Desecrated and shredded
I walk the asphalt collecting the confetti that is my heart,
Hope the celebration landed you in higher spirits
And when the proof catches up to tingling limbs
You fall from your cloud,
To crash back to reality,
You are a horrible human.

Undo the locks,
Release these iron nails,
Keeping the deep dark at its gravely bay
Let my horns rip through flesh
Teeth sharpen into daggers,
Lips blacken like charcoal,
The skin reddens and hardens.

I warned,
With the subtly of a distant storm
Whispers and calmness in words gifted
Hoping you would spare your visage,
Yet you demanded recompense
In tithes, you could not afford,
And now the tide comes.

You once spoke of existence,
How it paralleled your inability to feel past indifference
As if I could ever conceptualize blabbering words
To make sense of the gibberish and absurd
The obscure way the fabrics of reality weave in and out,
Desolately decimating credible certainty
I am unfamiliar with the language
But too acquainted with the scars they leave.

So you sit, afar,
And know that the time wars on
Waning what was left of my sanity,
My life was brevity,
And as brief as it was, this breathing haiku
I know what I wish then I knew….

Hell is real,
And she looks just like you.

Devil in your eyes
Devils always lie
Keep your hands seated to the side
Don’t you dare come close unless you’re willing to die

Keep away
Walk away
Stay far from me

Demon on your tongue
****** likes it rough,
Red flags paper the verdant eyes
And I’m fading into madness
Bullseyes locked onto the danger

Keep away,
Walk away,
Stay away from me?

Secrets in serpent tongues
Slithering in your grassy knolls
Desperate to assassinate my love
I remain bulletproof,
Reading your ritual tomes,
Sacrifice your dignity for a little notice
Did that attention give you all you ever wanted?
When you’re knee deep in your bile and sick?

Keep away,
Walk away,
Stay far away from me
Go there, now, away from me.

I’d cut you out
Toss you to the starving wolves
Let them pick apart your lumbering mass
But even under your mask
You’re insignificant at best.

Leave you to your own
Let you fester despite your growth
Because no matter what you do,
In eyes that stare back at you
In all that you stir and stew
With propaganda songs,
And protesting vigils;
Assembly halls full of sycophants.
When the lights go out,
You’re all alone.

No you see the truth is:

All that you are,
And could ever be,
Is benign.

I stand on the precipice
Of all that was and dared to exist
In the palm of fate crushed into dust
Made into flakes
As we chase our fates
Into the wind so autumnal.


The days bleed
With a light ever fading
Sun eaters over the horizon,
Love for the last time as time is fleeting.

I walk in a sea of flames
Burning my eyes,
Hoping I can catch a nocturne
Over the dead sky,
Lamenting everything you’ve said.

No, go away from me, far away.

The days bleed
With a light ever fading
Sun eaters over the horizon,
Love for the last time as time is fleeting.

An accursed thing,
****** to walk these hallowed arboreal halls
Dead oaks grasping like withered umbilical cords
To pull me in as vultures watch over me
If they could, they would lick their carnivorous tongues
To devour me under the weight of this
In a sea of flames.

The days bleed
With a light ever fading
Sun eaters over the horizon,
Love for the last time as time is fleeting.

The Days bleed.
Light fades.
Dead gods.
Blind faith.
Ill fate.
Betrayed.

The days bleed
With a light ever fading
Sun eaters over the horizon,
Love for the last time as time is fleeting.

Black alley cat,
Strutting down the walkway under the red light
Where are you headed tonight?

Pur in a stranger’s lap
For the taste of milk and honey
You’re the buyer's choice for affection
And you’re getting off on the attention.

Dig your claws into the satin,
Go on and meow out to the moon
When you’ve gotten your fix
You can go on to the next,
Feline sway in your swagger
You’re playing loose with your life.

One down and eight to go,
As you slide down the pole
Back onto the catwalk
You are brazen and bold.

Bewitch them with your hazel eyes
And bat at their souls,
You’re just a black alley cat
Strutting down the walkway under the red light
Don’t know where you’re headed.

But it’s been such a long, long night
Return to where your bed is,
All the catnip and the money won’t save you
Can’t replace the shame that outweighs you
Fur down to the floor as you’re singing a sad tune,
Was it worth it?

Black alley cat,
Strutting down the walkway under the red light
Where are you headed tonight?

Black alley cat,
Don’t break curfew,
Can’t keep you from your delights
But if the dogs can’t stay astray
I fear one may chew you up and leave you
Under the red light, in this alleyway
Crying out to the moon.

So many more blue eyes in the world
Scrolling through their rolodex
Consuming dopamine one thumb up at a time
The slang is commonplace, replacing native tongues
The hair is the same on every dumb limbering drone
Conversations sound like e-speak read aloud in an open mic
Except that the audience participates in every false interaction
As plastic as the shoreline after spring break.

Thoughts are collective in a hive mind
Crowdsourced down to their brow line
Manufactured obedience in obediently serving for that last drip
Dopamine drips in the form of a click.

Awkward silence on the subway,
If it’s not on TikTok, they can’t say
Words shift into a balloon animal display
Twisted in knots, unable to hear clarity
But can walk the dog like a yo-yo trick if it bottled sincerity
Because these blue eyes are strained and strange
Locked into a perpetual gaze into the bottomless aether
Searching for the next fix.
Dopamine drips in the form of a click.

Cliques of cliches
And Temu personaliites
A carbon copy of a copy copying copies of something copied.
And the beat goes on like an arrhythmic heart
No worry for when the pressure rises
They’d rather have a stroke than see the OH in Cheerios
Because it’s not sweet enough to find the ordinary
When you can dine on lucky charms and chase rainbow fairies
See they’re stuck, them, and they, ze or zur -
Needing that dopamine drip from the clicks

And as I watch devolution
These zombies are tethered to their thought pollution
Parasitic in their dissolution
Walking these streets with their strings tugged by the beat of filters
I know I could never be a screen ****** apparatchik.

Blur the lines until they are bokeh
As color bleeds from your eyes,
But don’t ever wonder why…

The world looks so pallid—
When saturation has drained to nil,
And everything bright has chilled.
Into the blue-black mortification of night
Like a stage light setting a scene
Who is gonna chase you, my queen?
If you scream will it be my name—
As you beg for my blade to the hilt.

Well I got you.

We twist like tethers of the same vine
Filling in our cracks, stitched —
I hope you feel my heart beat chase your breath
Syncopated rhythms, early morning melodies
From avian angels, perched upon the wires.
Bring me back to you like color,
So you can open your eyes and see…

A world so vibrant
Saturated like a prism
As the warm sun beats down its healing
I want to chase you down
Like a shot when I’m down,
Let me feel you course through me
Until I’m numb and dizzied,
You can be my Nancy
We can meet on Elm street
Forever your nightmare
Clawing at your surface
Wanna go deeper…

Need to feel you at the core
Grow something from the middle
Branch out into a new leaf,
Turn the pages of our story book,
Hope you feel the same energy
Because I’m coming to you with everything.

Can we blur the lines like they’re  bokeh?

Collapse in me like a calamity
We break bones like friends break bread
Suitable to eat all the fiction we leave
Leave no crumbs upon the porcelain
Dripping from the maw,
It’s a gathered storm we twist in the rain
Cyclic sick, motion parody
Parroting in the air we see in our periphery.

An animal touch
Gnawing through the skin
Gnashing at the veins
Tapping ancient knowledge from within
Tasting the copper essence, thicker than buttermilk
Oat notes inside iron smell,
Rust color dyed under the fingernails.
This is what I meant when I said
I want to get inside you.

Collapse in me like a black hole
Supernova laser beams bouncing through the temples
Lobotomize consciousness in conscience bliss
Constant this, a battle waged with no winners
If I take it, what would you give
And if I give what would you take?
Would the odds meet even?
Would the world cease its grievance?
Coastal in the irony
Serfs off the shore.
Surfs up collected Moores
Served up in pallid doors
Serve up to pad the wallets, sure.
I’m not immune to your history,
Hang me for my skin tone and pedigree
Take my culture and use that pasta to bury me.

Infinite waters,
Drain my colors
Paint me a new face,
Bring me to Zion
Let me see my creations
Batter me in heinous
Fry me with jealousy
Greed bleeds in green envious eyes
And I doubt you realize…
I only wanted to love the best in you.

Collapse in me like a crumpled page
Wrinkled and discarded
Rage billowed in dried ink and crude letters
Words cursed from the spittle of angered throats
Vibrating viral vehemence through the echoes of a time
No longer sated in the universes we’ve depleted
In still-born births upon our rotted stage
We play alone.

Collapse in me!

When did time become cruel
Stealing moments away
As the years clock out your youth,

Every bird flies away from the nest
Every cub becomes a bear,
When the rivers run quick
Don’t be afraid to swim the currents
And find where you fit in.

If wishing wells were real
I’d pour my wealth into the bottom.
I’d wish to go back to the time that we lost
Watching you blossom from just a wee bud
Give you all that I knew at the cost
Knowing some truths hurts more than fiction.

Remembering when you couldn’t stand tall
And the smallest little smirk when you walked vs crawl
Seeing the way you made sense of this all
Like the world was a puzzle you always knew how to solve
And now that you’re here I can’t shake this off
A fear that you’ll never need me again and I fall
Down to my knees and pray that you know.:

I love you, my little bean

And should you ever call
If ever in need —
I can be your shield and armor
Need a sword, I’ll be there and nothing can harm us
Swing for the head and we’ll **** this hydra
I’ll be there to be a prop if you need to stand taller.

Together, maybe we can slow down time,
But no matter the weather, I’ll be there rain or shine
If no one says it, then I’ll yell it louder.
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!
My beloved daughter.

What I want to do to you
Makes the flames blush,
Abashed as they flail in strobing leaps
As the stems of candles perspire
Like sweat dripping down your thighs
Staining and wetting the cobalt blue satin.

Dilated eyes,
Feign fear and stoking desire
Lips part, parched needing liquid
Need to feel the salty, ****
Soft flesh with a veiny ridge
Go ahead and drink, consume
Until my lion groans fill this room
I wanna feel you like a little death,
Babe if I die you better exhume,
Know your place when the makeup races down your face.
Need: the only thing your brain repeats
As your lips retreat and you're on your knees
Spreading love through the parting of cheeks
And I’m in heat, can’t resist
Need a lick of your nectar, a bite of your peach
Suckle all the elixir until it’s clean and neat

Need: the only compulsion in my soul,
Looking at you so spread and exposed
I can take no more of this temptation
*** tickling, your scent assaulting my nose
As I press forward breaking your ramparts
The walls come crashing down,
As the dam breaks and your ocean swallows whole
Until the bed quakes, the floor creaks, the pine aches
And our noises wake the ancients,
Haunting out the window,
Howling in the treetops,
We drink each other down like a shot
And I’m intoxicated by the way your body rocks.

Claw marks on my back
Looking like animal tracks
Lead it down my body til you find the crack
Push a digit in, I won’t push back
Give it all to you - break sound barriers
And watch everything disappear in the room
So **** thirsty for you, I need an ICU
Yeah I see you, the only ***** girl I want to rule
Come and break my rules
A good brat learns fast as the leather cracks
Red heat hand marks painted on your ***
White flesh turned pink to purple.

Need: the only reason you breathe
I’m a drug and you want a fix
To feed your greed.
Just shhh…. Take it slow
Let it slide, feel the glow
Open up your eyes,
Relax your mind,
It’ll be just fine
I’ll take you there
Where flames ballet to blush.

I want to twist with you
Like a helix creating life
In every little death,
Sinking deeper down your depths
Until we pant and chase a breath.

I want to feel your heart
Syncopated with my own
Sweat lubricating the friction
As we collide like carnival bumper cars.

I want to hear you scream,
In lost tongues conjured from hoarse lungs
As you find god in the crash upon your eager shores
Praising to the lord like a good nun,
Better pet, when the leash is tugged.

We connect like candles to a flame
Pouring hot paraffin on milky white skin
Catching an exhaled sigh with a well placed kiss
Stealing breath and stealing your soul
While we tangle under a pallid dim moon,
Devils in our delights.

***** is what you are
***** is grunge under the nails
How your gritty tales told pail
In comparison to your dingy secrets
Infectious with your soiled lies
Excrement from bitter lips
Words that never did or ever will mean ****,
Exit from your waste-filled ships.

***** is what you are,
In this way, toxic barrels rot the frogs
Or how you irradiated touch melts minds,
A walking cancer cell, and everything you say is terminal
You’re what turtles suffer, plastic nooses
To hang your head upon loose laurels kept,
***** is all that you are.

***** is what you are,
It’s diesel exhaust exhausting to deal with you
Laborious and full of smog
All for the hope you could find an in
And in the end, gaslight me again.

***** is what you are,
Like toxic markers, or lead paint
And the more you color, the more I’m unimpressed
You are sadness incarnate,
You have bad habits by definition,
And the more you try to get close
I remind myself why I fly further away.

***** is what you are.

When the rain falls,
Washing away the caked-on dirt from your face,
The thick of your web fails as the silk drops from the weight,
And I can breathe again.

Free from the venomous barbs and guilt-ridden limbs
That poke holes in my skin,
Free from my vital force being drained,
No longer a mere husk or cask
For you to tap and drain the crimson liquid,
I am no longer a dinner tray for your demonic maw.

I won’t be suffocated by your vice-like grip darkness,
I can’t be held down by the dimly lit specters,
I won’t save you from yourself,
Since you only wished to drown me further.

I am free of it,
Falling onto verdant paradise,
As the sun ignites my soul ablaze,
I can live again!

If I push I know you’ll cling harder
Though the distance brings fodder
Wouldn’t stop me from loving you

I won’t beg for forgiveness
It’s in these white walls
Where I’m giving up the sequence
Repeating the patterns that led me to madness
Hoping I could make sense of insensible reactions:

We collide, and disperse, to collide, and reverse
All in one motion, we sing like one verse
But our parts are in different tones.

So if your walls are constructed from steel
I’ll be the
Adamantium to cut right through
If you try to deaden my worth—
Then my words will eat at the center again.

You can push me, but you know I’ll cling harder
To the way that you are in the hope that you’ll be
A burning star upon my blackest skies
When I feel the light die,
And all of our commotion begins again.

We twist like rope strands
Tighter than a vice, caught knotted in our sins
Loving you is a knife and we cut through our skin
Bleeding into the deep of our maws
I’m caught in your grip, ripping you in the jaw
Hoping we can exist beyond the heat of these planks
Burning bridges to rebuild the rivers we row.

We collide, and dispense, to collide, and reverse
All in one motion, singing as one verse
Caught off in the distance,
Maybe one day I’ll be forgiven
Push as you pull and I pull as you push
Give me all and nothing or everything at once.

Would it be enough,
If the wind between us was but a breath apart
And I could smell your perfume as clear as
An ocean breeze upon a private beach?

Could you feel content
If our tender hungry lips
Finally collided like warring ships
Tongues twisting like Kraken tendrils
A war on two fronts until it hit a crescendo —
Of panted breaths and red heated flesh
Left feeling needy?

I am restless with intent
Intended to undress your tension
In kneading palms against knots that know not —
The ways I work magic in sculpting fingers.

So sh, silence those eyes
And lower that protesting volume
I know it’s been a while,
But I will love you like a fairytale
And you can tell me what you want in the ever after.

I yearn for the freedom of a bird, soaring high above the mundane,
Yearning to break free from the constraints of the grounded world.
When did the spark of imagination flicker and die?
Leaving behind a monotonous existence?

I long for the carefree days of carnival rides and cotton candy,
The thrill of the wind stealing my breath as the roller coaster swoops down the track.
I remember the awe-inspiring spectacle of fireworks,
Not the passive indifference that once filled me,
But the vibrant colors that danced in the sky,
Not muted and mildly annoying.

I crave the excitement of skipping school,
Feeling the rebellious spirit coursing through my veins as I run up and down the halls,
Instead of the tiptoeing and begging that now characterize my days.
I yearn to experience the fluttering of butterflies,
The nervousness of a first kiss,
And the pit of my throat clenching with the fear of asking a crush out.

Where did that innocent anxiety disappear?
When did imagination succumb to monotony?

I miss the simple, crude drawings I used to create world-building,
The comics of my own design and mind,
Characters rich with backstories and lives of their own.
Now, I struggle to put pen to paper,
I wonder if my words ever truly resonate.

Do they understand me?
Was I ever truly understood?
How I wish I could start over, grow in a way that doesn’t **** my garden,
But there’s no rewind.
I could wish on every four-leaf clover, but that’s not enough.

As I watch them fly overhead,
I can’t help but feel a sense of envy and longing.
I yearn to be them, carefree and clinging to the freedom that seems to elude me.
The air rustling through their feathers,
Taking me away into the ether is a tantalizing reminder of what I could’ve had.

Through the shine of the window
As the sun teases the flesh of her hero,
She stretches upon the mattress,
Annoys him with her lapped kiss
All across the face, begging him to rise.

Here at her bowl,
She wags and waits for his control
As he gets, a scoop full of her favorite yummies,
How she salivates drools with an ache in her tummy
My girl, she devours within moments
And then she sits, waiting for the moment
I submit, those doe eyes looking up at me

We go, the backyard retreat.
She gives her red flying disc
And I throw to the distance, hitting the fence
She runs with a thunderous speed
And we repeat until we both take a tiresome seat
And through her panting and unrelenting breaths
I see her smile and know I am loved,
By my most precious pet.

A moment of riverbank fog,
In the earliest morning,
Before the timid sun rises over the horizon,
Aghast from the surging push of a breeze,
Watching the tall grass sway like fingers out car windows.

The musk of Petrichor and Dew
Pervades every olfactory nerve,
Invading taste and thought like an intrusive guest,
Submissively I drop to my knees,
Bowing to the bountiful grace she bestows upon me.

As the waters clear,
And the sweet mandarin orange paints the sky,
I am comforted like a swaddled babe,
Perfect and clean.
Unlimited in my pursuit of peace,
I am burdened only with impatience,
Blessed with the soothing effect of her touch,
Awash in the company of the ancient groves,
Enthralled by the emerald city as her Vedant kin call to me.
From clay to bone, and back again,
Gaia, watch over me, all mother.

Drink me in,
Hydrate on the simple sights,
I know you have a thirst
Skin so pallid and dry
Let me wet your lips.

You got hunger pangs
I can hear the rumble,
Core disrupting crawling to the surface
Use that magma to touch me like a volcano
Dive into the abyss
Devour until I am crumbling.

You got needs,
I can see it in your glassy eyes
Pleading with a whimper,
It’s easy just to tease
With a simple coax of a finger
Come to me, come to me
Come for me…

“Good girl”

You want to confess,
So down on your knees,
Look upon your altar,
Praise the rosary when you roll your hands on me
Beg me to appease,
And we can play with your sins.

Do you like it in the dark
Paint your porcelain in neon shadows
Pinks and purples dancing off you
Trying to loosen the leather lined with fleece
Love when you’re in my cusp
Drink me in, beg me, please
Devour every moment spent,
Pray for release.

“Good girl”

Following the tracks,
I pick up the scent of everything that attracts hate.
The smell is pungent and bitter, like a rotten apple.
But I’m going hunting; I’m the hunter.

It’s a watershed moment when the villains rouse their cheers.
A paradigm is built from the ruins of fallen heroes.

They sing their songs,
Praising the things they’ve razed with their iron shackles,
Honed with a need to peck the bone.
They scavenge off the sick and mad.

But I’m the hunter, and I’m going hunting.
I follow in shadows,
Watching with purpose.
Should the city cry out,
I’ll bring the game.

Feed a future—
Full of the fruit of the garden.
Wearing snake skin,
I’m alive in the light of enlightenment.
And I’m a hunter, and I’m going hunting.

We were chasing shelter when the sky opened up and wept for us amidst our adrenaline rush.
I found wetted hair a marvel,
As mascara ran like rivers,
And your eyes still resembled round oceans that I would lose myself in.

Street lamps, their orange incandescence resembling fires upon the puddles,
Created bokeh bubbles that popped with a splash,
Rippling the reflection.
Yet, I saw you like a newborn catching sight for the first time,
A vision of divine beauty in the neon nightlife.

We shivered and laughed,
Our kisses sealing the silence that crept in.
Music played through cracked apartment windows,
Casting a pale light upon us.
I took your hands and we danced within the tears of broken clouds,
A waltz made for those singing in the rain.

I’ll disappear,
Like a caustic wind,
Pestilent, killing growth
Bridges made of vines divide
Greener pastures die, wheat yellow brittle
And in the blink of an eye
I fade away, ethereal, lost in the expanse.

Far out of reach, the stars betray
Misaligned, I can’t trace your face
Lost in the splendor of diamonds
I’ve blinded myself--
Flailing like a flickering flame,
Effortlessly burning for you
Endlessly searching the cosmos.

Brackish waters,
Consume me,
Pull me under to the bottomless
Floating in the deepest depths
Indebted for the moments stolen,
All I see in this infinite is a silhouette
Staring back in an umbral effigy
Will it feed my lungs oxygen
So I can breathe you in one last time?

We romanticize the dagger piercing,
Ripping tissue and muscle to find,
My heart lacked a cadence,
Syncopated, arhythmic.
Moribund feelings mourn love
That you stole like a hoarding wyrm,
Smaug smelting until the smog
Cast me in the molten gold
Plated for your pleasure

Arctic cold,
The skin has gone rough
Eyes bored out and reddened;
Anger steeped like a Sunday tea
I’ve been granted a chance,
Seize away humility.
And chase the storms that married me.

A cyclone wedged inside a typhoon
Bedded with a knife wound
I’ve carved my heart in the shape of one,
A valentine unsent in the place of your scent
I smell of smoldering flesh
I am of the lingering dead
Swamp bathed and doused in kerosene
Can you see my devotion now?

As I dance alone,
Under the starlit nocturne
In a sea of flames!

If I could compare it,
It would be like kerosene to a flame, combusting when mixed.

A Fourth of July spectacle,
As bodies collide to thunderous applause,
And all the colors expand in the clash,
Like an explosion of blooming flowers,
Scented with our filth and sweat.

If I could describe it,
It would be carnal, unmentionably visceral.
How the grip of hair pulled back causes such sounds,
And pools of waves crash from your shore to the boat mast,
Begging me to come to sea and ride in your tropical waters.

We are a storm,
Fronts mixed until the twisting begins,
And like a cyclone, this room becomes ground zero.
Broken lamp shades, decimated sheets,
Bed frames torqued and twisted.
We are animals of nature, driven by a need,
Like an addict’s itch to scratch beyond the surface.

If I could, I would bottle it like a Red Bull,
Sell it to give others a taste of your wings,
Intertwined with the notes of my demonic horns,
Rooted with ginger and a splash of lemon,
And all the dopamine a depressed person should need.

It is that good, and you are a drug I could never quit.
A kiss upon the peach flesh,
Or tender lips, with just a hint of mint.

Chasing Sera Tonin
But she’s too far to reach.
Legs are gelatin, blood loss adrenaline
Need to feel whole again,
Call out with an SOS, there’s-
A man down needing his medicine.

There you go again,
Chasing Sera Tonin
Needle hits the record
Repeating the patterns.
Time slows to a stalled crawl
As eyes roll back and it feels like
Every atom is a bomb when the veins go
Exploding for a bit of her glow.

You’re a dope I mean,
Really look at you in that mirror,
Does it ever reflect a person you recognize
Or is the vision never getting clearer?
Chasing Sera Tonin,
Nasal passages cut from granules
Brain feeling the weight of -
Everything intangible,
Will the narcan angels flash their neon
Just to give you your wings?

Send out the SOS
Oh, there’s a man,
He needs his medicine

Chasing Sera Tonin
You’ll never catch her,
You’re a dope I mean,
And you won’t receive her
With polluted receptors