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kgl Jun 2013
i would follow you to the ends of the earth
just to gaze upon your face
to trace the lines of your cheek
with the back of my hand
your eyes are a sea of green and they welcome mine as
our fingers interlock
on a blanket
made of purest heaven

we collided in more ways than one.
kgl Jul 2013
the clock next to my mantelpiece
no longer keeps the time
its pendulum is silent
with the ghosts of its last chime

the dust it slowly gathers
on the remnants of my mind
my hands they mark the minutes
as my memories unwind

like me, this clock is frozen
trapped on a single day
whilst my heart becomes an echo
of the things i didn't say
kgl Dec 2014
i met him in september
and his hair was kissed by light
i loved him by december
as the world around turned white

i knew him in october
when the nights conquered the days
whilst divided in my feelings
i was safe inside his gaze

i sought him in november
when my smile began to fade
i listened to his heart beat
and i wasn't so afraid

i met him in the autumn
and i hope he's here to stay
'cause nothing's felt the same since
he first brightened up my day
kgl Oct 2017
it used to be a landscape
where our souls would intertwine
but you left me, four whole months ago
and now both sides are mine
i found this on my notes. i started it a while ago, back in May, but had forgotten to finish it. but now it feels complete
kgl Dec 2018
when different in city,
far in distance, we keep afloat
with a tenderness that anchors us
unwavering, in sight of shore
we move with the current,
rising and falling,
finding our bedrock
on the ocean's floor
i can't wait to see you again
kgl Sep 2013
you're just the boy all the girls want to know
ignoring the plaintive cries of your lonely heart
fighting the urges to confuse love and intimacy
you stumble in the darkness of your soul

you're just the boy who lost his way
conflicted and isolated you turned and fled
straight into the arms of an intoxicating mistress  
drowning your sorrows in the seclusion of your room

you're just the boy who wooed with his words
as tortured and empty as the hearts you consumed
your musings were a mountain to be conquered
attempted by those much more experienced than i

you're just the boy all the girls want to know
but if the truth lies in misery then ignorance is bliss
for you were a mystery to be deciphered
and i'm just the girl who crumbled under your gaze
kgl Dec 2014
like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me
kgl Aug 2013
regarding, as i often do
the hours in the day
it all becomes an effort;
what to think, and what to say
your silence is more poignant
than soft whispers in my ear
and i feel that what you need to say
i wouldn't want to hear
it all becomes a problem
should i go, or should i stay?
as even though you're here right now
you feel so far away
kgl Dec 2014
it's becoming easier
to hear your name and feel nothing.
Head and Heart fought a battle that only ended
when the Heart swelled with a Love that hurt to hold,
until the Head's gentle reminder
that this was not Love,
it was Pain.
blinding Pain.
but like all blows to the body and mind
Time crushes Pain into a dull ache, a numbness remaining
long in the Heart after the feeling has gone.
but the Head holds the knowledge that this was not Love.
it was Pain.
blinding Pain.
and it's becoming easier.
kgl Nov 2014
it wasn't until i wanted to fix someone else that i realised i was broken.
kgl Mar 2015
We fell apart
When the lights dimmed with your smile
And acid tears burnt eyes to swollen slits
You punctured truths of glass into my heart
And we fell apart.
kgl Dec 2013
Something I never understand,
(but ponder quite a lot)
is how boys get away with things
that girls simply cannot.
A man can boast about his feats,
and all pronounce him clever,
but a woman is conceited
if she speaks of her endeavor.
And tell me, why is 'bachelor'
a more attractive word
than the female term of 'spinster'
and the concept that's inferred?

It's this gender inequality
that renders women shamed
by the ****** exploitation
for which they're always blamed.
Whilst men are given status for
the women they've undressed,
so after this, please tell me now;
which gender has it best?
kgl Jul 2017
i miss you is harder to say than i love you.

i love you is difficult, it's true.

but i miss you suggests something more;
"you were here, now you're not, i'm hurting from a lack of you."

and that somehow feels more vulnerable than love
whose fleeting, temporary words
i have said to those
i now most abhor.

love's promises and delights
are crushed into dust
while i miss you means
"i want more."
not really a poem, more a thought.
kgl Jun 2015
he loves me
and i see it in his eyes
i see it when he pushes my hair back to kiss my neck
and it terrifies me

he knows me
and i hear it in his voice
when he laughs and calls me ridiculous when i collapse
in ticklish mirth beneath his touch

he adores me
and wouldn't hurt me for the world
i know it when he tells me i could never let him down
and i tremble under the weight of his words
kgl Mar 2014
i'll watch your eyes when you are speaking,
to ensure your love is true
'cause i'm a hopeless overthinker
and that's simply what we do.

i will recall our conversations,
analyse the things you say
'cause i'm a hopeless overthinker
and i guess that's just our way.

i'll hold your hand when you are lonely
learn your dreams and heartaches too
'cause i'm a hopeless overthinker
hopelessly in love with you.
kgl Jun 2017
if, while on the other side of the world,
you buy me a book
and post it to me
along with the words
'i read this and i thought of you
and i knew you had to read it too'

then what else is left for me to do
kgl Nov 2013
i am writing you a poem
and i'll show it you someday
when we're bigger, better, bolder
when we've chased our fears away
when we've gathered up our courage
and we've swallowed all our pride
i'd give the world and all i had
to be there by your side
kgl Mar 2015
If you think her kisses mean she wants you
she doesn't.
If you think it's going to work out with her
I don't.
If you think her heart is pure and simple
it isn't.
And if you think I'm going to wait for you
I won't.
kgl Nov 2015
i tried to write a poem
i've been trying for a while
to write the ways in which you always
seem to make me smile

i've tried to tell our stories
through the medium of rhyme
but every time i start to type
the words fall out of time

it's always been so simple
i can write when i feel wrong
but it all seems so unnatural
now i feel like i belong

i don't think i can do it
'cause i don't know where to start
so if i see you in my poems
it will mean you broke my heart.
i genuinely can't write when i'm feeling so **** happy all the time
kgl Jul 2013
i know what it means
when you say you're not ready
i know how you feel
when you want to go steady
yet lately i'm feeling
i'm living a lie
i am waiting in silence
whilst trying to get by
on the whisperings of romance
the blurs in my head
maybe i'm what is missing
maybe you're what i dread
kgl Apr 2014
I'm sorry that
in the depths of your ever-changing tide
I got swept away by you.

I'm sorry that
your expectations were not satisfied
when I was in your arms.

I'm sorry that
I wasn't who you wanted
even when you wanted me.

I'm sorry that
I could never amount to anything
more than perfect.

but most of all
I'm sorry that
I'm not sorry
not even a little bit
not even at all.
kgl Jul 2013
when i was small
i let go of my balloon
and it floated away
into the rafters of my ceiling
and i cried until my father rescued it.

losing you is much the same
i watch you floating away
but i am powerless to stop it
nobody can reach you now
there is no ceiling to prevent you from flying
up through the clouds
and away from me.
kgl Jan 2015
i taste the morning
bitter words left on the bottle
as the wine i carelessly dropped
trickled down the back of my throat
tickled with the scent of your sigh
as you moaned philosophies into my mind.
kgl Jun 2013
i told you, ‘cause i loved you
and i thought you’d understand
you promised you’d stand by me,
keep me safe and hold my hand
but then i came to realise
you were never there at all
you never stood beside me,
just sat back and watched me fall.
i told you ‘cause i needed you
i really thought you cared
i never dreamed you’d push aside
the love that i declared.
forgive me if i’m wrong
but i thought we were meant to last?
i feel like i don’t know you-
just a stranger from my past.
is there just a joke here
that i have simply missed?
or am i just another name
crossed off, upon your list?
kgl Sep 2013
I took some time alone today
as I so often do
I tried to think of other thoughts
but only thought of you.

I wanted time alone, you see
to dwell on your embrace
I tried to observe other things
but only saw your face.

you wouldn't leave my mind, you know
I know it wasn't much.
but every time I try to feel
I only feel your touch.

it wouldn't be a problem, but
now all you see is her
and all I am is nothing now
a ghost of what we were.
kgl Aug 2013
it wasn't love
but it was something close to it
something intimate
an appreciation for each other
unspoken understanding for the way we were
and nobody could take that away

it wasn't love  
but i think we could've got there
had we been given the chance
if circumstances were different
we could have taken valuable time to spend together
and nobody would take that away

we both love another
so it was never love
but it was a moment
a brief instant  
a grain of sand upon the beach of our lives
until time's tide slowly crept in
and pulled us away
kgl Jun 2013
i waited today
every day, like always
dancing my fingertips across my arms
recalling your touch
you were an ocean and i was
the tide that carried you away from me
consuming my body with your eyes
caressing my ears with your words
embracing my soul with your mind
i waited today
but you never came

*perhaps tomorrow
i'll wait again
kgl Aug 2013
your veins were my lifeline
like lines on a map they twisted and turned
providing me with the direction in which to travel
they flowed like rivers
into the void of my heart

but you chose a different direction than i
left to face inevitable isolation
as your veins strangled my love
purging my heart
and leaving it empty
kgl Jun 2014
sometimes life, it hurls pain at our window
we are forced to dodge deafening blows
touch the glass, just to pray it won't shatter
take a chance, just to see how it goes

but the trials that we face could destroy us
the decision: cave in or survive
and sometimes we feel like we're dying
whilst the fire in our veins stays alive

but the pain that we feel simply tests us
we tell a story with every scar
one day we'll sit back and remember
while rejoicing in all that we are

when the light filters through in the morning
the shadows at your door will subside
as your strength rises up with the sunlight
you'll forget all the tears that you cried
kgl Jun 2013
if love is such a wonderful thing,
why does it hurt so much?
why do you electrify my heart
every time we touch?
why is it when i look at you,
i feel such an aching pain?
and whenever you stop talking,
i want to hear your voice again?
how is it, just by watching,
i have a sudden urge to kiss you?
and how, after spending hours together,
as soon as you leave i miss you?
why is it, whenever you're not there
my heart sinks like a stone?

*because every day i wake up,
is another day alone.
kgl Jun 2013
my time was wasted, your ego was bruised
it takes more than a memory
to keep me amused
but in moments of sadness, of plainest regret
i surrender to feelings
i ought to forget
so melancholic, i sit and think:
my mind - the abyss
into which
i sink.
kgl Aug 2018
unlike the moon overshadowed by sun
i will not diminish myself
just to see you shine

unlike a scarf reached for on a stormy day
i will not wind myself around your neck
to keep you warm

unlike dust escaping old pages disturbed
i will not rise, nor fall, nor settle
nor make anyone happy
before myself
A draft saved from Nov' 17 - seems a world away now
kgl Mar 2014
after the last time
I don't even want to admit
that I feel something akin to a connection
to a person with the potential
to so easily tear me apart

I am frightened
can't begin to think about
how I would ever be able to tell you
that I walk home every day
just to see your face
to watch the sunlight reflect
from your ocean eyes.
kgl Oct 2015
the words used to flow like silk through my fingertips
i used to know exactly how to weave them
make them fall into tapestries, hang them from walls
emblazoned with unadulterated innocence.

it wasn't until you asked to look at my creations
that i realised sunlight could be so damaging
my words felt frivolous under your scathing gaze
and they stuttered, crumbled. my tapestries fell.

now they're dust and i'm on my knees, crawling
grasping fistfuls that seep through my hands
you can't write about something you can't feel
and now i can't feel anything.

this is the last poem i'll write about you.
kgl May 2014
in loving you, i lost myself
lost to the world and its surroundings
no more than a meaningless shadow
a self-inflicted kind of despair

lost to the world and its surroundings
i find myself drowning
a self-inflicted kind of despair
the fault is mine, and mine alone

i find myself drowning
no more than a meaningless shadow
the fault is mine, and mine alone
in loving you, i lost myself
experimenting with different types of poetry. i find the monotony of this simultaneously hopeless and relaxing.
kgl Apr 2014
we whispered with passion
made love to a lie
we burned with a fire
that destroyed you and I
kgl Jun 2013
missing you
is like watching something happen
that i can't quite explain
it's like watching a breath, rise and then fall
though you don't recognise me at all.

remembering you
is like looking back through time
wishing we could just travel back
pause this life and rewind.
remembering how happy
you were when you saw me
you weren't like other adults
who'd sit and ignore me.

watching you
is like watching a shell of what you once were
still wonderful, yet somehow broken.
i wasn't prepared- it happened so fast
one minute you're there, the next
you're my past.

loving you
is like the world spinning round
constant, never stopping
not for one minute.
rotating this life, and everything in it.

now you're still here, in body, not mind
i still see what you were
so lovely and kind.
this disease is the devil, so evil, yet true
but no matter what happens
i won't forget you.
for my uncle x
kgl May 2014
if you cared more than i, why did you leave?
kgl Aug 2018
if your body is a temple then i am my safe house
but even the safest places can be seduced by a flame
and every time you touch me, you set my world ablaze
I found this on my notes from June 29th - I'd obviously woken up and written it while I was semi-asleep because I have no recollection of it and the timestamp on the note is 03:42. Thought it could live here for a while.
kgl Jun 2013
put me on like it's the fashion
wear me out until the end
whisper words, so soft with passion
but your style is so pretend

blind me with your vanity
re-open wounds you dressed
cast my mind out to insanity;
the way you like me best

carve your name into my heart
a brand of haute couture
but soon enough you'll see that
i won't wear you anymore.
kgl Nov 2013
there's a girl whom we both know
a demon in disguise
and though she sweetly smiles at me
it never meets her eyes

she looks at you with longing
on her face, as clear as day
pretends to like the things you like
repeats the things you say

she likes to give me daggers
when she thinks you cannot see
but though she thinks she's got it all
she simply isn't me.
kgl Mar 2014
it was beautiful,
as most things are in their simplicity.
nothing more necessary than the presence of those
whose hearts hold a space once occupied by you.
there were flowers, and there was sunlight,
and the birds greeted me with a melancholic joy;
they, like you, are free, untempered by life's inequity.
i looked up to the sky, and it was beautiful.
kgl Jun 2013
my silence tells more than my words
and my throat is caught up
in a whisper
a crystallised murmur of something
i can't quite explain.

our hopeless colloquy ebbs away
and my fingers desperately
reach out for you
but you are worlds away and we are separated by something
i can't quite explain.

you promise as you fade from sight
we will overcome our pain
but our voices are stifled- a chasm of emptiness
an irrevocable feeling
i can't quite explain.
kgl Nov 2017
our lips met because our minds couldn't
and when they parted, you felt further away than ever
we ruined everything, didn't we?
kgl Jun 2013
let me tell a story
of a girl who fell apart
her life was spent up trying to fix
her lonely, broken heart.
she tried to turn her life around
but faced an awful shove
she suffered from a fatal thing
that fatal thing called love.
it ate her up and spat her out
this girl, she'd done no wrong
she didn't deserve the pain
of simply wanting to belong.
for one's love to love another
is a heart wrenching idea
but she managed through the sickness
though her mind, it was not clear
there was no one there to help her
she broke down, for all to see
and thus i end my story, as
that lonely girl was me.
kgl Jun 2013
swallowing her aching pride with every step she takes
trying to forget, although her lonely heart it breaks
her everlasting hatred for the man who left a void
in her world, forever shifting, unprepared to be destroyed
her eyes, once glistening jewels turned to a bleak mistrusting stare
their depths expose the scars left by a man who did not care.

remembering the pain, the fearsome look within his eyes
the man she thought she loved became the monster she despised
her worthlessness confirmed with every single blow he dealt
the hurt within her heart was numb, the physical she felt
a horrifying calamity, some days she wished to die
the violent mental thoughts left by a man who made her cry

haunted by his judgments, heartless words rang in her ears
whilst her soul was crushed she never let him see her tears
a sordid satisfaction from the misery he saw
from the woman who adored him as he broke her to the core
but then it reached a point where though her self-belief was wrecked
the words that once were daggers suddenly had no effect

no longer did his voice destroy the stillness in her mind
her time was not yet over; she could leave it all behind
a woman who had suffered for so long, without a voice
decided for herself she had the right to make a choice
the bruises that imprinted, purple wounds left on her skin
she’d escape the hell he’d made her, filled with violence and sin

her eyes cold windows to her heart, devoid of such emotion
a stranger to a reckless love of honest plain devotion
her body bears the evidence, her mind is crystal clear
forget about the hatred and keep close what you hold dear
while repulsion made her weary, she stood still and bit her tongue
no longer wept for what once was, the man who made her strong.
kgl Aug 2016
you are a ray of sunshine
and you shine in my darkest days
but the trouble with sunshine
is that it shines for everyone
so it is only natural  
for others to become captivated
by your glow.
kgl Jul 2013
i once met a man
who said he wouldn't cry because
he couldn't be seen as "weak."
i smiled in mournful pity.

tears are not a weakness
but a reflection of your heart tearing
tears stream from your eyes
as rain runs down a window pane
and soon the clouds pass
and the rain stops
and the sun dries your tears and mends your heart
and you remember why you are strong;
you are human
and your emotion is the most powerful strength there is
kgl Apr 2014
if only you'd never looked at me like i mattered.
kgl Apr 2014
you told me you loved me.
a torrent of words came crashing,
spewed from a meaningless drunken mouth
whose sincerity i cannot judge to be true.
so wearily, i close my eyes to the world;
a halfhearted attempt to prevent
this impending storm from ripping me apart.
i feel it now bubbling inside me,
suppressed emotions from a time
when you told me i gave you a reason to live
but gave me no reasons when you left me to die.
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