Often I would love life to just freeze,
only for a moment can it all please stop.
Allow me to breathe in this warm breeze,
Let me soak in the light and let it fill me.
But the sun won't stay in the sky forever,
no it will ever so slowly begin to drop.
And all the clarity will surely sever,
the hope I managed shall quickly flee.
So I'll feel this peace in all of its glory
before everything gets rather gory.
As you found out all you said was why,
the only thing I said was I don't know.
The real reason was I didn't want to die,
you say there's better ways to live though.
Didn't you think that I know there was,
I know there were better ways to cope.
But self harm had caught me by it's jaws,
and out at sea there wasn't much hope.
As you ask me over and over again,
yet you'll receive the same answer.
Because I didn't see much to gain,
had already lost myself to this cancer.
So I won't make you shed another tear,
in deciding not to tell you the truth.
Exclaiming that you love and care,
Never knowing as a terrible sleuth.
The case you had slowly went cold,
As I never gave what you demanded.
Couldn't get a confession to be told,
even when you caught me red handed.
I'm my very own saboteur,
it isn't what I would prefer.
Tried to get my thoughts to transfer
but you won't get what I infer.
As I'm only a silent whisperer
Failing to be a connoisseur.
No one could even focus on such a blur,
like the poems I wrote that never were.
What an unfaithful little liar,
why couldn't you just love pure.
All you caused was this fire
that we had to fight and endure.
Love true, love honestly
When up is down,
and left is now right.
Green turns brown,
day becomes night.
I'm walking on the ceiling
confused by everything.
Feeling that I am unfeeling
as I don't know anything.
sdᴉๅɟ ʍouʞ I ɔᴉɓoๅ ǝɥʇ uǝɥM
op oʇ ʇɐɥʍ ǝɯ ๅๅǝʇ ǝsɐǝๅꓒ
Levels that went unchecked,
were left to harshly fluctuate.
You say It's just all chemicals,
and that I'm only very distrait.
I start to feel like a test subject,
as you experiment different pills.
Just trying to fix my chemicals,
so maybe I won't feel these chills.