i’m starting to see what they’ve been meaning when they say life is fleeting i’ve been watching it pass by yes i’ve been watching it pass by as if my own heart is not beating i’ve been so demeaning keeping myself from dreaming but lately i’ve been thinking dreaming in this fleeting life dreaming is nothing if not freeing
trying to love life again after years of giving into depression
I often wonder who you would be if you never got cancer in high school and you didn’t get addicted to pain pills —if your mom never left when you were in desperate need of a parent and you got help instead of radio silence from the people that were supposed to protect you
I often wonder who you would be if you never tried ******* or molly and you took your meds instead of self medicating —if your friends knew how to love you in ways that didn’t include encouraging your addiction
I often wonder who you would be if you started going to therapy and accepted help for the first time in your life so you could see that none of this has ever been your fault
I often wonder who you would be if you never locked me out and you opened up instead —if you accepted that you can’t do this all alone would you be the person I know you could be will you ever heal or will your addiction take your life like it took your mom and everything else that was supposed to protect you
Today Snapchat reminds me that a year ago you made me smile and I feel a wave of sadness for the happy ******* my screen with tears in her shining eyes I hear her say that she’s happy and for a moment I’m envious of her naivety of love
Today Snapchat reminds me that two years ago we went on our first date but what it doesn’t show is you showing up late in a ***** t-shirt your eyes sunken in and cheeks hollowed from a night full of lines and little white pills
Today I am reminded that for you I didn’t have rose coloured glasses instead I had rose coloured irises I was unable to take off the admiration I had for you so I let myself believe that what you gave me was love
I still miss you like you’re a word on the tip of my tongue that I can’t quite spit out and no matter how hard I try you never show up when I need you to —you only rear your head at night long after my head hits the pillow and my eyes finally rest —only then do I remember you
I know you no longer think of me I was never a fond memory for you there was never a place in your mind for my naive love stories but you let me break my own heart anyway maybe it made you feel something to watch me shatter and for a moment you became addicted to hurting me like I was your newest high but like everything else you grew a tolerance for me and tossed me aside for the next drug
I dont know. Some people living their life with happiness Some peole living their life with sadness And most people living their life with both situation. When some people think that life is just a wasting time.
They never feel like really happy They never feel like really sad They wanted to feel them. How it feels like to be really happy until you smile everyday? How it feels like to be sad until you want to end your life?
For some people, life is just wasting time You just do everything in circle day by day, Time by time The exact same thing There's no happiness, sadness, or excited over something Their heart just empty.
Well, maybe life is not wasting time But we are waiting time, To die That's okay Maybe we can find something exciting in there Just wait
I wrote this when i was 20 lol now im 22 can't believe my life that empty HAHA life is getting harder day by day but I'm grateful everyone having the emotions to color their life