Whether if they're easy
or perhaps only cloudy,
yet still persists the possibility
some consumed of immobility.
Made from the fabric of broken dreams
pieced together in this effortless jiffy
as to hide the truth behind these seams,
that way no one could never even truly see
how my eyes have become a grayish blue.
I've lost control over what I can show,
merely a puppet with a cruel puppeteer
misleading me to think I have free will.
Trying to find a motive in this quiet torso
which isn't reassuring me that I'm alive,
so I could survive a battle that's all uphill.
But is going onwards still what I owe?
I'm guessing so, fighting away the night
mercilessly as they've been trained to ****.
No ears hear these smothered screams
or can ever tell if I'm feeling quite iffy,
for their too clever with their schemes
as I will always be letters from being free
and seeing this life from a brighter view.
When it's been pouring heavy all day
then this feeling comes and always befuddles.
A couple cuts to make demons obey
rather I should jump in some muddy puddles.
Or is the pain supposed to put me place?
But no longer will I be at their disgrace.
Living in only a miniscule millisecond
then of the universe's forever lasting life,
receiving all tortures just as reckoned
for where we are has so much strife.
Before your neurons can even fire
or your brain could process anything,
It's too late to save this situation so dire
and keep this soul you're worshiping.
Just a fraction of time in the end
Thinking I have made the best moves
keeps me in an unmoving progression,
of attempting recovery on ground lost
from precipitous decisions I've chosen.
Trying my best yet nothing improves
since I still haven't given a confession,
the one that I'm alive but at what cost
till I do I shall remain forever frozen.
So won't something, anything,
motivate this stalemate I'm in.
I'm need merely a violent shove
to be something I undreamed of.
Often I would love life to just freeze,
only for a moment can it all please stop.
Allow me to breathe in this warm breeze,
Let me soak in the light and let it fill me.
But the sun won't stay in the sky forever,
no it will ever so slowly begin to drop.
And all the clarity will surely sever,
the hope I managed shall quickly flee.
So I'll feel this peace in all of its glory
before everything gets rather gory.
What an unfaithful little liar,
why couldn't you just love pure.
All you caused was this fire
that we had to fight and endure.
Love true, love honestly
When up is down,
left twists into right
Green burns brown,
day becomes night.
I'm walking on the ceiling
confused by everything.
Feeling that I am unfeeling
as I don't know anything.
sdᴉๅɟ ʍouʞ I ɔᴉɓoๅ ǝɥʇ uǝɥM
op oʇ ʇɐɥʍ ǝɯ ๅๅǝʇ ǝsɐǝๅꓒ
Levels that went unchecked,
were left to harshly fluctuate.
You say It's just all chemicals,
and that I'm only very distrait.
I start to feel like a test subject,
as you experiment different pills.
Just trying to fix my chemicals,
so maybe I won't feel these chills.
I slightly opened up to you
but your face of smiles
turned to a face of tears.
That's when I knew that's
all you could ever know,
for the rest surely ****.
Is it really weird to be weird?
I think it's weird not to be a bit weird.
I found the only thing that helped
was to just go to sleep.
Because if I didn't shutdown my mind
It would surely take control.
All I ever wanted to do was dream,
thought at least it wasn't real.
But sleep never came easily to me,
yet it was what kept me alive.
Is the world any brighter
than what I can see,
Everything is so dim
I'm unable to see any glee,
Stuck sitting here wondering
how the world is suppose to be.
Silently crying my eyes dry
as I'm lost to the fray,
Because the world is quite chaotic
thinking what can I even say,
Wish I could see some color
but all I see is this world of gray.
Emotions sinking too low,
so I'll let the needle burrow.
Deep into my bloodstream,
a quick fix is your scheme.
When it's happiness I need most,
think I may find it in a lethal dose.
We take, inject, smoke and drink,
for it's much too tiring to think.
Slit the veins of truth,
see all of our ugliness
spill from this society.
That stole my youth,
as darkness hit my eyes
with fear and anxiety.
Please end all of this grief
and let's show loveliness,
maybe live in coalescence.
Our lives are rather brief
so can't we all be allies,
Isn't love life's essence?
When dreams are so vivid,
all my memories get rigid.
As I don't know which are real,
but nothing has ever been ideal.
So I'll simply write about thee
As I sip my confusion smoothie.
We're all humans so
why is there a problem?
Our minds our different,
but we're the same species.
No one is better than anyone,
we're all just stuck on this rock,
So why don't we just get along,
Instead of slaying our own kind.
Aren't we all homosapiens?
You only need one reason
To stay alive that is
Sometimes it may be large
Or it may be small
But a reason always gives you purpose
We're all worth the same
Despite fame, politics, and other nonsense
That in actuality doesn't matter
You are you and only you
And you will never happen again
Don't take your beauty away
Because the fact you exist is truly beautiful
You're beautiful in so many ways you don't expect, keep breathing please.
And stay strong even when you don't know when this storm will end.
Because we can't quite
yet predict the weather.
But we can surely put
two and two together.
And we know
we must mend.
For our story has
to have bitter end.
But we'll try to
set out a plan.
Live our lives
best as we can.
Till that one day
we greet death.
our last breath.
Why do we fear
I start to ponder the grim
On particularly slow days
That if I can't be here to stay
Just thinking with a simple whim
That the sun will still shine it's rays
Life would go on If I were to die today
A rabbit hops happily
In this lively forest,
Right into a trap
Now surely doomed.
But only the rabbit's at fault
For moving too fast,
And oh so confidently
The rabbit is snared.
Oh my dear don't cry
Even though it's so cold
And the trees are bare
Hold out a little longer
For spring is on it's way
With leaves and flowers on the standby
Given the beauty mother nature foretold
Soon the sun will bring warmth to share
In kindergarten we learn the alphabet,
We color and make terrible art,
And that sharing is caring.
In 1st grade we learned bigger words,
With the worst thing we had to worry about,
Was yet a simple spelling quiz on Friday.
In 5th grade we learn numbers are confusing,
And learn about the planet we live on,
We find out why the moon goes away.
In 6th grade we learn about morals and sorrows,
As we're quickly taught the horrors of our history,
Of all of the pain, torture and lost of life we caused.
Honestly such a jump in what we got taught in school
I may have stagnant waters now,
And I know I'm not always needed.
As the waters slowly reach my brow,
Truly I just want to flow unheeded.
Terrified to open up the floodgates,
Careful not to **** the town below.
The inevitable day calmly awaits,
Lonely as I live in my own shadow.
Cut off all of my ten toes
find secrets no one knows
Break my arms more way than one
still I won't beg when you're done
Rip my skin apart
tear out my heart
You'll see it still beats
no matter the mistreats
Pain is nothing anymore
something I can just ignore
I shall prove not to be bested
my stubbornness is untested
You'll **** me anyways
and just light me ablaze
Yet I'll give it all of my kept strength
surviving the torture regardless of length
Selflessness comes from sacrificing
Your time and your best effort
You don't think you just do
And you do because you care
For you care about their well being
So that they might live a little easier
Because life's really hard by ourselves
And It means so much when someone is selfless
Ashamed to see how much selfishness this world has
I felt so truly disemboweled when
I was told that my little sister
Won't even be given the chance
At life or to explore the world
Never to laugh and smile or
Would never say my name half correctly
Can't help but feel like I was gutted
Never knew what the night would bring
when I'd sink to the bottom of everything
as it slowly cracked my mind to pieces
then all these urges crept in the creases
causing yet another careless bloodstain
because I could only think about the pain
Nothing feels quite the same
and it's simply horrifying.
Being naive is undeniably more blissful,
Better than this self aware nonsense
I want be a dog I don't care
Late after we've all gone to bed
I'd always find myself awake
With my ears being mistreated
Didn't mean to hear evils spill
I tried my best to go to sleep
But each night tears were shed
I heard everything slowly break
When daddy admitted he cheated
Then mama could only shrill
Yet all I wanted was sleep
Once more daddy had gone and fled
Left mama to feel the same heartache
Because history had surely repeated
As it was that night life lost it's thrill
Then I cried myself to sleep
Ever darkening the trees slowly take the sun.
Ever thickening the trees surely rule this trail.
Ever freighting trees making you have to run.
Ever attacking trees start causing you to flail.
Ever persisting they will do all that it takes.
Ever exhausting you soon fall from their wrath.
Ever defraying all of your major mistakes.
Ever realizing this was indeed the wrong path.
Before you lose yourself, hopefully you'll notice you're on the wrong path
Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.
I'm not that shy in actuality, mainly just afraid of letting people down
Up above and far away
Is where I wish to go
Not in this burning astray
Stuck turning into snow
But guess I'll keep my hopes high
While I get lost amongst the sky
You've tricked everyone else,
Yet you couldn't trick yourself,
Isn't that the truth to lying?
That the one telling fibs,
Could never be their own fool.
I'll cut off my own hands
For everything I touch shatters
Can we ever fully be sane
Cause to live in the now
Is so very much insane
The only way your demons can hurt you,
Is if you let them break your will and surrender.
But if you keep fighting you shall never perish,
You'll find each one fall with a single slash.
And that you're stronger than any of your demons.
Trust me when I say you're stronger when you truly believe in yourself
One day I'd just be forgotten
By everyone and anyone I know
Deleted from all their minds
To never be thought of again
That is what I fear the most
There's beauty in broken things
Even light has to be fractured to make color
As you go to sleep
Counting every sheep
Till you're falling in deep
As you've fallen fast asleep
Dreaming a world with gleam
And with hills made of ice cream
Oh take me with you as you start to dream
I can't wait for the day,
Things will work out.
And I won't even think,
About the pain,
About the shame.
Oh how i can not wait,
For that fateful day.
We fail life's great expectations
As we doubt our own thoughts
Falling short because of all these
Limitations and hesitations
When I can't comment on your small talk and I feel dumb
When I can't feel anything and pain becomes numb,
Wondering if I even have free thought.
Wondering and questioning if iRobot?
Lost at sea is when I heard you singing
Among many shattered rocks she laid if as a sleeping fox.
Putting me into her terrible trance with that graceful glance.
So distracted you lead me to my own doom.
Eventually we all get tricked by a siren or two.
Whispers heard through out the night
Saying that they know all the truths
Don't let their lilac tongues fool you
They know of nothing
For their merely voices
Still I think of an old habit, that I had once made to inhabit, it developed quick as a rabbit.
With how fast the crimson would flood, with mountain of tissues soaked in blood, as my body is tossed in the mud.
In all honesty I still miss the rush, the gush,
That silent shush.
But I'll keep my word,
Though i might be a flightless bird,
I can still be beautiful even with the scars, is that so absurd?
You can attempt to live your whole life perfectly, try your best and show commitment in everything you're passionate about, spend years planning your future and setting up your life.
But it's really scary to know everything you ever strived for can be lost in one unfortunate day.
Just one day is all it takes.
Slithering sparks slicing the darkness in two, it makes me shiver.
Off in the distance is another storm I'll have to weather,
but it's okay I'm a striver.
Because if I catch even a glimpse of that beauty,
I can stand though even the strongest storms.
When happy endings aren't in surplus
Because some people will lose I suppose
I'll start to question my purpose
Stolen from the light,
Trapped among the night,
Everything's flight or fight,
Everything's just out of sight,
We all face the struggles of trying to get it right.
We all have something we're trying to get right.