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Depression

My old friend

Oh my, oh my

Where have you been

You creep back into me

Ever so sneakily.

How i wish, we can make amends

After all this time spent

My old friend,

You cut me open

Then stitch me closed.

My tears flow and flow

Scars open

Bleeding out into the unknown.

Then,

Just like that

You shut me off.

Disassociated,

Now I am numb

To the bone.

My old friend,

It is either all or nothing with you.

Well I am sick

Of having to come up with reasons

Of why I am not feeling well.

I’m through with you.

Out, Out,

Gone be.

You are not me.

I will not be defined by the lies you shout and whisper to me.

My old friend, you will not take me with you

I have worked too hard,

Towards light,

To stay on my own path.

My mind has blossomed and my heart has been watered

You will not **** me dry.

Leave me, Leave me

Let me be.

-k.c
Aurianna Aug 2020
When I am by myself
I just sit there
My eyes unfocused
Completely trapped in my mind
As I feel my chest sink
And my heart breaking
I realize

I am alone
The three words echo
Louder in my head
Than a broken glass
In an empty auditorium
I have waited
For calls that never came
Love,
That was never given back

I believed
I could love other people
So much that I could one day
Eventually
Love me too
But when everyone you love leaves
Apart of you, leaves you
too

Even if they come back
I continue to greet them
with open arms
But never forgetting
And Always reminded, Every time
No matter how hard I love
How much I give
That I am easy to let go

People see me whole
But every time
I look in the mirror
All I see, is everything that’s missing
I fill my holes with lies
And short term happiness

It’s easy to not notice
What’s missing beneath the surface
If all I choose to show
Is my smile
But not the pain behind it
The twinkle in my eye often
Confused for happiness

I avoid superficial conversation
But lack the words
To say what I feel deep inside
I am mute to expressing my pain
Sober,
I drown myself in people
To silence my own mind

Until once again
I find myself alone
Unable to hold back the tears
Of how much
I cannot stand
To be left by myself
With my own thoughts

I don’t have trust issues
I have abandonment issues
For I consistently convince myself
That everyone I love will leave me
Like they have
So many times before

And honestly I understand
To look at myself
From someone else’s shoes
With an insiders perspective
And given the choice
To leave me...
I probably would too
I am empty with nothing left to give because I don’t know how to give to myself
دema flutter Apr 2020
you
you disappoint me
even when I had
expected you would,

you make me learn
my lessons once,
twice
and three times,

you are the morale
of my story
that leaves
me
before I even get to
fold page 1.
Archer Feb 2020
You are like a drug or a drink to me
The first taste was so sweet
Warmed me to my core
The sense of relief that washed over me
After taking you in
Was intense and consuming
I wanted to inject you into my veins
The glutton in me wanted all of you
Then came the obsession of the mind
When you weren't near
You ate away my sanity
I wanted that feeling to return
But it had left forever
Like acid poured on my brain
It burned to covet you
Then the hangover
The absolute and complete sickness
The talks with God
I promised to never drink you again
If only He would grant me some relief
The entirety of my defeat
The shame set in
How could I have been so stupid
I didn't want to play a part
I didn't want to be the one responsible
For my suffering
Its an all familiar tale for me
I just have to learn
Stone cold sober I can't take that first drink
Because it's the first drink that will **** me
You are poison to me now
Jieun Feb 2020
"You're boring"
I know...

"what's there to love about you?"
Please...stop...no...

"this isn't working out"
I thought we were meant to be?

"I'm leaving"

please...

don't....

leave....

me
Jennifer West Apr 2019
Please leave me be
For I know that I'll never be enough
For what you seek

Don't use those shining eyes
To look at me or lure me in
For I can see straight through those lies

You burned me once
And I know that's once enough
I do not want your touch

I know love is not
What you want from me
So stop sinking your teeth

Please leave me be
For I can do better
Than a beast
Luna Jay Mar 2019
My rhymes, they chime.
The truth between the lines.
My time, short lived.
Inside of my mind;
I’m grime.
I want my scrubbing bubbles-
My troubles always double when you
Try to wash me away.
And I, will always stay.
An ancient crime of whine
I shall present to you.
But what would it matter?
You always play the victim of abuse,
And misuse.
You dilute the minute
Necessities you think you don’t need.
But when they’re gone,
You find it hard to breathe.
she remains anon Nov 2018
And even roses,
they get crushed.
By wicked motive
we still trust.
No matter what I try;
these thorns.
You always pass my garden by.
Alas, let me mourn.
Spencer Smith May 2018
Gravity.
It holds me down with an iron fist.
At least that's what I tell myself.
It pins me to my bed,
Not letting me get up to do anything.

I finally defeat it,
But he is not a forgiving force and he keeps pulling me down.
I want to get up,
But it's strength is more then I can handle.

Gravity.
I just want you to leave me alone,
Though if I'm being logical,
I'm not sure if you're the thing holding me down,
But if you are as John Mayer would say,
"Gravity, stay the hell away from me."
You left me with
words I can't remember
and memories I wish
to forget.
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