Often I would love life to just freeze,
only for a moment can it all please stop.
Allow me to breathe in this warm breeze,
Let me soak in the light and let it fill me.
But the sun won't stay in the sky forever,
no it will ever so slowly begin to drop.
And all the clarity will surely sever,
the hope I managed shall quickly flee.
So I'll feel this peace in all of its glory
before everything gets rather gory.
What an unfaithful little liar,
why couldn't you just love pure.
All you caused was this fire
that we had to fight and endure.
Love true, love honestly
When up is down,
left twists into right
Green turns brown,
day becomes night.
I'm walking on the ceiling
confused by everything.
Feeling that I am unfeeling
as I don't know anything.
sdᴉๅɟ ʍouʞ I ɔᴉɓoๅ ǝɥʇ uǝɥM
op oʇ ʇɐɥʍ ǝɯ ๅๅǝʇ ǝsɐǝๅꓒ
Levels that went unchecked,
were left to harshly fluctuate.
You say It's just all chemicals,
and that I'm only very distrait.
I start to feel like a test subject,
as you experiment different pills.
Just trying to fix my chemicals,
so maybe I won't feel these chills.
Sinking deep past the surface,
slowly fading to the darkness.
The pressure crushing my bones,
empty as a house with starkness.
Why even hold my breath now,
when I can't see the sunlight.
All these emotions filling my lungs,
but all that I can feel is quite contrite.
Trying my hardest to find the problem,
I just cry when it's because I'm not dead.
My tears and screams go unheard,
as I'm laying here at the seabed.
108,000,000,000 people have lived,
all trying their best to strive.
With some achievement and losses
in all the history we archive.
Yet I'm scared I won't get written down,
the question I fear question will arrive.
That If no one remembers you lived
were you ever really alive?
Fear of being forgotten
I slightly opened up to you
but your face of smiles
turned to a face of tears.
That's when I knew that's
all you could ever know,
for the rest would **** you.
Is it really weird to be weird?
I think it's weird not to be a bit weird.
I found the only thing that helped
was to just go to sleep.
Because if I didn't shutdown my mind
It would surely take control.
All I ever wanted to do was dream,
thought at least it wasn't real.
But sleep never came easily to me,
yet it was what kept me alive.
Is the world any brighter
than what I can see.
Everything is so dim
I'm unable to see any glee.
Stuck sitting here wondering
how the world is suppose to be.
Silently crying my eyes dry
as I'm lost to the fray.
Because the world is quite chaotic
thinking what can I even say.
Wish I could see some color
but all I see is this world of gray.
Emotions sinking too low,
so I'll let the needle burrow.
Deep into my bloodstream,
a quick fix is your scheme.
When it's happiness I need most,
think I may find it in a lethal dose.
We take, inject, smoke and drink,
for it's much too tiring to think.
Slit the veins of truth,
see all of our ugliness
spill from this society.
That stole my youth,
as darkness hit my eyes
with fear and anxiety.
Please end all of this grief
and let's show loveliness,
maybe live in coalescence.
Our lives are rather brief
so can't we all be allies,
Isn't love life's essence?
When dreams are so vivid,
all my memories get rigid.
As I don't know which are real,
but nothing has ever been ideal.
So I'll simply write about thee
As I sip my confusion smoothie.
All of the loss from all the hate,
With so much injustice around
I fail to hold these cries.
As we'll all just grieving
In anyway we can express.
With problems from deep rooted
seeds of Bigotry and ignorance.
That we need to pull quickly
Out from all of this soil,
So our garden may flourish.
A nation in grieving from all these trama's, being together truly means everything.
I'm not the bulkiest,
and I know look quite frail.
I wouldn't put up much of a fight,
If I was fighting for myself.
But if I see evil being inflicted,
I pull for my braveness.
Not too scared if I get hurt,
more scared of losing you.
You'll find me in between,
you and the piercing bullet.
Taking the shot instead of you,
for you're worth taking a bullet.
But you are just a daydream,
Thought up by a bored mind
how I wish it was true though.
Having that passionate love,
the real one I hear about.
Oh how that'd be pretty swell,
to have a love worth dying for.
Everyone starts to THINK SO BIG
We get [closed] in our [minds]
But I wonder dumber things
? ? ?
Like do feel
I they look fluffy
mean just so
Yet I'm still glued to the
Forever reaching for the c
We're all humans so
why is there a problem?
Our minds our different,
but we're the same species.
No one is better than anyone,
we're all just stuck on this rock,
So why don't we just get along,
Instead of slaying our own kind.
Aren't we all homosapiens?
Late nights seem to never end
till they become early mornings.
When I lie awake with the moon
till the sun breaches the horizon.
Just staring into the void
that my ceiling has become.
Thoughts start to race
As breathing is straining.
For everything starts to flood
So I order my brain to cease.
But still it rises from my depths,
chain of command must be broken.
Now I'm sentenced to a silent horror
For I failed to shutdown correctly.
Think I need a reboot
You only need one reason
To stay alive that is
Sometimes it may be large
Or it may be small
But a reason always gives you purpose
We're all worth the same
Despite fame, politics, and other nonsense
That in actuality doesn't matter
You are you and only you
And you will never happen again
Don't take your beauty away
Because the fact you exist is truly beautiful
You're beautiful in so many ways you don't expect, keep breathing please.
And stay strong even when you don't know when this storm will end.
Just in how our minds think,
all so confusing for little reason.
Seems to always bring us brink,
I hear you go to blame the season.
But I think our minds are flawed,
for why we're all cable of such evil.
People themselves are just odd,
from humanity's primeval.
Humanity has been so cruel.
All I want is peace and happiness.
Because we can't quite
yet predict the weather.
But we can surely put
two and two together.
And we know
we must mend.
For our story has
to have bitter end.
But we'll try to
set out a plan.
Live our lives
best as we can.
Till that one day
we greet death.
our last breath.
Why do we fear
Quite a weird thought
That thought that one day
All thoughts will be thought
Creativity or art couldn't be thought of
For we would've thought all thoughts.
Will there be a cap to our minds?
I start to ponder the grim
On particularly slow days
That if I can't be here to stay
Just thinking with a simple whim
That the sun will still shine it's rays
Life would go on If I were to die today
Cherish this miracle that you are breathing
A rabbit hops happily
In this lively forest,
Right into a trap
Now surely doomed.
But only the rabbit's at fault
For moving too fast,
And oh so confidently
The rabbit is snared.
Oh my dear don't cry
Even though it's so cold
And the trees are bare
Hold out a little longer
For spring is on it's way
With leaves and flowers on the standby
Given the beauty mother nature foretold
Soon the sun will bring warmth to share
In kindergarten we learn the alphabet,
We color and make terrible art,
And that sharing is caring.
In 1st grade we learned bigger words,
With the worst thing we had to worry about,
Was yet a simple spelling quiz on Friday.
In 5th grade we learn numbers are confusing,
And learn about the planet we live on,
We find out why the moon goes away.
In 6th grade we learn about morals and sorrows,
As we're quickly taught the horrors of our history,
Of all of the pain, torture and lost of life we caused.
Honestly such a jump in what we got taught in school
Pulling up my sleeve,
it's always hard to perceive.
Those red and white marks,
all the anger it always sparks.
Happened because of self hate,
because I couldn't communicate.
Problems I wasn't able to surmount.
There's much to many to count.
I truly do hate them all,
Just waiting for yet another fall.
I did all I could do to be better,
But ever since I wrote that letter.
I've been nothing more than dead,
no more words need to be said.
Just let me go,
don't try and say no,
please just let me go.
Wrote this one a little more than a year ago
I may have stagnant waters now,
And I know I'm not always needed.
As the waters slowly reach my brow,
Truly I just want to flow unheeded.
Terrified to open up the floodgates,
Careful not to **** the town below.
The inevitable day calmly awaits,
Lonely as I live in my own shadow.
Everything feels so draining
Nothing being self sustaining
I couldn't ever fully stay afloat
Seems everyone is cut throat
I go to speak just to be scared to
Afraid to even say thank you
I'll bottle any of my emotions
Don't want any commotions
My self image so destroyed
I'll walk the edge of this void
To feel my heart pick up pace
Counting on me to show grace
In me I feel this strong resistance
Could never follow your insistence
Can't do much as I slowly drown
Besides give up and shutdown
Head to toe I'm made of glass,
Crafted with love and compassion,
I glistened beyond all I ever knew.
Once untouched and unsmudged,
But with time came scratches.
And parts of me chipped,
Or even partly cracked.
As I did my best
Not to shatter
Still not completely broken
Cut off all of my ten toes
Find secrets no one knows
Break my arms more way than one
Still I won't beg when you're done
Rip my skin apart
Tear out my heart
You'll see it still beats
No matter the mistreats
Pain is nothing anymore
Something I can just ignore
I shall prove not to be bested
My stubbornness is untested
You'll **** me anyways
And just light me ablaze
Yet I'll give it all of my kept strength
Surviving my torture regardless of length
Selflessness comes from sacrificing
Your time and your best effort
You don't think you just do
And you do because you care
For you care about their well being
So that they might live a little easier
Because life's really hard by ourselves
And It means so much when someone is selfless
Ashamed to see how much selfishness this world has
I felt so truly disemboweled when
I was told that my little sister
Won't even be given the chance
At life or to explore the world
Never to laugh and smile or
Would never say my name half correctly
Can't help but feel like I was gutted
Never knew what the night would bring
When I'd sink to the bottom of everything
As it slowly cracked my mind to pieces
Then all these urges crept in the creases
Causing yet another careless bloodstain
Because I could only think about the pain
Nothing feels quite the same and it's horrifying
I wonder why most of everything,
Of my life and anything that was in it,
Has been forgotten by my mind.
Maybe I forgot because off the blaring sound,
That's found it's way into all my memories,
The same one that was a constant in my head.
I'm honestly frustrated that I have very little to show for who I am
Being naive is undeniably more blissful
Better than this self aware nonsense
I want be a dog I don't care
Late after we're all gone to bed
I'd always find myself awake
With my ears being mistreated
Didn't mean to hear evils spill
I tried my best to go to sleep
But each night tears were shed
I heard everything slowly break
When daddy admitted he cheated
Then mama could only shrill
Yet all I wanted was sleep
Once more daddy had gone and fled
Left mama to feel the same heartache
Because history had surely repeated
As it was that night life lost it's thrill
Then I cried myself to sleep
My Grandma was the greatest teacher
She taught me silly photos were the best
Yelled to dry off before running inside
She showed me how to be strong
She gave me much needed determination
I learned to always treat girls like princesses
She made me discover what being brave was
She made sure I knew time was precious
I learnt the importance of goodbyes
As her last lesson given was that of death
There was still things I needed to know but she was gone too soon
Ever darkening the trees slowly take the sun.
Ever thickening the trees surely rule this trail.
Ever freighting trees making you have to run.
Ever attacking trees start causing you to flail.
Ever persisting they will do all that it takes.
Ever exhausting you soon fall from all their wrath.
Ever defraying all of your major mistakes.
Ever realizing this was indeed the wrong path.
Before you lose yourself, hopefully you'll notice you're on the wrong path
Anyone can can help you,
Everyone could treat you differently,
Anyone can breakthrough,
Everyone could care for you so intently.
Yet anyone can cast you aside,
Everyone could leave you forgotten,
Anyone can make you petrified,
Everyone could leave you so rotten.
But only you can choose how to react,
In reality It's all you can control,
We all attempt our best not to diffract,
And not lose our heart nor soul.
Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.
I'm not that shy in actuality, mainly just afraid of letting people down
Up above and far away
Is where I wish to go
Not in this burning astray
Stuck turning into snow
But guess I'll keep my hopes high
While I get lost among the sky
You've tricked everyone else,
Yet you couldn't trick yourself,
Isn't that the truth to lying?
That the one telling fibs,
Could never be their own fool.
I'll cut off my own hands
For everything I touch shatters
Can we ever fully be sane
Cause to live in the now
Is so very much insane
The only way your demons can hurt you,
Is if you let them break your will and surrender.
But if you keep fighting you shall never perish,
You'll find each one fall with a single slash.
And that you're stronger than any of your demons.
Trust me when I say you're stronger when you truly believe in yourself
One day I'd just be forgotten
By everyone and anyone I know
Deleted from all their minds
To never be thought of again
That is what I fear the most
There's beauty in broken things
Even light has to be fractured to make color
As you go to sleep
Counting every sheep
Till you're falling in deep
As you've fallen fast asleep
Dreaming a world with gleam
And with hills made of ice cream
Oh take me with you as you start to dream
I can't wait for the day,
Things will work out.
And I won't even think,
About the pain,
About the shame.
Oh how i can not wait,
For that fateful day.