The beat of my heart
drowns out the
s i l e n c e
while you invade my thoughts.
The waves crashing
       inside
of my body
spill out of each crevice
until I'm drowning in your love.
I'm taken to that rugged paradise
where it's just
me and you
feeding off of each other's desires
sinking into blissful oblivion,
Engaging in a passion of
the HIGHEST caliber.
I want to live in your arms,
and die in your eyes,
until the world fades
and it's just us
floating among the masses of stars.

She wraps herself up in a blanket
and tucks herself in at night.
So alone in the world,
as the cold creeps around her,
and anxiety possesses her body.

She's watched her sister poison her body
with candy from the gutters.
She's watched her mother paint her own wrists
with a knife.
She feels helpless and at times hopeless,
aching for a positive change and a chance to be free.

She sees the world beautifully
and that light burns inside and flickers in her eyes,
yet the pain she sees around her takes her hostage,
and drags her around like a puppet on a string,
and like other weary souls she slips through the cracks
of secondhand pain.

Strong in her confidence,
and confident in her strength,
she graces the world with **** wisdom.
The glow in her eyes matches the
simple beauty of a sunrise.
The art from her mouth
and the wisdom from her fingertips
educates my body and satisfies my mind.
We are an ******, philosophical collision,
as the world spins around us, blurry yet clear;
and the sacredness of the unknown shatters.
We are left breathing in beautiful, familiar air,
and with the touch of a kindred soul.

I want to bask in your presence,
and revel in your smile,
meditate in your peacefulness,
and sing with you a while.

I want to share with you your glories,
and weep with you your fails,
praise you in your Heaven,
and suffer with you in your Hell.

I want to observe you in your spotlight,
and draw the curtains when you're not,
Be your sidekick in your rebellion,
and lie for you when you're caught.

I'll greet you in the morning light,
with my blurred line of wants and needs,
If the Universe grants my wish,
so begins the journey of you and me.

A cornucopia of lies you freely fed to me,
and shoved the tainted, silver spoon down my throat,
You walked away,
and left me to choke on the ***** of your untruth.

You said you only wanted to protect me,
as you cowardly hovered your shield over yourself,
and your ******* covered bullets penetrated my heart,
driving me insane by my own sanity.

I suffocated in the shallow grave you tossed me in,
leaving me to bathe in the dirt,
and inevitably for my heart to decay and my soul to rot,
while you danced merrily atop of my tomb with your love.

I clawed my way out of the hell
that you imprisoned me in,
and stitched my mouth to keep out your lies,
becoming immortal against your torment.

Your poison tasting lips graze my own,
as you regret the treachery you bestowed on me,
but I hold a glimmering spoon in one hand,
and am whistling as I dig your grave.

Twinkling fireflies,
In the midnight heat,
Cool blades of grass,
As moisture hangs in the air.

Brittle branches claw the sky
Mourning the leaves,
fluttering beneath,
As a  hazy moon hovers above.

Periwinkle nights framed in gray,
Bedazzling crystals sprinkle down,
The world is silent,
As a thick blanket cleanses the ground.

A pastel palette,
Brings life to the trees,
The earth is reborn again,
As a gentle breeze magically blows.

The sweet, toxic smell of her perfume
like poisonous berries
seeps through my veins,
saturates my heart,
and floats in my memory,
like that last sip of wine
before the haze.
Rocking my inner being
and tickling my carnal sensations,
until my body is as awake
as my soul is.
Cradled in her lingering scent
until it wafts away as she does,
leaving me lifeless on the floor.

The bravest one of all
is the girl who ties on an invisible cape,
and dances around her troubles
as if she's blind to her struggles.

Climbing towards her dreams
on broken glass,
and digging out the ****** shards
one piece at a time.

Scars are the road maps on her skin
showing her how far she's come,
Never gliding on freshly paved roads,
always climbing up the rugged mountains.

But she tastes the rain,
and she feels the wind,
never numbing herself to
the disasters in her life.

When she reaches the top,
her strength will allow her to
fly with the most majestic of eagles
with a bandaged wing, so that she never forgets.

A horrid jealousy invades my heart
because I can't accept the harsh reality
that I am not yours,
A flood of tears sweeps my outer soul
and I recognize my non-existence
as the razor is pushed deeper;
inserted directly into
my soft, tangle of emotions.
You hang my heart on a leash
and drag it on the ground.
But why do you lead me on?
only to melt sugar in the rain,
Look at you...
knotting my stomach
and withering my soul.
Why can't I let go?
Maybe if I cared more
about myself than I do you.
But I don't.

Resting on the window sill
I gaze into the darkness,
peeling at my thoughts,
inhaling the sweetness of the Summer air.
A purple lightning strikes the sky,
and the thunder whispers,
as the clouds break away.
The warm drops cleanse my skin,
and fill the air with the aroma of newly cut grass.
I count the stars with my journal in hand,
recording my deepest wishes.
And once I'm finished,
the words seem briskly blown away into the Heavens,
each attaching to a star.
I close my eyes
as the calm storm sings me to sleep.

Too young for marriage
too old to stay with mom & dad.
But she hopped a bus following him West
and gave up all she had.

Skinny dipping in the salty sea
Infatuation in a rusty car
Plaid shirts and promises,
he was a thief that stole her heart

He gave her two babies
but she always felt alone,
between those wood paneling walls
his explosive temper was shown.

Beer bottles and ashtrays.
Tumbleweeds and sand.
Black, blue, and purple
painted by his hand.

So weak for so long,
she would cower in fear
Until she saw her children's faces,
filled with confusion and stained from tears

She left with just the clothes on her back
and two babies clinging to her hand
following the sunrise in the East
going home to mom & dad.

Soft  yellow sunrise
my first morning waking up
looking into your eyes

Lying still in the moment
to soak it all in
a calm beating heart & an unscathed grin

Wrinkled sheets and messy hair
sipping fresh coffee
in a chipped-paint chair

A new beginning & the feeling of home
making sense of the past
and my journey alone

It lead me to your smile, which lead me to your kiss
and being wrapped in your angel wings
in a night of heavenly bliss

This morning I found my purpose
and I hope to see 1000 more
soft yellow sunrises streaming in behind your door

She hid behind a shiny smile
showing the world what they wanted to see
but always a prisoner inside her own body
chained to blood and bones

It won her praise
and it won her glory
Roses bloomed around her
while her soul withered inside

All the sparkly things lost their sparkle
when she stopped writing her own story
It was then in the moment of frailty
she realized she left herself behind somewhere along the way

The porcelain cracked and a brave woman broke through
stitching her heart and emptying her mind
of the stranger that had taken over
and the pain that had sustained

Beginning again vulnerable and naked
trembling with both excitement and fear
Praying that the world would accept her
as she introduced that girl that had been hidden for so long

Stones were thrown
and enemies crawled out of their alleys
attempting to drag her down
and crush her new found dreams

But a force field of love and acceptance
from those special souls that always knew who she was
carried her on it's shoulders
not allowing her to lay back down

A garden of confidence and self-love grew inside her
A hero was reborn
and so was the jolly
that had died with her long ago

Her smile is authentic now
and it shines brighter than ever before
A natural light that heals all who
are illuminated in it's glowing path

Merry songs escape her lips
and effervescent words flow from
her fingertips to the blank paper
as roses bloom inside of her

She's a prisoner no more.

Always  in the spotlight,
but coddled by the darkness
A bright, colorful flower
that never wanted to bloom
She pulled the sheer, black curtains
over her eyes,
welcoming the night
An arrow shooting into the Midnight moon
swallowed whole by wicked sin
Flirting with the Devil
and soaking in the evil serum
She turned her face away from
the beacon in the night
never to return again
Leaving to the world
just a ghost of a little girl

We wander around this world
For years as
Strangers in our own bodies
Until we're blindsided
By that special soul we meet, an important essence in our life that
Shapes us, molds us, and helps us find ourself by unknowingly extracting the passion from our veins
And shooting it blindly towards the stars.

You tell her you love her
she says "I know I can see it in your eyes"
you look into hers and beneath the aqua blue
you can see she loves you too.

But she won't say it. She just turns her head and bites her lip.
She's not supposed to say it.
Willpower is something I strip off nonchalantly baring my naked soul
she zips hers up and holds it tight, she's not ready to be free

You share a visible yet impassable love
a beautiful gift kept tied in a bow, never for the world to open
Two stars floating in the universe meant to collide
yet always passing each other by
Chemically balanced, but time is never on your side

The sparks fly spitting out flames
but never catching fire
All that remains is a shorted circuit
because she never could be free.

I gave up everything just to be with you
and ended up losing it all.
You flung your narcissistic charm at me
and my heart caught every bit of it willingly
like a young girl hungry for the spotlight

Kisses, roses, and promises you handed me
The kisses were shared, the roses they died,
and the promises were lies.
You lured me in with your big brown eyes
leaving me breathless and wanting more
You gave me more and then you took it away
and I fell to my knees in anguish.

A love that was doomed from the beginning
but I took that blind leap anyways believing in magic and trust
You betrayed that naïve girl who wore her heart on her sleeve
and left her to rot in the dust

I sulked in my bed sheets, craving death
peeking over the covers awaiting the grim reaper
It was a tragic year.
But then I started to grow
and I started to heal.
The world suddenly seemed so clear.
I fell in love with another face...that face looking back in the mirror.

I gave everything up. I lost it all. But I finally gained me.

First I met your soul..
It was a thunder-filled vortex, ******* me inside
before I could defy the gravity of it's pull.
There was no time to look. I was there. Inside your soul.
Inhabiting it.
Feeling it billow all around me like a heavy smoke.
Swallowed up by your unmitigated love.
Then I met your eyes...
They matched the color of  perfect exhilaration of your soul.
They danced around inside me like a gust of flurries released in a January storm.
Covering me even deeper.
Then I met your skin...
1000 strikes of lightning burning inside.
Desperate bodies clinging to each other in a swirl of madness,
an undeniable spark that is too vast even for perpetuity.
I know your skin.
I know your eyes.
I know your soul.

I saved up all my butterflies
and put them in a jar.
Soft and steady searching.
No aggression.
Only a girl aware of the flutters that whirled by.
With one cupped hand I fill my jar.
Sealing the top to prevent majestic escape,
but giving air, and the capability to flit.
One glorious day, I willingly hand you my jar.
Gentle release.
Butterflies float.
Butterflies fly.
A plethora of colors swirling in the atmosphere.
A new world.
A new start.
Intoxicating beauty.
Time.
Distance.
Rainbow fading fast.
Melting into the promise of night.
Dark.
Cold.
Empty jar.
Alone.
The jar is shattered.
Jagged shards sparkle in the dirt.
The remains of hope and patience.
New jar. Fill it up. Suffocated beauty.
Goodbye trust.
I'm left with an eternal jar of carcasses.