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When I wake up and think of us
I feel a surge in my heart, a rush
The impending guilt rides through my body
as I remember how you said I was the greatest thing
The one that you were going to love for always
Until I messed up and begged for you on my knees
I begged for you to still keep me,
I begged for you to not talk so soft,
I begged that I would never have to write things like this again, and we can see how well that paid off
I am through begging and I am through waiting.
All that I have left is to hope that someday you wake up and miss me
Instead of writing me off so easily.
It gets better, i promise it does,
It rises and falls, like the setting sun
Happiness accompanies sadness on most of the days,
But one without the other, is darkness, or rays.
It will get better, i promise you that,
you will soon feel three dimensional,
and no longer flat
It's the eve before Christmas, the best eve of the year.
But I can't help but cry, and shed a tear.
Why you might ask, would I be crying on Christmas?
Probably because everything is so different.
I don't feel excitement, or happiness in the least.
It seems like any other day, but with a holiday feast.
I wish I could go back to when I was seven,
Where Christmas was basically one day of heaven.
But those days are gone, as well as the rest of them,
and now I am laying like baby Jesus in Bethlehem,
wishing that I could be happy again,
hoping that someday I will feel the same.
Why does nobody love me
Is it because I try to hard
Or run to far,
Is It because of the emotion I don't show,
Because I don't want anyone to know.
Is it because the stars in my eyes have burnt out,
Is it because I shout.
Whatever the reason is, please make it known.
Because I don't want to end up spending my life alone.
Somewhere between the walk home, and stepping through the front door, it happened
It overtook my senses, my body, and my mind
It replaced them all with sadness, and where it put them, i will never find
So now i walk the earth, as a paper thin hologram
A soulless being who who wanders the unknown *land
I hear your knocking,
I hear it well
I hear your screams
they're barely a yell
I can make out every single word you say
I wish you could see that they're all in vain
I'm a hopeless case
In other words a waste
because no matter how loud you get
I won't ever be able to forget
The last time that  i ever let somebody in.
I'm so far in my own head,
i can't even see 3 feet ahead
that light that used to faintly show,
its all but gone, it lost its glow
the world around is just a blur
my vision and speech start to slur
I can't go on like this any longer
I just wish that i could be stronger.
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