My eyes are black,
My heart is cold,
self-hatred is radiating from within my soul,
the mirror reflects what i don't want to see
i hate every single aspect about me
from my abnormal eyes
to my ugly, fat thighs
see, i hate myself too
probably even more than you.

I feel so betrayed by the person you have become.
In the beginning you loved me, now you just call me dumb.
Our conversations and calls have become father apart,
It is only a matter of time before you shatter my heart.
Inconsistencies and lies get harder to hear.
Wishing my blurry brain would soon become clear.
I cry and cry almost everyday,
I would give anything to take all of this pain away.
There are people that are crying, dying, and dismayed.
And all I have is someone who I once loved digging my grave.

They say they'll help you
But they always leave
They promise to fix you
They'll give you all you'll ever need
So you put all your eggs in their basket
But they leave you alone to waste in your casket

sadness and emptiness are two different things
emptiness is absence of feeling, and sadness is pain
emptiness is the feeling of no feeling at all,
sadness is the crippling enabler that makes you feel small
sadness has a cure, or so it seems
emptiness, however,  is a very unsolvable thing

I can strongly relate to the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed
not because im tired, but because i wish i was dead
the sadness is my bed, which i need to leave but cant
because im used to empty, im comforted by sad
being happy and content is too much in the unknown
i'd prefer to be by myself, to spend my time alone

The days that i am happy
are few and far between
no, im not depressed
I'm just a statistically sad teen
i wake up in the morning
regret running through my veins
and then i go to bed
with the same amount of pain

I am a cave
for nobody dwells within me
and when someone does stay,
they leave just as quickly
im dark and depressing,
lonely and hidden
sunlight and happiness are forbidden
I wish that i could bring joy to others
without hurting myself time after another

Love is awful
Love is the worst
it will consume your heart
and then make it burst
it will control your thoughts, you speech and your actions
if your not careful, it could become a fatal attraction
the worst part of love is that when it is gone
your left with this feeling, and you don't know whats wrong
you stuck inside your head, and you think your life is ending
but little do you know, its only just beginning
Soon enough, the black curtain will rise
the darkness will fade, and you'll open your eyes
you realize that your okay, that you didnt die
Some tears were shed, and some hearts were shattered
but your okay, and thats all that really matters

Why does nobody love me
Is it because I try to hard
Or run to far,
Is It because of the emotion I don't show,
Because I don't want anyone to know.
Is it because the stars in my eyes have burnt out,
Is it because I shout.
Whatever the reason is, please make it known.
Because I don't want to end up spending my life alone.

It gets better, i promise it does,
It rises and falls, like the setting sun
Happiness accompanies sadness on most of the days,
But one without the other, is darkness, or rays.
It will get better, i promise you that,
you will soon feel three dimensional,
and no longer flat

I hear your knocking,
I hear it well
I hear your screams
they're barely a yell
I can make out every single word you say
I wish you could see that they're all in vain
I'm a hopeless case
In other words a waste
because no matter how loud you get
I won't ever be able to forget
The last time that  i ever let somebody in.

When I wake up and think of us
I feel a surge in my heart, a rush
The impending guilt rides through my body
as I remember how you said I was the greatest thing
The one that you were going to love for always
Until I messed up and begged for you on my knees
I begged for you to still keep me,
I begged for you to not talk so soft,
I begged that I would never have to write things like this again, and we can see how well that paid off
I am through begging and I am through waiting.
All that I have left is to hope that someday you wake up and miss me
Instead of writing me off so easily.

I'm so far in my own head,
i can't even see 3 feet ahead
that light that used to faintly show,
its all but gone, it lost its glow
the world around is just a blur
my vision and speech start to slur
I can't go on like this any longer
I just wish that i could be stronger.

Somewhere between the walk home, and stepping through the front door, it happened
It overtook my senses, my body, and my mind
It replaced them all with sadness, and where it put them, i will never find
So now i walk the earth, as a paper thin hologram
A soulless being who who wanders the unknown *land

It's the eve before Christmas, the best eve of the year.
But I can't help but cry, and shed a tear.
Why you might ask, would I be crying on Christmas?
Probably because everything is so different.
I don't feel excitement, or happiness in the least.
It seems like any other day, but with a holiday feast.
I wish I could go back to when I was seven,
Where Christmas was basically one day of heaven.
But those days are gone, as well as the rest of them,
and now I am laying like baby Jesus in Bethlehem,
wishing that I could be happy again,
hoping that someday I will feel the same.

Just once I wish that there could be a day
when i can tell my counselor that i'm okay
when i don't have to lie about my thoughts
and now have my stomach be tied in knots
when i can actually feel how i tell people i do
and not have to say things that aren't true
but alas i know that day will never come,
so i shall just sit here feeling numb

I care about people more than i care about myself
yet people still treat me like an antique book and put me on a shelf
And there i sit for days, maybe even years
until your all alone and you need somebody else
and there i will sit, where you last put me down
loyal and waiting to hear how the world let you down