1.
hey kid wanna
balloon i gottem in erry color
blues n reds n yellows n so on hey kid where
you going i just wanna give you your
balloon

2.
There are five types of balloons in this world:
the kind that floats,
the kind that don’t,
the kind that once did,
the kind that will one day,
and the kind that doesn’t care.

3.
A child strolls along with a balloon in hand,
attached to a string.
A child lets go of the balloon while trying to traverse monkey bars.
A child cries at her green friend floating away, knowing that it will soon pop and fall into the ocean for some sea turtle to choke on.
A child gets a red one.

4.
A friend came up to me and gave me a bouquet of roses.
I gave him a bouquet of balloons.

5.
A balloon is like a balloon and nothing else.

The sea isn't a blanket.
Sure, blankets may have waves,
and blankets ripple when you jump on them,
but a blanket does not host Atlantis.
A blanket isn't full of saline.
A blanket does not hold billions of creatures underneath it.
Instead, a blanket only holds a couple, snoring, unconscious,
unaware of the each other,
unaware of their petty troubles,
unaware of their drunkenness,
unaware of their bruises,
unaware of life, death, and the sea.

On my way from DC to Manhattan, the sky an odd indigo.
Got some donuts from the local bakery, which I'm munching on.
Some girl sits next to me.
After a couple hours she dozed off, and I whisper to her:
"You might be stardust, but you're no nebula."
She can't see the window through my silhouette.
I hate that inky nothing, I hate that
shadow, I hate
that silhouette.

@cyber
    @punk
headset not
clear enough. can't receive circuitry
rewiring veins back to my
internal mainframe in which two
magnets start to spew out
dystopian propaganda. neon motorcycles
that can turn at any corner
dash through the streets.
concept? oh no
    @end
@function

Hop aboard.
It's a free trip, anyway.
No more dread, no more yesterday.
Tonight we're going to cloud nine.
Put your suitcase above your seat.
Kick back, relax, go to sleep.
On the dream train,
we see tomorrow with our clenched fists.

Your aspirations shatter like sugar glass;
the shards taste good.

"I got kissed once," she mumbles,
sitting outside the local Sonic,
between her fingers a corndog fumbles,
mixing her slushy with beer and tonic.

The not-so-neon sign of the dive
flickers like a flashlight there;
the activity isn't alive,
its fundamental force impaired.

"I remember it vaguely," she groans,
the seat of her car squeaking,
"The times were full of gasps and moans,
my memories are fleeting."

Many things happen at night
while others are asleep.
Under the not-so-neon light,
the stillness made her weep.

Stars are actually snowballs, constantly being thrown at each other by the playful children
that are the Old Gods.
Planets are ornaments
that adorn the Christmas tree
in the center of the Solar System.
One of them has a floral pattern,
one of them has the British flag on it,
and one of them, I think, is half-shattered, only held together
by the holy adhesive that is tape.
The meteors are popcorn garlands,
that we popped the other night.
Now they're stale and flavorless,
so we decided
to decorate space
with them.

"you are dust!" said the tortoise,
chewing a leaf, the one it chewed for a couple centuries.
and i twisted my head and scratched my dandruff-littered scalp,
"why?" i said, my pondering genuine, as it tends not to be.
"because!" it said, clearly annoyed, "death is something you can't avoid,
and someday you shall rot, and be a feast for fungus,
and then your bones will wither away, eroded by time's merciless decay."
i was not impressed (though slightly scared), "i realize that," i replied.
"but how are you seeing me at this time as anything other than flesh?
i know that i will pass, and that my body will be deep underground,
worms will mate in my eye sockets, and the less said about maggots
the better. but here, in this moment, time has not run out for me, so why are you using the present tense when cursing entropy upon me?"
it stopped and slowed down chewing, eyes gazing back and forth.
"do you think my sense of time only lies in one direction? mistaken.
it can go backwards, yes, but it may go forwards too, and
some other directions you will not comprehend. divination is no delusion,
it's only logical."
the tortoise turned around and crawled away. this took a few decades.

her cigarette smelled like
a black rose on a
2:39 am nightmare
full of feelings and darkness into the abyss...
dramatic ellipses...
uh...
evil! dark! mean! bullying is bad! i guess.

a star is a type of astronomical object consisting of a luminous
spheroid of plasma held together by its own
dull, hateful gravity.
a star isn't a type of astronomical object that does not consist of a luminous
spheroid of plasma held together by its own gravity.
its own gravity is someone else's gravity.
a star is a type of being unbeknownst to us consisting of a
luminous spheroid of plasma held together by its own gravity.
a star is a type of anonymous object consisting of a luminous cube
of liquid held together by its own weak nuclear force (ungravity).
a star is a dramatic entity.
plasma is held together by its own gravity.
luminous cube of liquid
spheroid of plasma held together by its own gravity.
a star is
a star by its own gravity.
astronomical objects of a luminous nuclear star.
a luminous spheroid of plasma gravity hologram hologram hologram hologram.

That open window on the bus,
that purple hue of the dawn sky,
is just as it is.

Those repeating lyrics,
those melodies which never irritate,
whispering through earbuds,
are just as they are.

That hotel I stop at,
that sea salt pool,
its warmth in coldness,
its missing chlorine,
is just as it is.

I will praise the flickering you give off before
you start to die down, and finally
the one burst of light like an explosion
that startles the room.
Then, light no more.
They toss you before you can retire,
but maybe the dumpster is your home.
Night comes to place a gentle hand on you,
with light no more.
The other ones are buzzing, busy,
giving off a harsh glow.
Night comes to turn them off,
and then, light no more.
But they are not defective, as long
as when the night melts into day,
they still glow.
But you,
you will always be under night's force,
light no more.

saturn's interior is probably composed of a core of iron–nickel and rock.
saturn's interior is probably composed by
one of those big-budget cinematic musicians who abuse the cello -- the soundtrack's coming soon.
saturn's interior is probably composed of a core of iron like the statue of liberty
saturn's interior is probably composed of a core of copper like the statue of liberty (i forgot what the statue
of liberty was made of, i apologize, it's hard for me to keep track of these things
like what statues are made of what and which state capital has the highest population and who my state senator is).
saturn's exterior is probably not composed of a core of iron–nickel and rock.
saturn's interior is the only part that's solid;
my interior is the only part that's solid.
saturn's interior is probably composed
of a core virtue, patience or compassion, the same virtues hammered in in elementary school.
i remember when i was in elementary there were these seven posters showing the core virtues (i forget what most of them were.)
i was confused over compassion and respect, thinking they were the same thing.
the poster for self-control showed a boy looking over a table of cakes --
i suppose the point was that he was not eating them
but i bet he started eating them after the picture was shot.
saturn's interior is probably not made of cake.
saturn's interior is probably not very self-controlling.
saturn's interior is probably composed saturn's interior.

the meeting point between antifreeze and rot
undiscovered worlds in a stupid sheet of ice
i rake my leaves and ***** a flurry
from that strange backed-up faucet, my mouth.

what do little stuckists cry
when their painting talents die?
"this isn't art! you are not artists!
i'm close to art, you are the farthest!"

replica of the statue of liberty, made of
concrete, a beacon for weary motorists
stranded on route 66, endlessly
drifting in the dusty abyss, stands in front of entrance
with her readymade torch.

she mumbles into a phone, then hands us a key.
a tiny room for breakfast goes unused
and the swimming pool is cloudy,
the concrete walls reverberating
empty chlorine
pleasantries, a watered down
hotspring dream.

above the headboard
is a long mirror, spanning
the length of the smoky room's
back wall, a silvery strip
reflecting faded yellow wallpaper
with subtle unspecified flowers.

the side exit leads to an empty lot, long
grass growing out of neglected potholes, a cyclone fence
blocking off a direct route to the sonic
drive-thru.

the sky is orange, it's always been
orange, it always will be
orange, looming over distant mountains
with narcissistic strata.

If parking lots aren't art, they are at least a gallery,
cars as the masterpieces which we gawk at, pretending
to be smart -- "ah, a famous Lamborghini piece."
And if that still isn't art, then call it something else -- a form of beauty beyond our comprehension, made by no one and everyone in this town.
Those construction workers who made this are ghostly sculptors of asphalt.
The yellow lines on the road are delicate brushstrokes, laid down by the most careful of craftsmen.
One day this parking lot will turn to dust,
and that is where the beauty comes from.

the mirror you stand in is a reflection of
a river you stand in, a reflection of a
stone that in the heat of the day
is warm by the coming of sunset

earth's last wrinkling seed is decaying, and superseding it
are the ophanim-head many-winged nightcrawlers who weep
gamma rays and pray, behind their stargazing eyes,
to remember the home they remembered several lives ago

oh sonar, oh radar, oh radiophonic monarchy
please boost your signal so our kin can hear
our pleas for a tomorrow that we begged for yesterday
and let us wade in that river. amen.

are my aspirations your nightmares?
are they chemically derived from neurons?
are they a curse from
the birds of babel?
(ready or not)
do they seep out of the fabric of my mind? do they break you from the inside out?
are they dead or is that just you rotting?
(here i come.)

This disorder is characterized by three or more of the following symptoms:

1. Odd appearance or behavior.
2. Peculiar coping mechanisms that do not seem to follow any logical train of thought.
3. Fumbling with language to the point of gross disorganization.
4. Odd perceptions that can range from illusions to hallucinations.
5. Strange beliefs that fluctuate wildly depending on context.
6. Wildly wavering opinions on others -- that is, a fluctuation between idealizing and devaluing people.

These symptoms must cause some sort of impairment in everyday functioning, social skills, and workplace skills.

Ten word poems are cliche. Who even writes those things?

in the cabin green my legs were resting within the
sleepingbag on the floor (parents had the bed) i drifted
then drifted back when the door knocked i saw
the night and the night said "let's go" and we went
to wherever the night went when they woke.
down the steps white-painted wood to
the pit where a fiery group coalesced into flames
the amalgamation was chanting stories of disembodied hands
that grab the ankles of unsuspecting campers (i flinched) then
the night lead me, with their starry hand, to bales of hay
which i stacked into a staircase forgoing the horseticks to climb
upon a truck parked overnight -- i wanted to touch
the night but the night, their ethereal moon pointed my way
had to say goodnight and gave way to dawn.

david bowie sang space oddity in two different channels: one high pitched on the left side and one low pitched on the right side. the result is more harmonious than a poptart flying out of a toaster oven. the advertisements for poptarts always show gooey goodness in the middle when in reality it's crumbly crap. why is the word "crap" more acceptable than "****?" why are profanities on a spectrum, and not just this black/white state of good/bad? is it better that way?
maybe i'm rambling at this point; maybe i'm more incomprehensible than conceptual art. either way, i am an either/or blank anti-yes?
how many question marks finish this sentence???

Who are you?
I am the one who makes sure you return.
What is your favorite color?
The way your flesh is soft.
How can we be sure?
Certainty fits into insanity.
What kind of ice cream do you like?
Yes.
Is madness shared by many?
There is no way to paint pink. It is simply an illusion.

let's go home then, both of us,
in a stride we found in asylums,
shaking, burning for above.
let the windows crack and doors snap shut,
never to be opened by hand again,
on the earth where passions sleep.
one day we will return there,
a world that we have never been,
our feet ache to ache after walking.

along the shore of pink the boardwalk rose
the rose balloons can't keep up, so
ice cream melts and so do clouds, speckled.
strawberry flavors, unkempt cones, chocolate.

the other day i was on the waves
and, overwhelmed by the wake,
it crashed, i crashed. pummeling
that sand, that shore: baptism in reverse.

the candy shop, the bookstore, the
arcade, funland, the t-shirt shop, the
shell shop, the gift store, a tattoo parlor,
a hat store, boardwalk fries, purgatory.

they did away my electricity well
i don't know the make of the rubber they used
i don't know the color of water i dissipate in
they did away my electricity well

phonograph to dream to vacuum
to morse to bytes to
noise

my electricity well they did away
i can't hear the sounds of radio static
i can hear the sounds of radio silence
my electricity well they did away

steam to diesel to tube
to blood to bone to antimatter

when they jumpstarted me i sparked and shocked
i hope that nobody was hurt (but i was)
my screen was displaying impossible images
you are on the fastest impossible route

circuit to node to qubit to
ash

how did they create scrolling polygons
in a realm where dimension is reserved for the monarchs
of y and x axes, whose scepters bang
on the tiltshifting ground, undulating below?

vector to pixel to
line to happening

all mirrors serve a purpose
set me reverse a mean law
all mean men serve a ream list
send me reverse no meme law
all mean ones serve a reed nest
send me reverse no meme law
all mean ones serve a reed nest

my digital might is incompatible with my analog life forces.

it's blue where the robins lay their eggs
so the eggs themselves are blue; the nest,
not being blue, can only long to become
a comrade of the grass again. the grass is
something only wishing to be cut,
the lawnmower only wishes to be fueled
(by what?) and worms find themselves
through the pores of the skin of the flaky
earth below. rigidity is a form of division
that splits apart no self but others only.

Sick child in his bed, an inch away from falling.
He only knows his breath is contaminated.
The poor thing never figured out trigonometry or hope.

It takes a while for us to see light --
our pupils have to expand first.
A figure is beached upon the shore.

I looked up one day and my spirit fell.

We gathered round the baker's corpse
when he fell off of his flat.
Waterworks came shortly after.
Blood was pouring from his broken body,
nauseating the entire crowd.
We heard a crack coming from the asphalt prior,
which we thought to be him breaking all at once.
Some say that someone pushed him,
some say it was his job.

Partially cloudy, 85 degrees low, 90 high.
Sunny, 87 degrees low, 94 high.
Apocalyptic, 213 low, 224 high.

I would stop the
invention of aspartame. I would
stop my own
invention, just to defy
my defiance
of aspartame.

24 in hospital
Lives for centuries
bedroom lets you sleep with sharks.

where do i even begin? to point
into five outward points is an idea that
only translucent particles of nothing or everything
can enjoy with real, unwashed hands.
the glassy revery of daffodils

and powers of numbers stretch
to an aether, a void worth unmentioning, unforgetting,
reforgetting and rementioning.
i say goodnight, even if we're already dreaming,
and maybe the night might undo its amnesia.

a streetlight flickers as above
it the stars flicker, too
and below it someone's bic lighter
flickers. he flings a cigarette ****
into the storm drain.
whoever lives in the sewers
must feel awfully lonely right now.
someone's headlight is out:
an illegal asymmetry, a trick
enforced by the galleons of punk photons,
defined by waves (or particles) to ride upon
like the waves of sound that travel back and forth
between two angry motorists just laid off from work.
a new cigarette is pulled. what is this man blowing
away from his self and out towards the maybeinfinite undying
universe of unbearable light
sprinkling on him like rain that suddenly hits
a warm hornet-infested day?

i'm writing to you because of circumstances beyond our control. the universe just decided to make me scribble down this epistle. my head rains, or perhaps it's hailing. regardless of what it is, it never snows.
i have jumbled, broken, fragmented consciousness, full of drawing advice and some stupid youtube video about a cat playing the keyboard, looped on repeat for eternity.
i was at the arcade the other day when it occurred to me that the world was a blank piece of lined paper and i was the pencil. but have you ever actually had to write from your mind alone? words flee you, coming and going and not sticking to paper.
during that trip i talked to strangers as they crowded around the cabinets, despite my mama's advice to be careful in the world. some looked at me with an awkward smile. maybe there i did write something, the prose of yesterday.
only the rain in my head never becomes a storm, i suppose. just bring an umbrella.

o how centuries pass with little
regard for the
stones that they
subtracted -- ! the dribbling
of water cannot
salivate over a rock
without a speck
mixing into
that droplet, being taken away,
carrying with it the dreams of the rock's atoms.
further do the rocks align with the sea than they could ever
the earth.
the way waves wobble holds a water
jug and pours out the turquoise stars, the stars
pour out water and into water the jug
(a tremble) sobs.

this house is crowded with waiting room chairs;
this house is crowded in general.
this house has a shanty roof.
this house is made of parapraxes.
this house is made of the stuff of dreams, the stuff of sugar glass, the stuff that reminds you you are reading a poem and nothing else.
this house is a spacebar -- empty and exists to separate.
this house is made of cigarette butts and coca-cola bottles.
this house is ash -- this ash is dust -- this dust is house.
this house is broken up with empty space, dissociated.
we are those that stared up at the sky in new york city and snapped our guitars over our knees,
we are those that hallucinated t-shirts with keyboard patterns on them.
we are those that have smoked nightmares and drunk melted ice cream.
we are those that destroyed our howling vocal chords by screaming at the sun for too long, waiting for icarus to fall.
we are those that don't exist and exist at the same time, shooting the breeze at motels on the outskirts of town.

i measure snow
by the lightyear --
only a few atoms per cubic
meter.
do you hear the crystals form?

the unfeeling, passionless mist looms
over the door, like over the bin of lamb chops at the grocer's.
an exit with no entrance
a retreat with no paid leave.
why won't you let me in?

i can see so many dying stars
in that compound eye of a cockroach
who hides in the walls, behind
a shield of asbestos, turning
over onto its back, vulnerable.

a thin sheet of ice forms over a puddle.
i dip my foot in and my boot so easily permeates,
intrudes.

a kingdom wholesale, loose strings of coupons;
a throne of pepsi cartons amidst the concrete
lights shine over the infinite rows of freezers
so sample the pork and pass by the petunias
dream of the electronics display let the
laptops regard visions of the self inside which
empty bubbles where words should go but don't
flutter across up blue and white.
to buy mulch is to regard the manure as
nothing but what it claims to be.
i ordered a hotdog after checking out and i sat and ate
and there is a vending machine here that only
dispenses water bottles.

a pair of headphones with the mufflers missing
the wire that goes from said headphones to the computer
a ceramic pug in a red scarf containing tubes of paint
an ocarina that i picked up in a ghost town/tourist trap in california
a red cup for water during painting
a book called the artist's mentor
an adjustable lamp
wristbands a lover made for me
a book for savannah college of art and design featuring someone holding a large inflatable red ball on the cover
an incomplete abstract painting on canvas paper, slightly crumbled,
a box for the savannah college of art and design VR kit that they sent me
a book on writing
a book about color line and form in the visual arts
a red squishy ball inside a a fishnet containment, creating organic bulbous abscesses when squeezed
a book of poetry with a red cloth on the cover
a small packet of konpeito, a japanese sugar-based hard candy
a novelty necklace designed to resemble christmas lights, complete with glowing LEDs
a red colored pencil
a red marker
a red mechanical pencil
a gigantic anthology of american poetry i have yet to dive into
a packet of cherry jello

if it were up to me (and it isn't, it's up to dice) the universe would be made of a mixture of purples and half-aware blues,
separated only by the sardonic coolness of hologram grids.
doctor doctor! doctor doctor! focus on the wound the sun is inflicting upon the ocean riddled
with streaks of white, i'm losing the saline in its scent
and all that remains (all that shall remain) is reddened sand.
furthermore i would allow bamboo to grow anywhere it pleases
not a **** but a gift from the ground below
not messing up floor plans but rather improving them in a very experimental way you wouldn't understand
the architecture is okay
the sky is okay
the rain is full of acid but it's otherwise okay
oh please get up off the ground i need to clean it

the shape of fire is the shape of orange
the orange of fire is the shape of shape
the form of the form is a constellation
upon which cosmos dangle over
flames upon which flames dance and
upon which smoke creeps and
where candles bloom into bouquets of
melted red and white wax but
it remains marbled, not pink yet
simple addition crumbles apart:
add red and yellow and mix
all you want but they will remain
separate, swirled but separate;
the color orange is the color of candles
the candles of orange is the color color.

the sensation of a bus on the morning, a morning whose sun,
a flickering light, never goes out, even when unplugged.
you go to get a coffee, i don’t like coffee, so i keep our spot in line.
we boarded, i boarded. you were there and i was there
but really only i was there, in the end. i closed my eyes
and the lingering triggered cells of my retina maintained
your image for a few seconds. i opened my eyes again
and adjusted, never comfortable in the seat, *** and back
inevitably aching around the one-hour mark of a two-hour journey.
where we were going that day is unimportant now.
you brought water bottles, i drank the water bottles
and left none for you. i apologized and gave you the rest
of the breakfast sandwich. the hero’s journey
is a concept in narratology and sociology, among other fields
saying there is one central story, a template that all else fit.
carl jung had a lovely nose, and you have a lovely
pair of cheeks on your face (and elsewhere) and i
can’t help but kiss the ground you’re about to walk on (a blessing,
good luck to the earth for carrying your divinity).
inevitably

i know it’s a dream.
sometimes i wish that it was more than a cloud, a cloud
that hovers over us, frilly and fluffy, seeing me
heading towards the city and wanting to see the ocean
but knowing full well i won’t. neurosis, though
says i will, and as long as i’m neurotic i’m on my way
to the sea. i write about this a lot because i think
about this a lot. the driftwood i fashioned into a knife can’t cut
packages much these days.

do you see the ocean the way i do? no one does, i think.
last time i saw the ocean i cried and my
tears intermingled with the saltwater so now i don’t know
where my sorrow ends and the sea begins. i want to show you
the ocean but i’m afraid that if i do the water will bore you.
i want to feel your hand, laying down at shore, but i’m scared
to know that you’re not feeling the sand, only my love,
and i want to feel both.

i cm frm a planet far out -- far out -- out of this world (obviously).
my lungs are full of nebulae. the space between worlds is nebulae. i am nebulae.
fear is what reminds us of our shadow -- and space is just one big old shadow after all.
cmon kid go to bed there are no martians in your closet

i have palm trees growing from my scalp,
its roots my neurons,
but they’ve withered over the winter – the coconuts fell and
i use them as bowls for soup now.
i use the disintegrated crunchy remains of a palm leaf,
a tattered fan, to masquerade the satellites where my eyes were.
the sand that cools as day turns to evening
has always been under my sore feet, from birth to childhood to
now, ashes.
if this was handwritten you wouldn’t be able to make it out,
my scribbles dipping up and down like the wake that follows a ship, a requiem for  
aquatic self, aquatic selfhood, aquatic selfhood decomposed into molecules of salt
and molecules of water, NaCl, H2O, forever, etc, being stirred
and spiraled into who i could be, and who i never will be, until at last
the seaweed overbears me and i choke.

Suppose time is not best measured by a watch,
but by a symphony, two kids crying in the background, one person coughing.
Suppose space is not best defined by volume,
but by ice cream cones filled with fluid sweetness, seeping at the bottom.
Suppose love is not best calculated by chocolate,
but by those games at carnivals you'll rip yourself off for.