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Luna Jay Dec 2018
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Dreamsicle Mournings:
I mourn your
Warnings.
Early Mornings:
A thorn in my
Rosary-
I’m stuck on the
Same prayer.
I’ve torn my
White wings-
Forever falling.
Forlorn for
Rosemary.
God, get me
There.
Luna Jay Jan 24
Indigo child
Hair flowin wild
I ask you to stay
And you disappear awhile.
Indigo lover
I don’t want to smother
I’ll stay away,
My heart breaks undercover.
Indigo go
I go solo
For a man who doesn’t want me
Frisky; I glow ***
Indigo mild
Your words are filed
In my head as I please.
Will I cross denial?
Indigo other
From another mother.
You make it hard to say
Do I love you only as a brother?
Indiglo bo
Loves me more, tho.
He loves to eat
And the love game is a low blow.
Luna Jay Jan 18
Breathe.  
I think of him.
Not of those before,
Who I have left.
Dream… and
My mind dances
Over to the man
I haven’t
Met.
Free.
He does impossible
Things to my mind.
We will not yet
Mention
My body.
Scream-
I know he wants to
Make me.
Luna Jay Jan 24
The environmental fade.
This industrial plague-
The materialistic rage that keeps
Our very society intact.
The plastic facade
Of man made hate,
Minutemaid trade
One minute after the attacks.
Against who today?
Who is to blame?
For this unending, cyclical
Societal maiming
Of the people who do not
Follow in your tracks?
Brothers,
Take a step back.
Look at what you´ve created.
This angry, killing war machine
Whose views are simply outdated.
Constructing thoughts that decompose,
Weight of words made the herds feel emaciated.
Society is crumbling and you’re concerned
With feeling validated?
Social media leave you exposed
And aggravated.
Luna Jay Jan 18
We planted the forest to hide one tree.
We our drowning our fish to flood polluted seas.
Brothers, capturing others does not self free.
Mother Earth is dying. Sisters, hear her pleas.
Constructing iceboxes to contract the big freeze.
Cloning our society; the big keyhole squeeze.
Cancer floats in the air- Doctors begin to wheeze.
Father Time…
Look at what you´ve done to me.
Luna Jay Jan 18
None for one,
A fun dance for many.
I´ve always been different,
Abundance more than plenty.
But for this, I´d been shunned,
And this stayed true.
Rambled on alone
Until I had found you.
A fine florida boy-
Who understood why
I prefer shellfish to selfish.
One fish,
Two fish,
Red fish,
No Phish.
Luna Jay Jan 18
A dark star,
In white light.
Undone scars;
By nightlight
I feel far.
Removed from the
One I crave-
Lung of tar-
Breath of insight.
Lept to Mars
In the spot of
The limelight.
Green of stars,
Lead me back to
Hindsight-
In this journey,
No path is paved.
Luna Jay Jan 24
Bruised- I think of you;
I feel abused by the misuse
Of your degrading words.
Used- I’m feeling blue;
The hues you paint with are absurd.
I’m a masterpiece of my very own-
No excuses needed from you.
A woman recently grown-
I’ve been born anew.
Your ******* no longer chains me,
You cannot rearrange me.
I’m feeling so free lately-
Now that I’ve called a truce.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Equal or I walk away.
Equal.
Or I cannot stay.
Does not mean stuck in our ways-
Just expect to be treated with respect.
Discuss our decisions
Or the visions of us dies.
Open communication-
Not entangled in webs of lies.
I refuse to be used up,
Laid out to dry.
I don’t have to die,
Not yet.
Get wreckt.
A
Luna Jay May 2015
***
I want his embrace.
This challenge I face.
I'm his disgrace.
His little one.

I want his light.
This effortless plight.
I'm not alright.
I'm done.

I want his promise.
An actual truth.
My chest,
Falling against his.
I want to know his landscape.
Every twist.
Every ridge.

I want his control.
This love unfolds.
Heart-aching mold.
I'm his fool.

I don't belong.
The day, long gone.
I've done it all wrong.
This love
Its cruel.
About Him.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Hot pink between her hips,
She’s sinking all his ships.
Her finger slips
Into her slit-
Fun dip.
And raises moon phases to her lips.
Blows the atmosphere a kiss,
Drinks the ocean in little sips.
Gallons of salty tears at her fingertips.
Woman yearning for the rip,
Boy learning to make me drip.
I’m hit.
And I’m only begging for more.
I adore the way you think you’re
Using me.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Used to the abuse
Of this kind.
He makes me whine-
Designed to cling to his knee.
Can’t you see?
Peel these soaking ******* off of me
And make me need more than one round.
Throw me to the ground,
And I bow with a thank you
Leaving my forever ***** mouth.
I enjoy my endeavors down south.
Cherry juice dripping down my legs.
I hang my head.
I bled.
Luna Jay May 2015
Dance with me.
Inhale me.
Wrap me around your tongue and teeth.
Breathe.
The stale smoke out
Of your
Black and charred lungs.
Into the cool,
And now toxic,
Morning dew.
Wrap your fingers around me.
Take a long,
Silver draw.
Wrap your spit
Around my yellowed
Ribbons of cancer.
Catch a lungfull of me.

Pick up the bottle.
Its just a sip.
A taste of poison
Won't **** you.
Feel me.
Like gasoline.
Let me set your insides
Ablaze.
Let the liquid waves crash
Over your teeth.
Drip the liquid fire
Down your throat.

Pop it. Swallow it. All of it.
Let the wave of unreality drown your
Pathetic screams
Of plea.
Pull you down for a swim.
Drown me.
In addiction.
Hello. I'm that man in the white coat.
I own the pen and pad.
I prescribe those little jewels
Of worthlessness.
Feel you eyes begin to droop.
Drool on yourself.
Whatever it is that makes
You feel comfortable.
I'll help you into that pine
Coffin. Tuck you in.
Concave the lights.
Forever floating in your morphine day dream.
Free Verse
Luna Jay Jul 2015
Always is a strong word.
To me, more than a forever.
It means "I am here for you
Through this infinite endeavor"
Your forever could end in seconds.
Always is a word unexplored.
Forever found a dead end.
Forever lies in a morgue.
Always never ends to me.
Its never thought of in time.
Always can part the sea.
Always you're on my mind.
Always get me with those eyes.
Always beautiful, bright and blue.
Always stopping me, dead in time.
Always I'll be loving you.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
You cheat,
You get cheated.
You beat,
The blood beaded.
You sneak,
You aren’t needed.
You leak,
Warnings unheeded.
You got yours-
The itching sores,
The loose lips,
Tightly torn-
I mourn your bleeding loss.
Luna Jay Jan 17
All of this time, I felt so claustrophobic;
The walls are caving in on me.
But, I’d never tell anyone.
No, no…
My home and chest and mind and
Sanity can all cave in,
And I won’t say a ****** thing.
I am sick of missing myself.
I’m right here, I’m just…
Asleep.
I stumble over my own two feet
Like some blind traveler,
Lost on these same roads I’ve walked
Forever.
And maybe, just maybe,
This time I’ll actually wake up
On the count of three.
Maybe then, it’ll finally make sense.
The walls were never caving in.
They were floating away.
They’re gone.
There is no four corners that I will
Allow to define me.
I am nothing and everything all at once..
I am whatever the stars
Wish to see me as.
I am only worth the thoughts I leave
Here on this planet.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
I don’t speak for everyone,
I can only speak for me.
I don’t want a silly toy to
Make me feel weak at the knee.
I don’t want a handsome savior,
Riding in on a white horse
Just so years later I end up
Sad, fat and divorced.
I want to be myself,
Open and free.
No one on this earth
Who should chain me.
Not outside of privacy of my bedroom.
Can you blame me?
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Your reality is unrealistic.
You are not a simple statistic-
You are a person.
The thoughts seem to worsen
Within the ages of these stages
And changes of the seasons-
I don’t know the reasons,
But the wind whispers through
My hair, and without a care,
I watch silently
Somberly
As our reality tears.
Luna Jay May 2015
Dirt . Grimey filth.
That's what you are.
A cheat.
A liar.
A womanizer.


I accepted you.
Into my heart.
Into my eyes.
Loved the love
You gave to me.
Accepted the disguise.
Knowing you were bad for me,
I took your hand.
Accepted the lies
You fed to me.
I still don't understand.
How you'd break a promise
As pure as mine.
I'll never understand.
But I guess that's
Just fine.

She's everything I'm not.
She isn't humiliated.
Or empty.
I still feel for you,
And you used me,
So simply

I give you this goodbye.
Breaking my passion.
To the one I once admired.
Take the pieces that you broke.
Turn my blood
Into fire.
He was a cheat.
And I accepted it.
Luna Jay May 2015
Starlight dances in the walls of my mind
My heart pulsing an inferno.
I can feel my world.
Crashing over me .
If the blood pumps any hotter,
My veins will explode.
I can't speak.
My stomach is tied.
Constantly.
I breathe fire.  
I'm red-hot, babe.
Are you a pyro?
Touch my love, babe.
Cleanse my soul
Of this madness.
Hang me by my
Ropes,
You puppet master.
If you want the control,
Take it.
Wipe your feet on me,
Darling.
Look down at me.
Keep me raging.
Free verse.
Luna Jay May 2015
My darling, swirling in a day dream dose,
A melancholy of blue in your eyes.
A petal of love shrivels from your rose,
And you give me your sun kissed goodbye.
You free me from her monstrous green waves,
You set my hearts desire into your eyes.
The crashing sea, the way it behaves,
Tossed and drowned, my heart must be dried.
The rolling clouds are in your eyes tonight,
The passion in the way you move to me.
The lightening crashing,
My sinful delight,
The foaming sea-green eyes are reminding me.
Of the dancing mad desire once held inside,
The day ended, long gone, and the moon calmed her tides.
Sonnet
Luna Jay Dec 2018
The walls,
They fall.
The minds,
They crumble.
The teeth,
They shatter
On contact
With your words.
The skin suits,
They wither.
The single identity crisis,
They splinter.
Into a man’s
Multiple personalities.
The tears,
They spill.
The spines,
They chill,
The hope,
They lost forever and
A day ago.
And nothing is left
But the measly foundation;
Rotting and infested
With termites.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
I’m unsure of my place,
I’m facing judgment from my peers.
There’s no more space for
Hiding these fears.
I’m unique in my being,
I’m intimidating to others.
Tired of the blubber spoken
By former lovers.
My ears need more than
Cotton filling.
And it’s the only thing these boys
Seem to be spilling.
I crave something thrilling-
More than just striking the match against
Her box.
Something more than just a
Creaming ****.
I want a chilling connect,
More than lustful affection.
More than the boys
Society has in stock.
connect relationships two twogether society
Luna Jay Dec 2018
You have reached the edge of the world.
You held my hand- my toes, they curled.
I shook down my hair, without a care.
Lost in time in that infinite stare.
I wouldn't dare look away-
I want this moment;
Stay.
Luna Jay Jul 2015
Vastly and taken, among us
We walk alone
As have we always
And shall we continue
Our minds aren't always
As silenced as we should be
We listen and evaluate,
As if its our job, to gain the knowledge of you
To figure you out.
To know our jobs of further corruption.
Against anyone and everyone
And we watch, as to gain power
To know what to do to make you ***** inhabitants of our mother earth live in fear and restlessness.
We are the control
You, our puppets
We decide if and when to free you from your strings
Only attached to crosses as
To represent religion
Falling far from it in your falling out with a god, after being cut
Only to figure out you knew nothing of what religion really stood for
Because after all? Who really knows?
But us.
We are complete control. Learn to obey and get into our rythm of speaking, so you lip it, they think its opinions.
We.the collectors.
Gathering stars
In an infinity of black charred sky.
We must add color to our canvas.
We, gathering your glass tears in our paper jars
Throwing them to the sky.
So you'll forever remember mourned loved ones until you become that as well.
And you think stars are some beautiful representation of life, we all burn out.
Some might be.
Tears of joy. Proposal on a sunny day. A new family. Warm and fuzzy memories for you to store.
But to collectors, stars are to remind you
That even in a black nothing land
There is still suffering.
The sun isn't getting closer
But only bigger and still enlarging rapidly
As there will always be pain
And suffering
Tragedy in great masses.
Broken hearts.
Stars are to show remembrance in bad times.
What else is there out in the cold of space?
You don't know.
Exactly.
You know nothing of what is to come.
Of what you are to become.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Never the same as yesterday.
Words change and lines fray.
Veins snake through unknown feelings-
Canvas skin, your paint is peeling
And you are kneeling
To a new god.
A fraud
That you announced as fiction
Only yesterday.
Luna Jay Aug 2015
We could be runaways.
We could change us.
Spend our days
Availed in fake trust.
You could hold me closer
So I can feel your breath.
My body aching next to yours.
On your lips I taste fresh death.
Clog the drain you call your mind.
My sanity is so hard to find.
Its easier when you're held by
Someone you can stand by.
And even if I do die,
The burial plots have been bought.
Luna Jay Aug 2015
There is no more rest.
There is no more time.
My mind is facing extinction.
And I jumped off of a cliff,
And swan dived into my own insanity.
When all I was trying to do,
Was get you to catch me.
Luna Jay May 2015
See the empty
In my eyes?
But mute out
My sound.
Hold me back
By my hands.
I'm held tight
And bound
In the ropes
Of your entangled ways.
Kick me to the ground.
See the empty
In my eyes?
****** fuzz
I downed.
Luna Jay Jan 16
When you become a ghost,
Feel free to haunt me.
I’d be lonely otherwise.
You’re the only thing I have
Keeping my feet planted on well known soil.
I wonder if when you decide to leave,
If the same should happen to myself?
We both know we are running out of time.
Of air;
Of patience.
It’s all I can do to stay here for you, Darling.
I’m very unhappy.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
A priceless piece of art in her precious gallery.
Punctured with a nail, she hangs for all to see.
Her creator, unknown.
A man masked in grey-
Took his artwork by the hand,
And traded her for pay.
Time spent perfecting; now long gone.
The Act or Art itself had gone all wrong.
The linework snakes through unknown feelings.
Canvas skin, your paint is peeling.
And here you sit, sealing
Your patches with rancid untruths.
These abused blue hues
He uses so aloof.
As your are hanging, with no tongue left for maiming,
He finds a new soul he believes needs framing.
You and she shall be the same-
Abuse and misuse are
Engrained in the brains
Of the women he has tried to tame…
But he is no artist.
Luna Jay Jan 24
A Rose-
I opened myself to you.
Not yet deflowered,
Only… depowered.
Knocked down a few notches
To nothingness.
A prose-
Roping myself to you.
Never empowered,
Always soured.
Locked frowns drowning in
Paint swatches of ugliness.
Muddiness.
I never liked your artwork
Anyway.
You create to abuse,
To use,
And to trade.
You threw me away…
And now your garbage can
Is much more glamorous
Than your gal is.
Luna Jay Jan 17
X-rays always made her feel like a model,
The doctor always taking her pictures.
She always posed.
Every imperfection, every flaw in her porcelain skin,
They refused to overlook.
They had to inspect her,
Make sure she wasn’t contagious.
“Drink this, eat that, take these.
Let us shove tubing down your throat
So we can find you another pill”
And she was absolutely sick and tired
Of all of the rules and tubes and wires
And people she didn’t know touching all over her,
Making her feel
“Better”
It made her feel exposed.
Cold.
Like she was some
******* bunny for a physical health magazine.
Her nostrils were stained with
The strong scent of hand sanitizer.
And she couldn’t keep the hospital food down,
And the shower was always freezing cold…
But at least they could make her feel
“Better”
Erasing the taste of
Copper anorexia at the back of her throat,
She’s just an experiment.
Hue
Luna Jay Jan 16
Hue
We all have some darkness,
But we all still have some light.
In the midst of trying to find ourselves,
We lost the endeavoring plight.
The day is too dull,
So we live in the night.
Fading the colors of this
White, bright life.
Luna Jay Jan 18
Don’t speak.
I was a freak to bleed in the sheets.
You keep going once our eyes meet.
Never knew this was you all along.
It has been the longest of weeks-
The thought of you makes me weak
With nausea.
I only weep.
Took and crumbled a woman so strong.
You leap from maternal figure
To paternal stickler-
You have Daddy issues because he’s rich
But won’t share.
How dare he not fund your white entitlement.
You curse when he tells you to brush your teeth
At night, because you can’t stand
The thought of someone caring for you
On a non-financial level,
And I’m the devil,
Because I won’t accept the monetary gifts.
You slip me this and that,
Skip the emotional derivative.
And gasp at the fact that
I’ve stopped putting in initiative.
Silly boy, I don’t need you.
A toy made to tease you.
Keep me on this collar,
But I’m the one who leads you.
Luna Jay Jul 2015
You're the sin of me,
A claustrophobic situation
And I can't breathe.
I'm an epidermal hot mess,
With a side of downers
To suppress.
A hypodermic allergy.
Charge me with my felony.
Caused by this anorexic magazine.
I'm starving.
Brothers; Our own flesh.
Nail me to this cross
And watch me burn.
They want us to be self reliant,
And give us controlling rule.
Impossible standards
In a
Hypocritical disease head.
They give us psycotheism
But take away our earth.
We're supposed to be coexisting,
So give us equality in worth.
I am my own
Anarchist Antichrist
Feed me
To
The broken system.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Pain is my greatest motivation.
Contentment just a sign of deflation.
And in my cycle of emaciation,
I write my weight in words.
Hate is the weakest retaliation
Nations use for further aggravation.
I asked her to meet me at the station,
And saw her head on the train,
Hustling along with the herds.
Luna Jay May 2015
ANGER.
The tears in my eyes burn
As much as the lump in my throat.
The scream has been cooking
For years. It swelled. It can bubble over.
SEE IF I CARE.

EMPTINESS.
The zero.
The hole.
There is a constant lack of space
Looming inside of me.
I don't see what I'm missing.
It's already gone.
SEE IF I CARE.

BROKEN.
I used to work.
I don't anymore.
Due to the way my former
Abused me.
Pieces of myself.
Gone. I gave them to you, and you walked out.
You can keep the old me.
SEE IF I CARE.
Free Verse
Luna Jay Dec 2018
You will never be perfect,
The words aren’t worth it.
The only gut love you have, and you cannot birth it.
I’m bottling myself inside my of skin-
Wall after wall, and the flesh is wearing thin.
Pulsing a hatred for my charred insides-
I force it down,
And wait for the thought to die.
Luna Jay Jan 17
I can’t breathe-
But I can wear long sleeves.
I can’t look
To the tumbling leaves
Without being reminded
Of my cracking psychiatric state
That his name leaves me in.
I can’t smile,
But I can blame it on
Being “under the weather”
Like it’s some sort of
Dizzy spell that disintegrates
My fake smiles and
Social interactions.
Another year I watch the leaves lose their hair,
Being stripped completely vulnerable
In public,
Just the way he left me.
Another year I spend my birthday alone.
Another year I don’t have a date to the fair.
It’s unfair…
Another year I will be purposely outcast
At friendly functions.
Another year I’ll be questioned
As to why I stay at home all of the time.
Another year I’ll spend alone in my own mind.
Another year;
Closer to death.
Happy ******* birthday.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Scampering, Scurrying
Everyone a Worrying.
From behind the lines
Of time,
It’s hard to find a passion.
Haggling, Hurrying
Society in a flurry.
Fury of consumer
Wrapped pretty for distraction.
This mutual attraction towards
Things instead of people,
Is done at the satisfaction of
Big corporations
Instilling evil.
From behind the lies of lime
It’s hard to hide reaction.
No grip to prevent slip-
No citric acid traction.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
Life we keep going,
Even when you’re gone.
The wind, still blowing.
The sun still shining in the dawn.
The thunder and fire
That shook your soul.
The endless tire that
Took its toll.
You ripped away the mold
And sold your bruised truths.
Time ensues,
Continues.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
What does it matter?
Love as thick as batter
Caked to my lips.
I use my hips
To rip and tatter.
These boys, silly toys
And their love is growing fatter
Against their thigh.
I sigh
And decide to get high
Off of riding the tides
Of my own wetness.
You’ll never forget this-
You lied.
Mind the time
And design my fine.
My find?
I’ve always refused to stay
In line.
kink dirt grime control
Luna Jay Dec 2018
I love the smell of the rain.
Love feeling the release of pain.
Love feeling creative- love creating.
Can’t explain.

Love breaks my heart,
The world falls apart.
Feeling alone, but not set in stone,
Deserving a fresh start.

I’m immaculate with words,
I’m not standing with the herds.
Standing on my own two feet.
Anything else would be absurd.

I wonder where I’ll be,
I wonder what I’ll see.
In a land of grand disappointment,
I’m playing make believe.
Luna Jay Jan 17
Heathen cat,
Atop my Mac.
You’re feral
And losing teeth.
A fever from your scratch,
A heap of furry black.
Flicks his tail and tongue to greet me.
Meet me
In the chatroom.
A real cat-fish
I presume,
The squawk box amuses me.
Yellow eyes and painted ears,
He types away at all his fears.
I fell in love with a stranger;
A true online catfish he’d been
For years.
Luna Jay Aug 2015
A mother's love is forever,
Though her baby's life may not be.
The heavy death weights
Sitting upright on her tight
Chest.
Making it harder to breathe.
Quietly, softly, he did not make a sound.
Though she searched frantically
In the heat of the night
Under pressure and cracking
Leaning over the caged bed and hearing
Silence.
No still beating heart was found.
The heaving sobs in the night.
The sweltering chest pains of the next day,
They would linger over her constantly,
If she insisted to visit that grave.

She had turned him into a life,
And now forever separated.
Her love as strong as rock,
Now crumbling and faded.
If her baby's eyes were green,
The world made them super jaded.
And now he wastes away.
A life that was prematurely complicated.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
She tried to tell him how she felt,
But emojis only say so much.
She always felt he was just out of her reach,
Never close enough to touch.
She wants him in her arms,
A relationship she can clutch.
But after all,
“:)<3”
Only says so much.
Luna Jay Dec 2018
I’m Longing and Learning.
Constantly, I’m yearning
For a man who isn’t mine.
A divine being- I find
The time is turning.
I’m older,
I’m bolder,
Unsure if you’ve grown colder.
Too frisky to care-
I dare to find someone
Completely new.
Tired of feeling blue for you.
Luna Jay Jan 17
He walked down the road
To nowhere.
Nothingness in his eyes,
Honey in his hips…
As he’s waltzing away from me.
And he’s empty.
He’s not going to get very far
Without speaking to me.
Needs it more than he knows.
It’s just that he
Is a staggering bound
Of emotion,
And he’s beginning to see
I’m the only one who understands them;
And that scares him.
So he runs away,
To nowhere.
The final form of destination has never
Truly mattered,
He just wants to prove
The absolute power
Wrong.
I can’t stop his destructive cycle-
I can’t save him from his own actions.
Everyone knows this to be true,
But no one seems to enforce
The fact that
You can’t be everyone's hero.
And I was never trying to be.
Luna Jay May 2015
Blue eyes
Tinder,
Caution-filled,
Catch my gaze.
Across the way.
From my stare
Back.
Strangers,
Being familiarized.
His pale skin.
His unshaven
Whiskers.
I smile.
He shoots
A beam of heaven
My way
And I bathe
In its angelic
Warming glow.
The rain
Humid and patting.
Lightly
Outside
Of my brain.
And pumping
Along with the
Rain,
My heart beats
Harder
As the special
One
Approaches .
His lips part.
The air
Escapes.
Leaps off of his
Tongue.
He speaks.
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