I am an erudite person
I have a thirst for knowledge
and I yearn to learn more and more
the internet is there for me
to explore all my interests
and ingest the information
I am an erudite person
I want to fill my brain
with interesting facts
and morbid facts

walking on eggshells in that lonesome house
your mood was capricious
I was scared of you and your anger
one moment you were fine and agreeable
then if I said the wrong thing
you would fly into a fit of rage
I never knew what was the right thing
or wrong thing to say
anything could set you off
and I was your victim
it was always me
you hated for some reason
no longer do I live with you
and your capricious mood

normative or normal
not a word to describe me
I don't want to fit in
or blend in with the crowd
for the sake of acceptance
I want to be me
and I am proud of me
for being myself
I will not minimize myself
for the sake of being normal
stares and hate comments
are worth it all
if it means I can be me
and stand proud of it

my sadness is evanescent
soon I will forget how it made me feel
I used to feel empty everyday
now I feel joy and contentment
my sadness is evanescent
drifting away
out of my memory
the feeling of sadness
will be a foreign emotion

eclectic that's how I'd describe myself
different from the rest
not in a pick me way
just in a way that I don't even try
and I'm different
I don't do it to impress someone
I like poetry and writing
I like wearing bold and eccentric makeup
I like wearing heaps of homemade jewelry
I like being me
I like laughing loud and hard
until I can't breathe
I like acting weird
and driving my parents crazy
from my quirky acts of love
I like being myself so hard
that only the real ones stay

Empty wine glass
Stale pizza
Cold naked toes
Sun left me lightless

Fridge is road-trip distance
Further to the sock drawer
Light switch is moons away
Remote earns its name

Where is my alacrity,
my willingness,
my zeal?

I’ve misplaced all my fervour,
ardour,
gusto,
warmth,
and spark

My promptness
and avidity
are now in
blue lividity

No relish,
bright celerity,
or genial rapidity

Just me
and stale pizza
--lamenting

Gone too soon
My lost sparkle

Of all my travails
Tryouts, dry runs, and run-ins
This one changed my path

Tension, danger, tears
escapes, hijinks, burns, and blood
Love in there somewhere

Detailed and hazy
True and unreliable
Funny and awful

My event record
Muddy origin story
Memory-flashed tale

Told and re-told to others
To learn more about myself

You, yes you
The one always seeking my validation
I deny your application with a simple snide smile
And let you know with snark reverence
That you think that you’re relevant
But you mistake not giving a **** for passiveness
Truth be told, I bide my time,
One sunshine at a time in my backyard with my pup,
Just us and my peace of mind.

So if being pugnacious makes you validated
Let you forever fire salvos over my iron dome
And know that when you come a knocking’
There’s nobody left at home,
Because I’ve already moved on and into the next frame
Where life for me is but a shade of happiness you could never afford in shade,
I leave you here with pittance, rot, and shame
Argue with ghosts that haunt you, but the mirror holds the truth to blame.

I write with uninhibited passion,
Drawing inspiration from the depths of my wounded soul.
The scars etched upon my chest,
Like riverbeds carved by a relentless force,
Serve as a constant reminder of my struggles.
My heart races like a war drum,
Creating a rhythmic cadence that resonates through the pages,
And reaching the very eardrums of those who dare to read the scriptures.

I write with the grace of a healer,
Smoking sage and smudging against the ramparts of my own mind. In this act of purification,
I strive to cleanse the filth from the membrane of my thoughts, allowing them to flow cyclically like filtered air—
Clean, pure, and easy on the chest.
I take deeper breaths, allowing my spirit to soar.

However, when praise is bestowed upon my efforts,
And the inkwell dries, I become chary of their accolades.
To captivate you in awe, I must bleed upon the page,
Pouring my heart and soul into every word.