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458 · Apr 2016
To church with her
Ana S Apr 2016
Short stories 1

  I sat there in the church staring at the ground. My breath was shaky and I was nervous. She sat beside me. Her eyes stared attentively toward the preacher. She told me God would help me. I told her that she helped me and made me want to live everyday. She had shown me life and shown me pain. Both sides of perfection and imperfection.
A short story
457 · May 2016
Hand prints
Ana S May 2016
A hand touched my shoulder...
Are you here for the art thing?
What art thing?
You shall see...
Now
I
Would
Like
To
Pause.
When you have no clue what you are doing.
Why you are there.
When you got there.
How you got there.
That is strange.
Now
We
Resume.
This girl touched my shoulder.
We exchanged words.
Then I woke up.
457 · Apr 2016
Justin...
Ana S Apr 2016
God, that name hasn't killed me yet.
It just screams out regret.
I trusted you with everything.
And I obviously never meant a thing.
You helped me find myself.
Then you acted like somebody else.
You took away your pain.
You bowed down in shame.
You smoked and began to fly.
Fly higher than the sky.
Rarely were your eyes not glassy.
I though this whole mess was you being classy.
And to think I called you a brother.
Why even bother.
You were there when nobody else was.
Then you found a new buddy...
Drugs
To my an old friend who works at McDonald's
456 · Jan 2016
Alone here as I fall
Ana S Jan 2016
Alone, locked in the night.
Alone, here where there's never any light.
Hear me scream.
See me lean.
Over the edge I fall.
Lifeless like a doll.
Gravity pushes me down.
Then bam I hit the ground.
456 · Feb 2017
Lunch thoughts
Ana S Feb 2017
I sit alone at lunch forcing myself to eat.
I know I have to eat.
If I don't keep food in my system I'll continue my downward slide.
Exhaustion
Pain
More exhaustion
More pain
Atleast the testing has begun.
They've already ruled out all minor things.
So from here forward I get to be poked again and again.
451 · May 2016
Where did it go
Ana S May 2016
You are gone.
I was so little.
You left me on the streets.
You taught me to never trust humans.
I am a stray dog.
Wandering aimlessly.
My mom abandoned me as a puppy.
Thought pitbulls were ugly.
To everyone who ever abandoned their dog...
A big old duck you!
Sad
446 · Apr 2016
A dream
Ana S Apr 2016
Such a vivid dream.
She walked up and wrapped her arms around me.
I remembered the way it felt when she's hold me close.
I guess I sorta miss it.
Last night I had a dream.

Such a vivid dream.
It was about her.
I miss her and wish she was here.
She made the choices she did.
I loved her a lot.
But now we are nothing but a past.

Such a vivid dream.
We sat in the grass at mendive.
We walked around the halls at the boys and girls club.
Over to the kids side.
I remember the staff would get mad.
Yes I do miss what we had.
446 · Jun 2016
I miss her
Ana S Jun 2016
Summer feels like forever.
Not getting to see friends everyday.
Some friends even in different states.
I miss her.
I miss my friend.
We don't talk as much.
She's super busy.
I'm busy too.
Almost always sleeping.
Summer is a drag.
443 · Jul 2016
Anxiety
Ana S Jul 2016
My hands shake.
My voice breaks.
Sweat beginning to run down my head.
Starting to wish i was dead.
Talking to you is the scariest yet best thing.
But it exposes my doubts.
What if I'm not good enough?
What if she hates me?
We are friends right?
She's just been different lately.
I'm sorry I get this way.
It happens almost every day.
It's mostly because of anxiety.
Understand me please
440 · Apr 2016
I want to run
Ana S Apr 2016
I run away from the things that scare me.
I run away from the people who try to help me.
I can't help it.
My whole life I have lived fearing people.
It all just takes time.
Until then I run.
Run away from the things I have no control over.
Run away from the things that could save me.
I run.
But now I'm tired.
So I sit down.
You walk up and sit next to me.
You teach me how to walk.
Tell me it's time to stop running.
I've found the someone I can't run from.
She is here with me.
A friend.
she stayed in the long run.
Running... Running.... Running
438 · Apr 2016
I broke a promise
Ana S Apr 2016
I didn't mean to snap
I'm sorry
I made u upset
I hurt you
I made a promise
But then the silver screamed
It was only a little one
How bad could it be
I know it was the last
I try
I sorry
438 · Apr 2016
I miss her.
Ana S Apr 2016
She went on a trip.
Away in the state.
She went on a trip.
Away from contact.
I wait til she's online.
Then I message her.
I feel quite annoying.
I just really miss her.
I miss her a lot.
She is one of the only people I talk to.
Now what do I do?
She's not here.
Emily I miss you.
I want to know how it was.
It looks like you had fun.
Whenever you get the time let me know.
I really miss you just letting you know.
437 · May 2016
Why the hell am I blank
Ana S May 2016
It's been all for her.
I don't even know how it came to be.
How I even became so close to melody.
Today was different.
Can't decide if it was good or bad.
Today we kissed and I wonder if we should had.
In the bathroom hidden.
Her eyes stared into mine.
What would you do if I kissed you?
She whispered staring.
I smiled gently.
I'd let you Mel.
Then it happened.
Her lips locked with mine.
It was heaven but still I was terrified.
I hadn't kissed anyone for a year.
Anyone but Chae.
What if I ****** up?
What if...
Mel isn't Chae.
I was dazed.
She held me close after and I wrapped my arms around her.
She made everything okay.
I just wanted to stay there with her.
I wanted to kiss her again.
And again.
Instead I walked her back to class.
A different girl had walked in.
I want to be with melody.
I don't know what to do.
A day...
437 · Jun 2016
When everything lines up
Ana S Jun 2016
Everything makes sense.
Everything has been leading me to this moment.
Everything has been pushing me towards her.
The ups and downs.
Emotional breakdowns.
The break ups.
The first time I saw her stars lines up.
They pointed me straight to this girl.
I disregarded it.
Now I see.
I see what you were doing.
436 · Mar 2016
Three cheers to dying alone
Ana S Mar 2016
It all started with a window.
One in which showed me to the rainbow.
I shoved it open.
After of corse removing the nail.
Now listen carefully to my tale.
A girl left me broken long ago.
And that's why I relied on the window.
She chose drugs over me.
Here eyes so glassy she could barely see.
Shutting so much out with the slam of a door.
Never enough always needing more.
Guess that's what it is like being addicted.
Never getting your fix is that it?
She blew all her money.
Never had time for me.
But that's fine.
Just a **** waste of time.
Three cheers to dying alone.
Guess that I'm finally on my own.
Three cheers to dying alone!
436 · Feb 2017
Alive and fighting
Ana S Feb 2017
Fear... fear you have layen upon my body.
Fear... fear you have forced into hers.
Breaths... breaths you've taken away.
Made harder to breath.
You've brought a sickness over me.
I lay in this room secluded unable to force myself to get up.
Three days straight I've layen here.
Sick with this awful sickness.
Unable to move.
Today I got up though.
Today I found strength enough to remove myself from the room and eat something.
All thanks to a man.
He wished me the best and shared his story with me.
He told me believing you can fight is the hardest part and that I am strong.
I am strong.
I can get past whatever this world throws at me.
I will not let it bring me down.
433 · May 2016
A pass from class
Ana S May 2016
Leaving for some random reason.
Excuse me miss, but I left my thing there.
Be quick.
Yes mam'm.
When I get into the hall I wait for her.
The sweet face of a girl with blue hair.  
We walk to wherever we are going.
Today it was the bathroom and RO.
We talk and laugh.
Hug.
She wraps her arms around me.
Somehow I can sorta tell when she wants to.
Creating some reason to.
It's wierd because she still asks.
Softly, can I hug you?
Yes of course love! No need to ask...
By her asking I wonder...
Who made you think you needed to ask to hug someone?
Love I don't mind when you hug me.
I may even like it more than you do.
Your touch is crazy.
The feeling it sends through me.
When you stare into my eyes...
**** you have such beautiful brown eyes.
You always claim your hair looks bad.
No love, it is absolutely amazing.
Everything about you is amazing.
Everything is perfect.
Please don't ever feel like you have to change.
Don't change for anyone.
You are beautiful the way you are.
Just the way you are...
A poem about a lovely girl
431 · Feb 2016
A man who should
Ana S Feb 2016
A man who never would?
Or a man who never could?
The world has become a sad place.
A place where man hands man poison and begs him to taste.
Then the man stares.
As man dies man doesn't care.
All he does is stare.
He doesn't help.
He watches man scream and yelp.
Sorry my dear.
Nobody is here.
So as you can see,
Man ought to make a world of beauty.
A man who never would.
A man who never could.
A man who all along really should.
Based on dr. Who quote
Make this a place of a man who never would.
423 · Apr 2017
Depression destroys you
Ana S Apr 2017
Does the word ring a bell?
Ever feel trapped in your own
Personal hell?
Regretting every move?
Everything is dark
Storm clouds linger in the air.
Storm clouds that grow darker
It's not even sadness
Over and over the feeling screams
Numb is all I feel.

Depression is an empty feeling
420 · Apr 2016
Two sentence stories... #1
Ana S Apr 2016
I lean over the edge. My feet never touch the ground, but I fly.

2. She ran her hand down my arm. Then she proceeded to wrap her arms around me.

3. Dancing is an outlet. Soaring to the music instead of putting a gun to you head and pulling the trigger.
Just a tandom little something
416 · Jun 2016
No words
Ana S Jun 2016
No words can sum up the pain.
The pain I've felt for years.
No words can unstain the blade.
The blade I've used for years.
No words can mend my heart.
The heart you've crushed for years.
No words can take away my breath.
The breath you've held for years.
Carefully watching my step.
The steps you've controlled for years.
Tears streaking down my face.
The face you've abused for years.
Bruises line my body.
The body you've hit for years.
No nothing can take away the pain.
The pain you have inflicted for years.
The years of a girl undergoing abuse
409 · May 2016
Dancing
Ana S May 2016
Grab my hands.
Dance with me.
Pulled in close.
Stay here with me.
Yes you don't even know.
How much you really mean.
You are one of the reasons I breath.
Your every word draws me in.
Every move makes me weak.
Weaker to you.
Falling hard.
For once I actually want to fall.
Fall into you.
Feel your heart beat.
Your lips on mine.
Every kiss frightening and beautiful.
Wanting to grow old.
Only with you love.
Late at night.
Texting you til daylight.
Staying up as long as I can.
Dreaming of you.
Seeing you.
Morning lunch whenever we can.
Life's to short.
You say to live in the moment.
Never try to rush.
I'm always somewhere out of my mind.
Living strewn about over time.
Another random poem
407 · May 2016
Take me to her
Ana S May 2016
Your every move has led me to her.
The beginning we were nothing.
Now she is everything.
How can someone care so much.
Always on my mind.
Wondering if she is okay.
I wear her sweatshirt.
It smells like her.
She wears mine.
My last name on her back.
Big red letters.
It's cute on her.
She is everything to me.
I love her with every ounce in my body.
I love her so much.
Nobody has a clue what I'm getting into to.
A poem about mel
406 · May 2016
Tragedy today
Ana S May 2016
The polar bear died.
I cried.
406 · Apr 2016
The past
Ana S Apr 2016
There's not enough rain in Oklahoma to wash the sins out of that house.
So here I hide motionless like a dead mouse.
I began silent and died silent.
I began pale and unable, unwilling, to breath.
Now again I feel anxiety making it impossible to breath.
I thought I was making improvement.
I thought maybe for once in my life there was a chance I wasn't going to have to take meds the rest of my life to keep me alive.
That ship sailed.
I didn't take them yesterday and I already feel pain.
I feel the anxiety.
I feel the waves pushing me under.
I'm drowning again.
Mom says I need to take my meds.
I know I need to.
Sometimes I just forget.
The next day I am flung high into the sky then pushed down under the waves to the deepest parts of the ocean.
Here I will stay for a little.
Bipolar
406 · May 2016
Dinner
Ana S May 2016
Diner was calm.
The tv off not on.
We sat there like statues.
Pretending everything was fine.
Yes pretending was something you've always been good at dad.

I knew you lost your job.
I knew your car capped out.
Never once did I speak.

You knew I had relationship problems.
You knew I was becoming sicker.
Yet never once did you speak.

You were a homophobe.
You didn't want to believe half of it.
I didn't want to see your life go downhill.
Especially now.

So to ease the tension, I picked up the baby and got in the Prius and drove to my girlfriends house.
Just for you I kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
Me too.

The baby cooed.
She smiled gently.
Yes everything was okay.
But at the same time it wasn't.
I guess that's alright.
At least I have her and I'm still alive.
The tiny life will keep her company when I'm gone.
The tiny life will need her when I'm gone.
I can't be sad.
Looking back on the life I had.
A happy, for the most part, family.
Beautiful baby girl.
Beautiful significant other.
Beautiful childhood.
Surrounded by beauty.
Yeah life was good.
A story about a woman who is dying
398 · Mar 2016
A Contract with The High
Ana S Mar 2016
Death lingered in the air,
She told me to look over there,
There stood a perfect view of her,
or at least who she'd used to be.
She always had natural beauty.
Until something hit her hard.
Playing the wild card.
She put her life on Hold.
She wasn't even that old.
One puff two,
I didn't know what to do.
My girlfriend signed away her life,
Never was to become my wife.
Made a commitment to the drugs.
They began to tug and tug.
Away from me.
She thought I wouldn't see.
They drug her straight to insanity.
A new girl not to long after,
continued forcing my love to disaster.
Try one of these,
It gives you a happy feeling.
Well goodbye okay,
Don't question why I didn't stay.
A story about my ex and how nicotine destroyed us.
397 · Jan 2016
They used to fight.
Ana S Jan 2016
Mom screamed at night.
He never avoided a fight.
So as I sit here and I write, I listen to them yell.
Back and forth the voices always tell.
This was you fault the voices say.
No! No! No! Go away.
I can't listen anymore.
I slam closed the door.
One cut, two cuts more.
I feel the tears begin to fall.
Slam my fist into the wall.
What will they think?
I watch the blood drip in the sink.
Off my wrist the red falls.
Into a dark room my conscious crawls.
When mom finds me she screams and bawls.
How could you do this to me?
I'm sorry mom.
I know it was wrong.
When the blade turned red,
I don't know what got in my head.
I just couldn't put it down.
Then she began to frown.
Your not my daughter she said.
I downed a bottle of pills and like that I was dead.
Not based off a true story.
396 · Aug 2016
Broken dreams
Ana S Aug 2016
Plans and dreams,
Turned to nothing,
Shadows in the night,
Seemed to give me a bit of delight.
You walk away.
I was speechless with nothing to say.
Now my friends are the shadows.
I'm tired of people who just come and go.
You finally love somebody.
Then they leave you trapped in your mind.
Lately it's hard to find,
Any noises but the soft whispers.
The ones only I can hear.
No longer safe in my head.
Not yet to the point of wishing I was dead.
Thoughts always spinning around.
My body was Nowhere near the ground.
High above reality.
Never realized what was happening.
All I knew was I had her and she had me.
But that was never the true story.
Two broken souls.
No story to be told.
Both too broken to ever love.
Putting there future behind them.
Only to return to the emptiness.

A.S
a random write. Nothing true about it.
396 · Mar 2016
Home
Ana S Mar 2016
Call me back to home.
Don't make me walk alone.
Take me to the place I belong.
Teach me again how to be strong.
Please let me stay there.
Free my short red hair fly free.
Yes fly free just like me.
A poem about freedom
394 · Feb 2017
Seeking warmth
Ana S Feb 2017
My spaniel puppy lays on my feet.
I'm at home comfortable under my blue blanket.
It's a soft blue blanket probably one of my favorite possessions.
The spaniel puppy is warm and soft.
She keeps my cold body warm.
She knows something is wrong.
She's worried too.
Everyone's worried.
Lately my body has been caving.
Sicker and sicker I grow and I'm unable to cure this sickness.
My body refuses to fight it.
Over two weeks now what should be a common cold has made me miserable.
No I'm not contagious.
I have to sit out during sport activities because my lungs can't take that kind of activity.
My lungs aren't necessarily the best at being lungs.
They don't want to breath in air.
They feel like they are suffocating.  
It's an interesting feeling.
393 · Apr 2016
Voices
Ana S Apr 2016
All the voices here and there.
You are worthless screamed everywhere.
My thoughts scold me for the past.
She I knew you couldn't be in a relationship that last
Remember all the nights you spend together?
******* ****.
Hope you never get out of the depressed rut.
Go take another pill.
Drink till your guts spill.
Achohol poisoning might do you well.
That was why our relationship fell.
I got a habit.
One that became an addiction before I could grab it.
Remember the time the girls came and jumped me?
Left me there bleeding?
Yeah that was fun.
Who helped? No one.
I'm pathetic.
I'm a lunatic.
So drugged up I cant think straight.
So high I can't do great.
I'm an idiot.
Should have never slept with her.
She was my murderer.
I'm an idiot.
Mistakes
391 · Jun 2016
Me
Ana S Jun 2016
Me
I have a history.
One that's not so easy to read.
Just like a book with every turn of a page.
You must cringe at what you see.
My past.
My present.
My future.
All have been ashes.
I'm not easy to read.
The words are all twisted.
All scary.
Some pages are torn up like my wrists.
There are reasons I never wear bikini bottoms in the summer.
Always shorts so people don't ask about the cuts and burns.
I wear tattoos to cover up scars.
Yeah my book is very tattered.
Very broken.
Falling apart even.
But my book reflects my life.
That's okay.
My book
391 · Oct 2016
When the sun goes down
Ana S Oct 2016
Many different people are out...
The sunset so beautiful.
Then it goes down.
Darkness.
Her and I sitting on the hill.
The peaceful noises around us.
Sitting close.
Her hand in mine.
She's so beautiful.
Especially her eyes.
The color drawing me in.
I lean in to kiss her and she pulls back smirking.
She asks, what's on your mind?
I can't even begin to describe it.
So here in the dark we sit.
Our words minimum, barely any.
The shadows surround us, so many...
I pull her close and kiss her.
I melt just by her touch.
She's amazing.
The way she wispers in my ear...
The way she freezes and stops when others are near.
The way she has to be high to feel alive.
The way she can talk half the night and still be nowhere near ending the conversation.
The way she smirks when looking me in the eyes.
****... I can't get her off my mind.
So **** amazing.
So love, when you ask what's on my mind, just know it's too much to describe.
I have nothing to hide.
I'm just mesmerized.
389 · Apr 2016
How I deal
Ana S Apr 2016
The way I deal with my problems.
It isn't the best way.
Sneaking out to get the things I need.
Coming back high and unable to think right.
Yeah the street lights are blurs.
It's how I deal with losing her.

The way I deal with my problems.
Isn't always the right way.
I get in fights a lot.
The pills make me manic.
I no longer take the ones that calm me.
Instead I chose to stay up high.
Until I crash real low.
That's how I deal with losing her.
389 · Jun 2016
I act like it doesn't hurt
Ana S Jun 2016
Nope no pain.
Deep down under my sleeves I press down on cuts.
The cuts hurt bad.
Bad like everything memory.
I say it's just allergies.
That's the reason I look like I'm crying.
It's never allergies.
It's a little problem I like to call heartbreak.
When you fall for someone and they don't love you.
So many times this has happened.
Just great.
When it hurts
383 · May 2016
The world
Ana S May 2016
Now it is the world.
Yes love, the world standing between us.
But I am here.
The world can be left in the dust.
I will always be here love.
Always.
When words are spit at us,
Those words won't matter.
When people threaten violence just be aware that the violence is never the answer.
We are safe.
We are okay.
The humans can't hurt us if we don't let them.
So no I will not fight.
I will not spur words of hate.
I will stand my ground and keep you close.
When the world knocks us down we have each other.
Now I am not afraid.
Afraid of what the world can do.
Yes I am frightened of the people in the world.
But we are strong.
We are stronger than we know.
I love you.
When the world is on your back...
382 · May 2016
Pale
Ana S May 2016
My skin was white.
Night and pale.
White as a ghost.
Yes at times I felt like a ghost.
Wandering aimless.
I am a ghost.
I am dead.
Yet still breathing.
I wander dead.
I am dead.
My skin is white.
382 · Sep 2016
Change
Ana S Sep 2016
Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
One second everything's great the next you want to die.
I honestly don't want to be here anymore.
I guess I'm hanging on for her.
We were had plans together.
Now they are nothing.
Reality went to dreams.
Now I will see her in my sleep.
Wanting to run to her and hug her tight.
Knowing I just want to stay out of sight.
She said if I cut so will she.
I told her she has more potential than me.
I begged her not to leave.
She said she'd need time to think.
I wasn't ready for that today.
She left me speechless no words to say.
Numb.
Finger laying on the trigger of the gun.
Not being able to run to anyone.
Her in the dark my thoughts run wild.
A ******* confused little child.
I want to light up agin.
Put my worries to an end.
I thought I was clean.
No longer had a need.
Leaning on nicotine as my only relief.
Smoking more and more
**** nobody cares.
People really do.
My mind denies it.
Just wanting to forget.
Addicted to running silver down my arm again and again.
The blade is one of my few friends.
Put the gun to my head the end.
A poem about life
375 · Jan 2016
This is how it was.
Ana S Jan 2016
Play dates
Soul mates
This is how it was
Constant fun
Young one
As we grew old
If we only stayed.
If we never wasted away.
If it just stayed how it was.
A childhood
375 · Apr 2016
She doesn't understand
Ana S Apr 2016
Repeativly I appoligize.
I don't know how she hasn't realized.
When I talk about a crush.
I feel my heart begin to rush.
I remember that last time I told you.
I wondered how you'd react what you would do.
Instead I kinda feel like you forgot the next day.
Now I just identify you as a person whenever I say.
The work crush.
Yes my heart rush.
Only because it's you.
You are the reason I do what I do.
I try to hide feelings with others.
But no one makes me happy like you.
I just don't know what to do.
This is how I will say it.
I like you.
A crush
371 · May 2016
Crying out
Ana S May 2016
Sick of all the battles
The ones that shouldn't be
Problems that shouldn't excist.
Melody
Life
Cutting
Burning
Emily
Anger
Suicide
**** what if I just said it was over?
What if I just said I wanted to take my life?
Would you guys still care?
If one dark night I started taking pills?
One night I cut too deep.
One night I cried until I couldn't breath?
Sick of it all.
I bleed to heal others.
I ******* die everyday to see you smile.
You never smile.
You make it seem like you don't care.
I just want it all to be over.
This time I'm not just venting in writing.
This time I'm being legit.
This might be the last poem.
I don't know.
I've pretended to be okay.
Well I'm not okay!
Just sick of it all
Sick of it all! Sick of it all!
371 · Apr 2016
A crush
Ana S Apr 2016
Controlling.
My thoughts always rolling.
Yeah I can be a bit crazy.
Never any maybe.
I don't need help.
Never going to yelp.
Even though I scream inside.
The real fears I hide.
Her, she is everything.
Everything who will never be.
Never be mine.
I guess we can see with time.
Maybe in the end.
Everything might work out.
Until then I wait.
I love you.
To a friend
Ana S Jan 2016
Hear us tweet.
Hear up tell you you're weak.
Hear us lead you on.
Hear us tell you you're loved by no one.
Hear us sing curses.
Hear us tell you to jump.
Hear us through you over the edge.
Here us tell you your worthless.
Hear you starting to listen.
We are the birds. The ones you fear. The ones that will never go away that are always here.
The voices in your head.
369 · May 2016
Breath
Ana S May 2016
My head is up
My bodies grounded
My lovers near me.
Taking away bad feeling.
Her touch kills me.
It sends me into a distant reality.
Breath is taken from me.
I
Am
Breathless.
Your
Beauty
Takes
my
Breath
Away
Love
368 · May 2016
Under the ocean
Ana S May 2016
My body began to sink.
A wave of depression was sweeping me under.
I was low.
Back at the bottom of the ocean.
I had reasons on why I was drifting in and out of waves.
Being pushed by the currents.
Being drug farther down by my mind.
I shouldn't let myself drift like this.
I shouldn't let the waves of past push me down.
Too bad I don't control the ocean.
It controls me.
It decides if I will fly or swim.
Be caught in a storm or burnt by the sun.
That is reality for me.
This is reality.
The pain.
The silver blade breaking my skin.
The achohol drowning out the past.
The sleeping pills making me sick.
Then pain from people.
Friends ignoring me, not you Emily.
People acting like I'm a ghost.
The laughing.
Elementary school really ****** me up.
I think everyone is laughing.
It's killing me slowly.
I can't be in the same room as some people for fear one day I'll just break and beat the **** out of them.
God how I'd love makayla to do something so what happen in middle school can happen again.
Stupid lying jerks.
Afraid to trust.
Afraid to love again.
Unlovable?
That's a good description.
Untouchable.
That describes it...
Dead?
Spot on!
The ocean takes you under
364 · Aug 2016
Love?
Ana S Aug 2016
Late night talks.
Hot summer walks.
The things we said.
The fire we fed.
It burned ever so smooth and bright.
Emitted a dim beautiful light.
Her and I.
Our dreams.
Our goals.
Our future.
I think I'm in love with her.
A poem to one of the only girls I have ever loved
364 · May 2016
What is it like?
Ana S May 2016
So you wonder what it is like?
What it's like to rely on drugs to get by?
No it is not the greatness you were promised.
No you are not cured with a bit if lithium.
No not even the Prozac helps.
It just pushes you deep into the ocean.

You wonder what it is like?
What it is like to drown in the ocean.
I will tell you now it is not fun either.
The grey waves push you down to the depths and the light disappears.
That's when you are introduced to the silver.
That is when the silver begins to nip at your pale freckled wrists.
The ocean is not an easy swim.
No sun tanning here.

You wonder what it is like?
What it is like to be thrown into the sky?
Yeah it's fun at first.
But eventually what goes up must come down to earth.
I crash hard from my natural high.
And you thought it was fun.

Just a word of advice.
Never try to experience first hand what it is like.
By doing that you pretty much sacrifice your life.
Hand over your light.
Exchange it for a contract with the blade.
Get ready to meet the doctors.
Get ready for the long white halls to become home.
Get ready to take nasty tasting pills.
Because that will be your life.
Never wish to e mentally ill.
Those who are would trade anything to be sane again.
At least I would.
359 · Aug 2016
Take my hand
Ana S Aug 2016
take my hand.
I will lead you through the storm.
The storm on the inside.
The storm that you can't hide.
I can see the pain in your eyes.
Really it's no surprise.
You've been through so much.
You are strong.
Amazing.
And not hopeless.
So take my hand.
Allow me to walk you through the storm.
Through the storm
356 · Apr 2018
S.M.
Ana S Apr 2018
A rant on you.
When a fire lights desire,
no longer a childish stare,
no longer a desire to have him physically there,
because after a while,
of giving out the eyes of a child,
the physical pain you claim to feel,
Is numbed,
Its a pain that can't be numbed,
but he numbs it.
Like the oxy snorted over a late night cup of tea,
Except instead of oxy it is he,
addicting
a ****, yes,
that he can be,
me too, but he loves me,
and I love him,
so instead of a deep childish stare,
I no longer need him physically there,
I know he loves me wherever he is,
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