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May 2017 · 489
Only the Beginning
I'm usually good with words, but you took them all away.
The raw desire I have for you surpasses every feeling I've known.
The second our lips met, thousands of thoughts erupted in my brain.
Then, only one thought remained; it was you and I.
Us against the world.
In that moment, I knew what it was to feel again.
You've given me that.
I gave up on everyone & found my own happiness.
You made me believe in people & in love.  
I realize now that you add to my happiness.
At first, I kept trying to push you away.
I guess that was some pathetic attempt to postpone my vulnerability.
When I simply couldn't push any longer, I let the feelings envelop me.
Even though uncertainty plagued every moment, I knew one thing;
I wanted every part of you.
Even the things I could never anticipate.
Every silly moment when you bite my face.
Every deep thought about existence or purpose.
Every unspoken "I love you" that beams from your eyes.
Every confusing brow furrow when you're lost in that beautiful mind.
Every dramatic outburst and expression of passion.
Every lazy day we lie around in bed for hours.
Every seemingly insignificant part of you captivates me.
You're everything I want.
You're all I've ever wanted, but didn't know was real.
I never thought you'd come into my life, but I'm forever grateful you did.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for us, my dear.
April 15th, 2017
May 2017 · 873
Words Don't Do You Justyce
We say I love you
A thousand different times
But so much more is said
When your eyes meet mine
Jan 2017 · 357
Enough
I feel the drumming of my heart
Sometimes that's enough
Dec 2015 · 478
My Writing is for Me
I write words of hope for others, yes
But, truth be known
It's also for myself
The sanguine, the passion
It's mostly for me
You see, I hate all that I am
All that I was
All that I am becoming
I hate it
So I write
I write what I feel
Not what I am
I write what I wish were true
I write what I long for
I write because if I didn't
Tell me, who would?
I'm sharing what helps me with all of you
Nov 2015 · 571
3:18
I lie awake in thought
A fractured shell of what I once was
Thinking about what could have been  
Thinking about what never was
Contemplating what I want in life
I now realize it's simply you
But I also know that's what I can't have
I'm going to live in discontent
I'll never find someone I love like you
I'll have to love someone else differently
Maybe the next person I love will finally be me
Jul 2015 · 1.8k
***Humanity***
Foreign emotions
Unwelcome thoughts
Cynical humans
Knuckled bones
Tempestuous relationships
Hardened hearts
Imprisoned potential
S*landerous tongues
Jul 2015 · 430
SECEDE
Suppress the memory
Embrace the illusion
Conquer the fear
Erase the past
Destroy the enemy
Encapsulate the insanity
Apr 2015 · 603
Untitled Remains
Knife as a brush, skin as the easel. With every stroke emotions run red. All she can do is hate. In fact, she hates everything about her life.
She hates it all now. She couldn't be more confused. No one understands how she feels. No one cares. They only claim to so they don't feel bad about themselves. They don't want to be around her. They don't love her for being who she is. They try to change her. They try to save her. But she doesn't need saving. She needs someone to accept her as she is, and just love her. But she doesn't need some pointless infatuation, no. She needs true love. She wants it all to go away, but with no real reason. There must be more to this life than what she sees. There must be an existence somewhere where she won't feel so alone. She's so beautiful, but she just can't see it. No matter what people say, she can't believe them. She always helps others and tells them they are important, but is unable to see that she, herself, is so precious. She can never allow herself to be loved because she thinks she's unlovable. Or maybe it's that she thinks she's not worth loving. She's so beautiful, yet so ravaged. Ravaged by her own thoughts and how other people see her. People can be so cruel, but sometimes, she is the cruelest. The depravity of humankind is something one can only truly understand once they crawl inside their own skin and make a home there. Once they get to that place, there is nowhere to go but up.

Run. Just run. Run as fast as you can towards what your heart says. No, you can't escape, but as you run from yourself, you run towards hope. And that hope will help protect you from yourself. As you run from yourself, you live your life. When you find your true self once again is when you die. You are born as you, and through life you get away from that. And then, before you die, you connect with yourself again. But what is death? Is it a dream, is it a trance? It's something morbidly beautiful because we don't understand it. Fear of death is cliché. To embrace death is uncommon and so much more fun. This is because when you embrace death, you truly learn to live. Death is the unknown thing that allows us to realize we actually lived. This is a good thing, which means death is good. Death comes for us all, and not knowing when he is coming makes his arrival so much more special. Meeting death on one's own terms seems somewhat impolite. Death comes as a gentleman to escort you. Running to meet him is only going to damage your dress and shoes.
This something I  was working on years ago. It isn't really well thought out, but I never got around to posting it before. Here you go!
Apr 2015 · 847
Growing Pains
I groan as I fumble in bed
Collapse over the rail as I depart
When my feet hit the floor
Every part of my legs ache
I'm not supposed to hurt
I'm in the prime of my life
What is wrong with my body
Then again, what has ever been right
Mar 2015 · 424
The Final Destination
The cat I have had for 12 years died today
I picked up her lifeless, ridged body
And placed it in a garbage bag
The same way I throw away scraps
That I no longer want
But I do want her
I want her back so badly
Why did I take her out like trash
Why could I not feel anything
Why could I not cry
Am I in shock
Denial
I'm such a monster
Feb 2015 · 706
V-Day
Valentine's Day.
What a joke.
Attempting to buy someone's affection.
How trivial.
We make reservations.
We pick up our date.
We give them meaningless things.
Candy. Flowers. Cards.
People  are exploited.
People are used.
People are dehumanized.
People are objectified.
And it's claimed to be for love.
That's not love.
Love isn't candy.
Love isn't flowers.
Love isn't ***.
And love is NOT forced.
Love is when you don't have to constantly buy or do things for someone, and they still know you care.
Love is a little note you leave someone to cheer them up on a bad day.
Love is holding the door for someone.
Love is a hug. Love is a kiss.
Love is a kind word.
Love is innocent and pure.
Love is you and I.
I dislike Valentine's Day because I think it's stupid to set a day aside to show people you love them. Especially the special someone that is in your life. You should show them you care every day. That doesn't mean buying them things. I hate the commercial racket Valentine's Day has become. People are nice to their dates because they have selfish ulterior motives. People who are single feel left out and alone. Well, I'm here to tell you to go ahead and be your own valentine. Every day. And show love to everyone. Do kind things for people. That's a love everyone can express. And everyone will enjoy that. I do love my girlfriend very much. But, I won't be doing anything for her or us for Valentine's day. I have nothing to prove to her or anyone else. If your impression of my love for you is dependent on what I buy you on February 14th, I cannot be with you. I'm just fed up with people being taken advantage of by the stores and people being taken advantage of by their dates. We need to spread kindness and love. I love you all, and please be safe.
Feb 2015 · 369
Wash Away
Implore the river to take what remains
Feb 2015 · 2.3k
The Void
The shapeless void beckons me
I take a step forward
Unsure of what is to be
My footing fails me
I plummet.
Or do I rise?
Jan 2015 · 809
Powerless
My stomach ties itself in knots
My tongue becomes a brick
My hands tremor
My eyes sting
My skin crawls
My mind wanders
My heart drops
My will fades
Yet I do nothing
I'm lying here
Powerless
Jan 2015 · 375
Depression
*******
You choke the life out of the person I love. You won't even allow a tap out.
As she's choking, she hates herself.
It's because of you. Why don't you
pick on someone your own ******* size? A person can only take so much. Humanity is a curse.
Jan 2015 · 390
Dilemma
She wants to die,
More than live.
She loves me.
She hates life.
I love her.
I hate life.
I want to live,
But only with her.
Quite the dilemma.
Jan 2015 · 9.6k
Forego Forgetfulness
They say forgive and forget
But don't you ever forget
Jan 2015 · 5.1k
Silent Cacophony
Jan 2015 · 1.9k
Pieces
They tore into me
Now I rip myself apart
Put myself back together
Pieces are missing
*No one will know
My thoughts about my experience with ****** assault
Jan 2015 · 4.4k
This Twisted Love
Drown me in hate
It's all I deserve
I can love you
But I can't love me
You can love me
But you can't love you
We've got it twisted
But at least we've got it
Jan 2015 · 555
Ah, the South
The sweet scent of pecan pie
The bitter stench of bigotry
Jan 2015 · 949
Sunken
I exist far beneath the floor boards
I'm an apparition
Dragging my way through halls
Carrying the weight of the world
And the weight of nothing
I feel nothing
I recollect nothing
I'm not sure I even am
I'm not even sure where it came from. Sometimes it's true, though
Jan 2015 · 621
Chasm
My mind is a chasm
Here I lie
Crushed bones and all
At the very bottom
Jan 2015 · 832
DreamStar
Head upon the pillow
Hopes through the roof
*I yearn for your embrace
Jan 2015 · 525
Live for No One Else
In an expanse as vast and indescribable as the universe
Sometimes it seems as though existence is paltry
In those times, remember you are part of something grandiose
You have been granted an immeasurable opportunity
*You have the ability to live and not just be
Jan 2015 · 5.4k
Heels Over Head
They say head over heels
But that has never made sense to me
I walk head over heels
You've flipped me upside-down
*I'm heels over head
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
10 Word Element Challenge
I am a burst of wind interrupting the gentle breeze
Jan 2015 · 1.8k
Eye Sea
If you're an ocean
I'm lost at sea
Shipwrecked
Abandoning all I know
Your current
Sweeps me away
My eyes vanish
Beneath your waves
Jan 2015 · 797
My Fix
Everyone has a fix
Drugs, ***, money
Anything at all

My fix is love
It's also my greatest weakness
Until I fell in love
I felt like I could conquer it all
Now, I'm vulnerable

It's odd to think about
One person
The person that is dearest
The person that makes me see clearest

This person; my greatest weakness
This person brings me down to size
This person dominates my thoughts
My dreams, and aspirations

This solitary person is my solace
And I am okay with that
Jan 2015 · 879
Insatiable
If love be the sustenance of life
I hope I die insatiable
I could never get my fill
Your love gives me *hope
Jan 2015 · 684
The In Between
I think the longest allocation of time
Is that moment between when our eyes meet and when our lips meet
Jan 2015 · 348
Irony
Paint anti-war posters with blood
Jan 2015 · 969
Freedom
Scratching, clawing
Clenching, gnawing
Pick at the wound
Tear it open, rip it up
Free the bone from its
Prison of skin
Separate the marrow
From within
Light it up, burn it down
Incinerate the concept
Jan 2015 · 10.0k
My Understanding
We try so hard to understand everyone but ourselves
Jan 2015 · 1.7k
Home
When you're so used to feeling broken,
Feeling whole again probably just feels like a different kind of broken.

When darkness and chaos become home, what used to be home seems to be so far from home that it may as well not exist.

But home is always waiting for you, regardless of where you go or where you've been.

Yes, it will take a lot of effort to get back. But it will be worth it. Just start the journey. You will stray from the path, but that doesn't mean you should give up.

Home can be a house, an idea, a pair of arms wrapped around you, or anything else. Home can take many faces, and, here's the kicker. A lot of times, home never leaves you. You just think it does.

That sense of belonging is there, just buried deep below the surface. Home goes where you go. Home is you, and you are always home.
Sometimes I feel like I'm boundless

The sky cannot contain me
I shall soar into the infinite expanse
I am free to fly wherever I choose

Then, my heart crashes
Plummeting to the ground

I realize I don't even have wings
Jan 2015 · 2.3k
Concentration
The more I concentrate
The more I lose concentration
I wonder if I will ever find it again
Jan 2015 · 756
Thought
I think I think about thinking
More than I think I think about it
Jan 2015 · 547
Skipping Rocks
I cast my cares away
Like stones skidding
Upon the surface
Of a limitless river
Jan 2015 · 590
Fine Line
From babe's first cry
To happy hour
From beauty of life
Turning sour

Educate
Reciprocate
*******
Reiterate

There must be more
Hidden away
Searching for something
Starting to stray

Anticipation of a first kiss
Expectations of the welcomed bliss

Completion

Entering the work force

Bells tolling
Announcing a union between lovers

Creating a new being
Out of thin air
Only to bring them
Into a world of despair

Growing old and gray
Watching children stray

Seeing them struggle
And internally scream
Powerless to help
Nightmares from a dream

Is this all there is
There has to be more
My life has to mean something

Waves crash to the shore
Stranded out at sea
I look around and find
There is no solace for
What's left of my mind

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I fade to nothing
As iron turns to rust

Filled picnic basket
Deep sunken casket


But what I want to know is this
*When does the line
Between life
And between death
Become more than fine
Sep 2014 · 282
Need You to Want Me
*******
I wonder what you taste like
I want your nails to caress me
And your arms to surround me
I want to pull you close
And show you every ***** thought
I want to make your fantasies reality
I want you to want me
I need you to want me
Sep 2014 · 275
The Past
The past has a special way of holding on to you, even when you try to let it fade. It's like a leech ******* happiness away. You're doing well and then, one day, you remember what you used to be like. Or you remember people that you used to know. And then, you realize you know nothing about them. They could be dead. And then you start to question whether you care if they're dead or not. Then, you think of graphic ways they could die. Now comes the worst part. The self-hatred for letting your mind go there. You loathe yourself entirely for being that disgusting. You don't even know why you feel that way. But, suddenly, you remember what they did to make you feel that way. All at once, the feelings of hate, confusion, and anger come at you in a torrent of fury. You then forget how to feel anything but those emotions. The past still has you.
Sep 2014 · 408
Wanderer
I wonder as I wander
I dream as I ponder
What the world would be
Without you or me
If you were not here
I'd likely disappear
Because without you
Just what would I do
Me, however
If my life were severed
It would bare no consequence
For I have no sustenance
I'm no special man
In this barren land
I'm hollow through and through
No, I'm nothing like you
I'm battered and scarred
My life's been quite hard
You're the only reason I'm still here
So don't leave me alone with my fear
Stay with me overnight
Hold me ever so tight
And anytime you want to go
There's one thing you should know
I really and truly do need you
Sep 2014 · 435
Nighttime Lament
The pillow kisses my face
As I only wish you could
Sep 2014 · 374
Underwhelming
To be completely honest
I am probably underwhelmed
By what should overwhelm me
The things that greatly astound others
Barely make me double take
But give me skin
Let me see the patterns within
Let me count the stars
Show me the small things
And you will see passion
You likely aren't used to
I think I have my priorities
Completely opposite of most people
And I like it that way
Sep 2014 · 271
Untitled
Today was one of those days I can't describe. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. It just was.
Sep 2014 · 6.6k
Midnight Flower
Your beauty radiates like a flower in the moonlight
For to me that is the loveliest atmosphere
And you are the loveliest vista
Be my midnight flower
Let us count the years
Sep 2014 · 298
Sometimes
Sometimes,  the end isn't so abrupt
Sometimes,  it just fades in
Sometimes, it's not over
Sometimes,  it is just anew
Sep 2014 · 1.0k
Eating Me Alive
Here it is; 4 am
And all that is
All that matters
Every thought
It's you
It's **solely you
Sep 2014 · 359
If Only
If we individually decide we've had enough
If we rise up and do what we want
If we respect each other and ourselves
If we destroy fundamental roles
If we pursue our own dreams
Then, and only then, will change happen
We don't won't change
We have never had that ripping hunger
For things to be different
For if we had, they would already be different
Existence is nothing
We must live
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