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Jul 2018 · 253
For adventure awaits
alena Jul 2018
I somehow
Find myself standing still
In the midst of waiting and... being

Adventure is nothing without you
And nothing is an adventure without you
Dec 2017 · 402
Decisions
alena Dec 2017
Tides rise in my chest with every breath
While I savor the look of you
Your lips breathing lightly
Rustling the leaves in my chest

So close to mine
But such a large gap to close
Whole decisions away

So hesitant
But incredibly strong
Holding the distance for an eternity
And closing in an instant

A moment I never thought would happen
But that I dreamed a thousand times

You felt like the wind
But yet you knocked it out of me
Gentle lips on mine
Moments surpassed time

Fingers wrap clumsily around your neck
You held me like porcelain
Touched me like an ancient book
But held me like I was saving your life

Softly raking my shirt
As if you were finding my seams
To ******* undone

You held my face
As if to make sure I wouldn't fall apart
Little did you know
I already had

Soft caress of my back
From the same arms
I swore held up the world

Our foreheads meet
As if to exchange thoughts
Even though I couldn't think
But your lovely eyes waited
When I opened mine

The voice that caught my attention
With every word it'd say
Was yet a whisper
That stoppemy heart

The birds fade in as we part
While the world comes back into play
You are all I see
Mar 2017 · 609
Ask me
alena Mar 2017
When madly in love
One doesn't ask questions

Especially not why or how

And that is the most hopeful thing I've ever known
Dec 2015 · 958
Rosé colored glasses
alena Dec 2015
Bubbles rising the walls of chilled glass
Bursting and fizzing in a golden pink haze
Similar to the color of early fall sunsets

The fizzy feeling... of bubbles bursting
As they crash against your lip
And cascade around with your tongue

Sunsets and sunrises in their radiant yellow hazed blush
With cool breezes and warm sunlight
Crisp and fresh every breath

How I sip and savor all of it that is you
You've filled my life with a pink haze
You've left me in an eternal golden hour

I love my rosé colored lens
Every explosive kiss
Every fresh breath and beautiful thought
Every bit of it is my favorite
Because you have tainted my view
Can i thank you enough?
champagne kisses- jessie ware
alena Dec 2015
And more than anything
Fall in love with someone who makes you sure
Someone who makes you sure;
That the world isn't such a bad place
That it has to be full of love, because look at that face
That your life, your love is meant for so much more

Because more than anything
We love, to be saved...
Fall in love with someone
Who has you convinced, that they are your Savior
And just pray... That they feel the same

Because Falling in love with your savior, it's the only form of heaven we can know
You saved me from myself
Nov 2015 · 533
Honest conversations
alena Nov 2015
"My dear, when I talk about you,
I feel like I'm telling people about a character
From my favorite novel"
                    He laughs
"But my dear, I am real"
         She looks up at him
"Sometimes that's the worst part"
Nov 2015 · 2.3k
My flame
alena Nov 2015
Your touch seers my skin
You are an eruption in my chest
Pouring through my veins
Fueling my limbs and burning me from inside out
You are
Nov 2015 · 687
Worlds to see
alena Nov 2015
There is a vastness within you
That I don't think I'll ever understand.

You hold a worlds worth of wisdom and stories

Let me climb into your heart
and see your core
Ill scale the walls
I am quite the adventurer.

Eventually I want to reach the peak of your mind so I can see what you are looking at.

For when I said I wanted to take on the world with you,
I meant even the one in your head.
when you quite cant know enough about someone.
Nov 2015 · 744
Universe
alena Nov 2015
I wonder at peoples wonder with the sky
Trying to comprehend what we will never even touch

My cosmos are all much closer than most think
Your eyes light up with galaxies
Your breathing creates a time vacuum

We wondered at the skies together
And I never felt more complete with my insignificance

But now I wonder at them alone
Try to imagine where you are
And I've never felt more incomplete
Oct 2015 · 704
Time Zones
alena Oct 2015
If you were to ask me
"what time is it?"

Don't look at me puzzled if I am ahead by six hours
right after i check my watch and tell you

My heart lives on the 7 when we are still on 1
and those notches in between
Are in a space I constantly feel pulling on me

Because hes on the 7 and I'm on the 1
The 6 hours difference in what it is
and what i told you

Makes the world of difference to me
little do people know what time can really do
Oct 2015 · 1.5k
chameleon soul
alena Oct 2015
I was the happiest child
everyone called me naive
But as I grew up.

The happiness stayed
it took on a different form
I began to encapture people with my
sad happiness

I had a smile that could fit in anywhere
said my nana

You are so gracefully reserved
said my father

You have a shapeshifting soul
said my mother...
but the problem with a chameleon soul
Is you never can quite remember
your original color.
Oct 2015 · 1.4k
See shore
alena Oct 2015
It all makes sense now
Why the sea always runs back to the shore
Pushed away
push push pushed away
But it always comes back for more

Its because the shore wants all the kisses from the pads of your feet to itself...
And the sea because it wants to hug you gently one more time...

And hell If i was the ocean i would too.

Because i know how beautiful it is when i see you on that shore
im a mess for you
Oct 2015 · 452
4 seasons
alena Oct 2015
While this i may not know
You are the summer wind
Pushing my hair out my face whispering I love you
You are the sea chasing me up the sand
Just for the chance to touch me

You are the fall Leaves
crunching under my feet to make me smile
You  are in the hot tea i drink
Kissing my fingertips the moment I touch you

You are in the heater
Kissing my nose after the bitter cold of winter

You are the spring flowers
Tangled in my hair

You are every little thing that makes me smile
You are why the world looks beautiful again to this once lonely girl
"you are all four seasons rolled into one"
Sep 2015 · 596
Find You
alena Sep 2015
Even though I cant hold your hand my love
I can find it in every cup of coffee or tea I hold
And they wonder why I drink them so much
Feeling the heat sear my hands
Like yours do, when I hold them so tight

Even though I cant hear your voice
I can hear you in bits of every song
And they wonder why my headphones are always in
Feeling you in the notes and words

Even if i cant see you, I still feel you in everything
You are why
Sep 2015 · 845
Shooting Stars
alena Sep 2015
Skin red left in the wake of gentle kisses
Tender to everything
From the star light that touched my arms
that peaceful night

It was a cosmic reaction
A total light show
All because you where there
That first kiss under shooting stars

we created the most magnificent show
Lighting up the skies
Even if it was behind closed eyelids

People wonder How you can make me shine
Even from so far away
But they don't know what an ache we have
Or how much we need each other

So while the lights shine and you are away
Every glimmer reminds me of you

So Ill shine for you
Till we can be together
and we will live in the land of a thousand lights
So light up Babes
stars- the **
Sep 2015 · 642
The Ocean without You
alena Sep 2015
As I stand in the water,
                                              Ignoring the entire world    
                  Knee deep in the waves,my shorts wet       
                 On the same beach we had our first date                  
         Where we blessed the sand with footprints for hours            
When feet didn't tire because we couldn't get enough of each other

                                                     And now i stand still,          
                             Looking at the horizon of the sea        
                       The same one that we both love,                          
                 Is the only thing that separates us,                                  
         And  maybe if i stand here long enough,                                        
My two little feet planted in the sand will pull you back to me        

                                                 Strangers look at me like I'm lost    
                                   And I occasionally feel like I am,                 
             In the times when you are all i can think of,                        
         Let me get lost in you, drown in you, Love You,                      
    Let the ocean pull me under& lead me to you, its knows us both
Because the Ocean just isn't the same without you, You're my shoreline
I miss you. I wish i could pull you back to me, like the shore does with the waves.
Aug 2015 · 438
You Part 2
alena Aug 2015
You are a fighter.
You are tough as nails
But so sweet

You make me smile
You make my heart flip when you do
But you make me want to cry
This love is so unfair

Like an evergreen that's always in the snow
I am aching daily
My life will be like there is no sun
When im without you

But My Heart Beats for you Alone
Ill be there when you cant say
Ill be there when you cant smile
My love will be that one thing
My Kind of Love- Emeli Sande
Aug 2015 · 747
Perfect Hurricanes
alena Aug 2015
I find it ironic how
We get warnings for how to deal with hurricanes weeks in advance
But you...
No one tells me how to deal with you
You crashed into me
Brought out things in me
That I didnt remember I had
And showed me things I didnt even know about myself
But instead of leaving me like a shell
Like hurricanes do
To homes, towns, entire cities
You left me with wind in my heart
Thunderstorms in my soul

The rain you left behind in your wake wont stop
The wind hitting the walls of my heart whenever i think of you
But youve moved into a different country
Even so You'll be my storm rescue soon enough
how did i get here- odesza
you are why storms are named after people
Dec 2014 · 588
Walk on Me
alena Dec 2014
Warm coffee
Cold days wrapped in your arms
feel you wheeze
when you breathe like the leaky pipes in my apartment

Cold coffee
sunny days
do you love me
Waking up barefoot,
tiptoeing on my creaky bones
Just like I walk on old wood floors

Im not a home
Cause you don't love me
Perhaps because i cant hear my pipes or floorboards
coffee- sylvan esso
Nov 2014 · 526
Giving Soul
alena Nov 2014
She's the kind of girl
who would share a bottled water with a rose
But leave over half so "the flower wont get thirsty"

She would buy you a coffee
because you had a bad day
with the last dollars in her pocket

She gives her heart in all she does
Just because she likes how people smile

Most don't understand what its like
to want others happiness
more than you want it for yourself

She just wants to spread some love
And maybe get lucky
on a good day
and feel loved in return
she had to learn how to make her own sunshine
now everyone wants a piece of her glow
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Heartbreaking
alena Nov 2014
did you crumble against a wall
did you fall to your knees
or did you stay standing numb

when you cry do you sniffle and scream
or do you hold it in
till blackness consumes you at night

I wouldn't know
Because I will never be a causation
But I've broken enough hearts I could guess

I may not know how you hurt
But I do know your eyes
cried my tears
every time your heart was broken
it breaks my heart that your heart has been bruised
Oct 2014 · 752
my sky
alena Oct 2014
My father used to count the stars with me
He was the only man I ever trusted
And for good cause
He always said to keep my eyes off the moon when trying to count
because its light will blind you to the smaller stars
It always took time to find the moon afterwards because of the avoidance
but just now I know why...
Some lose the moon while counting the stars
and others lose stars while watching the moon
But I found my moon and every star when I started to count on you
For you- Angus and Julia Stone
You are my sky and I'll give you whatever stars you like
Oct 2014 · 937
apo-lay-with-me's
alena Oct 2014
I feel the need to apologize if I sleep;
because you aren't here

I feel the need to apologize if I don't;
because I robbed you of my dreams

But I'm most sorry;
that I'm not there.
Time to sleep- marble sounds
(Soon I will stop being sorry)
Oct 2014 · 580
Mother Nature
alena Oct 2014
She is the Ficklest of us all
Why else would she let wind and rain age us?
She has spent so much of her life lonely
She keeps the moon from the sun
Making them die daily so the other can live
Keeps the wolves from the moon
So they write the most heartbroken songs of all
Keep the sun from her flowers for whole seasons

Just like she put distance between you and I for a time
She hates how my heart beat resonates with feelings for you
And sounds in a faint pounding that will echo
Chasing you down for as long as sounds resound

She cringes when she thinks of us
Because she knows that all the touches given and received
Between You and I
Will forever be unsuccessfully mimicked by the ocean
Giving kisses to the shore trying for what we have

But I'm convinced the real reason she put distance between us
For this short time
Is because she knows how beautiful you look
When you first wake
And she saw that I was meant to fit you perfectly
Mother nature was fickle and jealous

Souls like ours have a gravity about them
Something Mother Nature cant even control
A higher cosmic source destined us
we have a pull between us
Like the moon on the ocean

She knew even she couldn't keep you from me
I am yours eternally
Because you are my sun, my moon, and my flowers
You are my sky
Your eyes contain galaxies and a millennia of explosions of stars
Your heart beat is every song that was ever written
Your touch is years of rain showers and lightening

You have me awestruck
And Mother Nature is fickle
Because she once felt what I feel now and forever will with you...

She felt this when the World came into being
She had her life and eternity unrolled like a welcome mat
When she saw her world.
All the trees, all the oceans, the clouds, rain, sun,
All the beauty it would bestow and already had...

Was almost as amazing
As what I get to see
Every time I look at you
Yellow- Coldplay
Oct 2014 · 946
How
alena Oct 2014
How
Poetry is meant to be felt
Not just read

How?
With every little breath while sleeping on my lap

Did you manage the feat of creating every love poem
Ive written & read..
To be All about you?
you are my muse
Oct 2014 · 447
Voices
alena Oct 2014
A syrupy sweet voice
with lovely vowels is how I imagine her for you
deepens slightly when she sings
but heightens when she whispers

My voice , I'm sure isn't near as lovely
with an odd accent
and a habit to draw out the letter "t"
that has a sad bluesy tone when I sing and whisper
I don't have a voice that you'll dream about
At least I don't think I have a voice worthy of your thoughts

But my words, seldom
or rambling
(I never could balance the two)
are packed with meaning
So tightly I can barely breathe them out
They squeeze my lungs and I lose my breath
when I utter them to you
They may not be sugar coated
But words like forever

Mean what they are
And so much more
Forever
Without Borders or boundaries

Forever                                                                                                                 means past the limitations life tries to set on love like ours                      
my soul will continue to intertwine with yours                                            
Dust will no longer be Dust                                  Air no longer breathable
But yours I will remain

When I say you are my only
I mean you are the only thing that keeps me breathing beyond forever
Your soul is my universe
You have a gravitational pull that I need to keep from imploding
You spin me around in the best way
You have me star struck for life
You are why I feel I exist

And when I say I love you
I mean you keep my life livable
When my heart saw you
I felt my darkness and sadness melt away
You left me resplendent
I mean that your gentle fingers
have worked their way under my ribs,
gently pried them open
Leaving my heart exposed
but you keep it beating
Catching and putting permanent butterflies deep in my gut
pumping fresh air in my lungs
Sewing me back together with kisses
And holding my life together with your arms

When I say I Love YOU
I mean I ran
Far away from feelings as fast and far as I could
But you were there when I stopped
and you held me up as I collapsed
from exhaustion
taught me how to breath again
and I realized I never really knew how to

My words may not sound the sweetest that you've heard
But I can guarantee that they mean more than you've known
But I hope that you will eventually see and feel
what they truly can mean
I hope I can quiet  her haunting voice in your head
ive had them too
Oct 2014 · 439
Motion Sickness
alena Oct 2014
Every night
                           I go through a series of motions.
who am I joking?
                           Every day I do.
The days.
                          Running into the next because its the same old dance
I wake up
                           Starting to lose feeling after my morning coffee
I want to cry
                            Every day driving into work
I go to sleep
                            Two hours after I get home
                It all feels the same

Ill feel nothing
                             Or I feel everything
But it doesn't matter
                             It doesn't matter
I have a monotonous routine
                               Constricting my soul

I know it will be over soon
                                But will I lose my sanity first?
my heart aches for the end date
                                 I need it.
I desire I life I don't even own yet
                                 So close but so far

I need it. I need me. I need you.
                                  I need this to end
I need a new start
                                 I need you every day
and until I have it.
I will be aching.
                                Losing my proverbial mind
Because they are days I'm losing with you
#3 - my life without you-
The wolves (act I and II)- bon iver
Oct 2014 · 651
Flowers& Death
alena Oct 2014
Its funny how as a child you are told things
and you don't think about them again
Till you’re an adult

And suddenly few strings of words
Become the deepest well of reflection

So my grandmother
Told me People are a lot like flowers
And that it's sad that's true

Today I passed a flower vine
Lavender little bells
Strung amongst a vine wrapped around an old broom

The flowers were plain until today
And the insteps of the petals were bleeding light pink
The broom had been removed from the vine
The flowers had never been prettier

Some Flowers have to hold on to something to stay alive
Choking ;breaking
And only become beautiful, once they let it go

Only beautiful
Once they begin to Die
all the friendly people- the funeral suits
alena Sep 2014
is it fitting
That on " national love letter day", I write my first to you?

I have written about you since we met.
But this, mi amo, is the first directly to you.

I had never shared my writings before you
I still have them in a notebook full of emotion
Locked with the same key that buckled my heart.
But you hold it now. So you hold them as well.

You are my first in so many things.
So I only hope I can be your first in a few.

I stand before you exposed, enchanted,
and enveloped in your love.

I have a habit of writing.
I leave notes
song names
numbers
written everywhere...

Now,
Starting today
I'm writing something worth much more.
Little tokens.
For you.
To keep.

I'm writing you notes, poems, letters.
All about you
for you
explaining my adoration
and pure addiction to you

Here is the first of many...


I cannot wait till I can wake up quietly,
roll over to see you
ease out of bed
and leave you notes on my pillow where my head was resting
" I am out running for your (French vanilla, cream and sugar) coffee and getting you chocolate frosted donuts, be back soon my love"

Here is to you baby.
Here is to the notes I've yet to leave
Here is to the letters I have yet to write
The poems yet to share.

Here is to you...
Because they are all yours.

Here is to the first of many.
My love...
All my letters are yours.
Here's to you babes.
To many more
Sep 2014 · 848
Philo-safety
alena Sep 2014
Every one who has ever felt
has a philosophy on Love

I believe no one ever really knows what Love is
Its an odd affection that consumes all

There are so many kinds of Love
mad love, hateful love, sad love, happy love
Whose ever to understand what is really Love is

I don't think most ever will...
Nor do I believe most should

Love is for the feelers
Love is for the writers and the artists and photographers
For people who constantly want to capture what they feel

Everyone deserves Love
But what people call True Love
Is reserved for those who mull over
Every look, the touches, the smells, the lighting
Words, sentences, gasps, and moans

What everyone feels is different
And that is beautiful

But those who feel the most deeply
Are those who choose to feel everything
Those who aren't afraid to feel

They want everyone to feel their Saturday mornings
Filled with white light
Resplendent but chilly
Intimate filled with fluffy pillows and blankets
Making coffee and eggs

They want everyone to know that's how the feel Love
That Love is in their everyday
But what they want to explain even more
Is the One time Love they feel

Whether its still theirs or not.
Because it is worth it

That's the real difference between Love and what everyone calls Love
When its felt so deeply
Everyone needs to know
Even when it isn't there
Because it will not happen again
But it made you love everything else, that much more
I believe
and I feel
So ill tell you
Probably more than One Time
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
Sleep
alena Sep 2014
Most sleep just to rest
Not many even remember dreams

Almost none see  how beautiful sleep is

I didn't
Until I saw it on you

None had ever made closed eyes
Fluttering with every touch
So appealing

The feel of you holding me and your gentle breath
Catching slightly with every exhale
Finer than silk

Sleep with you
You in sleep

Make me see beauty where most see none

Sleep is messy
The bedhair
        Morning Breath
             Mussed makeup
                 the creaking bones
                      Quiet voices

You make them all beautiful
You are my dream
My daily and endless dream

Maybe I am messy
but "i love to sleep with you"
Bloom - The paper Kites
Tee shirt- Birdy
Sep 2014 · 2.1k
Blindness
alena Sep 2014
"Love is Blindness"
                        is inaccurate

Love is the buffer
            That sees all imperfections
                                     Makes them perfect

Love is the cataracts
                      Blurring all troubles
                           Into a milky sweet balance of good and great
                              Because bad days are now still good

Love are the pupils
                        For life
                                Letting in nothing but light
                                    Blocking out at  darkness

Love is syrupy sweet brown eyes...
                         Even though you thought you liked blue
                              But Sweet Browns now hold your universe

Love acts as the glasses
                  Sharpening everything you used to see
                             Creating the picture of where you were meant to be

Love is the depth perception
                                   For feeling
                                      Used to calibrate all emotions

Love is You
but mostly
                                          Love is sight

Because of Love
                               I can see
I can see the world in your eyes
Sep 2014 · 391
missing you
alena Sep 2014
I do not believe missing and loneliness are synonymous
I learned this from you
Id rather miss you over anything else

Because I know I wont miss you for long
and I am never lonely
Sep 2014 · 2.5k
Fall
alena Sep 2014
I'm an odd girl
Born on the autumnal equinox
On a cusp
virgo nor libra

Not that I believe that matters anyway

I feel Mother nature wanted me different
She gave me a Summer soul in a Fall body

She gives me the warm
So I have to endure the cold
In every aspect of my life that has been true

I am the sweetheart
But I prefer to be alone

I want the sun
But I can't always handle the heat
Because im hot enough without it

Im meant to be out of place
The girl who knows the best bands
But listens to the saddest music

I love the world in fall
the way the breeze chills and everything is crisp
The stars and moon seem brighter
But I can barely handle it...
Because soon everything will die
Sep 2014 · 5.4k
Wants vs. Needs
alena Sep 2014
mother always said
"The happiest people can tell the difference between wants and needs"
father always  said
"You will get to what you want when you do what is needed"
grandmother always said
"Life is full of wants and needs, happiness comes when they match"

My Nana didn't know how those words would ring true
And neither did I
Till the day I met you
you make my future and past make sense
Aug 2014 · 418
To be
alena Aug 2014
To be
Or not to be

That isn't the question
To be here, to be there
To belong
That is the question of life

How to belong
How to feel
How to get there
How to remain
Those are the questions

Life is about belonging
You have one moment in life
Where you know

You feel no different when the day begins
But after it occurs
Whatever it may be

You know where you need to be
For the rest of life

A pull from deep in your chest
Lets you know it will never be the same
Behind your lungs
A longing wraps its self around your very spine

You know from that moment
Any work necessary to feel that way again
And everyday
Will all be worth it

To be without that experience
Is never to live

So where should you be
Rather Be- Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Recovering Addict
alena Aug 2014
I've always said
I have the opposite of an addictive personality
If I have something I enjoy
I lose interest
I ruin and quit things intentionally

But since you I've realized
I'm addicted to a lot of things
worst of them being
unattached

I hated everything I ever defined myself by
I would catch and release more than a fisher
I was addicted to breaking hearts
Addicted to heartbreak
Strung out on pain

Until you
Now you have me recovering
And it should hurt
but my heart pains
only when your away

Now I'm just like another recovering addict
but I'm still addicted
to you

And my addiction to heartbreak
to pain
to unattachment are gone
the zealousness
for everything I was addicted to
is 10 fold but in you

You are the worst drug for me
but yet your the best high
I want to be on you for the rest of my life.
my heroine- the maine
Aug 2014 · 377
Life
alena Aug 2014
Life finally decided it wanted a fair shot at me
It got me all alone
In the tunnel I was travelling
heading towards the light, of my future

Life took my family from my side
chained them on the walls of the tunnel
holding hostage
slowly suffocating them

I was torn
stay and try to help
or leave... and definitely help

Life took the light at the end of the tunnel
snubbed it out with one blow
and handed me the candle
smoke still rising from the wick

Life took my wants and dreams
that I carried in my pocket
crushed them in his immune hands
and put them in his endless pockets

Life hit me
hard
in the face
wrenched my heart from my chest
took all my air
and made me watch as he swallowed them
he took my supports
and I crumbled
but when I looked up
through bruised and teary eyes

Life was dangling new options;
new people
new love
a new future
in front of my face

Life thought that he could taunt me
That I wouldn't get up
That I couldn't get up
Life didn't know after I got up
I'd hit him back.

I now know what I truly wanted all along
I may not know how to get there,
because it ended up my tunnel is a maze
but I will.

because life taught me;
I didn't know what I wanted,
That I can do it on my own,
That I don't have to be alone,
I am no bodies responsibility but mine
That when you have something you want...
you fight...
And when people, even family say you can't
you never ever let them be right...
I'm a lover but I've become a fighter because of it...
Aug 2014 · 578
Break it
alena Aug 2014
Numbness
Its my companion
Feelings are unnecessary

So why would I give you leverage
I can break my own heart
I'm actually quite good at it

I've done it for years
So I can recover from myself

I've never had someone else break it
I never let people
I run them off before that's an option

I have a two month max
and I like being numb after
My face
I cant feel it smile
and I cant force tears

Liquor was my saving grace
but you
You have ruined it all

I want to run
but im so numb with feeling
I cant move my feet
I try to break my heart daily
because of you

I cant bring myself
out of the rut you've put me in
I smile whenever you are around
but hurt with miles between
I cant stand it

But I think I adore you
I want you to give me a reason to run
but you don't
you wont let me break my heart
I should have ran as soon as I saw you
but I want to feel something
anything

and now I do
its so foreign
a numbing tingle
you have awoken my heart
and it yearns daily

I'm so used to not feeling
you make me feel and I cant handle it
I want you to make me numb
but yet I want you to stay
because I feel...
I don't want to go back
to being numb,
to heartbreak that doesn't hurt
I want you
you make my bones ache
you make my heart burn

so don't leave
you would break me
tumbler girls

— The End —