If he was anything
(Other than himself)
He would want to be a book
Resting on a shelf
He wanted to be a story
Told by a person who knew him well
He wanted to be all the character
Who didn't have any flaws
He wanted to be perfect
The best character you ever saw!
This man was fooled into believing a lie
A lie he had been told all his life
Anybody can be flawless
But with that logic,
All your flaws are amplified
Please believe me when I say
That I made his story true
He was the antagonist
He was the bad guy
But he wanted all the right things
The only thing he did wrong
Was believing in a lie.
HIIII! This is another character in my book. He is the lovely villain in my story. THANK YOU, Will Clark ( a person who made my life quite hard to live in school) for inspiring my antagonist, William O'Bane. Even though I despise you, you have helped me in ways you can't know. (Joke's on you now!)
I’m living with a corpse.
That’s a realization that I never wanted to admit, I believed that the person I used to be was just buried deep down inside of me. That all it would take is for me to dig far enough and that guy would still be there.
I never dreamed that I had buried a body.
A body that needed oxygen, and food, and water and the simplest of things to survive. I killed that guy the moment that I decided I was too tired to dig, too tired to find him, and to be honest too tired to give a ****.
I am so angry.
I’m angry at being ****** over. I’m angry that I can’t have a drink.
Now I am self destructive, taking any semblance of positivity and emotional attachment and attacking it like a virus and I am white cells. I see someone willing to put out something for me, and I strategically tear it down until I’m standing in the ashes because picking through rubble is easier now than opening up.
I’m the enemy of me, and I act like the world is out for my blood while I hold a ****** palm out and a knife in the other hand.
My mentality has been so skewed that people’s thoughts and feelings don’t matter anymore, because in my ****** up mind they are going to leave.
How ****** is that?
How ****** is that fact that even food doesn’t taste the same as it used to? That even the colors are no longer bright and “there” like they used to be. When your laying in bed at night and trying to think of one thing that made the day different from all the others.
No joy is left.
No “looking on the bright side”, or thinking that everything is going to be ok.
All that’s left is a corpse.
All that’s left is blood on my hands.
And I can’t even remember where I buried the body.
How come no-one ever pulls for the bad guy. He's just out there doing what we all wanna do: Being self-interested, self-imposing, self-actualising, carefree, and ego-maniacle.
Really he's the hero- making destiny manifest by his own hands; the spiritual successor of the settlers and explorers, who just happens to have run out of room.
Is it not those do-gooder heros who are villians, for real, by forcing these noble individuals to abandon their dreams and fall back in line, with threats of violence, persecution, and hard time. They are the very embodiment of fascism, through and through.
So lets here it for the bad guys who keep the world sane, by showing us were all humans, one and the same.
So three cheers for evil!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
And I wonder
Whether I am
A good person or
A bad person
I wish no harm in anybody
Yet I have caused harm to them
And I live with the guilt
Of my conscience
Of the sin of a betrayal
And despite the efforts to do good
Am I going to be stuck making mistakes that hurt people
If so..it would be easier
For everyone If
I cease to exist
But that would be running away
My mouth speaks before my brain, and now I'm stuck with the consequences..and now I'm scared if I'll keep being bad even if I make the effort to do good
he is beautiful
he is bad
he's my crucible
he is sad
he makes me happy
but now he's gone
why'd he leave
it was all a con
Really, we are supposed to be seen
but all we ask is,
how’s this volume? too loud?
ill love you again and again without fail
but it's not enough is it?
love doesn't fix wounds
and I haven't got the patience to watch you heal.
As the story came to a close,
I realized I was the villain all along.
After all the galiant heros were gone.
After the curtain had closed off the stage-
After the sun had run away.
I was left alone
For all the hair to grey.
For the sun to fade,
For all of the stars
To burn away.
I was the reason
For the change of the season.
The reason in this
Season of treason.
After all of this time,
I’d been the bad guy.
And they strung me up
And left me here to dry.
I don't like mustaches and you remembered
You kept it till last December
When you knew you'd see me one last time
You dropped out of highschool for an extra dime
My friends say you're not good for me
And I understand
A dropout and the girl with the principal as her biggest fan
But I live for the moments we have together
From Subway dates to running home in bad weather
My friends don't get how happy I am
How I understand that you aren't a good guy, but not a bad man
You have a warrant out for your arrest
But I sometimes fail my tests
We all have our bad things, we regret and don't flaunt
But you are not one of mine, and I'm of yours I hope not
A bad analogy I understand, but take a moment to see what you can
He's a sweetheart and a charmer for sure
But he loves me for me and that's pure
I dont get guys like that much if at all these days
And I know he means good intentions in all of his ways
As bad as they may be
And my friends remind me
We mustn't judge a book from the cover
Simple as can be
We fight like cats and dogs
That we know is true
But this time is different
This is our final Que
I will admit I am wrong
I've overreacted, I did
I instantly assumed the worse
I treated you like a kid
I understand where your coming from
You only had the best thoughts in mind
I can't fault you for what you did
I shouldn't have been so blind
For this time I am in the wrong
This time I aren't to be forgiven
Because I wrote a poem
To which by anger, I was driven
But its clear this fight
Isn't like the rest
Its not in black and white
As our rawest emotions have been expressed
Which is causing quite alot of distress
This fight isn't just because of what happened
Its not because of what I just did
Its clear that our built up emotions caused this
This is just the tipping point
Of all those things that we hid
This time is really quite different
We wont forgive and forget
Because I was wrong but so were you
But now all that I'm saying seems like a threat
This time we were both in the wrong
And so is everyone involved
Don't get me wrong
I don't expect you to come running back
I never once did
Just wanted to inform you
I understand your point
But mine were also quite valid
So maybe now isn't the time
That the two should be together
For future reference maybe some day
We can possibly make things better
So I guess this is our final goodbye
As we are neither ready to come back and try
For our fates and selves, have brought this upon us
So in the end, Its funny that
both of us are trying to play the bad guy.
I was planning to post this yesterday but we were both consumed with hurt and anger still
But I believe that this needs to be said
I understand you're point of view and I was mostly in the wrong, and I know sorry isn't what you want to hear, So I'll stay silent and leave you alone.
I believe its best that we had time apart