You tried to touch me,
and I said no.
You still tried and I pushed you away
asking…. no, telling you to leave me alone.
But still, you grabbed me,
like an object that belonged to you.
And when I still said no,
you acted like that was your cue
to grab me again
and do what you do.
You were my best friend
and now I ******* hate you!
I still blame myself for what you did to me.
How is that fair?
It’s been 4 years and I think about it daily.
While you don’t even care.
You ruined high school for me.
I had to see you every day in band.
But I still blame myself,
for not putting you on the stand.

glistening
morning dew

the sky
a golden hue

you’re in bed
with someone new

you are in love
with only you

you say we’re done playing
this hurtful little game

ruining the reputations
of both our names

but when I suggest
we start taking things serious

you respond by telling me
that you are still curious

about the bodies with which
you haven’t yet had sx

every time you say it, you break me
like I’m one of your objects

you think I don’t know you?
we’ve already met

took me a while
didn’t realize at the outset

your face is different
now you’re a brunette

but the game’s always the same
and it hasn’t changed yet

say whatever you can
just to make her wet

say what she wants to hear
and what you want, you’ll get

“tell her she’s the only one you’re talking to
her dress might hit the floor”

“tell her that you care
she might let you make her sore”

“tell her you can’t breathe without her
she might let you go hrdcre”

“but if you tell her that you love her……….
then you’re guaranteed to score”

so I know what you do
and I know who you are

and right now you’re in bed
with Red Crop Top from the bar

she’s still sleeping so you text me
“I love you,” with a heart

wow...
even Pinocchio’s nose couldn’t stretch that far

you’re in bed
with someone new

so the blame
goes to you

because I can’t be happy
without you

but I can’t be happy
with you too

you break hearts and promises
it makes me blue

if only I could
get over you

I can’t get over
while I’m still under

you’ll never love me
that will be your greatest blunder

you make my heart break
can you hear its thunder

I wanna text back
but you’re with her

I’m sure last night
is still a blur

quick! put the phone down
she’s beginning to stir

she’ll say “good morning”
with a seductive purr

you’ll search your mind for a name
but you can’t remember her

“was she really worth my pain?”
my mind will wonder

but I decide to reply…..
“I love you too”

glistening
morning dew

the sky
a golden hue

and you’re in bed
with someone new

There they were…
Lying on the bed, with her head resting below his shoulder, listening to his heart beat, and praying it never stops.
One leg draped over him, as if she was afraid he’d free from her embrace. As though her leg, a restraint, holding him in place, keeping him from leaving.
Her arm resting on his body with her hand on his chest.
There they were…
The safest place she could think of.
Her favorite place to be.
She was with him.
Their love, shielding them from the chaos of the outside world, while she silently worries, that he’ll someday leave.
He notices, and reassures her… he’s here to stay.
“He’s here to stay!” She thinks to herself. She’d finally won the fight against her own mind.
He said it himself! He won’t leave!
She could finally feel at peace.
His reassurance and validation was all she needed to believe.
And just like that, she could finally sleep. See… he made her feel safe.
He said “Let me love and protect you! That is the job I want!”
So she let her walls crumble, opened the door, and she let him step in.
He dusted the cobwebs, and drew back the drapes. He painted the walls and straightened the frames. He fixed the creaky doors and floors, and mended broken shelves. He brought light to the darkness, and color to the grey.
He even bought flowers for the empty vase, that had seen better days.
He just strolled in, and he made it a home suited for two.
He said “no more need for walls” and he put in a sparkling moat. “You’re safe with me, you can rest and unload.”
She didn't yet know, that what she’d need protecting from, was him.
For when he’d rip it all away.
He loves her.
He loved her.
Up until one day…
And there they were.
Both, unaware and unafraid.

every heart stops beating
not every man's worth meeting
I can see by the cheesy greeting
this conversation's not worth completing
we could be great, but it would be fleeting
in the end, you'll end up cheating
and it'll be this number you're handing me, that I'll be deleting

I loved you...

I loved you
And you hurt me

I trusted you
and you lied

You fixed me
just to break me

And now
I’m broken inside

I loved you

I loved you

I love you

I have so much to do
yet so little time
not a penny to spend
but there's so much I need to buy
not a dollar in my pocket
and my gas light's on
I need more money
but I work, a minimum wage job
I'm behind in my online class
and can't seem to get it done
I told my mom I've submitted more assignments
when I've only half-completed some
I just failed government
a course I'm required to pass
I might not get to graduate
when all I want to do, is leave high school in the past
I just want to be happy
but lately, even breathing is hard
I need a drink and joint
and I'm still too young for the bar
the stress is like cancer
slowly taking my life away
these days, I don't even sleep
because the anxiety keeps me awake

I’m sad, I’m numb
I’m lonely, I’m numb
I’m in pain, I’m numb
When you’re with me
I’m happy
When you’re with me
I’m loved
When you leave
I’m sad, lonely, in pain
I’m numb

Mankind’s obsession with wealth is what created the mass destruction of the natural world.
The greed of mankind,
leading to inhumane acts against the world,
in which we all live.
Our eager appetite for wealth,
unable to contain itself,
loses control of our greedy hands,
that do nothing but take and never give.
We chop down trees,
stealing the homes of innocent creatures.
We tear into the Earth like a one year old into a birthday cake,
and we expect no consequence in return.
We throw garbage on to flowers that once flourished,
and let the creatures choke on it to their demise.
We force the Earth to relinquish its beauty,
so that we may build our shopping malls and highways upon it.
We confiscate anything natural about this world and destroy it.
Doing so,
with the carelessness of a hand brushing away spilled grains of salt,
off the edge of a table at a truck stop.
Our destructive actions do not come without consequence,
no matter how hard we ignore it.

As horrific as it sounds,
it’s not the greatest challenge mankind has had to face.
No,
that trophy is reserved for mankind’s violence.
For centuries we have waged wars on our neighbors,
slaughtering anyone who does not agree with our way of life.
We have taken women and children captive,
making them our prisoners of war.
We have brutally murdered husbands,
brothers and sons,
and sent ours to do so.
Our only "improvement" made,
is now sending the mothers,
sisters and daughters with them.
All while our nations relish in the glory of their chance-medley.
But now,
school shootings take residency in,
what used to be vacant fears.
Nobody can truly understand why humanity lacks so much humanity.
Why humans are the only creature that can be so inhumane.
No one can explain why these terrible and God awful acts of violence continue to occur.
That is why if you ask,
the only response you’ll ever find is
“they have a twisted mentality.”
But tell that to the hunter keeping populations steady.
Tell that to men destroying the Earth with more destruction for man’s construction.
Tell that to the politicians who think taking away our right to bare arms and protect our families,
will protect our families from being taken from us while they’re at school or a concert.
Tell that to the former president who negotiated with terrorists to save a few American men.
You can’t,
because some inhumane acts have a slightly humane justification. Whether we agree with them or not,
it’s only human.
Being a little inhumane and still humane,
is only human.

i'm sorry that i'm not enough
i'm sorry you thought this was love
i'm sorry my walls are too tough
i'm sorry i threw down the glove
i'm sorry my edges are rough
i'm sorry when push came to shove
i'm sorry was never enough

before you
I was hitting carts on the occasional weekend
sorta disloyal to my boyfriend
had a hunger for bullets
that were just begging to fly
and everyday, fighting with my mom made me cry

but then you pulled up on the weekends
started showing me a better life
I was falling out of windows and climbing in your car
started going back to your place
******* off that one roommate
and doing **** I've never done before
we might have taken things too far

when you
pulled up and rolled up
we sparked up
and curled up
we never went out
stayed home
and made out

and we crossed a good line or two
or three
but what the hell
it never bothered me
until we cut a good line or two
or three
soon enough I wasn't only smoking ****
I still thinks its funny how you don't like to drink

room full of smoke

i didn't know beds could be this comfortable
i didn't know you could be this sweet
i didn't know a lot of things before hitting that blunt

but you showed me everything

you showed me another world that i've never seen
you showed me the beauty i didn't know i had
you showed me pleasure i didn't know existed

but you scared me

you drove 40 miles over the limit
you handed me a gun that still had a bullet in it
you wrapped your hand around my throat and squeezed

and i'm scared because...
i loved it.
i've never met that side of me.

glistening
morning dew

the sky
a golden hue

you’re in bed
with someone new

you are in love
with only you

you say we’re done playing
this hurtful little game

ruining the reputations
of both our names

but when I suggest
we start taking things serious

you respond by telling me
that you are still curious

about the bodies with which
you haven’t yet had ***

every time you say it, you break me
like I’m one of your objects

you think I don’t know you
but I’ve met you before

“tell her that you care
she might let you make her sore”

“tell her she’s the only one you’re talking to
her dress might hit the floor”

“tell her you can’t breathe without her
she might let you go *******”

“but if you tell her that you love her……….
then you’re guaranteed to score”

so I know what you do
and I know who you are

and right now you’re in bed
with Red Crop Top from the bar

she’s still sleeping so you text me
“I love you,” with a heart

wow…
even Pinocchio’s nose couldn’t stretch that far

you’re in bed
with someone new

so the blame
goes to you

because I can’t be happy
without you

but I can’t be happy
with you too

you break hearts and promises
it makes me blue

if only I could
get over you

I can’t get over
while I’m still under

you make my heart break
can you hear its thunder?

I want to text you
but you’re still with her

I’m sure last night
is still a blur

quick! put the phone down
she’s beginning to stir

she’ll say “good morning”
with a seductive purr

searching your mind for a name
but you can’t remember her

was she really worth it
my mind will wonder

glistening
morning dew

the sky
a golden hue

and you’re in bed
with someone new

pop in the mag
rack the slide
take it off safety
lets go for a ride

pull back that trigger
hear a bang bang bang
another twelve shots
never feel the pain

There’s a beast inside of me
But she’s not who I am
And she’s not who I want to be

Tucked behind the golden locks,
that cascaded down her face
Were the footprints of dancing sunbeams,
that left freckles in their trace

And a pair of vibrant green eyes,
that flowed like twin creeks
Showed that she had been broken,
as they flooded her cheeks

Shattered by a voice, from which,
she could never break free
And he whispered in her ears,
just like the buzzing bee

His voice was rough,
and his every word stung
Much like the devil himself,
he bore a forked tongue

He made her believe, that she,
would never be enough
And he insisted on making,
every day tough

He told her she was damaged,
unwanted and broken
Like a loose seam, she came undone,
with every word spoken

Her glossy green eyes,
behind luscious locks of gold
Fought an unfair war, against the lies,
her anxious mind told

It’s always a battle with you
I try to stand up, and you’re always there to kick me down again
You beat me down and I just lie there and take it
A right swing to my body image, an uppercut to my confidence

I’m never allowed to be happy
And God forbid I feel beautiful for once
You make me out to be this obnoxious person that nobody can stand
But I don’t see you with any friends, and no one’s coming to your defense

You tell me that I annoy all my friends and they’ll all betray me
Yet you never fail to be first in line for taking a swing at me
Always whispering in my ear and telling me that nobody has ever really liked me
But you have always been the first to bash me for being who I am

Maybe I’m really not all that bad
Maybe I’m really ******* fantastic
And maybe you’re just scared that I’ll figure it out and you’ll be forgotten
Because you’re nothing but an irrelevant voice constantly fighting to keep itself heard

You are the voice of my anxiety
You exist because I do
And without me, you are nothing
But without you, I can be happy

I am all you have
I give your voice life and I give it meaning
You are nothing but what I allow you to be
You say I’m nothing, but you are nothing without me

there are demons
feeding on my darkness
tasting my sins
hiding in my shadows
and whispering in my ear
I’m just having fun
and I don’t plan on stopping
so enjoy the feast

his words destroy me
he beats me till i'm blue
he knows i want to be free
he's stuck to me like glue

he stands on top of me when i'm down
even though he knows that i can't breathe
he swallows me up until i drown
his abuse is killing me

he laughs at me when i fall
when he's the one doing the tripping
he never lets me stand tall
its my self esteem that he's gripping

he tells me only lies
i have no choice but to listen
he tells me i'm growing a size
now my health's under demolition

he says nobody really likes me
he says i'm stupid and i'll fail
he laughs at every hopeful plea
he says i'll break my scale

he beats me till i'm black and blue
then he laughs if i bleed
i'm starting to think that it's all true
now i know i can't be freed

if i die
my problems die with me
if i'm gone
they won't even miss me

so why not?
it'll be breezy
kissing this **** goodbye
never felt so easy
step into the street
smiling so cheesy

throw my arms up
like Leonardo Di
wait for a pair of lights
and then just let it hit me
Lucifer is late
was supposed to come and get me
now i'm looking around
like "where the actual hell is he?"

my friends all think
that it happened too fast

they keep trying to tell me
that we'll never last

but when I'm with you
it just feels right

and never has someone
made me smile this bright

Darker than a starless sky,
Soft like raindrops on roses,
Sensing my silent cry,
Your love imposes,

Black cat in the night,
A shadow of the love I long to feel,
A shadow for a light,
An immoral appeal,

My obsidian soul,
Comforted by your dark affection,
Beauty black like coal,
My soul’s chance for resurrection,

My knight in silk smooth black,
My only protection,
My life, so far off-track,
An empty reflection,

Black ink,
In the pen of night,
Interlink,
Give forth light,

Green glowing eyes so glorious,
Gregariously guide me through the dark,
The journey ever so laborious,
But joy we shall embark

my anxiety had consumed me
i was looking for an out
my friends said you were the key
that, i didn't doubt

i was worried it could be risky
but my friends said it was time
said you worked better than whiskey
and you're taste was sublime

my friends all tried to claim
my troubles would be gone
soon like a moth to a flame
to you i was drawn

my confidence was frail
but my willingness had shifted
and with one deep inhale
my troubles were lifted

i was laughing and happy
and it all felt so great
my life had been really ******
you took away the pain, fear, and hate

why are you illegal
when you bless us so
you give us a feeling so regal
and let our smiles show

you remove all of our pain and hurt
to let us be happy for an hour
you pick our self esteems up out of the dirt
and let us appreciate the beauty in a flower

you allow us to appreciate
sight, smell, sound, touch and taste
as our lives depreciate
and more troubles are faced

our meeting was fateful
you let me be a happier me
i am forever grateful
for how you set me free

Tucked behind the golden locks,
that cascaded down her face
Were the footprints of dancing sunbeams,
that left freckles in their trace

And a pair of vibrant green eyes,
that flowed like twin creeks
Showed that she had been broken,
as they flooded her cheeks

Shattered by a voice, from which,
she could never break free
And he whispered in her ears,
just like the buzzing bee

His voice was rough,
and his every word stung
Much like the devil himself,
he bore a forked tongue

He made her believe, that she,
would never be enough
And he insisted on making,
every day tough

He told her she was damaged,
unwanted and broken
Like a loose seam, she came undone,
with every word spoken

Her glossy green eyes,
behind luscious locks of gold
Fought an unfair war, against the lies,
her anxious mind told

i think i was made, already broken
know every word that goes unspoken
keep it inside like holding the smoke in
choke on the words, and you'll be awoken

I’m sick of hearing my heart beating
It’s exhausting
I’m tired of breathing

I don’t want to be here
I’ll never **** myself
I just wish I could disappear

I’m tired of existing
I don’t want to be here anymore
Those thoughts that I’m resisting

I wish that I could unexist
I wish that death
Was not the only exit

I wish I could just walk away
I wish I could just leave
And my problems could just stay

I’m not cut out for this
Numbness and emptiness
Whatever happened to bliss?

We spark flames
To feel ecstatic
Our movements erratic
Our breathing like static
To forget we’re rheumatic
We overthink like quadratic
Now we’re sounding pneumatic
Take a hit
And now we’re behaving asthmatic
Like a real fade fanatic
Too ****** for pragmatic
Our mind’s like a dark attic
Where we hide our ****
When we don’t want them to know that we are back at it
Thinking like backward chromatic
Yeah, this **** is thematic
And it’s ******* dramatic
But it’s all schematic
for the bad habits of a using drug addict