The sun plummets into pools
Of fleshy humanity.
The pollution sinks
Into the streets of the city.
The flames,
Lapping at the skin
Melting off of
My hollow structure.
But still, I will stand tall.
The memory of you
Still branded on the insides
Of my eyelids.

I know that it seems completely illogical to fall so hard
For someone who’ve never even met before.
But, that’s where I’ve always lost everyone.
I have met him;
I did know him.
I did love him..
In fact, I think I still do.
He was a complete goofball.
It didn’t matter what we were talking about,
I always had a big cheesy grin
Plastered on my face.
He could always make me laugh,
He could always lift my spirits.
And he always helped build my self confidence.
He never had to say such sweet things to me.
But it seemed as though it occurred naturally.
No one had told me I was beautiful;
Until him.
It brought me to tears.

I stood and watched
The final sunset
As the world was ending.
Light that once
Would fall is now
Ascending.
And blending its way
Into the crevices
Of my cracking lips.
I’m sinking ships
And burning down
All of my bridges-
Ripping out all of my stitches.
Counting down all of my wishes
That always refused to silence themselves.
It’s slipping away-
The words,
The memories… the smells.
They try to stay
But they melt away.
I’m clawing my way
Back into the descendants of humanity.

As the story came to a close,
I realized I was the villain all along.
After all the galiant heros were gone.
After the curtain had closed off the stage-
After the sun had run away.
I was left alone
For all the hair to grey.
For the sun to fade,
For all of the stars
To burn away.
I was the reason
For the change of the season.
The reason in this
Season of treason.
After all of this time,
I’d been the bad guy.
And they strung me up
And left me here to dry.

I’m hiding myself again.
I don’t mean to,
It’s just easier to not deal
With relationships
Amongst others.
I can only take on my stress,
And I’ve been trying to teach myself that
For years.
It’s not that I don’t know that it’s unhealthy,
I think that it’s more habitual.
Which is pretty horrid,
That I’ve already formed this habit of self isolation.
But it’s so much easier to deal with.
I’d rather have no friends at all
Than a chance of losing them.

What’s wrong with the Big Pharma?
Controlling governments
Ruthlessly consolidate
The elite
Who are able to afford
Basic health care.
Severe side effects
Detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
Taking painkillers
Has caused an epidemic
That’s part of a sinister plan
To squeeze yet more profit
Out of a system designed to
Keep human beings chronically unhealthy.
Vaccines too often have had the opposite effect,
Exponentially increasing illness,
Causing irreversible damage,
And even taking lives of our sick brotherhood.
Population suspect that it is now
Being used as a weapon of mass destruction
To effectively depopulate the earth.

I will always feel the same-
About you.
Everything changes; the places,
The arrangements…
But I will always feel the same-
About you.
Boys break my heart,
The world falls apart…
And I will always feel the same-
About you.
My health may be failing,
And my mind, derailing…
But I will always feel the same-
About you.
The same four corners
With no one to adorn her…
And she will always feel the same-
About you.

The kids are dying.
Their Momma is crying.
And sellin’ her soul to hell
For lying.
Saying it’s okay,
Momma will find a way.
Knowing **** good and well she can’t
Find the pay.
Selling her body on the
Side of the street
Just so her babies will have
Something to eat.
Hanging her head in defeat.
This type of lifestyle is difficult.
She knows she can’t afford
These medical bills.
Can’t afford anymore
Anxiety pills.
A lifetime full
Of cheap thrills.
The looks from her babies
Were enough to ****…
When she told them that
Only the rich could afford good health.

The environmental fade.
This industrial plague-
The materialistic rage that keeps
Our very society intact.
The plastic facade
Of man made hate,
Minutemaid trade
One minute after the attacks.
Against who today?
Who is to blame?
For this unending, cyclical
Societal maiming
Of the people who do not
Follow in your tracks?
Brothers,
Take a step back.
Look at what you´ve created.
This angry, killing war machine
Whose views are simply outdated.
Constructing thoughts that decompose,
Weight of words made the herds feel emaciated.
Society is crumbling and you’re concerned
With feeling validated?
Social media leave you exposed
And aggravated.

A dark star,
In white light.
Undone scars;
By nightlight
I feel far.
Removed from the
One I crave-
Lung of tar-
Breath of insight.
Lept to Mars
In the spot of
The limelight.
Green of stars,
Lead me back to
Hindsight-
In this journey,
No path is paved.

He did not deserve me-
Though he ended up with me, out of pure loneliness
On one end,
And horiness on the other-
He didn’t deserve me.
I am a strong and free woman,
Head held high,
Walking proudly through the crowd
Of judgement.
He wanted to cage me,
To tame me.
Maim me when I misspoke
With the ****** misconduct
Of his ****.
Left his mess for me to mop
And drug his palm against my face
When I didn’t do it quick enough.
I’m into some sick and twisted stuff,
But that doesn’t mean I have to dedicate my life
To a sick and twisted person.
He saw an opportunity and abused it,
Completely.
Ruined a Led Zeppelin album
Because he needed quick pleasure.
A sin.
To me, it was torture
Beyond any measure.
There is no safeword to stop him
From using me that the repeated
Shouting of the word “no”
Shouldn’t override.
Sobs and dry heaving
And unlimited tears that darted down my cheeks
Every time he forced himself
Deeper inside of me
Couldn’t trump a measly “safeword”.
Sneering down at me,
Forcing my legs open
As he stole the one thing
I’d always asked him not to take away-
My trust in men as an entire gender.
And of course,
Something as simple as getting off quick
Could never seem that complicated,
That complex,
In his miniscule male mind.
He came and went-
Dipped to college,
Got with new girls after
Shaving his beard off once he left,
Revealing that he was still a boy
All along.
Under the dad *** of the year
And sneer that was covered
In ****** hair,
Starred a scared boy
Right back at me.
He drinks to numb his pain
While I’m back at home with
A broken liver.
And it’s more of a slap in the face
Than finding out earlier
That he was cheating on me
The entire time
Anyway.
Stings.
More than the quick slaps
Across the face
I’d receive for
Disrespecting him.
He texts me-
On the day my crush,
My other half that I’ve yet to meet
Sends me an update on his life.
Cuffed in Mississippi
For a plant.
Mississippi-
The same place my sister went
After getting strung out.
The place I was at
When my little survivor pup
Was hit by a pickup.
There’s nothing good
In the big Miss.
Only terrible roads and greasy food.
On the other end, the runaway ******
Was telling me he was trying to
“Better himself”.
Asked if we were okay,
And then proceeded to make the conversation
About himself,
As he’d proudly done so many times before.
How stealth-
Can’t find a better man, she lies.
Hands tied,
Just like i’d asked you to,
But more than that.
In my mind, as well.
You’ll rot in hell
For what you did to me.
No, I didn’t go after him.
No, I didn’t tell anyone at first.
No, I never told his college.
What the **** would you even go to college
In Ohio for?
Cornologist?
No, I didn’t pursue him further after…
It.
Karma is my friend.
And I have all the time in the world,
Curing myself,
Not drinking myself to death
And sleeping with every man
Big enough to swing his **** around.
I’m bettering myself, too.
Even if I’m not allowing him to see.

He walked down the road
To nowhere.
Nothingness in his eyes,
Honey in his hips…
As he’s waltzing away from me.
And he’s empty.
He’s not going to get very far
Without speaking to me.
Needs it more than he knows.
It’s just that he
Is a staggering bound
Of emotion,
And he’s beginning to see
I’m the only one who understands them;
And that scares him.
So he runs away,
To nowhere.
The final form of destination has never
Truly mattered,
He just wants to prove
The absolute power
Wrong.
I can’t stop his destructive cycle-
I can’t save him from his own actions.
Everyone knows this to be true,
But no one seems to enforce
The fact that
You can’t be everyone's hero.
And I was never trying to be.