Demons
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
Never truly gone
Always lurking
In the dark corners
Of my conscience
The unseen tormentor
Holds me hostage
In my own mind
I'm betrayed by my own self

          Turn it off...
              Turn it off...
                   Turn it off!

It spits words
Of hate and anger
Completely relentless
And vile -- there's no escape
Impossible to hold your ears
And not listen
When the insults are coming
From your own head
Just when I thought I had my emotions in check...
2.2k · Feb 2015
Anniversary Card
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
Tucked away in my purse
Is the card you presented to me
On our one year anniversary
Inside you wrote,
"It's crummy for now,
but will get better. I love you."
I know what you meant,
That school and work
Had interfered with our time together,
That after you get that degree
Our once or twice a week visits
Will become a memory.
But that's not why
I'm carrying around this
Anniversary card.
I want to believe that
Everything else crummy
Will get better too,
No matter how much I doubt it.
I try to keep this card close
And hang on to the hope
Penned by your hand.
Finally posting this draft from January.
2.2k · Jun 2015
Deep Sea Diving
Ashley Nicole Jun 2015
I want to take a dive in to your psyche
Tread past every memory and thought
Ride the tides of your emotions
And every tsunami you've ever sought

I want to take a deep breath and immerse,
Propel myself to your ocean floor
Where the darkness and the unknown
Has always existed but was never explored
I want to pick your brain.
Ashley Nicole Dec 2014
"Are you left handed?"
          I'm writing with it, aren't I?

"Oh my god, how do you do that?"
          The same way you write with your right hand.

"You must be super creative."
          Yeah, sure.

"Your hand writing is pretty good for being left handed."
          It still smears.

Painfully watching people attempt to write left handed.

Good luck writing in ink! Even worse than pencil.
The struggle is real.
2.1k · Nov 2014
Skin (10w)
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Run your hands
Over my body
Leave no cell untouched
2.0k · Dec 2015
The Divorce
Ashley Nicole Dec 2015
A crack trailed down
The center of my heart
When I saw my dad cry
As his world fell apart

I remember him sitting
On the living room floor
Crying as his wife told him
He can't see his kids anymore

I got down beside him
And hugged him so tight
Wishing that I could make
Every thing right

But mommy was leaving
And taking us along
So he told us he loved us
And said to be strong
I was nine years when my mom decided she didn't love him anymore and took my sister and I away, where we wouldn't see him for the next 9 months. We missed him so much. Although he let us know he was loving us every day, which I explained in a poem I wrote a long time ago called Road Signs.

My sister and I had always been daddy's girls so being torn away from our dad was absolute Hell. It wouldn't be until years down the road we would end up back in the house we grew up in.

Almost 6 years after, we're still under the same roof as him, and are happier than we've ever been.
2.0k · Feb 2015
Forgive and Forget
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
Every time you've ever ****** up, you'd sing your anthem to me.

Forgive and forget.
     Forgive and forget.


**** forgive and forget.

Forgiveness was never something you deserved.
Not when you've drug someone through Hell and back
Time and time again, never stopping to think about
Anyone else but yourself.
Hurting those around you constantly.
Always saying that you'd change, but we all knew better.
You would use that quote to your advantage
To win back the hearts of those you used and manipulated.

No.
You don't deserve forgiveness.

And to forget? HA! I refuse.
Doing so would only allow myself to never learn.
To never stop making the same mistake of giving you second chances
That you will never deserve.
I won't be prisoner to this constant state of denial that every thing is okay.

I know what you've done.
And it's not okay.

So have a good ******* life, you *******.
This one is about my first real boyfriend who ended up being a real *******.
1.8k · Nov 2014
Hickey (10w)
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Leave a mark
So I know I wasn't just dreaming
1.8k · Jan 2015
Love Bites
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
The only bruise he should ever leave on you
Is a hickey
1.8k · Apr 2015
Desolate
Ashley Nicole Apr 2015
My heart, a hospice house
For all my hopes and dreams
My mind, a prison
Where thoughts shake their shackles
My eyes, are windows
With curtains always drawn
1.8k · Nov 2015
Vanity
Ashley Nicole Nov 2015
Rosy cheeks, enticing lips
Lashes as black as sin
But really, your true beauty
Can only be found within
Your beauty doesn't wash off with soap and water.
1.8k · Oct 2014
Bliss
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
Entangled bodies
Entangled hearts
When it's all over
It's my favorite part
afterwards cuddling
1.7k · Mar 2015
Is It That Obvious? (10w)
Ashley Nicole Mar 2015
"You are in love. People in love smile like that."
I work in a personal care facility and one of the women I was taking care of Sunday night looked at me and said this. She couldn't be more right.

Update: She passed away this past summer. I'll always remember her sweet words and beautiful sense of humor. Rest easy, sweets.
1.7k · Nov 2014
Harvest Moon (10w)
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
Tonight, the moon and my eyes
Share the same color
1.7k · Oct 2014
Autumn
Ashley Nicole Oct 2014
The leaves
Make death
Look beautiful
1.7k · Jun 2015
Unanswered Calls
Ashley Nicole Jun 2015
We remain disconnected,
Like I'm calling on the phone
But always just getting a busy signal.
I've tried getting close to you,
but it's like there's a wall there.
Don't lock me out.
Let me in.
1.6k · Nov 2014
Sea of Smoke
Ashley Nicole Nov 2014
The smoke from our lungs
And incense that'd reduced to ashes
Drowned the room neck-high
With feathery, bleary tides.
My breathe stolen from
The pipe filled with cremated *****,
Collapsed my lungs, forcing them
To shrivel up like raisins.
Perhaps if I were to swim up,
Emerge through the waves,
I'd inhale a gasp of air
Then bob gently on the surface.
I'd set sail on my back
And let the opaque waters
Cradle me, rock me tenderly
And whisper cajoleries in my ear.
But at this moment, I'm ******
And like a stone
On the ocean floor,
I'll stay submerged.
So instead, I'll just watch
The light fixture's radiance
Dance along the surface
Of these smokey seas.
As if the sun's rays
Could reach down
And bless this
Basement.
1.6k · Oct 2015
Evil Cannot Cross
Ashley Nicole Oct 2015
I poured salt at the doorways of my mind
In attempts to keep the demons out
Trying to be a lot more optimistic lately. So far my mood has definitely improved.
1.5k · Feb 2015
Hopeless Romantics Anonymous
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
Hi, my name's Ashley. And I'm a hopeless romantic.

     "Hi, Ashley."

     I've been a hopeless romantic for as long as I can remember. I guess it all started with doodle hearts on the margins of school notes, which honestly, has ended up spiraling out of control. It really has been a struggle. I grew up believing in happily ever afters. I peer out from behind heart shaped glasses, dreaming up fairy tale scenarios on the daily. Believing that chivalry still lives on, or at least hoping it does somewhere. My heart aches when affections aren't returned. My soul is restless and passionate. I've been desperately hanging on the belief that love always prevails. My concept of life just isn't realistic anymore and when it falls short of my expectations, I feel like I'm being let down... over and over and over again.

     *"We're here for you, Ashley."
1.5k · Nov 2015
Love and Loathe (10 w)
Ashley Nicole Nov 2015
It is so much easier to love you
Than myself
I don't exactly believe in that saying that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. You can love someone with every ounce of your soul and still look in the mirror and loathe yourself.
1.4k · Jan 2015
Unwilling (10w)
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
I didn't say no, but my silence
Didn't say yes.
*******.
1.4k · Feb 2015
Atomic Number 83
Ashley Nicole Feb 2015
He palmed me a bismuth,

*You remind me of this crystal.
You're not flashy but you're beautiful.
Underlying beauty
1.4k · Jan 2015
Mythical
Ashley Nicole Jan 2015
Just as the Greek Gods in Olympus
Sometimes chased the heels of mortals
I wonder why someone as godly as you
Chose a sorry soul like me
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