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6.0k · Nov 2015
Infl!ct!on
Pep Nov 2015
There is an ecosystem of conflict thriving in my brain.
A world with questions for residents and doubts for landscapes.
I’m not sure if I’m actually reaching for answers right now,
although something in my soul aches.
Those landscapes are parched
and turning to deserts under the sun the residents have named:
Uncertainty.
2.9k · Sep 2015
The Act of Speech.
Pep Sep 2015
I'm too quiet I know,
    to you I'm a closed door.
        you're looking to see me open
you're looking for something you're supposed to listen for.
1.8k · Sep 2015
.In.a.Goodbye.Bed.
Pep Sep 2015
Just know
       that wherever our worlds revolve to,
yours was part
             of the constellations guiding me home.
Like the stars,
       your light was a phantom of something
  I never actually knew,
                though it penetrated my heart so.
Posting some stuff that was removed by accident.
1.7k · Sep 2015
~(o)~ Ilucard ~(o)~
Pep Sep 2015
One could know from a look,
     that his eyes belonged to thousands
         and they all belonged to him

And she could tell from a look
    that he would continue to **** thousands
        at only her every whim

So they took to the mansion
    dark and daunting to the temptation
        to throttle, to lay claim to fear

As all who came across him
    knew he was something to behold
        kindlessness engineered

And the darkness that was them
    corrupted the darkness of the world
        gathering it forever close

Her pet, her protector, sure
    His queen, his beautiful master
        an unlikely pair at most

Within him were a myriad of hearts
    his own swallowed by the endless hoard
       her demands, a beacon home
Resonating with his madness
  
If it weren’t for him and all his souls
    she wouldn’t have stood a chance
        she would have been alone...
In the darkness.
Just a little fangirling going on here and turning it into some practice. ._.
Pep Nov 2015
Never let it slip your mind
the older he/she becomes
the slower they move
remaining longer within earshot
shuffling in what other's say to
the crooked bones of their bodies.
They have learned the lesson of trees
to be still, and have a thick skin
perhaps if you weathered the young
and all that young lips say
you too would be "hard of hearing"
and blame it on going gray.
That selective hearing.
892 · Sep 2015
Me[rlot]
Pep Sep 2015
Drink me, I’m whole
more than your sad Merlot
warm down the throat
intoxicatingly so
Humor me with this
a demise of burgundy and blush
of laughter through the night
of sweet nothings, no rush
Please, for me
don’t rush.
Posting some stuff that was removed by accident.
845 · Sep 2015
$tupid 5gether
Pep Sep 2015
Because after years of chasing after you trying to prove

           that I was smart enough for you
       that I was funny enough for you
    that I was right there for you
that I would never give up on you
    I gave up on myself
I was the stupidest one after all
   You proved it
      You were the funny guy
  and You were always right
     and You're still here, don't know why
        and You should have given up
           and yet here we are.
825 · Nov 2015
The Love Child
Pep Nov 2015
There is a thing called Forever
it can be a scary thing
it watches you when you wake
notices when you sleep
hears every light whisper
knows every secret you keep
holds in its hands all you love
and at its feet all your hopes
your dreams hang from above
and everywhere it mopes
Forever is unknowable
for Time gave birth to it
because Time loved Uncertainty
so much that they had to be together
Forever.
817 · Sep 2015
Desperately Wanting @;-
Pep Sep 2015
The truth behind every last word
between every sentence
every poem that's the same here
is you've been there for as long
as I've desperately wanted.
I only stopped wanting
so desperately
when it felt like I was the only one.
And I'm sorry.
Perhaps you wanted me to let go
when I thought you wanted
to be called beautiful.
796 · Nov 2015
Faux
Pep Nov 2015
Perhaps it is in nothingness
that there is true power
for in being nothing means
to have room to become.
735 · Sep 2015
.-.-.Golden -:- Our.-.-.
Pep Sep 2015
The years crept slowly
their light casting, crawling
with open arms to the now
amorous perspective
And the flowers bloomed to this
and the grass bled green to this
and the rivers distilled to this
and moved to unended oceans
So we were thinking of
the staggering of our hips
when repeatedly our lips
met in something...
so desperately called love
It’s an overused word
shot forward as one of many stars
across our hand painted skies
above these splitting shards
over this that “never dies”
Golden hour forever full beauty
shadows holding poses until me
and you take a little moment
to look at our time spent
And my trembling lips
halt our staggering hips
to breathe amongst the stillness
and gather such willfullness
to continue our gaze towards the clouds
Golden our time has been
But it was only an Hour of time.
719 · Sep 2015
Myself/Yourself.
Pep Sep 2015
I talk to you as I talk to myself
but the words find their way back to me
a friend beyond romance, and drama
the perfect stimulation for mentally
disposing of the clutter in my mind
telling jokes that were never funny
selling secrets that were easy guesses
showing the neater sides to my messes
and as these pathetic burdens lessen
to reveal that I wish I were as much to you
and then you tell me on a rainy afternoon
that I give you peace
which for everything that is the least
I could do.
I think you taught me what love is.
So thank you
I miss you.
~sigh~ My best friend lives so far away.
703 · Nov 2015
Where We've Been.
Pep Nov 2015
And somehow
    by breaking all the rules with you
        we broke one another
And we're clinging so tightly now
    I worry that a part of you fell behind
        and I'm the only one
Who will ever miss it enough to continuously
    Turn around
        And see what we really were
Strewn about across this desolate land decorated with ourselves.
691 · Sep 2015
O.R.
Pep Sep 2015
My confusion could be simplified
through careless exemption
in the sense of letting a deep cut heal
save the stitches
a curious thing left open beneath
a layer of textured, delicate skin
my topical treatment
of words from others full
of hopeless affection
and their eventual happy endings
and alcohol
**** the pattern of young humanity
I’m afraid even in the arms of
new friends
I would still remember old warmth
I would still hold myself closed
and fall open to infection.
Posting some stuff that was removed by accident.
613 · Oct 2015
$ipp!ng T@3
Pep Oct 2015
I'm sorry for all the poems
they mean I didn't talk to you
I'm sorry that a lot of them are wrong
making me sound destitute
There is no hate between us
there's simply no room
but the past through our thick locks
we are trying to groom
I want to think of the future
I want you to think of it, too
not as teenagers clinging in rebellion
but as beings learning the true
meaning of what it is
to live
to love
to grow
and to know
other avenues that are bigger than us
to learn from them
and maybe, just maybe
I'll find you in a coffee shop playing music
and I'll be sipping tea
and we'll have learned that there's more to life
than what appears romantically.
I'm always going to have a place in my heart just for you. Simple truth.
611 · Nov 2015
Black and Mild
Pep Nov 2015
The soft encasement of our footsteps on damp grass,
cold which slowly seeps into my cloth made shoes
eventually to carry up my ankles, through and through
we sit on the old trailer, looking up
to a sky of but few stars, most hidden save the dippers
and our small talk begins to chorus with
the symphony of the night while we grant ourselves
permission to bypass such warning labels that
we've been wearing for the past year.

The past is the past, or so I've told myself
you've endorsed this new policy of "no regrets"
and sweep your tongue not only over my neck
but across beliefs held close for so long
I know not what to do with you, for I am leaving you
to an unknown I've learned of over and over again
merely by walking the same path in circles with you
and those circles have permeated a spell around my heart
which tends to seek, and return to you.

The change that corresponds between us displaces goodbye
we've tried so many times and the word is not strong enough
to cut the stem that is our understanding of one another which
stretches out between us over a sea of all that is flowing forward
dividing our worlds, placing us on separate sands
though we sit so closely now that our gazes still connect
in the dark where the moon hovers in a cloudless sky
and you've missed each shooting star that has flown
for the entire time, you were looking at me.

In bodies ever so familiar, our recognizable outer shells
we relax there for a while
because in the name of human decency, in our closeness
you and I may be gazing up at the stars talking about cats now
but I know that this is how we are waving across a vast sea
and if all of this flowery talk
is to be swallowed up by the night's shadows
as the cold continues towards my core and drives us inside
as our steps are forgotten by the damp lawn
I know, for truth, that goodbye does not quite blanket our history.

Yet, may a good-night lay to rest such things.
Pep Sep 2015
"Don't look at me for another 20 minutes
     you got a dead look to your eyes,
                                                                                I don't need it."
#thethingsyousay
509 · Sep 2015
Remembering In Gray
Pep Sep 2015
The darkened hall grew around me
as she came, the breath in my
lungs filled and stilled, halting as I halted
the moment from passing
her skin without blemish, her hair
so short compared to my own
her eyes black voids to another
universe no longer recognized
her mouth turned up, though sewn
closed locking inside a world once
seen clearly in a childlike mind
and though time was still, all I
had ever wanted was looking at me
and it was the most terrifying experience
of my half life and I wondered
how scared was she, staring
into the future? I wondered if to her
my eyes were fallen, my skin so pale
especially in the muted gray
if she saw a destroyed fantasy
or a kiss of hope, and I wondered
if she knew too much because
sometimes it is best to be uncertain
and be happy than to be sure
but always disappointed
but my fear turned to agony when she
acknowledged my existence that
in the turn of this realm I am real
that she accepted me for all I
am and never will become
so dear I hold her, so far away she stands
with one arm gracefully raised
“Take me with you,” a prayer to understand
but I cannot, I will not
because I want her to remain uncertain
in loving memory.
Posting some stuff that was removed by accident.
506 · Sep 2015
Your (o)ye
Pep Sep 2015
I wish I could tell you this
that there is a thing close to happiness
between the "best day(s) ever!"
and the tedious endeavors
All I can do is continue this waltz
through a perplexed world
with you as a moon watching
an uncertain, fumbling girl
If your spherical eye could just
formulate a body round itself
similar to mine that's of dust
we might move our feet in time
Instead, your gaze on me shines
silhouettes creep over your eye
I can't smile too much, or you
crumble to the ground, too
disembodied, bloodied
until the wind sweeps you with gust
after gust
If only you knew we were both
but dust.
478 · Oct 2015
Contentmental Gardening
Pep Oct 2015
Sometimes the way I see contentment isn’t a vast plain of rolling hills
with no peaks and sweet abandon all there at once.

Sometimes for me it comes in pieces that are sharp around the edges.
I have to hold them a certain way
and then I get to feel the smoothness of the moment
as my thoughtful nerves relax a little.

Sometimes if I have enough of them to fit together
there’s enough room for something to grow.
Like hope, or a fantasy, a mild happiness.
I section each thing off so that it neither reproduces nor withers
returning to them when everything gets cold.

Sometimes I go back to those pieces
and the detached state leaves me confused as to
why it meant so much when I found it. I stumble over them,
they break, I don’t think of them for a while.

Sometimes the new pieces I find would go great with the old
if only I had the right parts of each to make another bed
to grow some emotion out of.

And sometimes, I don’t bother with any of it.
Eventually it hits me, that each piece is fine for a moment
Although, I have not the skill
to make my own vast plain out of broken shards nor the expertise
to know just how sharp/fragile each one is before I grab it.
So they come and go.

But no matter where they are around me
they are impossible to dismiss entirely.
428 · Sep 2015
Th@y Wou1d Ha^e $creamed.
Pep Sep 2015
She would pluck those petals
from the flowers in the meadows
taking each and every one
till the right answer had been won.
She waited through the night
till the first shard of light
bound the blooms to open
earthly decor she put her hope in.
Talk to flowers all you want, dear
tell me, if you can, what you hear
he'll be walking, won't be waiting
you'll be plucking, here remaining.
412 · Nov 2015
Cavity Inducement
Pep Nov 2015
Ever pulled a freshly made soon to be fruit roll up
     from cool wax paper?
That's what your words do to me.
    Half of them fleshy and colored with ingredients boiled down
and the other
             smoothed and nearly transparent.
Still, which part will I wind up eating in the end?

There's always a piece of foil.
322 · Nov 2015
haled. In
Pep Nov 2015
Through twisted clouds he breathed
and in a moment heaved
a burden called many names
but only ever seen
as circles beneath his eyes.
Thoughts I will never hear
Explanations remain unclear
reasons untouchable by me
mistakenly I tried
greeted by his echoed sighs.

And it's a test of endurance
for whomever you know feels this
knowing the gloom
is inhaled as a heady mist
Also once inside them
it may never be torn out
and they will need you to stay
to recap what Friendship is about.
312 · Nov 2015
Because
Pep Nov 2015
most
tend to enjoy
short poems

— The End —