Stop digging it up
Bury the hatchet
You’ll be okay soon
Just repeat the word stop
And take a deep breath
You need to stop racing
Thoughts in your mind
The past is the past,
Just leave it behind

Angry because we were in the same room
And you couldn’t even look in my direction...
At me, and you knew,
It was me

I’m so tired and frustrated
I
I’m sad its come to this
My mother forced to greet your solemn face
Shake her hand like you used to, please.

Why did your dad steal your warmth?
What’s happening?
You’re hurting me,
Something that I never would’ve expected

I’m on the verge of tears,
Angsty
Just thinking about it
Thinking about you and all of it

Come back, I beg
I’ll still try to save you
And maybe we’ll fall again

10.28.18

I am a heavyweight
I carry heavy weights
I can lift heavy weights
I own these heavy weights
I am over these heavy weights
I will banish these heavy weights
I am more than these heavy weights

It’s funny cuz I got jealous of your best friend
And I got mad when you were jealous of mine,
But it’s because we want to be together or else be alone.
No sharing.
So here we are,
Sharing feelings between us,
But never saying it.
And we will do that for a while longer
I think.

Intoxicatingly, mistakenly
You’ve caught my eye and now you’re leaving me
Hanging
At least in my head, I’m better off dead
When you leave me hanging
And you’ve ghosted for days
I’m waiting and waiting
Contsantly thinking about what you might say
Or what I said wrong
Will you reply?
Or just write me off...
Or maybe you’re busy
Maybe you’re tired
Maybe you haven’t checked your phone in a while,
Maybe he’s camping and service is bad

Haha I made myself sad and happy again.

But I’m still left here waiting and hanging and waiting... to see what you’ve said.

If it’s not new,
I don’t want it
Because things change
And I hate it
2012 is kinda painful
And if you’re dead,
I hate to listen
Cuz it’s honestly
So sad

It was a color that I’ve never seen before
I knew that it existed, but not like this
It was an attraction that you couldn’t miss
Because our mouths met and we literally kissed
I’m glad that I felt it in my dreams, atleast
Because I can open my eyes and try to see it in real life

Won’t look out the window when she knocks for fear of a Ghost of An Angel.
He made a mistake, so he’s outcasted
But it’s not bad.
Just because something hurts doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Stitches allow you to heal, and until you do you’ll be a Ghost of An Angel.
We’ll be waiting.

I wish that someone was interested enough
In me
To read between the lines and read
Deep
To point out where I failed
And places I was strong
To stalk me and examine me
And notice my song
My rhymes
My patterns
And rythyms
And tell me that they notice me, because I
Would never guess that anyone would ever
Notice me

My nightcap is communication,
because I crave it all day
I spend hours between four walls
And talking helps me get away.
So I stay up late most of the time,
Chatting my time away
Because after all, I have more time
When tomorrow rolls my way.

It was beautiful,
The way he touched me.
He could be ashamed,
But I'd never tell anyone about
The way he grabbed my waist.

It’s in the silence
And between the laughs.
It’s right before bed
And when you’re waiting somewhere.
When you’re tired, hungry, or bored...
It creeps into the
Minutes,
Seconds,
Moments...
That you’re not distracted.
And most of all,
It comes when you’re alone.
(It’s right here.)

I like to sing.
Does that make me a siren?
I’ll lure you in, but if you don’t respond, I’ll quiet down my siren song.
I’ll swim away and won’t try again until you’re in need of a friend.
Just ask me and I’ll sing to you in hopes of making us forever,
But most times they just sail away and I’m left swimming here whichever.
I like to sing, and you can too,
But a sailor makes a siren through.
Again I’ll sing my siren song and I will sing them all to you.

This is to the person
Who lives the way I do...
Whose life is a distortion
Created by the veil
That covers our minds from the truth
That living like this is hell:
The moments you overreact,
You cry and have panic attacks
The moments that you’re in your bed
When demons inhabit your head
When you push away those that you love
Because being yourself is too much
This is to those with this
Distortion,
Distortion that lives in your brain,
Beneath every single headache and then cracked between the pain.

Scars are not supposed to hurt,
But I run a finger over them and feel
Pain
It’s bittersweet the feelings of this,
Should it be like singing in the rain?
An awkward bliss.
Instead, I remember the initial wound
Instead, I still feel the ghost of you
Yes, scars are meant to heal
But they can still hurt
And hurt
And hurt.

I love him and I worry about him
I wonder if he’s in good health
Or whether he’s found someone new
Is he in need of a friend?
Is he back at school?
His whole world was disrupted,
But my world is distorted
So I couldn’t be the good friend
When it was needed.

you say a cuss word in your head and then you watch something that’ll hurt you and
then you blame everyone else for things you’ve done
you’re not doing well in school because you’re lazy
you’re so lonely, but you’ll never tell a soul then you want them to feel guilty for not noticing
but you hide your pain on purpose
you think that people hate you and they probably do
you’re being reckless for no reason
your emotions are too heavy for the situation
you write poems for attention
you used to follow your head but now you follow your broken heart
when you need help you don’t ask for it
your greatest downfall is lust
and now you’re nauseous because of how disgusting you’ve become

I’m stuck in the backroads I walked
Many years ago
Because there’s no need to grow up
So now it hurts to wake
And hurts to go to sleep
The only thing keeping me alive
Is the chance of a better me

I’m afraid
To go somewhere I have the right
I’m afraid
That someone will threaten my life
So many people have passed away
At the hand of another shooting
But at 16, should I be afraid
That the next one could be me?

You’ve left your mark on a broken heart,
On a whirlwind of a girl.
She knows that she’s unstable,
But she considered you her world.
She thinks about you randomly
And digs herself a hole,
So later she can sleep in it
And rest her hurting soul.