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Luna Jay Apr 18
Sunshine, Birdsong;
Early morning breeze.
Quiet.
The comedown off of loud sound
that was the night before.
Psychedelic fizzles that sizzle the mind-
This I've begun to adore.
George,
offering me a warm smile & friendly breakfast-
The beginning of sound.
Midday found,
the hippies begun to emerge.
A surge of smoke sent up into the sky.
Oh my,
So merry that I could
Party with the Pranksters.
The Danksters,
the dabbers,
the peace lovin' blissful blabbers.
A family of freaks
that speaks to me
And this love that I've been after.
Apr 18 · 52
High Flyin' Birdman
Luna Jay Apr 18
Traveling into cities with strange names-
plane games.
Lame day-
The one in between the hotel and airport
In short, traveling away from home.
Roam- walking unknown streets.
Talking with strangers I meet
Down to freak and fly in my sleep
To the next town.
Head down on the bus that flies
Cut ties from connecting to strangers
in the mode of travel.
Heavy lust of hassle
Tassel on a suitcase
Made by a company based back home.
Can't be in the same place for too long
Built to wander,
Built to ponder the beauty of everywhere.
Easily done between towns in a plane chair.
Dare to fly; Take to the sky,
Birdman.
7- 16 - 19
Apr 17 · 37
Condoms & Chicken
Luna Jay Apr 17
Yes, I'm finger lickin'
Keep me in the kitchen,
Cause *****, I'm a snack.
Hit me from the back
Make that ***** clap
And as soon as I **** your sap
You can buy me a bucket of grease.
I stay down on my knees
I aim to please.
Easy when you're ******
Slutty.
Need a nut busting buddy.
Get me off and leave me alone
in the nicest way possible.
Touching myself after tossing you out
Because the lust is just unstoppable.
7-16-19
May 2019 · 217
Old but Gold
Luna Jay May 2019
Old dinosaur man go sniff
Spit on three fingers so that I can have a kiss.
No, doctorosaurus- this isn't a hit
It's been a miss since long ago.
Slow; she's waiting on you.
Reptilian creature, fixer of blue
Imagines my groove to soothe himself.
There is no sedating the truth-
You want to use this.
**** little temptress
In a skintight sundress.
I'm a hot mess
And you want me.
Epidermal- under your skin
So easily.
May 2019 · 277
Nature's Whore
Luna Jay May 2019
Craving attention from the sunshine-
How divine it is
To not be dicked down.
Frowned upon- now that I'm
Of age.
Depraved;
In the dustiest of ways.
Parting ways with
Hazed days
Laced with lust.
Trading them in
For sanity-
The only thing I can trust.
Rusting away
Waiting for someone to
Touch me.
Mar 2019 · 218
Still Here-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
The sun plummets into pools
Of fleshy humanity.
The pollution sinks
Into the streets of the city.
The flames,
Lapping at the skin
Melting off of
My hollow structure.
But still, I will stand tall.
The memory of you
Still branded on the insides
Of my eyelids.
Mar 2019 · 209
What You Don't Need-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
My rhymes, they chime.
The truth between the lines.
My time, short lived.
Inside of my mind;
I’m grime.
I want my scrubbing bubbles-
My troubles always double when you
Try to wash me away.
And I, will always stay.
An ancient crime of whine
I shall present to you.
But what would it matter?
You always play the victim of abuse,
And misuse.
You dilute the minute
Necessities you think you don’t need.
But when they’re gone,
You find it hard to breathe.
Mar 2019 · 226
Euphoric Eternity-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
You tell me I’m your wild child.
The wind blows through your unwashed hair,
As you flash a warm smile my way
Over your shoulder.
You led me to the top of our mountain.
You wrapped your entire being around my smile
And hold it there in your
Euphoric eternity.
We watch the sunset slip into the earth,
Both of us entwined in your divine state of nature.
The secrets of the universe
Laced within your eyelashes,
A testimony of humanity shakes
Within your veins.
Against the grain,
You question authority.
And together we journey
Into the unknown territory.
Mar 2019 · 406
Unknown for Now-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I know that it seems completely illogical to fall so hard
For someone who’ve never even met before.
But, that’s where I’ve always lost everyone.
I have met him;
I did know him.
I did love him..
In fact, I think I still do.
He was a complete goofball.
It didn’t matter what we were talking about,
I always had a big cheesy grin
Plastered on my face.
He could always make me laugh,
He could always lift my spirits.
And he always helped build my self confidence.
He never had to say such sweet things to me.
But it seemed as though it occurred naturally.
No one had told me I was beautiful;
Until him.
It brought me to tears.
Mar 2019 · 197
Bye Babe-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
You promised you’d never let go;
You promised a lifetime.
Standing there and holding her
As if I’m completely blind.
He thought he could hurt me,
But I am completely fine.
I’ve been with a cheater,
A beater,
A super overachiever…
Now I need some me time-
Some bubble bath and chai tea time.
No reason to shave time-
I am fine with who I am.
Mar 2019 · 236
Secret Superpower
Luna Jay Mar 2019
Tell no one about this cape.
It could be a way to escape.
All you have to do
Is cover yourself.
Lay down in silence-
And pretend that
Everything outside
Of our door, this violence
Has been nothing more
Than a dream.
Just breathe,
And take your mind
Somewhere else.
Mar 2019 · 152
Yes I-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
Cure the death.
Instill fresh breath
Bring him back,
Good god,
Bring him back.
Send my soul to him.
Ascend.
Defend my love
For a ghost boy.
Mar 2019 · 354
She-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
This town is too dark for picnics,
But it’s just perfect for skinny dipping.
Just dark enough to accept
Your body image.
Your bumps, blemishes, rolls and curves.
The intestines swerved,
Our skin merged,
And you can only
Find your love for me in the darkest of towns.
I miss the bright lights that used to greet me-
But now I like it better when the moon meets me.
Mar 2019 · 106
Descendants of Humanity-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I stood and watched
The final sunset
As the world was ending.
Light that once
Would fall is now
Ascending.
And blending its way
Into the crevices
Of my cracking lips.
I’m sinking ships
And burning down
All of my bridges-
Ripping out all of my stitches.
Counting down all of my wishes
That always refused to silence themselves.
It’s slipping away-
The words,
The memories… the smells.
They try to stay
But they melt away.
I’m clawing my way
Back into the descendants of humanity.
Mar 2019 · 144
Free Fallin-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
One last time I look around,
As I’m lifting off of the ground.
Saying goodbye to the birds and the bees-
Floating above Ross’ Happy Trees.
I am pleased.
I’m being released.
No more captivity
On the big blue marble.
A balloon cut from its string,
I rise until I hit
Invisible walls.
The sky is the
Only place I have left
To fall.
Mar 2019 · 668
Built to Last-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
No government,
No harsh intent-
Rock hard words
Become intimate.
No authority,
No center of peace-
No hate,
No mistakes,
No ******,
No ****.
No inequalities-
No more mouths to feed…
And it sounds like a joke
When I think of
The world as perfect.
Is it even worth it
If it’s not built to last?
Mar 2019 · 195
Speaking Freak-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
My sixth sense slips
Through parted lips.
I started swaying my hips
To the melodic motion
Of my words.
Moving to my meaning-
Standing here, silently screaming.
I am gleaming
With tears that run down my cheeks-
Vulnerable to anyone
Doing the dance of my inner freak.
I leak compassion and
Become myself.
Mar 2019 · 219
Who Are You?-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
The reason you cannot pass is the same as the last.
You are blocking yourself from moving forward
And dwelling in the past.
A mirror image of your flaws.
Physical science-
That unlawful law.
And your reflection is the one who saw
That you are stuck behind the glass
Of who you make yourself out to be.
But you…
You’re just not who you see yourself as.
And your reflection has known for
Its entire existence.
Mar 2019 · 175
Villain-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
As the story came to a close,
I realized I was the villain all along.
After all the galiant heros were gone.
After the curtain had closed off the stage-
After the sun had run away.
I was left alone
For all the hair to grey.
For the sun to fade,
For all of the stars
To burn away.
I was the reason
For the change of the season.
The reason in this
Season of treason.
After all of this time,
I’d been the bad guy.
And they strung me up
And left me here to dry.
Mar 2019 · 116
Why Do I Stay?-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I just need some time away
To remember why I stay.
I dig my grave- a lifeless slave.
Busting away at earth
With my plague
Of words.
Build me up
To shoot me down
In the street with everyone watching.
You cannot **** the idea of peace,
Only the people who march
To its immaculate tune.
Leeching off of teachings
Of those who fought
These same battles
Before us-
In yesterday's’ pages of history.
You cannot ban words
From the herds
In a country that advertises
Freedom of speech.
The summer peach
Is turning grey.
Can you tell me
Why I stay?
Mar 2019 · 101
Flying Shoe-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
No one was even aware of its existence,
But when it sounded out,
We all knew.
It dazzled the audience from the air
As it flipped
And flew.
Ensued laughter
And giddy afternoons
Under the amber hue of summer.
I stand under;
The man in the flying shoe.
Mar 2019 · 165
Burning Inferno-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
She came with a face and a name,
But no soul.
She replaced it with all of the
Hearts she stole.
Kept them in  the freezer-
So they wouldn’t mold.
She silently stalked
The world.
She came with
No man to hold-
But she let her own
Story unfold.
And truth be told?
I don’t think she
Liked men in that way,
Regardless.
She came with figure
Not pulled from a
Mold.
She was the black sheep
Society would try
And scold.
They all thought
She was ******
And cold-
But my baby
Is a burning inferno.
Mar 2019 · 123
Forever Changing-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I am simply existing;
In this constant state of becoming,
I am forever changing.
And for that,
I am forever grateful.
For how boring would the world be
If we never allowed our minds to evolve and adapt?
How can we be so ignorant in thinking
That our experiences won’t change us?
If I come out of this life as the same person I was going into it,
Then something went awfully wrong.
Mar 2019 · 168
Burrowing-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I’m hiding myself again.
I don’t mean to,
It’s just easier to not deal
With relationships
Amongst others.
I can only take on my stress,
And I’ve been trying to teach myself that
For years.
It’s not that I don’t know that it’s unhealthy,
I think that it’s more habitual.
Which is pretty horrid,
That I’ve already formed this habit of self isolation.
But it’s so much easier to deal with.
I’d rather have no friends at all
Than a chance of losing them.
Mar 2019 · 87
Porcelain Man-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
He might be beautiful and porcelain,
But is he worth being hurt again?
I know he could be different,
But who isn’t?
He touched me.
Violated me.
Made me feel ugly on the inside.
The soft velveteen skin and
Pouty lips had no persuasive
Effect on him.
It was the maggots he caused..
Rotted my intestines-
Turned them to mushy soup
Too thick to slurp with a straw.
It was like it turned him on.
And I didn’t want to care,
But his ******* was caused by my pain.
He wanted to watch me bleed,
And rot,
And beg, as I was gasping for air,
For the sweet release of death
Or looser ropes and chains..
No.
When I couldn’t take any more,
When my face was purple
And my eyes were bulging
And his hand was still gripping my throat..
Bruised from the time before and red with irritation,
That’s when his ******* was massive.
It has taken years
And I still cannot convince myself that
All men are not like that.
Mar 2019 · 996
Healthy Care
Luna Jay Mar 2019
What’s wrong with the Big Pharma?
Controlling governments
Ruthlessly consolidate
The elite
Who are able to afford
Basic health care.
Severe side effects
Detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
Taking painkillers
Has caused an epidemic
That’s part of a sinister plan
To squeeze yet more profit
Out of a system designed to
Keep human beings chronically unhealthy.
Vaccines too often have had the opposite effect,
Exponentially increasing illness,
Causing irreversible damage,
And even taking lives of our sick brotherhood.
Population suspect that it is now
Being used as a weapon of mass destruction
To effectively depopulate the earth.
Mar 2019 · 175
Closer to my Closure
Luna Jay Mar 2019
Listen closer
To the sound of my closure.
It’s hardly noticeable,
But then again,
I’ve always been invisible to you all.
It’s trivial;
Not knowing where you’re headed,
But still seeing the seven layers of hell
You walked out of alive.
I have third degree burns
Soiling my memories-
I spent all of my time
Spoiling the enemies,
And now,
My time runs thin and frail.
My creativity has gone stale.
I’m sick,
I’m pale,
And yet my silence keeps me
Golden.
Mar 2019 · 97
7:18 A.M.-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
No one can put a number on my love-
Though many have tried.
No diamond rings or shiny things,
Could ever change my views,
Of how I feel and what I think and
How I dream of you.
Seasons change; cold wind and rain-
Flowers wilt and die.
Spring again, I blossom then;
And you are by my side.
Always you speak to me,
So elegant and true.
Always captivate me with your soul-
Radiating indigo hues.
Mar 2019 · 54
5:15 A.M.-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I stay drawn to you,
My cosmic lover.
Leave it to the moon and sun
To tango in time
Across the same divine
Starry nights and dreamsicle mornings
Only rarely stopping to greet
One another face to face.
And everyone watches.
A hello so strong,
Strangers in the street
Take to looking at the sky,
Cursing the clouds
When they get in our way
Of a splendid mid-morning
Or a swell midnight.
My moonlight…
It brings me back to you.
Mar 2019 · 140
7:42 P.M.-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
I will always feel the same-
About you.
Everything changes; the places,
The arrangements…
But I will always feel the same-
About you.
Boys break my heart,
The world falls apart…
And I will always feel the same-
About you.
My health may be failing,
And my mind, derailing…
But I will always feel the same-
About you.
The same four corners
With no one to adorn her…
And she will always feel the same-
About you.
I still wonder if I cross your mind at all...
Mar 2019 · 155
4:45 A.M.-
Luna Jay Mar 2019
A degree of change,
A degree you hang.
A degree they name-
It’s still a piece of paper.
A life you rearrange,
A plan you re-stage.
A relationship you disengage-
Can’t it wait until later?
A stress you carry,
A debt you marry.
A burden you bury-
Under the paper weight of books.
A dreamer made dreary,
A wanderer made weary.
A question or a theory-
Could they be the crooks?
okay colleges, but did you really have to waste all that paper to tell me ya don't want me? I got it. Not for everyone.
Mar 2019 · 141
Doubled Up
Luna Jay Mar 2019
The kids are dying.
Their Momma is crying.
And sellin’ her soul to hell
For lying.
Saying it’s okay,
Momma will find a way.
Knowing **** good and well she can’t
Find the pay.
Selling her body on the
Side of the street
Just so her babies will have
Something to eat.
Hanging her head in defeat.
This type of lifestyle is difficult.
She knows she can’t afford
These medical bills.
Can’t afford anymore
Anxiety pills.
A lifetime full
Of cheap thrills.
The looks from her babies
Were enough to ****…
When she told them that
Only the rich could afford good health.
Jan 2019 · 179
11:11-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Indigo child
Hair flowin wild
I ask you to stay
And you disappear awhile.
Indigo lover
I don’t want to smother
I’ll stay away,
My heart breaks undercover.
Indigo go
I go solo
For a man who doesn’t want me
Frisky; I glow ***
Indigo mild
Your words are filed
In my head as I please.
Will I cross denial?
Indigo other
From another mother.
You make it hard to say
Do I love you only as a brother?
Indiglo bo
Loves me more, tho.
He loves to eat
And the love game is a low blow.
Jan 2019 · 222
9:07 P.M.-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Bruised- I think of you;
I feel abused by the misuse
Of your degrading words.
Used- I’m feeling blue;
The hues you paint with are absurd.
I’m a masterpiece of my very own-
No excuses needed from you.
A woman recently grown-
I’ve been born anew.
Your ******* no longer chains me,
You cannot rearrange me.
I’m feeling so free lately-
Now that I’ve called a truce.
Jan 2019 · 192
He's Unknown-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
A Rose-
I opened myself to you.
Not yet deflowered,
Only… depowered.
Knocked down a few notches
To nothingness.
A prose-
Roping myself to you.
Never empowered,
Always soured.
Locked frowns drowning in
Paint swatches of ugliness.
Muddiness.
I never liked your artwork
Anyway.
You create to abuse,
To use,
And to trade.
You threw me away…
And now your garbage can
Is much more glamorous
Than your gal is.
Jan 2019 · 1.2k
3:11 A.M.
Luna Jay Jan 2019
The environmental fade.
This industrial plague-
The materialistic rage that keeps
Our very society intact.
The plastic facade
Of man made hate,
Minutemaid trade
One minute after the attacks.
Against who today?
Who is to blame?
For this unending, cyclical
Societal maiming
Of the people who do not
Follow in your tracks?
Brothers,
Take a step back.
Look at what you´ve created.
This angry, killing war machine
Whose views are simply outdated.
Constructing thoughts that decompose,
Weight of words made the herds feel emaciated.
Society is crumbling and you’re concerned
With feeling validated?
Social media leave you exposed
And aggravated.
Jan 2019 · 274
4:13 P.M.
Luna Jay Jan 2019
We planted the forest to hide one tree.
We our drowning our fish to flood polluted seas.
Brothers, capturing others does not self free.
Mother Earth is dying. Sisters, hear her pleas.
Constructing iceboxes to contract the big freeze.
Cloning our society; the big keyhole squeeze.
Cancer floats in the air- Doctors begin to wheeze.
Father Time…
Look at what you´ve done to me.
Jan 2019 · 235
7:04 P.M.
Luna Jay Jan 2019
A dark star,
In white light.
Undone scars;
By nightlight
I feel far.
Removed from the
One I crave-
Lung of tar-
Breath of insight.
Lept to Mars
In the spot of
The limelight.
Green of stars,
Lead me back to
Hindsight-
In this journey,
No path is paved.
Jan 2019 · 122
5:23 A.M.
Luna Jay Jan 2019
None for one,
A fun dance for many.
I´ve always been different,
Abundance more than plenty.
But for this, I´d been shunned,
And this stayed true.
Rambled on alone
Until I had found you.
A fine florida boy-
Who understood why
I prefer shellfish to selfish.
One fish,
Two fish,
Red fish,
No Phish.
Jan 2019 · 246
11:37 P.M.
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Breathe.  
I think of him.
Not of those before,
Who I have left.
Dream… and
My mind dances
Over to the man
I haven’t
Met.
Free.
He does impossible
Things to my mind.
We will not yet
Mention
My body.
Scream-
I know he wants to
Make me.
Jan 2019 · 133
Sidewalks-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
When time ends,
Where will the sidewalks go?
The clocks stop ticking,
The wind won’t blow.
And where will I go?
Only unending time knows.
My feet will lead me
To the end of my journey.
Unwalked paths
Do not concern me.
No time or path shall ever define me.
I walk with the past facing behind me.
Jan 2019 · 220
Hush-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Don’t speak.
I was a freak to bleed in the sheets.
You keep going once our eyes meet.
Never knew this was you all along.
It has been the longest of weeks-
The thought of you makes me weak
With nausea.
I only weep.
Took and crumbled a woman so strong.
You leap from maternal figure
To paternal stickler-
You have Daddy issues because he’s rich
But won’t share.
How dare he not fund your white entitlement.
You curse when he tells you to brush your teeth
At night, because you can’t stand
The thought of someone caring for you
On a non-financial level,
And I’m the devil,
Because I won’t accept the monetary gifts.
You slip me this and that,
Skip the emotional derivative.
And gasp at the fact that
I’ve stopped putting in initiative.
Silly boy, I don’t need you.
A toy made to tease you.
Keep me on this collar,
But I’m the one who leads you.
Jan 2019 · 1.4k
Undeserving-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
He did not deserve me-
Though he ended up with me, out of pure loneliness
On one end,
And horiness on the other-
He didn’t deserve me.
I am a strong and free woman,
Head held high,
Walking proudly through the crowd
Of judgement.
He wanted to cage me,
To tame me.
Maim me when I misspoke
With the ****** misconduct
Of his ****.
Left his mess for me to mop
And drug his palm against my face
When I didn’t do it quick enough.
I’m into some sick and twisted stuff,
But that doesn’t mean I have to dedicate my life
To a sick and twisted person.
He saw an opportunity and abused it,
Completely.
Ruined a Led Zeppelin album
Because he needed quick pleasure.
A sin.
To me, it was torture
Beyond any measure.
There is no safeword to stop him
From using me that the repeated
Shouting of the word “no”
Shouldn’t override.
Sobs and dry heaving
And unlimited tears that darted down my cheeks
Every time he forced himself
Deeper inside of me
Couldn’t trump a measly “safeword”.
Sneering down at me,
Forcing my legs open
As he stole the one thing
I’d always asked him not to take away-
My trust in men as an entire gender.
And of course,
Something as simple as getting off quick
Could never seem that complicated,
That complex,
In his miniscule male mind.
He came and went-
Dipped to college,
Got with new girls after
Shaving his beard off once he left,
Revealing that he was still a boy
All along.
Under the dad *** of the year
And sneer that was covered
In ****** hair,
Starred a scared boy
Right back at me.
He drinks to numb his pain
While I’m back at home with
A broken liver.
And it’s more of a slap in the face
Than finding out earlier
That he was cheating on me
The entire time
Anyway.
Stings.
More than the quick slaps
Across the face
I’d receive for
Disrespecting him.
He texts me-
On the day my crush,
My other half that I’ve yet to meet
Sends me an update on his life.
Cuffed in Mississippi
For a plant.
Mississippi-
The same place my sister went
After getting strung out.
The place I was at
When my little survivor pup
Was hit by a pickup.
There’s nothing good
In the big Miss.
Only terrible roads and greasy food.
On the other end, the runaway ******
Was telling me he was trying to
“Better himself”.
Asked if we were okay,
And then proceeded to make the conversation
About himself,
As he’d proudly done so many times before.
How stealth-
Can’t find a better man, she lies.
Hands tied,
Just like i’d asked you to,
But more than that.
In my mind, as well.
You’ll rot in hell
For what you did to me.
No, I didn’t go after him.
No, I didn’t tell anyone at first.
No, I never told his college.
What the **** would you even go to college
In Ohio for?
Cornologist?
No, I didn’t pursue him further after…
It.
Karma is my friend.
And I have all the time in the world,
Curing myself,
Not drinking myself to death
And sleeping with every man
Big enough to swing his **** around.
I’m bettering myself, too.
Even if I’m not allowing him to see.
Jan 2019 · 397
Hospital Whore-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
X-rays always made her feel like a model,
The doctor always taking her pictures.
She always posed.
Every imperfection, every flaw in her porcelain skin,
They refused to overlook.
They had to inspect her,
Make sure she wasn’t contagious.
“Drink this, eat that, take these.
Let us shove tubing down your throat
So we can find you another pill”
And she was absolutely sick and tired
Of all of the rules and tubes and wires
And people she didn’t know touching all over her,
Making her feel
“Better”
It made her feel exposed.
Cold.
Like she was some
******* bunny for a physical health magazine.
Her nostrils were stained with
The strong scent of hand sanitizer.
And she couldn’t keep the hospital food down,
And the shower was always freezing cold…
But at least they could make her feel
“Better”
Erasing the taste of
Copper anorexia at the back of her throat,
She’s just an experiment.
Jan 2019 · 168
Caving Inward-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
All of this time, I felt so claustrophobic;
The walls are caving in on me.
But, I’d never tell anyone.
No, no…
My home and chest and mind and
Sanity can all cave in,
And I won’t say a ****** thing.
I am sick of missing myself.
I’m right here, I’m just…
Asleep.
I stumble over my own two feet
Like some blind traveler,
Lost on these same roads I’ve walked
Forever.
And maybe, just maybe,
This time I’ll actually wake up
On the count of three.
Maybe then, it’ll finally make sense.
The walls were never caving in.
They were floating away.
They’re gone.
There is no four corners that I will
Allow to define me.
I am nothing and everything all at once..
I am whatever the stars
Wish to see me as.
I am only worth the thoughts I leave
Here on this planet.
Jan 2019 · 387
Leaves and Long Sleeves-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
I can’t breathe-
But I can wear long sleeves.
I can’t look
To the tumbling leaves
Without being reminded
Of my cracking psychiatric state
That his name leaves me in.
I can’t smile,
But I can blame it on
Being “under the weather”
Like it’s some sort of
Dizzy spell that disintegrates
My fake smiles and
Social interactions.
Another year I watch the leaves lose their hair,
Being stripped completely vulnerable
In public,
Just the way he left me.
Another year I spend my birthday alone.
Another year I don’t have a date to the fair.
It’s unfair…
Another year I will be purposely outcast
At friendly functions.
Another year I’ll be questioned
As to why I stay at home all of the time.
Another year I’ll spend alone in my own mind.
Another year;
Closer to death.
Happy ******* birthday.
Jan 2019 · 207
Tears are Burning-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
I’m suffering.
Tears of gasoline, beaded down my cheeks.
And Darling, your kisses are the firepower.
You want to see how long I can stand to suffer
Without speaking?
Honey, keep preaching to the choir.
I refuse to speak,
In fear that I will choke on my own words-
Infused with negativity and
Melancholy blues you used to
Sing to me.
That subtle, lackadaisical smile
That got me to fall so hard in the first place
Means nothing to me now.
You’re artistically numbing my creativity
With those vacant eyes…
I used to see the sunset in them,
And now,
I can only see your
Tilted and twisted views on society
And the love ones who surround you.
You may be blind and wounded,
But at least the old dog can smell
That I am indeed,
In heat.
Jan 2019 · 135
Ripped Wings-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Falling out of flight,
Falling into night;
These wings were never meant to save me…
They’re just a faulty accessory.
It’s surreal,
How much the stars remind me
Of your skin.
Pale and porcelain.
Out of your lips, called ugly.
Seen by my eyes, beauty.
You shine against black canvas.
But the stars, they’re burning…
And yet,
You’ve always stayed so frore…
So completely alone.
You are such a magnificent specimen.
It’s viceral- I want you.
I want your stupid opinions,
That nonchalant, aloof and lackadaisical attitude you host,
Your soft, sweet lips,
Fleshed out into reality,
And pressed against mine.
But it’s too dangerous.
A love like this is far too dangerous.
And your eyes have yet to meet mine.
I’ve yet to exist.
I’m not here.
Jan 2019 · 138
MacFish-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
Heathen cat,
Atop my Mac.
You’re feral
And losing teeth.
A fever from your scratch,
A heap of furry black.
Flicks his tail and tongue to greet me.
Meet me
In the chatroom.
A real cat-fish
I presume,
The squawk box amuses me.
Yellow eyes and painted ears,
He types away at all his fears.
I fell in love with a stranger;
A true online catfish he’d been
For years.
Jan 2019 · 277
Nowhere, Man-
Luna Jay Jan 2019
He walked down the road
To nowhere.
Nothingness in his eyes,
Honey in his hips…
As he’s waltzing away from me.
And he’s empty.
He’s not going to get very far
Without speaking to me.
Needs it more than he knows.
It’s just that he
Is a staggering bound
Of emotion,
And he’s beginning to see
I’m the only one who understands them;
And that scares him.
So he runs away,
To nowhere.
The final form of destination has never
Truly mattered,
He just wants to prove
The absolute power
Wrong.
I can’t stop his destructive cycle-
I can’t save him from his own actions.
Everyone knows this to be true,
But no one seems to enforce
The fact that
You can’t be everyone's hero.
And I was never trying to be.
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