I have written hundreds of poetry
with sea of hope to the crying stars
but my pen is still bleeding words
that never seem good enough to tell you;
to make you believe—
to help you understand
how much you mean to me
nor to hold you close,
to keep you
from walking out the door

but no lies can make everything's fine
and it is my trust you spilled like wine
now it's the right time for you to fear
cause you ****** me up big time, my dear

I feel cheated, you're so unfair
you speak so little with words like you don't care
but the way you softly give kisses to my face
says a lot of how much you want to crush me in your embrace

the first time he saw me cried
was the night I told him about you
cause it's so tragic how much he loves me
and I love you

and you know
the moment I step my feet
outside that big door
I will regret;
every laughter we can't share
all the tears we cannot bear
the home we both swear
and you know
you know very well
I will always care

last night I met him again
in our relationship of uncertain
when the rain was pouring
to act in place of my crying

from time to time he rewinds
the sweetest pain I left behind
with toxic love behind his line
he kissed me like his heart is mine

You introduced sorrow
And loneliness
And turned them
Into my playmates

You brought comfort
In every sadness
More than I can
Find in happiness

You made me fall
Terribly in love
With tears
Above love itself

you are giving me
lots and lots of good luck
in every morning kisses
lots and lots of happiness
in every punch lines
lots and lots of courage
in every hold hands
lots and lots of you
in everything I am

for I was once a flower
who only finds pain
as the wind and insects
scattered my petals,
****** my sweet honey
now I'd rather buried myself
to where the diamonds sleep
so that only the greatest man
will put efforts, take his time
to find me, to love me
for I was once a flower
who turns into a diamond
and I am bright, alone

now here I am again
back to another big zero
questioning everything
I've ever believed about love
praying that one faithful day
I will wake up from life

she is petite—a doll-like-pretty
they look great together; she and him
but I don't envy her, in fact, I pity her
cause she got to let go of him;
a guy who has a kind heart,
cannot be found in every dinasty,
speaks the truth so dearly,
kisses gently—hugs tightly,
free and sets me free

though he's not mine and never will be,
but I'm content enough knowing
that the girl who gets to share
his Sundays with is me

I was denying my own heart
just like how the sun was hiding
behind the moon creating total eclipse
while I know he could taste every white
in the lie through my saliva when we kissed
and it's only a matter of time
until the wolf inside me cries
saying I'm in love with him

Pardon my idle thumbs
I cannot stop them from typing your name
on my phone screen and pressing
the dial button

He is the kind of boyfriend
who will constantly asking me
list of endless questions
like a little boy who cannot stop
his curiosity about his brand new toy
and I always answer everything
no matter how annoying he gets
because I am staring at the sentences
behind his stupid questions;
where are you at? I miss you
what are you doing? I care for you
who are you with? I'm afraid of losing you

guess I'm the luckiest girl in the world

cause you granted her EVERYTHING I have always wishing you for

Right now I wish
I could bite my tongue
Until it snaps out
Just so I stop
Combining your name
And love in one sentence

if we both met and fell in love
by God's will
then why should we be forced
to separate ourselves—our love
*by what human said?

though we can never be
you have claimed
the most lovely place
inside of me

And after we fell,
Still you point us
As another mistake

I will allow them to cut my veins
and bleed me dry
while I feel the pain rushing
down my cheeks
but I will use my blood and tears
to paint my victory red
on their skin

Nobody has ever made me stand
by the tip of my toe just to taste
one single kiss like you do

Nobody also has ever made me sit
down looking at my own frown
and covered under the shadow of you

Maybe because you are
the tallest guy I've ever met
who makes my life never seem flat

you are what people call magic
while I'm everything tragic

the wolves in me howl to the moon in your eyes
and I wonder if you have any idea that you can stay
inside your walls of ocean and be separated miles away
from where I am standing and still own my whole heart

Lately i've been doing it
a little too much, too often—
somehow every second
that passes seem vivid

I swim back to our time,
deep thinking about you;
what could've happened
or what should've been

I told you once
that I'd erase every pain
I've caused you if I could
and I meant it

even up until now
I keep looking back to the past
until my present hates me
cause I just want to live the now
with you

I am God's masterpiece of art and
The Queen of my mind and heart

My tired bones are aching
for the comfort of your blanket arms
you are missing from me
you said I'm your priority
I am losing my senses
as you make me stand on fences
but the funny part is
rather than fall asleep
all of me decided to fall in love instead

The problem is
He continues to write
His love to the world
With grey shades
And let me read
A piece of his
Finished writing
—His love for me
In red blood ink
That turned into toxin
For my sight
And I keep reading
What he wrote
Until I bawl
Even when I knew
The story has ended

He is the kind of guy who attract tears
because every emotion he transfers
resulting with me dwelling in it
especially at night

like that one night when he lied
about the promise he made to come by
then he started yelling like it's all my fault
until drying my wet cheeks was difficult

or when he played the guitar string
as I lay my head listening to him singing
I yawned until tears rolled down my face
where he sent me asleep to a pretty place

maybe that other night when he tickled me
and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe
then I ended up crying of laughter
even so, I am glad we are still together

whenever I place my head to his chest
he will whispers softly to my ears
like he's afraid to bother me and my surroundings
that is how gentle his love is for me

see that? that is her in the picture
smiling next to him like a lady
knowing her, my mind drifts far away
and my heart is left empty
cause even if the situation was different
he would still choose her over me

just like that
you jumped off the edge
crossing every red lines I drew
when I said I gave up on you

I saw you broke your own borders
cause you wanted to try harder;
you need to dive into my heart properly
so that I can see how much you love me

Breathe me like the time
you inhaled right before
our very first kiss

If you're a poem
I wouldn't know
How to use
Words nor lines
If you're a lie
I'd lie
In every single talk
And you'd be my favorite
But that's just what
I am to you;
False words
And pretty, pretty lies

I am letting him go
I will be able to find someone better
I never meant anything to him
I won't come back to him
He never loved me anyway
He doesn't care for me
He doesn't want me
*He doesn't know what he's doing

Isn’t this what you wanted?
Me—gone
Somebody had to make
a solid decision, right?
Cause you cannot keep
on putting an expired food
inside your refrigerator
for it will be rot and appear
a lot awful than the last time
you left it behind

somewhere between your lips
and the melting chocolate dips
I heard my heart fell
while yours—
doesn't even ring a bell

I can stand losing sleep
I cannot stand losing *you

After the rain, under the sun beam

oh
not one thing
ever looked
so beautiful
in the right
time
cause
I could swear
I've stopped
looking
when
these eyes
found
you

The kind of yielding warmth from your kiss
is the kind of paradise I never want to miss

My oh my
The act of erasing you from my phone
is keeping both my cheeks wet

when you kissed me,
something spread out and fall
something beautiful, calm
sweet and sour tastes like lime
yet creates a hurricane
a quite rough turbulence
inside me, inside my heart
at the same time

lead the way, my darling
down to hell and suffering
I won't feel anything
cause you're that something

'Do you hear my beating heart?'
He asked me once
Well this I must say,
He is not a musician
Yet, I do listen to his heartbeat
Making a rhythm, a soundtrack
A love song
Just for me to hear

Listen to me when I say this
Come close and let me whisper a wish
Let my breathe make you shiver
Cause I'll say something sweet and bitter

Listen to me, hear every word
For my line will be sharp like a sword
Let me speak about it once a day
Cause I know it's something you won't say

"I know you want to stay, don't sway
Try harder and color the gray
Darling this could be our final bay
And if you trust me—we will be okay"

Tick tock
you're running out of time
the bomb is ticking
no more lies can rhyme
now go ahead and choose
which wire you're gonna cut loose
blue or red, no need to sweat
just cut one cause life is a bet
she is the red and I am the blue
try to keep both then I'll leave you

draw me a silver line
leave me a clear sign
for someday in the future time
I have a chance to call you mine

Fireworks doesn't captivate me
It lost its colors
Rain doesn't comfort me
It brings cold
Clown doesn't interest me
It doesn't look funny

And I

I don't fit you
Or
It's the other way around

Like east and west
Like ocean and city
Like life and death

We were told not to be together
And neither of us even bother
To work it out nor try harder
Yet, we simply surrender

To be in love with him is to have
that feeling when I'm so high
all of my senses are escalating
and it's like I suddenly have this
bad idea by inventing my emotions
just to be able to keep him beside me
maybe because he has this odd ability
to make me see the bold yellow
hanging in the air coming from
the sound of his laughter
that keeps telling me to hold on

I'm still waiting for your impossible call
until the dawn is breaking as so does my heart