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Lyss Brianne Dec 2021
I often wonder who you would be
if you never got cancer in high school
and you didn’t get addicted to pain pills
—if your mom never left  
when you were in desperate need of a parent
and you got help instead of radio silence
from the people that were supposed to protect you

I often wonder who you would be
if you never tried ******* or molly
and you took your meds
instead of self medicating
—if your friends knew how to love you
in ways that didn’t include
encouraging your addiction

I often wonder who you would be
if you started going to therapy
and accepted help for the first time in your life
so you could see that none of this
has ever been your fault

I often wonder who you would be
if you never locked me out
and you opened up instead
—if you accepted that you can’t do this all alone
would you be the person I know you could be
will you ever heal or will your addiction
take your life like it took your mom
and everything else
that was supposed to protect you
Lyss Brianne Dec 2021
Today Snapchat reminds me
that a year ago you made me smile
and I feel a wave of sadness
for the happy ******* my screen
with tears in her shining eyes
I hear her say that she’s happy
and for a moment I’m envious
of her naivety of love

Today Snapchat reminds me
that two years ago we went
on our first date
but what it doesn’t show
is you showing up late in a ***** t-shirt
your eyes sunken in
and cheeks hollowed
from a night full of lines
and little white pills

Today I am reminded
that for you I didn’t have
rose coloured glasses
instead I had rose coloured irises
I was unable to take off
the admiration I had for you  
so I let myself believe that
what you gave me
was love

I still miss you
like you’re a word on the tip of my tongue
that I can’t quite spit out
and no matter how hard I try
you never show up when I need you to
—you only rear your head at night
long after my head hits the pillow
and my eyes finally rest
—only then do I remember you

I know you no longer think of me
I was never a fond memory for you
there was never a place in your mind
for my naive love stories
but you let me break my own heart anyway
maybe it made you feel something
to watch me shatter
and for a moment
you became addicted to hurting me
like I was your newest high
but like everything else
you grew a tolerance for me
and tossed me aside for the next drug
tabitha asiana Dec 2021
she danced with a guy til dawn
but at the back of her mind
she wishes it was your hands around her waist,
your arms pulling her closer to you,
your chin on her shoulder,
your heartbeat she's listening to,
your body she hugged so tight,
you she was flirting with all night.
and even though you shattered her heart into pieces,
she was still hopelessly hoping it was you.
it has always been about you.
ain't that a little pathetic for someone who decided the break-up?
found this writing in my 2018 journal and i want to share this to you all. i wish i could have formal education in writing so it's not cliche as this.
Dee Nore Oct 2021
What is living?

I dont know.
Some people living their life with happiness
Some peole living their life with sadness
And most people living their life with both situation.
When some people think that life is just a wasting time.

They never feel like really happy
They never feel like really sad
They wanted to feel them.
How it feels like to be really happy until you smile everyday?
How it feels like to be sad until you want to end your life?

For some people, life is just wasting time
You just do everything in circle day by day,
Time by time
The exact same thing
There's no happiness, sadness, or excited over something
Their heart just empty.

Well, maybe life is not wasting time
But we are waiting time,
To die
That's okay
Maybe we can find something exciting in there
Just wait
I wrote this when i was 20 lol now im 22 can't believe my life that empty HAHA life is getting harder day by day but I'm grateful everyone having the emotions to color their life
Reisa Aug 2021
I want to be someone.
I want to be your someone.
tabitha asiana Aug 2021
I’ll think of you, of our memories together

of your hands entwined in mine

of morning kisses and tight hugs

of the love you once told me forever.

This will be the last time I’ll ever ache for your loss.
another writing written in 2017
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