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Nov 2023 · 112
Empty monumental moments
Why do these moments feel empty
When they should be monumental
They're ever passing by,
Trying to make me feel settled
Ever conflicting with
These feelings that seem to
Violate my own thoughts,
Hanging on to the idea of
Living in the moment
While I'm far from it

Even when I'm high
I seem to set the bar low

Losing my feelings
Was never a big blow

I have been holding on
To something stronger

Was it conviction, belief or religion
I'll never know

I just have full faith
That everything will work out in the long run

Even when these moments feel empty,
They turn out to be monumental in the end.
Been a long time since I wrote so here goes nothing
Jul 2023 · 354
Lucked out
I thought I had lucked out,
Of all the things it could have been
It just turned out to be
Yet another listless face in a luckless place.
Jan 2023 · 166
Blues
Here I am
Laying sculptures for you,
While at the same time
Waiting for you
To appear
Out of the blue.
Perpetual blues
Oct 2022 · 143
Be here, now.
When I talk about you now, I feel shortchanged
Even when I hug you, the feeling remains the same
What have you done to my lover, if I may ask?
Who are you really, behind the mask?
Talent was not worth it,
Until it turned into skill
Rise against the odds
To go in for the ****
Thought it was supposed to be silky smooth,
Thorns in a bed of roses lay still
Hate it for the un-nerving truth
Victory accompanied by a sunken face
And a broken tooth,
What once was
A mountain to climb,
Now within my reach
The peak of ascent
Toiling along the way
A threshold to breach,
A view so spectacular
I could live there forever
Alas, the only thing worse,
Than an incoming frown
Is the dream I was having
Of getting to the top
Without ever putting a foot down,
A ghost of perdition
A drunken semaphore of
Nihilistic fortitude
Scarring enough to even put
Any effort in the journey,
Thinking all I had was
What I ever needed.
The blues seems to suit my heavy heart,
May give me the fuel to finally kickstart.

...

Maybe I'll come back to this at a better time.
Aug 2022 · 1.8k
Remember you, maybe?
Talking to myself,
With a glass of whisky sour
If only love was a cake,
That I'd thoroughly devour
Hard to get off the
intentional high
In a world of unending emotions,
All I know is a melancholic sigh
Quiet uninhibited, this feeling of trance
All I needed is one last dance
Yet here I am
Hopping some brews,
If I fall in love again
I'm sure it'll make the news
The regular life
Now seen as an aberration
Of what used to be,
When we used to hold hands
With the whole world at our feet,
Just like the sky won't stop turning blue
Rest assured darling
I'll always remember you.
Well, never say never.
Jun 2022 · 668
What are we?
What are we, if not for words
Trying to find meaning in this world,
But always coming back to the place
Where our pen and paper submerge.
We are all poets, aren't we?
Jan 2022 · 747
Here comes the rain again
The iridescence of this feeling,
shall be the guide to a better path ahead
hoping we will strive,
to make newer mistakes instead
If you ever need me
to show you the way
always remember that
it's the rain that makes the tears go away.
rain is a pacifier of eternal emotions.
Nov 2021 · 1.2k
Sleep of no dreaming
I met a girl
Last night,
When the stars aligned
In a straight line,
Like a 2-d plane
With the axis-aligned,
She came in
Like an external variable,
To bring another dimension
To add an edge
And take the edge off,
While I try to understand
This secluded sense
Of restless validation,
I try to jot it down
These words in commotion
Alas, poetry in motion.
and then I woke up.
Nov 2021 · 1.8k
A Muse
Ego is the enemy,
but also a muse.
there is no excuse,
for me feeling blue.
It's not the first time anymore,
I ponder with open eyes
But not with an open heart,
Each time I'm fallin' in love again
With a little less intensity and audacity,
But still going for it
With the hope,
I could fill it
With some half-hearted passion,
No butterflies in my stomach anymore
But it'll still be a movie,
You hope to end it
Before the credits get rolling.
thought this would last longer
but the feeling itself is that of solemn brevity, yet pure.
Sep 2021 · 2.5k
Greet
Midnight
I'm out for a stroll,
I greet the devil
Out there collecting souls.
these dreams that I'm having maybe the best I've ever had.

Or wait...

Am I the devil and there is no dream?
Sep 2021 · 1.1k
Security
It's been a while
since I've written,
maybe I was trying to forget
the pain that I felt
when I put words on the paper,
or maybe it was just regret
of the life gone by
people left detached,
maybe this does not make any sense at all
this uncertainty
is not good for my sanity,
all I need in this world of maybes
is just some security.
The secure people are usually non-adventurous. I think that is what you need at times.
Jul 2021 · 541
Mutate
How far will you go
To get labelled as a giver,
Till there's nothing left to give
And you mutate into a taker.
Tradeoffs for a chance to change
Might just make you strange
Jun 2021 · 627
Flippin'
Flipping through nothing
But empty pages
Made me realise,
You see much further
With an open heart
And iridescent eyes.
Are you looking or seeing?
Jun 2021 · 371
Enough writing for today
a distant thought of
an intimate dream where
my life depended on me
putting emotions into words
everyday,
writing something
that makes me think
of myself as a decent and productive
human being
somewhere in the herd,
contributing
trying to raise the bar
of  critical thinking
in a thoughtless world
it wasn't so mechanical
so I would be on autopilot
but rather its a journey
a transformation,
always growing
perplexed yet again
at that thought of being
satisfied and optimistic,
looking into the mirror
vacillating as always
who am I today?
what will I get done?
being involved in another
facade or just flow
like water
lacking pretence,
waiting to be profound
over the baggage of rebound
longing both to be
known and hidden,
letting the significant moments
of my life
pass in little incidents
will I take these words
and dive in deep?
or simply give up
and go to sleep?
What if I had to write for my survival?
Will I survive?
May 2021 · 490
Yesterday
there's a fight
outside,
but also
within me
who will win today?
will I be cheerful or despondent,
hopeful or sans it,
I just wish to
win over yesterday
for it is
my enemy.
we go on,
somehow,
someway.
May 2021 · 685
Story
I feel like an open book
not just some words on paper,
with still some story to tell
trying to mean something greater.
perpetually surrounded by stories but finding one for yourself is almost like a needle in a haystack!
Apr 2021 · 595
The First Kiss
the feeling forward
instead of backward
for a change,
triggering my body
into whole new
sensations;
as if I never had
any urges before
this time,
when our lips met
it killed
the innocence
of crawling
before running,
which my heart was,
faster with every passing moment
like a drunken semaphore
of hormones raging
inside and out,
the brevity of time
and of life
clearly out of the window,
for when we collide
to come together
instead of falling apart,
like this poem
not a reckless serenade,
then it hit me
a moment lost in creating one
when she fixes me,
would be a pity
to know we can't
go back.
Apr 2021 · 865
Liqourin' Down
just
trying
to
liquor
down
my thoughts,
replacing
them
for some
memories
that can't be
bought.
The paradox of alcohol: it does help with erasing bad memories and creating equally memorable ones.
Apr 2021 · 713
Reverie
yet another quiet reverie
precursor for a life forgotten
snatched away like the dreams I never had
of lush green valleys around the mansions,
fancying a meal of venison
in a clandestine shade of night
sparkling wine was a flavour of few,
lying awake at night
with a lover by my side

raucous laughter coming from all around
kind behaviour of the family makes you astound,
as a whole rather than a half
all together cherishing your art

lives were made and ruined in the night,
take it from an artist for losing everything in sight

a kleptomaniac of not just thoughts but words to boot,
fishing for inspiration while straightening my suit

scrambling for meaning even in the delusions,
living in denial rather than waking up from illusions.
Maybe in my dreams, I'm an artist.
Apr 2021 · 656
Save Me A Trip
I just wanna talk
maybe about something real,
like emotions or feelings
but I'm often recommended to take a walk,
Oh how I struggle to overcome
all of that from which I'm trying to heal
why do people get stuck up with the news,
movies or tv shows they binge?
often seems irrelevant
and makes me cringe,
I wish for someone or something
to give me clarity
or If I'm being honest
just save me a trip to therapy,
I'm in the middle of a meltdown
all I wanna do is be free
Imagine if happy thoughts would sell,
what a world this would be
I wish for poetry to flow through me
but only when I'm high,
I hope the words will get to me
but I already know it's a lie.
Sometimes I just wanna
I don't know,
just sleep it off
for a month or so.
Apr 2021 · 571
Talkin' Fingers
sometimes my nimble fingers
slide across these coarse pages
subconsciously but smoothly
as if having a conversation,
filling these blank pages
with ghost stories
collected from the sages
of past ages unknown,
almost flirting with my sanity
running off on their own
like a free bird
talking to me
'Hey, are you reading this?
Look, I'm writing poetry!'.
Runaway fingers over runaway hearts...
Apr 2021 · 1.6k
Sondering Around
Our complexity is what we think
separates us from everyone else,
our vivid dreams seem so different
yet ultimately meant to collapse into one.
Random thoughts for a crowd-less world.
Apr 2021 · 453
Would You Pray?
I don't know if I've seen a lot
But seems that I've seen enough,
It's hard to find good people
As hard it is to find good love.

Maybe the world's crashing,
Hence everyone seems cruel
The world is ending,
And everyone's fighting their own duel.

It's hard to trust people,
But much harder is to trust yourself
Maybe there is a way out of this,
Where I don't end up by myself.

I've been carrying this load,
On what was once my light shoulders,
They just seem rugged now,
That the world has turned colder.

Once a virtue of kindness
Spread like a wildfire in my heart,
Tried to be kind once,
But the world tore me apart.

What did I learn so far?
In life, there are no two ways,
There is only one
Would you believe in God if I asked you to pray?

Pray for your soul,
Pray for your temptations,
Pray for all those souls
That desperately seek salvation.
Strange times but stranger human behaviour.
Apr 2021 · 1.0k
Lights
Lights and all the shades
That its shapes throw,
Etched along the path of its travel
Are the moments it creates
Where we're wasting away
The time of our lives
In the hope that a beam
Will wash it all away,
Give us the enlightenment
For which we all pray
Let the wave of brightness
Pass through the keyhole
Of this dark room of life,
Make you look impeccable
While in reality
You're only
Dusting yourself off,
Picking up the pieces left over
In the wake of destruction
Caused by your own self,
The smile is unreal,
Not fake
You still carry hope
In the middle of all the cries
Some days you fall,
Other days you shall rise.
You can't run from the mountain,
If you want to drink from the fountain.
Apr 2021 · 887
Blown
my dreams
being blown away
up in smoke,
just trying to get
some feelings stirred,
but my heart looks away
without staying broke.
Still, I ramble on...
Mar 2021 · 1.6k
Moonlight
At last, a light from the moon
In this gloomy night
Could be my last ray of hope,
Or just the ultimate boon.
Maybe we'll dance
under the moonlight again,
if we ever get the chance.
Feb 2021 · 165
Maybe
waking up again,
for a ray of hope
or maybe because you are broke.

escaping the darkness,
for finding a light
or maybe enjoy a forgotten delight.

selling your soul,
for a piece of trash
or maybe just some extra cash.

playing with feelings,
for when you're bored
or maybe until you find the cure.

finding your place,
for a purpose you see
or maybe something that could make you free.

visiting your friend,
for justifying a means to an end
or maybe to pretend.

winding it down,
for finding some sleep
or maybe waiting for tomorrow's leap.

breaking the loop,
for some living
or maybe just being forgiving.
The state of what we call living now. I'm not worried, are you?
Feb 2021 · 475
Seasons
Do the seasons change
so that I don't have to?
People come and go,
sometimes for a reason
sometimes just for a season,
I'm here till I can be.
Feb 2021 · 530
As I Am
To be here as I am
I had to be there as I was
a perpetual dreamer
sometimes a singer,
but often a screamer
my ever-fleeting memory
of past life
feels like pollen in the beehive,
was I always the same
or just another empty name?
maybe asking questions
just made me mad,
as there were
days I've been sad
days I've been glad,
living was always the grey area
between good and bad.
Jan 2021 · 704
The Past
it keeps me awake at night,
I try to escape but it holds me back
for all the things said and done,
I thought I could so easily run
away from it all,
but life holds you accountable
and I take full responsibility,
but it gets tiring
maybe I want to be happy
just for one day,
without having to think about
what ghost of my past
may show up tomorrow to play
for even though the days,
they come and go
as they please
without me in control,
what won't I give
to trade the dusky nightfall of yesterday
for the crack of dawn tomorrow
with that in my mind,
I try to live and grow
and I still cast a shadow,
that I may never outgrow
yet there is a light,
at the end of the tunnel
and I aspire to reach there someday,
for it may take away all the pain
and shine on like a crazy diamond.
There is a calming essence in letting go of your past, but it sometimes takes all fibre of your being and every once of your strength.

Listening to The Dark Side of the Moon again after ages.
Jan 2021 · 364
Et tu, Brutus?
I don't have
great inspiration,
very often,
to write
but when I do,
the site stops working.
Why do you do this HP?
Jan 2021 · 1.0k
Lone Wolf
A wolf in the jungle
Leaving my pack far behind,
I was howling for you.
Jan 2021 · 725
She's Always Seeking
without a vision
people are rarely reminiscent,
of what they have been seeking
and fall into a deep torpor
maybe its this slumber
that makes them realize,
all they wanted was right there
in front of their eyes.

there was a girl, brave and bold
carried in her heart, a potful of gold
searching everywhere, knowing nowhere
where she would get her answer.

with such strong desires held in her soul,
a fire ignited in her heart
as she wandered into the dark,
the rustling of a brook, somewhere in the woods
where she would often sit by and ponder
'Is happiness all I seek?
or is it just one of life's very old tricks
and maybe it reeks?'

with such a heavy heart
she walks alone into the woods,
contemplating whether life is something
that she never really understood.
I seek for her as she seeks the answers.
Jan 2021 · 742
Starting Over
stuck in an abyss,
staring down into nothingness
as if it will shine a light,
when you least expect it
lost myself in a manner
it was hard to recover,
with the missing pieces
still at large
but can't give it up,
not yet
I have a long way to go
before I eventually blow
looking for some sunshine
after this punishing snow,
clear as a crystal
while my husky's fur bristle
getting a cup of coffee to go,
its high time for me to grow
more than I ever know,
I feel it is harder
to pull yourself
out of the funk
when you have been down and out,
there is that element of doubt
hindering your next move,
to get out of the abyss
and find yourself in a place
surrounded by love and hope
sometimes even your heart can't cope
simply because it ain't used to it,
but this time I shall submit
to a higher belief
that everything is gonna be alright
give my future self a chance,
a chance at redemption
to take responsibility
for myself
and those around me,
a chance to start over
fail
and rise again.
One from the archives.
Dec 2020 · 814
Pipe Dream
a man's word
is all he has,
a poet's word
may just be
a pipe dream.
words are all I got
to give these dreams
some meaning.
Dec 2020 · 574
Ghosts
I thought
we were once
so close,
knit together
close enough
to know
what's it like,
to be ghost
to each other,
yet wandering
out into our
own colourful
way of life,
just that
we are
chasing
different
colours now.
colours change,
seasons change,
people change,
yet I
remain the same.
Dec 2020 · 634
Living With Myself
I never wanted
to be
what you
turned me into,
but I will
live with it,
for I
don't know
how else to live
with myself.
Dying feels easy, it's the living which is the hard part.
Dec 2020 · 329
Decisions
I don't need you
to question
my decisions,
as I do that
well myself,
a plethora of voices
to account for
no reaction,
maybe one
sanguine voice
will rise,
to drive a change
and take me away
from a desolate
morbid graveyard
to yet deserted
but pristine meadows,
with nothing but
a hope
to grow
rather than
just fade away,
and maybe
that is just enough.
The seed of all this indecision isn't me, I'm perfectly capable of making alright decisions.
Well, maybe not that often.  
But at least I'm in control.
Dec 2020 · 790
The Laundromat
maybe I saw her
at the laundromat
and just missed her,
I was looking for a change,
while she walked
away.
Now my life remains the same.

A cruel penny for my thoughts indeed.
Dec 2020 · 143
Living & Learning
please don't make me
another person you shove,
just let me be free,
out here learning to love.
Love isn't one of the most important lessons in life,
it is the trying
learning
failing
and starting back again.
Dec 2020 · 416
Notification
my frantic anxiety used to wait for you,
now it just waits for a notification.
****, these notifications can **** you, in many ways.
Dec 2020 · 406
December
seeing things I don't know,
learning things I won't remember
another year with nothing to show,
sitting through a bitter December.
Ah, it is that time of the year again. A flashback of all that was said and done, this one has been different in so many ways.
Dec 2020 · 711
Fear of a Blank Planet
another nihilistic overture,
for the impending hedonism
a callous cacophony
looks to be rather innocuous,
a brazen haze
of a lifestyle,
every night
a bohemian escapade,
thought we came far away
past life abandoned
that felt austere
yet salubrious,
this air reeks of dystopia
such a rootless feeling
keeps me riding
the nomadic hound,
a desolate heart
in a victorian home,
all around I see
empty eyes
and wretched souls,
need a shining light
for the start of something beautiful,
before the world crumbles down
fueled by fattening greed,
trees fall to the hatchet
realizing a dismal trepidation,
the fear of a blank planet.
What are you doing to save the world?
Do you even go out of your own bubble to see the world?
Do you even see the irony of the last question?
Dec 2020 · 101
Undying Love
does love breeds death
as much as death breeds love?
Here's to hoping I love till the end, one way or another.

Sometimes we're as close to the living as we are to the dead.
That is love.
Dec 2020 · 609
Circles
already running in circles,
still care about drawing lines.
Maybe humans found a way out of their humdrum existence through the division of anything and everything.
But that's not even the worst part.
Unfortunately, it seems that humans never learn and the loop goes on.
Dec 2020 · 627
Long
Why do I have to long,
To find a place where I belong?
Just trying to find a place,
to rest this nomadic soul
a place to stay,
without a hole.
Dec 2020 · 298
It's Uncertain
getting you was
a cup of tea
holding onto you,
misery for me.

when you imagined
I'd go down on my knee
my first instinct,
was just to flee.

oh, can it be?
your voice is calling me
will you finally
set my soul free?
It's just your voices against mine.
Dec 2020 · 242
Pandemic Love
those eyes
without a face,
your steps
will I trace?
time to
take off the mask,
ready to die?
you ask.
A rendition of Romeo & Juliet, during the pandemic.
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