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Mia Sadoch Apr 2018
Alas, this was not meant to be.
My feelings were not returned
We will stay forever friendly
All my dreams of love are now dead.

Yet she still occupies my reflection
I cannot deny my admiration.
Her smile pierces me like a lance…
I suffer from a peculiar ambivalence.

Every single heartbeat, similarly
To a wound, strangely reminds me
Of my utopias, delightful ideal.

Perhaps it would be enough to stand with her.
My love will protect her forever
Until another makes her own real.
This poem was originally written in French. I decided to try writing in my first language for a change, and it came out nicely, so I decided to share the contents with you!
Mia Sadoch Aug 2018
My feelings for you are like going to sleep after a horror movie.
I expected this nightmare’s return, but am still surprised by it, reappearing so abruptly.
No matter my efforts, a dream this shall never become.
Stuck in my imagination for eternity, and then some.

No matter how many stanzas
No matter how many pages
I write, I ponder, but my canvas
Does not bring the relief that made me engage.

No matter how many sleepless nights
No matter how many years
It never feels quite… right.
I conclude that I’ll never get to hold you, my dear.

There is no cure
For this torture.
It's been a while since she was the subject of one of my poems. I guess I'll never really move on, no matter how hard I try...
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
Sometimes, I like to look at the starry sky
And wonder if others are looking up at it
Feeling and regretting, the same as I
Having loved after seeing how hard it hit.

Maybe the stars are each a tear
Cried out by hearts, feeling lonely
Who have yet to see their own night sky clear
To see the moonlight of their lives fully.

But even in a moonless night
They still manage to shine bright
So they may have found hope
By finally managing to cope.

No more shall I succumb to nightly darkness
Instead looking for eternal happiness
Not in her, but in myself
Until the sunlight again shows itself.
This poem is the final one ("timeline"-wise) in the "mini-series" consisting of Smile, this, and A Wonderful Pain. I wanted to give a happy ending to this story, as this is how I feel... or I want to feel.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
It was a cold afternoon
A cold afternoon where I decided to give you my warmest feeling.
Wrapped up in a perfect little bag
And in a present I knew you'd like.

Inside was a story
Story of other people, it seemed
But it was not as simple as that
I was talking about you, to you, for you.

And on that day where the wind blew
And the rain fell, freezing
I'd realized the secret was blown away
But so was my heart, that you didn't keep.

But you liked it very much
You said it was special, flattering
And even if I don't get to keep you
Perhaps I'll still live in your heart.
The first poem (timeline-wise) of the "mini-series" consisting of Smile, Alone in the Darkness, and this. This one recounts the events that happened just before (and during) the rejection.
Mia Sadoch Apr 2019
New and intoxicating
It’s… all… so… great…
Eyes to the ceiling, mind in the sky
Hypnotic, delirious, overwhelming

A shared voyage
Through the matters of the flesh
Book passage to
What you always desired.

The red of your blush
Shines brightly in the night.
Sorry for vanishing for so long! I haven't been writing much lately, though even when I did, I forgot to post my poems here. Including this one, I'm 3 poems late, so I'll try to post them quickly, probably daily!
Mia Sadoch May 2018
We went to watch a movie tonight.
no
You and I went to watch a movie tonight.
We were not close, again. You went with your friends. It's understandable.
But I'm selfishly in love.
My heart selfishly belongs to you.
I don't know if I should take the blame for it.

All I ever wanted was to share a moment with you, but now here I am, writing.
And I seem whiny. Again.

Should it hurt? Should you hate me and rip my love away like a band-aid?
Or should I keep living this guilty pleasure of a lifetime?
Tell me please. I'm lost without you. Lose me, so I find my way-- no stay.
Do it. Free me. From doubt, from love. I want you. I can't want you.

What's this gray area? You made it clear.
I'm your friend. Why must I carry this amazing feeling? I love it! Take it away!

If I could hate you, it would be so simple.
But I will never hate you. I am physically incapable of hating you. There's nothing that will make me hate the wonderful person that you are.
But you can hate me. Do it. Despise me like you never despised anyone.

I'll try to come back. I'll ask you to stay. But I can't live this way... even if I want to.
Kiss me goodbye. Take advantage of my feelings to give you an opening and run away. Just don't stick around, or that might not be just a kiss.
Am I of value to you? Then prove it. Do what's best.

As always, in your hands,
That boy who doesn't know what he wants (but does know who he wants)
I'm very lost... I think I'll attempt to stick around again, and if it's too much, then...
Mia Sadoch Apr 2018
I used to be lost
People would ask me “What do you want to do later?”
I couldn't answer them.
I hadn't a clue.

As time passed, this decision started becoming imperative.
I still wasn't certain.
But that's when I saw my mistake: I wasn't looking at the present.
I was looking at the future.

I mustn't worry about money, or appearances.
I must do what I want. I must act on my talents.
People will support me in what I do;
I will carve my own path.

Be it my family, always supportive,
Her, my inspiration, my muse,
My friends, these people behind usernames I have never met...
I thank you all for making my art my calling.

You made me confident.
Thank you all. It may seem like I'm overreacting, but the comments, likes and loves you leave are always really appreciated! It's more than I could've ever asked for.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2019
Am I really where I want to be?
Is this the path I chose, or the safest I picked?
Is there truly a prize at the end of this road?
And if there is, can I reach it wholeheartedly?

There is like a wall between me and those around me.
I don’t belong; I’m missing something.
I don’t have that unyielding passion.
I am bothered by too many things.

So I should just run away!
Run towards my goal, ***** the beaten path!
The scream of my soul will drown out the hardships!
This! Is! Who! I! Am!

If only it were that easy…
Can you always go back? Or is there a point of no return in life?
Mia Sadoch May 2019
Reality is rigid, sometimes too much so
And so I long to bend it.
I find relief in darkness
In a world where you are you,
But you are for me.

Is it wrong? Is it contemptible?
I care not; this bliss transcends the subconscious.
Yet, I hurt when the real you appears.

And if your heart can’t be mine…
I’ll be content with my counterfeit.
And dream on; for a day where we may be.
I've been practicing lucid dreaming lately. It isn't easy, but it sure will be worth it once I get it down again. I regret losing that skill.
Mia Sadoch Apr 2019
Let's drive out to sea
Let's just leave, away from this routine
And those pointless struggles
We'll throw them all away ; come with me.
I can't wait for summer. High school is unbearable, and in about a month I'll say goodbye to it forever. Good riddance.
Mia Sadoch Jun 2019
I’m glad it’s over.
No more wasted time, and heartless people.
But those smiles I cherished so
Are now fading into the past, turning monochrome.

I want to hold them back, hold them close
Those friends that kept me going…
But they have their own destinies.
Times of parting prove the love I hold is justified.

So I close this story, not with tears,
But with laughter, and hope.
Hope for a reunion, and for a brighter future…
...For all of us.
I'm done with high school now, apart from exams... There are a few people I'm going to miss very much.
Mia Sadoch Aug 2018
I may be tied to you by blood
But that does not excuse your behavior.
Maybe spelling it out will make it stick:

If you just won’t understand what we say…
That people want things done a certain way
(Or done at all),
Then maybe the problem is in you after all.

If you’re not going to take
Responsibility for your own mistakes
Yet criticize others when they do
I want nothing to do with you.

People can change. They can be forgiving.
So, I’ll tell you once more:
Why won’t you accept what we’ve been saying?

I’ll be ready to meet you halfway.
Be honest, and remember what you swore
For once, and maybe I’ll tolerate what you say.
Sometimes, having things in common with someone does not mean you'll get along. It doesn't mean you have to be so... heartless about it. I'm trying my best... why won't you?
Mia Sadoch Jul 2019
Break free from the binds of expectations
And the chains of criticism.
Tear off the blindfold you tied around yourself
And take in the light of truth.

Spread your wings of freedom
But don’t fly too close to the sun.
Realize that this is how we’re meant to be
And bask in the liberty you always had.
This is something everyone should remember; that we're independent.
Thank the Persona series for reminding me of this.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
I used to be shy, unreasonably shy
So timid that even conversing felt like I’d die
But then I met some people
That would change my life, forever form a ripple

Yes, a ripple in the lake that is my life.
Inside jokes, heart-to-hearts, unwanted strifes
All in my memory, making myself
Always stay true to my self.

From my first friends that are still with me
To the ones that let me be free
My troubadours, always prove their niceness
Healing me of my unreasonable stressfulness

And so, as I always do,
This is how I say thank you
To the ones that always have my back
No matter if my thoughts are sometimes dark.

And I want you all to remember
Poems like these…
They last forever.
Please…

Never leave my side.
A poem I wrote for my friends, who are always there for me... in one way or another.
Mia Sadoch May 2018
Where did we go wrong?
A love that cut us down, blood and tears falling
As if the links we’d established suddenly meant nothing
It was an abrupt end, a false note in our bond’s song.

Cold stares followed the warm ones we shared
Acting like nothing had happened before
Those embraces, these kisses-- we abhor
But we’re no strangers, we loved, we cared!

But let it rest. Let it settle.
Time is the best medicine; it will all be fine.
Now, we can look at each other: a good sign!
Now, we can speak to one another: there was no need to meddle.

And now, we talked. A necessity.
A heart-to-heart a year in the making.
All of it was useless, this negative thinking…
I reckon that we can again be friendly.
A poem I wrote shortly after having a talk with my ex. She was not as bad as I made her out to be after our fight, and I hope to be able to stay friends (just friends) with her this time!
Mia Sadoch Nov 2018
Your presence goes unnoticed.
Your smile is benign.
I can see through you... as if you were not here.
Is this it?
Is this... moving on?

I feel like a feather in the summer wind.
I think... I did it.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2018
There once was a farmer
Whose fields grew stale.
No matter his efforts
They would turn out to remain hopeless.

It had been years since they turned sterile
Yet the farmer still held out hope.
Against all odds, he still believed
That one day his harvest would be plentiful.

Do not become this farmer
That exhausts the earth.
Look for new fields
On which to grow your love.
That farmer really is too stubborn...
Mia Sadoch Dec 2018
I was wandering in the darkness
In pain, parting and protestation.
And just as my heart was to break
I saw you.

I am a butterfly attracted by your light
So radiant and honest
And though you don't shine it for me
I'll still enjoy it all the same

You are my peace.
Being in love makes you notice just how blue the sky is.
Mia Sadoch Aug 2018
We are still only shrubs.
Soon, we will grow into majestic trees.

There will be many a freezing winter,
Tearing us apart with the dark embrace of snow.
There will be many a scorching summer,
Evaporating all but our tears.

But that does not mean we shouldn’t wait for the fruitful spring
Bringing us smiles,
Or the romantic autumn
Where our leaves and memories dance among the skies.

So onward
To a terrifying but beautiful future.
Sometimes, it's scary to be moving forward. But I know that I'll be making encounters that are worth the goodbyes.
Mia Sadoch May 2018
We used to go together like pen and paper.
But you ran out of ink, and ripped me apart.
I was pure and always present, yet I saw your care never
For all you wanted was to darken me to my heart.

And you succeeded. I was a shadow.
I crumpled myself up, and thought of hurting myself,
Scatter myself to the winds, burn me so.
But there was something you did not think of.

I am not alone. I never was, really.
As long as others will read me,
As long as they will understand my story,
I’ll have no need for your black calligraphy.

Now, I see the difference between you and me.
I never have ran out of ink, of love, of care.
On another parchment I shall write my story.
One that will not reject my art, my flare.

Care overwrote all the words you inscribed into me.
I wrote this poem for a friend of mine who was suffering from a bad breakup. It really hit her hard, and I wanted to help her out.
Mia Sadoch Apr 2019
Love is a tricky thing.
It seeks companionship, yet is masking
The loved's true intentions through a veil
Of romance, rose-tinted mist that's all too real.

But it won't be enough. I won't play this game.
I know all of its tricks, I'm not unwise
Yet I can't help but wonder if you feel the same
Despite logic proving otherwise.

Though, I can't just stand there
And let the one I love float away.
I'll tell you how much I care
And see what you have to say.
There's no point in keeping your feelings to yourself forever. At some point, they've gotta surface, else you'll just suffocate.
Mia Sadoch Apr 2018
An elegant and slender creature crossing
Nature with great agility,
I must say, I find you very charming.

Your senses are never unaware
Even sleep and darkness leave them ready
As none can stop your piercing stare.

You prove to be warm when I'm with you
However, you are unfortunately
Hostile and cold towards strangers.

We cannot understand each other. Is it a crime?
Perish the thought! There isn't a doubt that you and me
Will continue this friendship for all time.
Another poem originally written in my mother tongue. I decided to give another shot at writing on a new subject, and I believe it came out nicely! Let me know what you think.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
It was during a winter night
A party with friends, where it just felt right
Maybe we were a little drunk, maybe not
All that matters is, ever since she’s been my only thought

Something as simple as her vision
Makes me go mad with affection
This warm, fuzzy feeling…
Is this genuine love? Is it not fleeting?

She made me the happiest man on Earth
It really felt like a rebirth
To share a feeling so pure
A feeling that was ours, that won’t ever manage to endure

For fifteen minutes I held her
My fifteen minutes of redemption
Our fifteen minutes of perfection
Which we both wanted to last forever

I wanted to share more.
More embraces, more kisses, love to my core
More of her scent, more of… her.
Alas, I couldn’t see, and now all I do is suffer.

But now I lay here in the dust
Realizing that this belief was foolish
And now I feel such disgust
But also wish that this past love will reflourish

I thought that “us” would last.
But the love that I thought you held
Was unbeknownst to me withheld
Now, I must leave you in the past.

Why can’t I leave you in the past?
This poem was written for one of my friends. I was very honored to get and successfully write a request!
Mia Sadoch Jul 2019
The distortion in the mirror
Showed a new facet of me
Who would’ve known this program I looked down on
Would reveal my darkest fantasy?

I’d made peace with the fact I’d never
Became who I always admired.
But even though it was a mere simulation
The possibilities gave me vertigo.

I’ve been given a whole new meaning
To “loving yourself”.
"Mia".
Mia Sadoch Jul 2019
This year, I met warmth and strength incarnate.
A comet speeding by me, lit up in fire and light,
An astral, luminous heroine… a star, and in more ways than one.
She is a lioness. There’s no matching her energy and kindness.

I may have fallen in love with the sun,
But that doesn’t diminish its radiance.
This honesty, this aura of unbridled joy…
That is what drew me to you.

So shine on, my dear!
Keep laughing in the face of limits and inhibitions.
Break out of this dull world, and do it all with a smile,
As that is just the way you are.
I went through five different versions of this poem before being fully satisfied. It needed to be as perfect as I could make it. The person it's dedicated to deserves that much.
Léa... J'espère qu'il te plaît. C'est ma manière de te remercier pour tout: je t'"immortalise".
Mia Sadoch Jan 2019
Maybe I'm in the right
Or maybe I'm the bad guy.
The truth of the matter is
I couldn't care less.

I just want to live my own way
Free of doubt and needless struggle
I was prepared for enemies
I don't mind them because I have loyal friends.

I just don't believe in living a lie...
So I'll make my own truth.
No matter who gets in my way.
Live your life, not others'.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2018
(Your) lips remain in my mind, and there’s more that I long to see.
Or am I just entangled in the entrancing web of desire?

Your smile is still hypnotic.
I saw all of you, yet I still want more.
Who cares if we just met? We’d be great together! I know so…?

Please, take away my seal.
You, her, someone…
Anyone…?
I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head... is there something wrong with me?
Mia Sadoch Apr 2018
The midnight moon, reflecting on the countryside
A good friend of mine is accompanying me
I wish he could vanish, leaving you in his stead

You and I could stand under the stars, together
Marveling at this calm town's beautiful landscape.
I wonder, do you find the night romantic too?

Cloaked in the darkness, everything is immobile
But perhaps I could still get your heart moving, beating
If all was right, would you succumb to my courting?

With just the wondrous full moon as our only guidance
In this little world that is only ours, for hours
But I'm sure your smile would shine brighter in my eyes.
The night is so inspiring... I should take walks like these more often.
Mia Sadoch May 2018
He’d lost his mind
Lost his love, she was no more
Now without a meaning
He buried himself within another’s thighs

Once passionate, caring
Now lustful and selfish
Escaping his past by becoming a shadow
Only socializing in the night, in the sheets

Come the fifteenth
He’d perfected it
This one was under the command
Of his grasp, of his whispered words

But why live this way?
He did not care anymore
She took his dignity and righteousness with her
Now all he lived for was the moment.

Is there a point to feelings?
They lie, they die, they fly
Far, so far
They’ve left the horizon. The sun has set.

Now he’ll do his part
Loving with ire, to please the body entire
(Maybe the next night will
Make the pain go away).
Dipping my toes in the themes of erotica and grief at the same time. I had a sudden instant of inspiration and decided to make this (rather free-form) poem a reality!
Mia Sadoch Jul 2019
How can I explain such a thing as
The other “me” that exists within?
How am I supposed to explain
This forbidden feeling, deep in my chest?

I’m not straightforward, I’m really not.
I appear as such, but I really am
A curved road full of twists and turns.
That’s something I never could dare to admit.

I only feel safe among my friends.
I’m not all that surprised, but
How can I possibly say to them
That they’ve lived with someone who isn’t honest?

Honest with them, or with myself.
I'm starting to come out.
I'm... a woman. I think.
It feels right.
(I hope I'm using the right term... lol)
Mia Sadoch Sep 2019
My body is a temple
To which I’ve lost the key.
Everyone thinks its outside is wonderful
But I, inside, see how vile it is.

It’s easy to judge beauty
When you’re beholding, and not being.
I feel trapped inside a giant of stone
Unwavering and unbearable.

I want to be vulnerable.
To feel pain, joy, and sorrow.
So why, why?
Why must I remain in this stoic prison?
I've lost sight of what I am. But I know what I am not.
Mia Sadoch Oct 2018
(You've been visiting me more lately. I was so happy to see your face again, but you overstayed your welcome soon enough. Though, I really don't have the heart to make you leave.)

Surely, you'll leave on your own.
Usually, people don't stay that long.
Seeing your smile all the time brings one to my face...
I still want you to leave now.
Et cetera, et cetera...

It goes on. It goes on. And once more. Forever?

Leave or love, it doesn't matter.
Over time, they mix and match, and my mind
Vacates and accepts.
Eventually, my heart takes over again.

You.
I just want my happy ending. I can't stop myself from trying over and over and over again until I get it... no matter the cost to myself.
Help me.
Mia Sadoch Nov 2019
I'm falling through the atmosphere,
Burning up, scorching my skin
Unstoppable, to my own demise.

But is it really death to be free?
Stuck between gravity and a hard place
I let go, and flare up majestically.

I'd rather be a shooting star
Ephemeral and destructive
Than a prisoner of my own fate.

I'm dropping down, and out.
I am tired of studying. But there is no better place for me right now...
I kind of want to give up.
Mia Sadoch Jun 2018
Lying in cotton clouds
I feel myself getting heavier
The radiant wings of serenity surround me
And suddenly, it fades to black
I wish you a good night.
Just a short one I made up in class. It was pretty boring. I almost dozed off!
Mia Sadoch Jul 2019
Am I fated to live alone?
“All in due time”, they say
But my eyes are blind to that truth.
How must I wait for a day so far off?

It’s always the same.
The bonds I’ve forged are strong, but they’re not close…
Or rather, not as close as I’d wish.
It’s always “not the right time”.

Care is poisonous.
Love is painful.
Friendship is just one step.
People are a weakness.

...and other lies I’d like to tell myself.
"I would, but..."
No. Don't.
If you wouldn't, tell me.
Don't give me daydreams.
Mia Sadoch Jan 2019
I love(d) the way your body felt against mine.
My hands miss exploring your back,
Running through your hair, caressing your neck.
Seeing your lips move, I can't help but notice
The openings that I could slip through.

The heaven we once shared,
Is now just an unfading, unforgiving dream.
It's not romantic. It's just physical.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Mia Sadoch Jul 2018
I have no name to write in the sand of my beach.
I need my heart capsized again, shaken even by speech,
Caught in a storm of emotions, leaving me a shipwreck.
I miss your company on this deck.

Love, please return into my sea.
What is my poetry, if it's for nobody?
Is there something wrong with me,
Always trapped in this strange duality?

There is no spice to contrast this uneventful sweetness,
No pain to oppose my happiness.
But just like that, carried by the current, you float away…
I'm stranded. Please, stay…
Sorry for the long absence, I had to study for exams and then went on holiday. Thankfully, this holiday inspired me to write this poem!
Nighttime beaches are so beautiful... and painfully romantic.
To the other lonely person on that beach that night... hang on.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
People smile when they are happy.
That much is true, and to see
Yours, brings me such joy.
Then why is my smile a decoy?

I swear my happiness is genuine
But all I feel is a spleen
As deep and passionate
As the love I hold, love that I hate.

Pink, white, beige, red
Those lips of yours make me drop dead
Black, brown, blue, green
But those thoughts are, when they should have been.

Today I learned that love is a rose
Beautiful, but still harmful
And now I know that I should close
My heart, before my wounds become lethal.
My first poem! This one (and the two others after it) has been written soon after I was rejected. All three of these poems kind of tell a story, with this one happening right after A Wonderful Pain.
Mia Sadoch Dec 2018
Snowflakes fall by millions
Like tears
Always together
Yet forever lonely

Winter is the loneliest season.
Christmas is nice now. Just nice. It's losing some of its luster.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2019
I once was laying in fields of verdant grass
Relaxing, feeling the wind caressing my face.
There, a sparrow flew by
Agile in this shining morning sky.

As it flew to its peaceful nest
Did it ask itself, “is this how I must?”
As this fleeting moment came to an end,
The sparrow flew away, far from me.

Now that I have lost it,
I wonder where it’s gone, and where it’s been,
And if I’ll ever see it again,
Bringing with it those moments of peace.
Life was easier in the past... but was it more fulfilling?
Is it worth it?
That's for you to decide.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
What is love, exactly?
A feeling so deep and so pure
That it’s different for everybody
Well, I know what my love is, for sure

My love is sight
When I see your smile, your eyes
May it be hellos or goodbyes
I know that everything will be all right

My love is hearing
Your melodious voice gracing my ears
Taking away all of my fears
Truly, a beautiful feeling

My love is smell
Smelling your scent in an embrace
Taking me to another place
Up until the ringing of the bell

My love is taste
Your delicious lips interlocked with mine
Please, never separate, I swear it’s fine
Ah, this is just the best

My love is touch
Embracing, gripping, clawing at your bare skin
Liberating my raw pleasure, feeling yours akin
Yes, yes, honey, I love you so much…

You make me lose balance
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
What a delicious pain through a simple glance
I can’t feel myself when I’m with you, really.

This feeling, as you can see
Means a lot to me.
I think I love loving
More than anything.
I was feeling romantic this morning and came up with this! It's wonderful how love can throw all your senses for a loop.
Mia Sadoch Mar 2018
Take me away
To a distant land
Land of silence and emptiness
So I cannot
Think about you.

Take me away
To a distant land
Land of darkness and distance
So I cannot
See you.

Take me away
To a distant land
Land of negativity and hatred
So I cannot
Love you.

Take me away
From all these lands
Lands that do no good
Because I can
Learn to stand alone.
This poem is for all those who are trying to move on. I'm trying as well. Keep it up!
Mia Sadoch Apr 2018
Rainbows are red
Red like beautiful love,
Or like the blood of the dead.
Red, color of intensity. Yes, this fits like a glove.

Rainbows are also cyan
Just like the warm sky surrounding
Or like ice, an element that can,
Just like its color, give you a calm feeling.

Of course, there's indigo too
Not unlike the deep ocean,
Or sadness; after all, you’re “feeling blue”
Such vastness in one color’s span

Its purple is another hue
Symbolizing nobility
And perhaps vanity, it’s true
But you’d be proud donning it, surely?

Visible as well is orange
Revitalizing fruit, as we all know
It’s also part of fire’s burning rage
It’s the emblem of energy, it is certainly not hollow

And I can't forget about the bright yellow
Reminder of sunlight, it brings us warmth
Just like a joyful smile, I can only bow
To the happiness this color brings forth

And lastly, the ever-so-lively green
The veritable symbol of nature
And this hue being so serene
Reflects this fact; it gives me hope for the future.

This poem goes to all who wave
The rainbow flag with all their might
Despite the inevitable criers of “Shame!”,
I know that your hearts are right.

To Patrick
This is certainly not my best one yet, but I've been experimenting with subjects other than just love lately. Here's hoping for quick improvement!
Mia Sadoch Apr 2019
I often worry about you.
When you’re out of my sight, at a party or other
I wonder if all is right; what if this coming summer
That you await so much, is your last too?

You never know what encounters you might make.
Someone may harm you, take advantage of you, or…
But that’s love; apprehension, forevermore.
I’m sorry for being so protective. It’s for your sake.

But I shouldn’t be. I know your strengths.
So... this is interesting.
This poem was written on April 6th... 2018! I apparently put it in the wrong folder, and only found it a year later. I wrote it when the crush who's the subject of about the first half of my poems went to a party. I was very worried for no reason... but that's just how I am.
Mia Sadoch Nov 2019
I'm losing touch.
I'm drifting away, never to return.
I can barely fight, my courage,
Vanished, vainquished, lost in pain.

How must I get to what I desire
When I can't even feel myself breathing?
How must I show competence
In anything, with this pain imprisoning me?

Free me from this husk,
And bring me to life.
Written for a prompt challenge I'm undertaking. I thought I'd write a poem instead of prose this time.
Mia Sadoch Aug 2018
Love is ungendered.
This feeling's beauty
Is its universality.
It's the only thought on everyone's mind.

I'm happy to be
Swept away by this world's essence
Its meaning is union
The union of the people and the soul.


I sometimes look back at my life and see how I really was never unloved or alone. I'm so very grateful, and hope you feel the same. If not, remember that you only see darkness because you used to see light.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2018
I know how much you worry.
I know how much you suffer. I know the hell you go through, every day.
But there is something you mustn’t forget:

You matter.
No one decides your worth.
No one can criticize your flaws.
No one can make you feel like nothing.

You’re worth as much as anybody, if not more.
You deserve the best in life.
You deserve the best in love.
Because you’re the best: it’s that simple.

And nobody can take that away from you.
I wrote this for a very close friend of mine, and realized that everyone deserves this kind of thoughts every once in a while. Remember that there's always somebody out there who cares about you!
Mia Sadoch Aug 2018
There is a world I’ve yet to explore
Hidden in plain sight, covered by nothing more
Than an opaque veil, disrupting my view.

How must I bring it down?
A soft and subtle approach does not work; it just makes the attempts easier.
Being open and direct about it knocks me back with full force.

Is there a password, a secret path? Or is it simply random?
When will we get to join ourselves?
Open yourself to me, my dear unknown.

You are truly a mystery.
For being similar to me,
You act often so differently…

Just open yourself up and let me in.
I'm just being a little impatient, haha. It'll happen when it'll happen!
Mia Sadoch May 2020
One year. It felt like a cloudy night sky.
Nothing. Darkness, suffocating, painful darkness.
And then, occasionally, there were fireworks.
Moments of joy that last for seconds, until they fade away.

I’ve been trudging through this darkness
With no progress, no developments
Beyond who I am inside.
But the world doesn’t stop turning.

I still feel inadequate and talentless.
I still feel like an empty void
That has it together well enough that no one would look inside.
But I’m about to tear apart.

I need to do something!
I can’t be a parasite.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I feel so wrong.

Help me so I don’t need help.
I've still been writing, just not as much as before. University has been a huge waste of time so far and completely killed my creativity. I also feel alone and useless, so it's been fun lately.
Sorry for vanishing for 6 months, I haven't forgotten about you all.
Mia Sadoch May 2019
So it’s a no, then.
I did not know you yearned for someone else.
I did not know how much it made you suffer.
So I’ll help carry your weight.

Who cares if it’s not love?
I’ve found much better in you.
Have I ever been trusted this much before?
My regret is a weight I’m glad to carry.

And I know you feel bad
About turning me down.
So I’ll carry this weight, too,
Though I may break down from them.
Rejection is bad for the rejected and the rejector. It's important to remember that.

— The End —