I spent my day
laying roses on the ground
where my sweet brother
asleep forever beside God

"so, when can I see you again?"

I immediately answer in my head;
"I hope to hold you still like this
for the rest of my funny life
just so you can see me all the time"

yet, I took a breath and said;
"after working hour tomorrow
would be very nice"

there's a time I wonder why I feel comfort
in giving so much space between me and him
while I always want to keep you under glass
the answer is simple; I don't love him, I love you
but if it only means that the love I have is suffocating
then I wish not to fall in love ever again

If I can make promises
I can promise you two things
I promise I won't chase you
Or ask you to change your mind
But I also promise
If you ever wake up missing me
If your heart longs for me
If you stare into my eyes
And say that you love me
I promise I will love you
Just the same

it was who we are;
you're a self-centered *******
and I'm the greedy *****
how you **** my mind
by telling me I'm too much
like how I never satisfy
with the space of your heart
but we have one thing in common;
we are too crazy about each other

When I got afraid of the boogeyman
or I felt like the air is colder than usual
no matter how silly it might sound
he'd spare some of his time
to let his wrapping arms and long kisses
sing me lullabies to sleep at night

Any other man can never stand up next to you without stumbling down

From all the actions
I always put away
moving on from you is
my favorite delay

there is a certainty inside your eyes
that makes me want to buy a canvas
and just write every single detail
of happiness you brought for me
until the white paper becomes black
cause I spill all the ink on earth
about the way you kiss me every 5 mins
the way you lose control like a kid
the way you smell like sugar rush
the way your joke hurts my belly
and the way you are
perfectly
fits me

So she found a smile
In the ruin of her broken heart
As it turned out
He puzzled up her pieces
And made her
Herself
In the most delicate way
No one could ever does

she doesn't speak love like any other
and she has a very ***** mouth
never expect her to say sayang
—she won't
what she'll say is anjing
so when she calls you anjing,
it means you're a very lucky guy
it also means she's in love with you
and God forbids you make her cry

I sense you so close
If your eyes open
Mine will able to see
I am faithful as if
Your caress is the password
To the wall I've sealed
I adore you as solemn sky
Turns the sea crest
Into gold when the sun sets
And I love you
As you will be, as you are,
As it is, and as long
As always

such a forgetful person that I am
forgetting important things
I never forget about you though
but I just forget that you never care

I never understand what love is
until my name answered
only to your voice

cheers to
the new open doors
the start overs
and the forgiveness
we will be facing
as we dance along
the beautiful storm
with music inside us

Peaceful sunrise entered the window
As morning poke his heavy eyes
I lay my right hand on his left cheek
But he moved it to his ear without a peek
Then he says under one's breath,
"It feels like I could close my eyes. Stop hearing the world's noises. And all the problems will disappear. Because I am here—With you"

"What is it about him?"
He is my change of weather
the snow in my summer
the sunburn in my winter
he spoils my blush-on with tears
of too much laughter or fears,
my roller coaster mood of the year

I hate him enough to leave but
love him too much to walk away
cause my whole world is all
*about him

I don't care
how many
full moon
but I left
the door
unlocked

shut my eyes, close my ears
steal my sun, torture my soul
funny how the sky fell unnoticed
and all my senses lost their role

cause I can live by everything
you are

since this will be the last time,
do me a favor;
tell me you love me
put your whole heart in it
and scream the sentence gently
until I can hear the lie
echoes louder than any truth
I wish not to believe in

You are the kind of guy
I can live with all my life
but he
he is the kind of guy
*I can never live without

Leave me all at once
so that I'd stop
swallowing your razor blade hopes,
staring at the despicable truth,
and screaming for help inside your ignorance

cause I tried so hard
searching you out
by closing my eyes
but you're still the one
—and the only person
I am seeing
and that is how I know
I had failed
the attempt
to un-love you

there is a line I see between us
in the middle of friends and lovers
a line which gets thinner simultaneously
with every quick notes we pass in secrecy

can I have
just a day of our time
maybe a walk in the park
or a coffee with heavy talk
just a moment of us
watching comedy on YouTube
laughing until we choke an icecube
just a ceremony for you or me
when I exchange vows with him
or when your son turned three
just one
just one more
of you,
brother

I watched myself staring back inside your eyes
while your fingertips caressing mine to unify
I can hear your touch whispered "I love you"
and every grain on my skin responded "only you"

If I can write this life as my book
I'd paint the sky in black and
turn her velvet hand to thorn
just so she can never touch you

my broken heart
cracks open
to the surface
of my tired flesh
they make me
look so **** ugly
but you stare at them
like they are art
and told me
how my flaws are
helping you share
your sunlight easier
into my dark sides

Prove me
every love song
you’ve sung
make them all
hear the scream
from your lungs
cause my world
is in complete mist
covered by the amount
of the feeling I miss
so for once
—just for me
just be here
be here
with me

taking off to the air
is my second favorite feeling
it makes my heart
felt as if I left them behind
somewhere beautiful
until I'm out of breath
and the first is
kissing you

nightmare kissed me
until I wake up
with swell on my eyes
and thunderbolt in my chest
cause though you're not around
I still recall your kind face
but I wonder how can
the sun still smiles without you
like any other pretty days?
then it got me thinking,
one day,
will I be
*forgotten too?

there I stood
trying to steady my balance
cause I felt the earth shook
when my eyes caught a glimpse
of you kissing her lips
as softly as how you used
to kiss mine

his face were flushed in red
while holding my hand saying,
"before you go inside,
can I kiss you?"
as his lips touches my fingertips
I calmly answered to him;
"yes, but I have another request,
kiss me when we meet again too"

With each stroke
he hit me hard enough
to make me forget
about the wrongs
and with each ******
he went in softly
so gentle, he's able to
erased all the rights
and then I came
and came again
out of his undying lust
until our bottom rain

If you remember
the good days
and the worst nights
when I told you that
I really love you,
those four words
are true
and I meant it
only for you

I wish yours did too
I wish yours did too

To your family,
You are the maestro
To your friends,
You are the safety net
To your co-workers,
You are the boss
But they can only see
What you pretend to be
While to you,
You are the lost one
~
There is a tenderness
Inside your soul
That's wide enough
To cover the hole
And I know because
I've seen it howl

must I recreate our story
to make you feel my sorry
I will do it, many times over
just let me know we're not over
so spare me more seconds and hours
and I'll patch up our flaws with flowers
cause if the sky changes from grey to blue
then I can make this right again for you

"There are a lot of crazy-******-up-mind-blowing-things going on between now and eventually"

midnight flashes with memory,
teardrops fell like a necessity
I'm dying for help, can't you see?
nobody here could save me
but you and you and you only

Take a long look at the mirror
And you'll stare into my shadow
You and me and I, you
Shall your fears be my sorrow

Still you choose to have a long blink
Had you known it will put me asleep
And you deeply scratch your face
Just to give me a permanent timeout
For the scar I barely made

I am just a tiny girl
Who's afraid of height
But cannot help
To dream so high
I could recognize
Heaven on my finger
And he is everything
But an open door
With too many mysteries
Buried inside his mind
No one has able
To discover
Yet
I have the need
To know him
To revealed his colors
To understand his
Stunning thoughts
No matter how the fall
Will caused me chaos
Cause it's amazing
How annoying
His love could do
To cure me

I am made of flame
and I am madly in love
with a guy who is made
of everything fire-proof

Who told you that we're strangers?
here me out,
this might sounds crazy
no, actually this is beyond crazy

but we've known each other
in the time before us
we've rely ourselves
leaning on one another
for as long as every pairs are made

like the bee to the honey
like the sun to the earth
inside the galaxy of ghosts
through that blackhole in space

maybe that is why the way
I speak your name rhymes
with the way your heart pulsing
and the moment you call out mine
synchronizes my breathing lungs

Greed asks me to tell him
That he shall give me more
Pride pushes me to find
Someone worth more of my time
Insecurity leads me to think
That he's playing jokes on me
Experience warns me that
He's just another heartbreaker
Wrath yells,
"You are his biggest mistake!"

Then I see you looking at me
Feeling your hand brushing my hair

That is when I hear your heart whispers,
"I love you and I am trying my best"

And so
Everything
Simply
Fall
Into
*Place

tomorrow I am leaving you
and it's fine, it's okay
but
tomorrow my eyes will open
not looking at your face anymore
and they will force my hands
to keep drying my wet cheeks
while my lips will stop speaking
any other word but your name
and my heart, my poor heart
will question everything
it ever felt about love
for all it ever known
love is everything you are

missing him is the prettiest torture;
a disease on which only he possesses the cure
now I'm starting to forget how to touch
this illness had infected me too much
mayhem in my mind, hear my soul screams
I cannot wake up with him in my dreams
cause every part of me is incomplete
I belong nowhere but next to his heartbeat

but I am a just an absurd poet
who writes about your love
from the first time it bloomed
when your light filled my room
to the moment my words bleed
when you stepped my heart with your feet

We went shopping
and while queuing
you pulled my hips close
and started to leave traces
on my back with your finger
then you hold me from behind
just like you always do
when we want to sleep
your head was on my right side
as you whispered softly;
"I changed my shampoo
to blueberry and the color
is a bit blue-ish"
I smiled, enjoying your warmth
then I opened my eyes
to another sunrise
and cried

I quit smoking two months ago
because the smoke I inhale
smells a lot like your skin
and the taste of nicotine
got me addicted as much
as your tender lips
I quit smoking two months ago
not because I wanted to
but because I had to
move on from you

If it's me and her
we could pull it off
because without a word
we are able to plan things together
it might sounds absurd
but she understands me
even with such little information
and I can predict her decisions
like I'm reading her mind

Now I understand
why a baby sleeps faster
inside a hug
because the lullabies
with the softest sound
and such gentle comfort
is one's heartbeat
playing close to our ears