One day you'll realise
All these lyrics were about you
In fact, I think you're smart enough
To figure out
What they've been all about
Doesn't take a genius to figure it out
You left me in a pool of doubt
Questioning myself why and how
Could I ever let it come to that
Letting you go was the biggest mistake
That I've ever made
And I didn't do it just once but twice
Why did we have to suffer the price
In my head none of this **** makes sense
In time you'll come to see
I was only telling you the truth
It was always gonna be me for you.
And the love that I had for you was real
Whether you choose to believe it or not
That choice is yours, in the end
But for me, none of this went according to plan
And I spent the time
To try and deal with all the pain
That's messed with my brain
And now I'm just trying
To make this right
Can't you understand it
From my side
I wanted you to be
The other part of my life
But it was him who won you, not me
And look what happened in the end
I told you he would **** with you again
I told you to trust me
I tried to be there
I tried to defend your heart
honestly, you didn't really care
Or believe in anything I said
And now I'll leave the rest in your hands
To choose what we should be
I wanted you to know
What is on my mind
And this is the way I can do it right
I want us to still be friends
Maybe more
That choice is yours
Because I'm not sure
what you think anymore
You haven't been making this easy lately
But I can't blame you
I think I've hurt you real bad
But you hurt me to
I just hope you understand
I'll always be there to stand by you
No matter what happens
I love you till death do us part
Girl you've always got a place in my heart

©2017 Written By Benji James

Musics my art,
It's like a sketch,
Sculpting a verse,
Made out of words.
The music it's the painting
,
The colours, the tones, the shades.

When the image is complete

It's a beautiful picture, expressing emotion. 

Feeling, seeing, hearing, 

It's perfection, in the motion,

It's the creation,

It's the notion,

It's your blood,
sweat tears and devotion
,
That makes it worth it in the end
.
It's the message you send

to change lives again and again.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Should have known it would come to this,
plagued by all these thoughts,
how did I miss all the signs,
tried to give you my all,
Handed you my heart on a plate,
Only for you to drop it on the cold hard floor.
I’m in pieces, scattered, shattered,
baby I can’t do this anymore.
Had to go, this time baby,
I had to walk out the door.
Can’t keep letting you hurt me, like this.
can’t say I didn’t try,
can’t say I didn’t try to fight,
had to do this, had to say goodbye.

I’m looking up, looking forward
Where to next, I’m not sure
Not sure, what the future has in store.
Guess I better take a few steps
See where this road leads
Where will I go,
what new faces will I see
Keep telling myself.

Come on just breathe in deep,
you can do this
Done this a hundred times before
Pick your heart back from the floor
Roll up your sleeves,
gotta breathe, lift your head high.
You know what you gotta do next right,
just breathe in deep,
You can do this, Take a few steps,
then take your next breath.
Don’t look back, keep moving, keep breathing.

People say sometimes,
you just need to write a new chapter,
I say why not throw away the whole book,
yeah start fresh all over again.
Because this story doesn’t seem to be going my way.
Sometimes you gotta make a big change,
So things don’t feel the same
Need to set a course in a new direction,
Take elements of this life that I like,
and apply it to a new life,
I can be proud to call mine.
All these thoughts are coming from deep within,
My mind feels clearer then it has ever been.
Only question left, Is where and what do I do next?
Sometimes it’s just best to keep walking until you find,
the next mountain you need to climb,
so you can feel on top of the world again.

I’m looking up, looking forward
Where to next, I’m not sure
Not sure, what the future has in store.
Guess I better take a few steps
See where this road leads
Where will I go,
what new faces will I see
Keep telling myself.

Come on just breathe in deep,
you can do this
Done this a hundred times before
Pick your heart back from the floor
Roll up your sleeves,
gotta breathe, lift your head high.
You know what you gotta do next right,
just breathe in deep,
You can do this, Take a few steps,
then take your next breath.
Don’t look back, keep moving, keep breathing.

©2017 Written by Benji James

It seems the more I look around
There are people conflicting in themselves
The hatred seems to store in itself
And there wandering around without a hand to grab onto 

Hope, is lost

We watch as they fall

Nobody knows what to do

This is what society gives you 

The calmness is now violence out of control 

And instead of looking for answers within them self

They start taking it out on everybody else

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

What you heard sometimes are not true.
It could be fake like a smile I gave you...
the loneliness inside is killing me now,
Trying to look for your hand to grasp.
Your memories gives me hope in a world
where everyone is so easy to judge
And I've had enough oh

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

I've seen the hurt
I've felt the scars
I've heard the screams in the dark
You breathe each breath
As if it's your last
Your forming in the shadows
Feels like you're losing your place
You feel like you're morphing into another person's face
Take these wounds that never heal
Take another pill to help you deal
Scrape another cut to express how you feel

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

give me the shadow to lead the way,
A light to follow in this dark place...
one more cut and I'll be losing my way...
Give me the time of day
Give me the chance to show I can change
Take a look, open up your heart
Know the story before you judge
Not everything you hear is real
Not everything you see is how I feel
Sometimes we hide behind a smile
Sometimes we keep the tears inside
Until we unleash them alone in the dark of the night

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

©2017 Written By Benji James

Got high on drugs
Drunk on the bub
Depression was a test
A man left for dead
I didn't think I would
Get back up again

Take a look
I am still here
I am still living
With all, I've been through
You bet it was a mission
But I've cleaned up
straightened out my life
Never could have made it
Without you in my life

Was left in debt
A bankrupt man
People saying he's crazy
How could he make it
Back to his feet again
the road was long
and the climb was steep
I was determined
To make it to my feet

Take a look
I am still here
I am still living
With all, I've been through
You bet it was a mission
But I've cleaned up
straightened out my life
Never could have made it
Without you in my life

Girls gave me hell
Never good enough for them
They wanted everything
but me in the end
Thank god I didn't marry
Thank god I didn't stray
But I lost my stride
the fall had broken my pride

Take a look
I am still here
I am still living
With all, I've been through
You bet it was a mission
But I've cleaned up
straightened out my life
Never could have made it
Without you in my life

I am still here
And I am still living
The scars dig deep
But I'm still breathing
I am still here
And I am still living

©2018 Written By Benji James

Have you ever met someone,
that made you reevaluate your life.
It's there spirit,
it breathes in new life.
You're like that breath of fresh air
,
That I really needed
You've got that, love of my life,

Kind of vibe,

and nothing's gonna kick us down.

I'm ready to take that ride,

by your side, love is blind, 

but not in these eyes,

I can see it in your face,

In the way that you speak,

you're that girl for me.

©2017 Written By Benji James

You were taken way to soon
I guess God has big plans for you
How can I deal with these feelings
How can I concentrate
When I don't understand
Why you, were taken away
I'd come and join you tonight
Up in that starry sky
But I know you'd want me
To keep on living my life
So I promise you I'll fulfil my dreams
Just like I told you
There's still so much I haven't given
So tonight this one is for you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
Sometimes it's hard
Just to make it through the week
Nothing has ever cut this deep
Why did you leave us
Why did God take you away
Why couldn't he have just let you stay
I question that every day
I know you'll still guide me,
I know if I'm lost.
You will find me
I feel your presence inside me
You'll always be here to stay
Nobody can ever take that away

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

The memories never fade
I can still clearly see your face
And the way you assured me
Everything's gonna be okay
I remember your embrace
The smiles you always gave
All the laughs and tears we made
I remember all your advice
Didn't even have to think twice
You pick me up
When I need you the most
You may have been, taken away
But I know you're here in me

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I'm still torn,
That you're gone
But I know
you're always gonna be
Right here with me
I look to the sky
When I need some advice
Because I can still hear your voice
It speaks from deep inside
Telling me everything's
gonna be alright
I know you're out there
I know you care
Oh this one is written for you
I dedicate this song to you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I miss you
You'll always be in my heart
Hope you're feeling all my love
I never have to say goodbye
Because I'll see you on the other side
Up in that starry sky
In the starry sky
In the starry sky

©2018 Written By Benji James

Don't know why I'm seeking your approval
This feeling is so unusual
You and I are classified as unsuitable
She struck fast with her lightning eyes
She could see my torn soul, from the outside
Now she's pulling me apart piece, by piece
Reopening old wounds 
That took so long to heal
And everything just feels surreal
The ledge I was standing on wasn't stable
I'm not sure if I'm able or not
Able to reach for the sky above
I keep trying to believe in love
when I just started to get high 
Something rips my wings from my back
Then I'm brought crashing down to earth
then reality starts to surface
that these make believe feelings
Just don't suit me
us two just weren't meant to be.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm tired of bending over backwards
For somebody who just couldn't care less
Well you can just go to hell
Cuz I'm sick of dealing with circumstances, I've dealt
And all the pressures I've felt
I let down all my defences
Left my self-defenceless
Now I'm starting to lose all of my senses
And nothing makes sense cuz
You just went and walked away?
No, it doesn't work like that in my heart babe
I wanted you to stay
I tried to make all the badness go away
But this ain't a game
And I know you are not coming back
Yeah but you got to admit
what you did was slack
Yeah everything I thought you were is obviously a load of crap
I don't know what we can salvage from the wreckage
But what I'm dragging is heavy
And all that you bring is hectic
But I don't wanna be separate
when it comes to you
I'm mixed up with my emotions
I'm not sure whether to give you total devotion
Or if I'm better off without you around
Do you see what I think and feel now?
You can form an ocean of misery
I could drown trying to get out
But I'd rather burn in the flames
With you in my lane
And Nah I'm not ashamed
Of what I feel
Cuz you and I are one in the same
And neither of us is to blame
I just can't give up
On you, on us
So take all my love
But don't hurt me too much
Because I don't know if I'm enough
But for you, I'd bleed all my blood
Drench me to the bone
With all the pain you own
Together we can sink like a stone
You and I should never be alone
So come back, honey
We can work it all out
There's no need to fight this war
No need to scream or shout
Because you're my top priority now
I told you that before
But I'll try to give you more
Than I did before
Yeah, now I know that I'm sure.

©2018 Written By Benji James

They say bring him back
Where's he gone?
Where's he been?
She said.
"Whats this,
what's this, State you're in,
Can you, Can you answer this?"

They say he's gone crazy, baby,
from all the heart ache.
Blurry, Blustery, Bright eyes open wide,
this darkness that grows inside,
is closing in for the ****.
Fallen angels won't fly tonight,
Broken, Beaten and Bruised.
Fallen angels won't fly tonight
My souls tearing up on the inside.

Finally learning how to stand
on my own two feet.
No ones perfect,
there is a life to live,
take chances, love, hope, give,
You want me?
Come find me.
You need me?
Don't keep on crying, I'm not hiding
Faced my fears,
Though the road is rough and hard.
I still keep on fighting, keep on fighting

Keep On Fighting,  
until the end,
live life with no regret.
Keep On Fighting,
until The end,
Though the road is rough, and hard.
Just keep on fighting.

This angel has fallen from the sky,
Innocence was lost, never found.
Down, Down, Down, He fell,
crashing into the ground.
He used to stand tall and proud,
But his wings were taken,
Its blasphemy, to envy thee,
But I fear my wings won't return to me.

Could he fly, Could he fly again?
Pretend you could go back to then,
Change, Rearrange everything that's happened.
Would you go back,
Would you change your life?
Keep on fighting, instead of fearing,
what you have done, take the pain,
face the consequence,
or live with regret in your banishment.

Am I, Am I to blame?
That this fallen angels,
Never gunna fly again.

©2017 Written By Benji James

INTRO
She said you could
Write me a love song baby
But that doesn't mean
You're getting anything

From me.

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V1
(Hey) I've been there
Don't take ****
But this girl,
She is fine
Just wish I could make her mine
You know what I'm saying
She doesn't come easy
Got a work hard (Yeah)
She expects commitment
Trust and stuff
But I don't care
I'd do it for her
She's the only girl I want
In my arms, Gunna hold her tight
Kiss her and tell her she is my life
(Yeah) Can't seem to get her
out of my head
Got my pen on the paper
The thoughts come out
And I'm writing something
New every single night
It's all about you
I can't stand this girl

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V2
I've had a fist full of regrets
Seen a million sunsets
But for some **** reason
I can't seem to forget
Trying to put you
In an outlet
But your still there in my head
(Hey) Do you feel me
Do you understand
What's being said
(Yeah) Got love songs on repeat
No wonder I can never
get to sleep
To busy thinking about you
And all of the things that we could do
Oh baby

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V3
(Hey)
Hey, Is there anybody out there
(Hey)
Hey, Do you hear what I'm saying
(Yeah)
Can you understand me
Do you get what I'm feeling
The memories keep flying
Soon I'm gonna be busting
Through the ceiling
Do you know
What you do to me
I just wanna feel you'
And kiss you into the evening
There are four words
I gotta say to you
and that is
(Baby I Love You)

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

Lyrics just aren't hitting
Like they should
Everything I've been doing
Just hasn't been that good
I'm losing faith
Too busy chasing girls
Putting dreams in the fire to burn
Why I try and find love only to get burned
When will I ever learn
I should put these dreams first
Just keep letting lines fly out the window
Like I'll remember that even though I don't
Thought I was killing it
Truth is no ones feeling this
And I've lost the connection
I once had, feel disconnected
It's all going bad

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

Not gonna let another line
Just slip through the cracks
I want them to take notice
I want them to see the flame is still there
See I'm still striving for greatness
Come to far to turn back now
And if they don't take notice that's alright
I'll find something that will capture the mind
I have and I can
Sometimes I wonder if anyone understands
The things I'm going through
And the proof is in the words
that I write
This is the story of my life
Within the lines that I write
If you want to know me
It's right in front of your eyes
Always throwing my heart out on the line

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

It's in these songs
That's where I belong
It's in the sentences
My emotions lie
It's in the way I write
It brings out the thoughts of my mind
It's the power it brings
It's the inspiration it gives
That makes it so special to me
It's the way it can change somebodies life
It's the way it always changes mine
It's the way it can make me see things in a positive light
The time it's always been mine
I'm grasping on, yeah ready to fly
Aim high, will you come along with me for the ride

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

©2017 Written By Benji James

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

Follow the road
Of paved stone
Concrete laid beneath my feet
Yeah turn on the lights
I'll hit the stage
Surrounded by anarchy and rage
Like an animal in a cage
That's my cards well played
But god I'm glad
that I didn't stay
In this place

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

Hear the crowds roar
Memories locked and stored
Some that just burn to the core
Never be the same person as before
Run away little train
From the thinking in his brain
Try to break free of these chains
Burnt by the flame
Bound by his own shame
That was the day
That the monster came

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

©2018 Written By Benji James

Running from my reflection
in darkness and perception
turned my back on the world
things weren't getting better
tried to fight
I don't deny this
I'm just not getting up this time.

With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

Confusion and stress
Are your only friends
in a dark, dark world
there's no conviction,
just a lot of anguish
and contradiction.


With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

I don't want to play
life's cruel games
I tried to run away
But there is just no way.
Life's hard games
are a constant shadow
of endless days and dismay.

With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

He took a razor blade
and slit his veins
ran out to the street
in the cold hard rain
there he collapsed
in amounts of pain.

With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

His best friend saw
and started running
she went to her knees
and tears started gushing
down her face
She started breathing heavily
as she fell out of place.

With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

She looked deep into his eyes
As she cried, please don't die
He looked up at her
with tears in his eyes
He asked can you kiss me
one last time,
before it's time to say goodbye.

With every breath,
the days get darker.
With every touch
life gets harder.
I'm not that strong
don't get me wrong
I tried to pick
up the pieces
but they're all gone.

©2017 Written By Benji James

What’s this feeling, you’re stealing
I know why you’re heavy breathing
It’s from all this ****** teasing
I know why I’ve got you screaming
It’s from the ****** I’m giving
Let your body rock with me
Talk to me baby
With your hips and the way they work
Take my breath away
With the way you ****
And I can’t help but feel flushed
The way you’re making my heart rush
Don’t stop now, can’t get enough

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

Girls in stilettos oh, oh
Dress around her waist
Every inch of skin a new taste
Not a moment goes to waste
Pleasuring you, that’s my place
Lips on lips, face to face
Don’t want to escape
Your eyes gaze
Take me to outta space
With your loving
I’m something you crave to take
And you’re the drug I need
To fix this addiction
Yeah get the stress out of my system
Like that cheeky smile, you’re giving

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

It’s getting steamy
Sugar rush is high
Take it to the table
Take it to the couch
I’ll take you anywhere
You want to do it, babe
I need all of you
Yeah you hear what I’m saying
No games here, not playing
All of you is all I want
So baby give me
All that you’ve got
Too much is never enough
Keep it coming, girl
You’re fire, I like the scent
There is no regret
I like the way our time gets spent
Yeah you get me off
In all the ways you know how
And that’s why I’m climaxing now

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

©2018 Written By Benji James

Look who just went
and broke my heart
All over again
Luckily this time I was prepared
Pen in hand, armours marked
But I'm not dead
Of all the lies
that I've been fed
I think yours have been the best
And I don't know what to believe
All those words that
come out of your mouth
I still can't ******* figure you out
There's no finding our way back
To what we were now

You can hit me with
I've never had you
But you've never had me too
So I'm giving my heart
To a girl that's just not you
Sick of having my heart
Thrown to the floor
This just ended like before
Except for this time
I'm the one walking
Out of that door, Yep!

Should mark my album with your name
Nah I'm just going to turn the page
You and I
Are never going to be the same
Don't come running back to me again
I'm a whole lot of over this
Nope you can't fix this
No, no girl, I don't want your kiss
You can't fix this,
You can't fix this

Ouch, ouch,
Wait, did you just say
I'm the one who doesn't care?
I'm pretty sure
I'm the only one
Of the two of us
Who even cared at all,
You were always looking for a way
To push me away
Then you'll realise what you did
And I'm always stupid and forgive
But this is it, I've had enough
Of this one-way street love

You can hit me with
I've never had you
But you've never had me too
So I'm giving my heart
To a girl that's just not you
Sick of having my heart
Thrown to the floor
This just ended like before
Except for this time
I'm the one walking
Out of that door, Yep!

Should mark my album with your name
Nah I'm just going to turn the page
You and I
Are never going to be the same
Don't come running back to me again
I'm a whole lot of over this
Nope you can't fix this
No, no girl, I don't want your kiss
You can't fix this,
You can't fix this

Been sitting here thinking
Maybe I'm wrong,
Just kidding, I'm not
Are you getting frustrated
With this whole situation?
Back and forth in your head
Can't make decisions all over again
I don't need you, I don't need this
All I need is a number one hit
And I really think
that this might be it
And I'm smiling through my teeth
Can you see, can you see me?
I'm not trying to attention seek
Oh stop it, please

You can hit me with
I've never had you
But you've never had me too
So I'm giving my heart
To a girl that's just not you
Sick of having my heart
Thrown to the floor
This just ended like before
Except for this time
I'm the one walking
Out of that door, Yep!

Should mark my album with your name
Nah I'm just going to turn the page
You and I
Are never going to be the same
Don't come running back to me again
I'm a whole lot of over this
Nope you can't fix this
No, no girl, I don't want your kiss
You can't fix this,
You can't fix this

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm sorry that I was born ugly
I'm sorry I was even born at all
Just to grow up and be an idiot
I'm sorry that I fake my feelings
I know everyone thought I was doing fine
Truth is in my head I'm lying dead on the pavement
And in my heart, there is nothing there at all
All my ambitions went flooding out the door
Now it's just me and these four walls

©2018 Written By Benji James

Ooh maybe I hate this life
A little more than I should
Maybe one day I'll stop,
reaching for unrealistic dreams
And make something good
Maybe I'm starting to believe
That what you will is what you could
You can reach for stars
Dream for fast cars,
Hope that you can
create a large buzz

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

I'm anchored far from shore
Beneath ocean tides
I lay dormant in the water
I feel a breath on the rise
I need a little space
In an overcrowded room
Sick of feeling lost and confused
Trying to remember faces
That I've never seen
Who are you?
Can you see the truth?

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

Is there something you can't feel?
Are you still deciding what is real?
Are you lost in a song
That you don't understand?
Sometimes it feels like I am
I'm still chugging along
Because I think I can
Make fantasy my reality
In my head, I'm a dreamt up mess
Cursed not blessed
I can't give in for this

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

©2017 Written By Benji James

I used to think I had the power
Thought I could have been her man of the hour
And how can I keep holding my head in my hands
Thinking where did what we had end
All I say doesn't seem to make sense
Unless you're a person who has been where I am
I used to feel like a soldier
I used to be her shoulder
I could weigh all the hate in my hands
But lately, I don't feel like much of a man
When all these little things are ripping at me
All the smallest things won't give me a break
Maybe I just need to get away
Not sure if I have what it takes
To catch the glass before it breaks
But I can't surrender to the mess
Even though it has me caught in chains
Soon I'll prove I can stand before who I am
Even though I couldn't bare this reflection before
You gotta love and believe in yourself
Before you can truly love somebody else.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Drenched in thoughts
Decisions on my mind
The options I should find
Have become more inclined
To make me climb
For the answer lies
Deep in the dark of the night
That's why we must fall
To learn to get back up
But when this struck
It punctured every cell in my brain
It's made it harder to get up again
I've been a fighter all my life
But this time I didn't feel it strike
The fire in my eyes
Have lost all there desire
To be a high climber
Your soul divider
Has made me a weak decider
When it burnt, it left a mark
Deep inside of my heart
it left no air in my lungs
in fact, I don't feel the rushing in my blood
Can you feel a pulse
Can you hear a beat
Cuz I'm laying here dying
In this deserted street
I fell high from the peak
Only to wind back up on the ground
Hope was lost now it can't be found
Surrounded by vultures all around
Where were you, Where were you?
When I was lost in the crowd
Where were you, Where were you?
When I hit the ground
Where were you?

©2018 Written By Benji James

Why do I
Let these feelings eat me inside
Why do I
Fall in love to easy
Always put my faith in a girl
Only to be let down
I guess I got let down
Guess I have to write this out
Get these emotions out
Before I go harming myself
Before I go scarring my heart
It's a little too late for I'm sorry
It's a little too late
When all you've done is ignore me

Do you know how it feels to worry
Do you know how it feels to doubt yourself
Because every time all I think about am I doing
The right things
Am I saying the things you want to hear
I'm sitting alone in the dark
Thoughts invade my mind
I've really done it this time

Should have known
I was only gonna fail again
Girls out of my league
I should have seen
Where it was this would lead
Guess that makes me a fool
For trusting you too much
Should have known I would fail again
Yeah I should have seen this coming

Life's ****** up
Should have known better
Than to think I could find love
When I'm destined to be alone
I grasped a small light of hope
Only to be wrong again
Should have never believed
It could have been you with me
Should have never believed
I should have seen
You could do a million times better than me

Do you know how it feels to worry
Do you know how it feels to doubt yourself
Because every time all I think about am I doing
The right things
Am I saying the things you want to hear
I'm sitting alone in the dark
Thoughts invade my mind
I've really done it this time

Should have known
I was only gonna fail again
Girls out of my league
I should have seen
Where it was this would lead
Guess that makes me a fool
For trusting you too much
Should have known I would fail again
Yeah I should have seen this coming

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm done with living in the dark
I'm done with all these razor blade scars
No more depression pills
It's time to turn this life around
Yeah I'm homeward bound
Time to lift up and change my sound
I'm done with depressing lyrics
I'm done with being the victim
When I'm the one who put myself in that position
Yeah memories can stay in the past
Right where they belong
I'm singing a brand new song
Hope you're all willing to come along

©2017 Written By Benji James

You were so full of good intentions
but nothing ever goes your way
love how you lie to me
every time you're staring me in the face
do you think that I'm stupid, girl?
You've never dealt with a man like this

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

Plant my fist through the wall
As you walk out that door
Fall to my knees
as the blood from my hand
Drips onto the floor
I close my eyes
Try to forget that you were in my bed
with another man.
The scars are running deeper
with every blow
Light up a smoke
to take a drag
grab a drink from the fridge
Just stop, just stop
I don't want to think

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

Razor blade cuts to release the strain
can't bandage a heart that's been broken
you chipped away
all the pieces
that was left in me
I held on hope
you'd never do this to me
What were you thinking?
I treated you beautifully
Every time I looked at my reflection
I saw you standing next to me
I tore up all the pictures
Tried to erase the memories
Unfortunately, You'll always be a part of me.

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

You were so full of good intentions
but nothing ever goes your way
love how you lie to me
every time you're staring me in the face
do you think that I'm stupid, girl?
You've never dealt with a man like this

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

©2018 Written By Benji James

Man, why are you playing with her heart?
Why'd you had to go tear everything apart?
Yeah man I still got your back
but can't you see that she's aching?
Her heart wasn't meant for breaking

You're so consumed by the drugs you're taking

Can't you see you need saving

I tried to give you everything I had

But now everything has just turned bad

Your ringing up your ex, telling her your sad

But how can you tell her about the new girl

Can't you see this ***** is breaking you to pieces?

Believe me, man, I see it

And this may be a little hard to take

But I am just trying to protect you and her mate

You can tell me that I'm talking ****

But I'd bleed for both of you **** it

Can't you see that I'm throwing myself on the line

Don't tell me I'm crossing the red line

Because I'm so lost in my mind

It's so hard to describe what I'm feeling inside

Watching you be ripped apart by all this

**** it's starting to break me down

Everything is crumbling to the ground

So where do we both stand now?

©2017 Written By Benji James

This could be the night I overdose
In my mind, I've never been this close
Setting fire to everything I own
Tearing up the clothes
I've never felt so much desire
To drown in the flames of the fire
angels can't take me higher
There are no heroes left for hire
Don't tell me you love me your a liar
Here the battles of the choir
As I lay down my rights
Take these wings
Because I fear the fall
In the middle of flight
I'd rather stay planted on the ground
Blend into the blackness of the night
I'd rather fade into the midst of time
Return to dust beneath the raging sun
Cuz I know I can never be someone

©2017 Written By Benji James

She's in love with him
While I'm in love with her
Through my eyes, I can see
Now that we are both cursed
That's when the feelings hurt
Somehow we don't think it can get
Any worse, and now I know why
She couldn't put me first.
When she loved him for so long
And it's not weakness for trying to be strong
I know for a while, I was gone
Couldn't stand the fact you loved him
Over me but now I can see
Why you picked him over me
Us together may feel so wrong
But how does this feel so right?
Hunni just speak to me just tell me why
Should we do this on our own?
We don't need to be forever alone.

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

You and I are one in the same
I'd rather live with the pain
Then live without you and go insane
Don't need to get caught in the rain
Suddenly it hits you like a train
Then every step you take
Starts to hurt your brain
We got each other tied into a chain
I lost control of this plane
I can be your superman
If you would be my Louise Lane

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

Just couldn't find each other's, love
Can feel your heartbeat
Pumping through my blood
Just to have you back would be enough
To kickstart this sugar rush
Although I didn't win the race
I still need you in this place
Thought this was just a phase
Couldn't overcome this craze
Somehow I'm still amazed
By everything that you gave
How do I put that into a phrase?
Because I just can't find a way
To tell you the things I want to say

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

©2017 Written By Benji James

I can't stop my heart from aching
You're the one who stops it from breaking
My soul is yours for the taking
If you can keep me from fading
Away into the blackness of yesterday

I'm still trying to clear my conscience

I know you stored hope into your pocket

You're the one who keeps me 
from exploding like a rocket

It's amazing how you can stand by me

Girl, I can see it crystal clear

You'll always be here
No matter what I throw at you
No matter what we're going through
It's things like that, that make me think back
and realise everything is gonna be just fine.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Babe honestly I'm not handling
this world so well without you
There to keep me smiling
and I've tried creeping slowly back into your life
But things just don't feel the same

Why doesn't it all feel the same
?
Baby, please tell me

Highlight all of my mistakes

In the brightest colours

So it all stands out to the crowd
Because I'm picking up the Mic
tonight to scream my love for you out loud
Because baby I can't handle life without you
When you are the one who holds me up,
And I couldn't careless
if people think that I'm weak
Honest to God, I need you with me
To carry on and help mend up
the torn pieces of my heart
I don't want us to keep ripping apart
from one another
Because I'm not handling
this world so well without you.

©2017 Written By Benji James

She's been looking for love
In all of the wrong places
Dancing in the club
Making out under the stars
She likes a guy who's a little bad
But when things get rough
She gets sad
And now she's mad at herself
Because she knew better
Then to trust a guy with a bad side

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's sitting on a park bench
Leaves fall from the trees
She loves that autumn breeze
She's staring at clouds
Making out shapes
Pondering life
and the way she's changed
Since her troublesome teen days
And she remembers back
To the promise she made
After the wrong decisions, she made

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's been sitting on the train
On the way to catch a plane
She feels the need to get away
She's still looking for love
Yeah she's been searching for the one
She's tired of lonely nights
She's ready to find Mr right
Just someone who is nice
She doesn't want another
Memory filled with misery
She just want to feel that
Heart beating to a melody
One last time but this time
For the rest of her life

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

©2017 Written By Benji James

V1
Can't eat
Can’t breathe
Broke into a million pieces
Not good enough
You never cared
Gave you everything
I had
Gave you chances
Gave you choices
You chose wrong
Lost me
Let me fall
Watched me walk
You called my name
Never fought
Or gave a ****
Now I’m alone
Feelin’ cold
Left me screaming
Someone help me.

CHORUS
She thought she was in L.O.V.E love
Just to figure out,
She's lost, open, vulnerable and exposed
Truth is nobody knows
He dealt the final blow
Never thought he could sink this low
She can't take this anymore
Lying, Shouting, Tears start falling
down her cheek then her knees get weak
until she falls off her feet
time's ticking melting away
there is nothing left she can say

V2
Missed calls
Messy floors
Shards of glass on the floor
Outcast
Stereotype
Does it end?
Losin’ time
You crossed the line
Rainy days cloudy nights
You were almost Mr right
Broken hearts, wounds and scars
Lose my breath, in your arms
Dreams become nightmares
Loves a farce
A light shines slightly in the dark
The girl is, broken behind this mask
She was shattered, broken,
without words to be spoken
He left her used without a bruise
She felt like there was nothing left to lose

CHORUS
She's lost open vulnerable and exposed
Truth is nobody knows
He dealt the final blow
Never thought he could sink this low
She can't take this anymore
Lying, Shouting, Tears start falling
down her cheek then her knees get weak
until she falls off her feet
time's ticking melting away
there is nothing left she can say

V3
He missed me, kissed me
Held me, felt me
Kept my heart beating
‘till he left me
We cried, tried
And denied ourselves
Never thought, losing you
would hurt this bad
Our bond broke, relationship failed
Towards the sun I’ll set sail
Hoist those masts of hope high
we’re moving towards the sky

CHORUS
She's lost open vulnerable and exposed
Truth is nobody knows
He dealt the final blow
Never thought he could sink this low
She can't take this anymore
Lying, Shouting, Tears start falling
down her cheek then her knees start
getting weak until she falls off her feet
time's ticking melting away
there is nothing left she can say

©2017 Written By Benji James and Amanda Styles

Your body's wearing thin 

Your hearts hanging by a string

You thought you'd take a leap

Off of the ledge 

Now your clinging to the edge

Only by a thread 

And everything you thought you are

Feels different than before

Can't seem to figure out what's changed

I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

Look at the mess your in

Look at where you've been

Yeah let's go to hell and back

You need help 

But asking was something you lacked

Now looking back, 

I should have had some trust

In the ones, I loved 

Instead, I thought I could deal
with everything 
on my own 

Only to end up all alone

Can't seem to figure out what's changed
I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

Oh my own mind is my cell

All these thoughts are my hell

And now your losing yourself

Following the trends of everybody else

Just be who you are

Be who you wanna be

Don't be somebody else

Don't sacrifice your originality

Just take a moment to see

You were created perfectly

Down to every fault and flaw

Down to every mistake you made

Because they made you who you are today

Can't seem to figure out what's changed

I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

©2017 Written By Benji James

He lays awake all night
She's just a silhouette in his mind
He pictures everything she does
While he's lying in the dark alone
Separated, two different people
But I still think of you
Every single night
Take all the pills
Swallow them down
Close your eyes
In nightmares, he will drown
Be careful what you wish for
Cuz what goes around
Always comes back around
And he thought a different town
Would stop him from thinking about you
Now I just can't hold my ground
Baby your taking me down, down, down
My heart still pounds, it pounds
Love is lost, you can't be found
Drinking just doesn't fix
The emptiness
In the pit of my stomach
I'm numb I feel nothing
There's only one healing tonic
Your love is all I want
Just give me what you got
Because your everything I'm not
Your love is all I want

©2017 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
This conversation is getting harder to maintain
When you're finding every excuse to push me away
And you say that's what you do
Girl, I wanna be the one for you

I don't want to give up

Even though you say I should

I just couldn't live that down

If I just walked out

I know you're hurting 

From past memories

Let me help you heal

Let me help you recover

I want to be there for one another

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Baby have a little hope
Hold a little faith
I don't ever want to walk away
I wanna be the one
Who looks you in the eyes
When we wake up
The one who kisses you goodnight
The shoulder you lean on
When you need to cry
The photo memories when you smile
I wanna be that guy
The one that sees you
Without your make up
The one you feel comfortable with the most
I wanna be that guy

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Yeah girl let me serenade you
With these songs
Open up let me into your heart
Tell me all the troubles on your mind
Let me make them mine
Let our lives be intertwined
Let your heart guide you way
Into my arms where you can stay
Where you can feel completely safe
Let me take you around the world
With me girl from London to L.A.
So long as I'm with you
That's all I wanna do
Be the one who falls for you
Yeah I'm in love with you

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Oh Ashley,
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

©2017 Written By Benji James

It starts with
A cup of coffee
And a cigarette
Turn on the T.V.
To see the news
You gotta start work
in an hour or two
Remember back to
childhood memories
Back when you had
no enemies
the world was your whole playground
You dreamt things
that no one could
even think about

Life just can't get better
Words can't be words
Without the letters
Just give it a minute or two
Just think
Let it sink through

Now as I look, around
society has changed
Nothing is ever going
to be the same
People constantly changing
Calling names, Hurting, Judging
Tunes keep changing
Money goes
You're getting older
And everyone knows
You'll never be
who you used to be
The young, innocent and sweet.

Life just can't get better
Words can't be words
Without the letters
Just give it a minute or two
Just think
Let it sink through

You gave so much
Abd tried so hard
to make your life
a real big part
of the master plan
but nothing ever
goes your way
You're losing yourself
everyday
You live, You die
You fail, You try
You laugh, You Cry
You've been right
You've been wrong
But you never let go
of all those happy times
You're just thankful
You're still alive

Life just can't get better
Words can't be words
Without the letters
Just give it a minute or two
Just think
Let it sink through

©2018 Written By Benji James

Razor blade cuts were just the start
He made art
by drawing pictures in his blood
With wounds so deep
So much room to breathe 

Watch me bleed

Feel my need

All attention on me

Do you see the tension in me

Can you feel the weakness in my knees

I've tried to plead

But I couldn't please 

So watch me bleed

Feel the punishment tormenting me

Why don't they see
all the pain within my words

Can't they see my heart on the line

Every time I write
take a trip through my mind,
my dreams, my life

I vision so much but all the negativity
has started killing me
inch by inch

Now this itch
won't go away

I've penetrated my skin with fingernails so thin 

Now it kills to breathe in 

And I can't seem to find my way out

Of the darkness of this stormy cloud 

When will the rain stop drowning me out
all these emotions swirl around like the rough seas

I just want them to understand me

I just want somebody to take a little more notice

I've got a heart that needs some love 

But the hates so strong

I can't find where I belong.

©2017 Written By Benji James

What is a life?

Is it a breeze gently brushing against your face?

Is it a heart in which you feel pain,

Just what is a life?

These memories of my past, feel distant, faint

in this moment, a sudden feeling overtakes

Your questions, processing inside of your brain.

Just what is a life?

Tell me will I ever know the feeling of fate, faith?

What answers lay beyond the stars, 

What answers lay dormant
Inside of this tormented mind

Just what is a life?

Is it a spray from the sea
hitting your skin

These drops upon my skin, glisten in the sun

Just what is a life?
Is it a happy moment in which, I can’t help but smile,

Haven’t felt that kind of emotion in a while.

Is this life the laughter of a child,

What kind of wonder and bewilderment
Does this life hold in store?

Keep thinking all these thoughts

And you’ll want to know more.

Just what is a life?

©2017 Written By Benji James

Seen you walking down the street
The other day, every time I see your face
It brings back all the pain
Why can't I shake it
Why do I keep breaking
Every time you're around
You turn me upside down
And I lose my way

I try to forget everything you did and said
Fall asleep, I see you in dreams
I can't escape, you're in every thought that I think
And I remember feeling every part of your skin
I remember the taste of your lips
You haunt my every step
More than a mess,
I'm an emotional wreck

You are more than just past memories
You were my heart, my soul
And maybe they're beyond repair
I try to move forward the best I can
Maybe I'm cursed and ******
To know every day
That you're the girl who got away
And I'm trying so hard
To fit all the pieces back
Of this broken heart
But it's just like shattered glass
It'll never be the same again

I try to forget everything you did and said
Fall asleep, I see you in dreams
I can't escape, you're in every thought that I think
And I remember feeling every part of your skin
I remember the taste of your lips
You haunt my every step
More than a mess,
I'm an emotional wreck

©2017 Written By Benji James

You wanted me
To take you in deep
You wanted me
To let you in
take you underneath of my skin
So this is where I thought I'd begin
I beat myself up
For every mistake that I make
Can't help it
When everyone's calling you stupid
And dragging you down
Even my own family
Says I'll never be
The star I wanted to be
I wanted to shine brightly
To prove I could become
The person that I wanted to be
But it seems
that'll never happen for me

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

Look at the ****
I come up with
When I'm on my own
It looks like I'll sit here crying
All alone
And sometimes your only
A stone throw away
But somehow you still don't see me
I'm here suffering in agony
And your right there
Not seeing through my invisibility

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

I shouldn't let this misery
Get the best of me
Ah all these people
Keep picking me to pieces
All I wanna do is scream
Cuz all the fragmented parts
Of my soul
Just won't fit back together
And the situation isn't getting better
And I'm falling deeper
Save me from this conscience eater
There's a monster growing inside
Overtaking my mind

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

Can you show me
What it feels like
To be loved
To be loved
Can you show me
What it feels like
To be loved
To be loved
Isn't is enough
Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everybody else

©2017 Written By Benji James

2017 was a ***** of a year
Let go of everyone that I held dear
Wasn’t about to play second best
Did the right thing, oh yes
Had no time for the ones
That had no time for me
And I detect a hint of resentment
Yeah I wasn’t about to pretend
Of the ignorance that seemed
To be thrown my way

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

So much hurting, now a distant memory
Now I look around and all I feel is empty
Nobody left in sight
Removed everybody from my life
Was it all out of jealousy
Cuz they never seemed to have time for me
All I have left are shadows on my wall
Reflections in the mirror
Looking back at me
Is this how it feels to truely be lonely
It’s alright, I made that choice
Chose to listen to that inner voice
Whether it was right or wrong
I made my decisions
Now everyone I knew, they’re gone

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

Had a lot of time to reflect
Had a lot of time to listen
To all these inner thoughts
And I’ve got a brand new year
To turn all this around
Gotta get back out
I’m amongst the crowd
Find somebody new
Who makes the efforts
That I make for them
I know there out there
I’ll find them, I know I can

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

©2018 Written By Benji James

I'm the one who suffers for my art
All these words I've written
Were written in blood
I still haven't played all my cards
Just like Gaga I've got a poker face
I've got a lot of talent left to showcase
There's a fire in my eyes destined for greatness
I've got no time left for haters
The fire of my passion blazes
No more broken mirrors,
No more razors
Had too many scars
Been to way too many dark places
Seen a lot of people can't place faces
By the time I'm done everyone will know my name
Cuz I'm so stuck into this love game
I've got nothing left I need to claim
All I want is my name engraved
On a heart in everybody's heart frame.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I’ve given this girl too much power
When thinking of you, minutes turn into hours
And it isn't fair cuz,
I can't date anybody else

I would just never be able to forgive myself

And I don't care if people couldn't care less

I care cuz I know how much I'm in love 

And every day I struggle for us

And I strive so hard

Here's my heart in a jar

I just want you there's nobody else

Because baby you're the only one I feel for

And baby you're the one I wanna call

Only for you, I will fall.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Where's he come up with his lyrical content
Where the hell does he come up with the song's concept
Does he strain his brain
Bringing up the past pain
Or hang on a moment in the heart
Of a situation
And I can't stop this invasion
They take the words right out of my mouth
How can I stop when I'm addicted to this
I can't just call it quits
Especially when you've got a flow like this
And some people call me the kiss of death
Some people just don't see the visual effect
And then when the storm surpasses
And they realize we gotta rely on each other to make all this work
And a lot of people don't even understand the words
And I don't mean understand
What the words mean
But what the songs I write are referencing
And I get it, it gets a little confusing
When something that runs through your mind keeps constituting
What makes you think about being so blinded to the situation
But you know you can make it
There all seeing what your starting to say and I'd give my life
Before I lose out on living and breathing the freedom
To say what I mean
Because I mean what I say
Do you follow
Do you understand me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Is it just me, or is the talent on here getting better and better?

So many of you on here are such talented writers,
I love reading what you guys and girls publish, some you can emotionally connect with, others just wow you with such phrases and imaginative writing styles...There is so much talent on here it is truly a wonderful community to be apart of, I don't think I have ever felt anymore accepted by any community the way I have been by this one, And all of you inspire me whether it be in your writing, comments and or just general conversations we may have, keep doing what you do best and keep those thoughts flowing and keep capturing all of our imaginations, and to those of you I haven't followed or read yet.
I'm looking very much forward to hopefully reading your stuff in the near future.

Love and Peace Benji James

I wanna drink myself to sleep
Prescribe me the pills to help me, please
It makes me sick to even think
You could even be like this
Leave me hanging on something
That'll never ever be
How could you ******* leave me lonely
You knew I still thought of you
You knew there was nobody else but you
And you might have thought
I had worked this out
But I'm so totally over it
I just keep on losing it every time
You talk about him
I don't wanna hear that ****
I'd much rather listen to ******* people preach
I couldn't care less what you think of me
Give me the pills to release my mind
Give me drink until I drown myself in it
Baby give me the nightlife
One night stand to take you out of my head
Get so drunk that I can't get back up again
Stomach pumped just to bring me back
Reenergize, try to make me smile
But I just go back and do it all again
I ****** you and I ****** your friend
Oh dear lord his lost it
Oh dear lord what's next
I think I just had like three girls in my bed
Prescribe me something to stop
The madness that runs through my head
Before I go **** my life up again.

©2017 Written By Benji James

They just don't get if I'm
******, Cynical or sarcastic
They think I've got a heart of plastic
That is pretty drastic
They say that I'm a spastic
My feelings like rubber elastic
It hurts when it hits
You try dealing with this ****
But wait that's just it, they do
We all have our personal scars
That befall us
And on behalf
Of everybody else
I offer up myself
To take the blame, the shame
Break you free of these chains
If that's what it takes
To break all the trouble I've made
Then lay out my fate
And I'll take your place.

©2018 Written By Benji James

There are dark times
In periods of our life
Where we don't want to be alive
And sometimes there's a sorrow
You just can't shake
Sometimes there's a doubt
That just won't fade
And you try your best to take
Each day as it comes
But you can't help contemplate
Your future and it seems
Like you aren't moving anywhere
Yeah that's the way it feels
Your body feels heavier
Your head feels full
And you can't process information
The way you used to
Negativity is your new vibe
You feel you'll never achieve
Anything within this life.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hey everyone,
This is not a poem. It has been a while since I uploaded anything
I haven't had much time for writing new material, I've literally been focusing so much on my youtube channel and just living life.
Last year Hellopoetry was a big part of my life.
All the kind comments and just you guys appreciating my work.
That meant the whole world to me.
I don't know when it is I will upload another poem or lyric
All my focus is on other creative artistry, that I have always wanted to do. But it's only because of you guys and this site that I found that new belief in myself, to go and try again.
There is still a long way to go in my journey.
And this is not goodbye
This is just, see you all soon.
Hopefully, I'll find some sparks and write some new material in the near future but until then.
I love and appreciate all of Y'all that have taken the time to, like, comment, repost and read my poems/lyrics.
Until next time, I'll see you guys soon. :)
Hope you're all well.

Kind Regards, Benji James :)