Slice slice slice
All over my arm.
Slash slash slash
All over my thighs
Cut cut cut
All over my hips

Making Roman numerals all over my skin
Hoping it will silence the voices within
Letting the blood run down and around
Hoping agony will drown and run aground.

My skin will mend
My bleeding will stop
But scars will remain
Penned onto my heart.

You've moved on
You're living life
I'm still counting days
Since my heart died

the pain
the numbness
the subtle suffering

I've lost track
How many days?
I know you're gone
Never coming back

the lonesome tears
the fragrance you left on my heart
the empty beds

Just know I miss you
My wish upon stars
Sparkle of gold
Killer of my heart

*the shock of loss
the bitterness of loss
why did I lose you?

Plastic face
Plastic skin
Plastic smile
Plastic eyes
Plastic clothes
Plastic words
Plastic souls

When will we be real?

The thunder tells the story
Frail laughter and frail glory
Of my mighty love
And my mighty jealousy
Hear the whisper beyond the crack
Of lightning and rain and howling winds
Know the body of whom I long for
Beyond the miles of our division
The distance too great for warmth
For hearts of passion and a wild side
Take me in your arms I plead
Let's see a sunrise wrapped together

We sit here, you and I, at this table of unconfirmed love.
How I wish you could read this heart of mine! You would see your name, your face, your heart, your soul burned within me.
You have branded and smote me with your dazzling beauty!

I would sensually whisper to you every word I have left locked inside my love for you. How every time I see you my breath staggers in my lungs and my eyes are awash in your harmonious grace.
That I dream of you nightly and we are together, yet you are stolen away from me every time dawn shines her morn light.

If you would know of this secret locked away passion I have for you, would you entice your desire for me? Would you pursue the calling of your heart for me?

For a time my world was in vibrant colors,
All the oceans were in blue and green,
The deserts were in red and caramel brown,
And all the grass and trees were glittering emeralds,
The flowers were a myriad of colors, like rainbows,
And the snowy mountains were a deep purple, capped with twinkling snow.

But frosts came.
The oceans were frozen solid killing all life in them,
The deserts were like a sheet of ice was rolled over them,
The grass withered and died away; the trees were stripped of their leaves.
The pedals of the flowers fell and decayed into nothing,
And the sun is covered in black clouds that the snow twinkles no longer.

I'm cold and frozen.
My eyes only processes in black and white,
As my mind has forgotten what colors are.
Fire has since become extinct,
And light flees this forsaken world.
I endure it, though. I endure.
Because I love you,
And with you I remember color.

There are just some days when hurt and fear cut deep into your spinal cord and you are left totally paralyzed in despair and hopelessness clawing away at the door you locked yourself behind hoping someone can tear it down and rescue you
But nobody ever comes and you suffocate on the fumes of your gloom the bane of your perseverance is the nagging tempting whisper that
                                          **You
                                                 Are
      ­                                                  Not
           ­                                                    Worth
       ­                                                                 ­    It

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Broken hearts plague us all.
Fallen hopes &
Shattered dreams
Every lost opportunity.

Everyone knows
Everyone has felt
What it's like being dealt
Then discarded away
And left with an array of scars
With no more chances to
Reach for our stars.

Off to church in Sunday's best;
But why must it be formal dress?
God sees through ties and vests;
So who is it we'll impress?

Can't let our friends and family
See through our masquerade
Gotta be perfect for this day
Let nobody see every other day

Sunday: "Perfect"
Monday: Cuss out your co-worker
Tuesday: Neglect to spend time with your kids
Wednesday: Go to Bible Study
Thursday: Drink all night
Friday: Hit the *******
Saturday: Recover for tomorrow

So often I feel that church is just a costume party.

As long as you wear glasses with mirrored lenses on the inside,
You will always be right in the eyes of the person you're talking to.

Avail my mind to find the key to your heart;
Sojurn my soul to lift you to higher levels.

I seek to discover the richness of your love.

Let my ardor for you find peace in your heart.
Oh, that you would want me with fondness!
Voluptuous is your beauty; veracious my love;
Enriching our lives, our hands interlock.

Yet you do not see this the same as I!
Offering my heart to you, you recoil;
Undone is my spirit, mangled and mutilated.

I don't want you to know that I'm going down/
All the words getting stuck in the back of my throat/
My blood turning still and lifeless within my veins/
I chased you without knowing the price to pay/
Oh baby I'm a tormented soul in this world/
It's so hard for me to let go of the stars/
Oh I'm going down in flames today/
Someone give me a reason to stay/

I wrap my life in crimson sheets of paper
         so nobody will notice when the blood seeps through

Why is it no matter how many words
   I plaster to a page with a broken heart,
How many poems I write about you,
How much I love you,
   That we aren't together living in happily ever after?

You're engrained into every cell of my existence.
Because every beat of my heart cries out in pain for you.
Every tear that escapes from these hollowed eyes,
    Is every word I left unsaid to you.

*I'm sorry I never confessed my love for you,
It's just something you didn't need me to do.
Maybe you'll one day find out and know,
Perhaps then we will unite in love.
Tonight is just so much pain,
Of not having you.

So full of care and love.
  **Precious time given to others.
    Even when you're not wanting to.
       Cuz you're a person of nice quality.
          I have so much respect for you, friend.
            And you should know I will never let go.
               Love imbues your essence and your spirit.

Air**
It moves in an out between my lips.
If fills and empties my lungs.
It provides oxygen for my blood.
And yet I hate the taste of it.
It reminds me I'm alive,
And I despair in life,
Because life is harmful.
My soul wrongs itself,
So that tears fall from my eyes.
If the air were to stop,
I might be happy;
Then again if the air stopped,
I wouldn't have you.

Alone
   Darkness

Surrounded by fire and shadow
Lost within depths that darkness
Can never hope to conquer away.

Doubt
    Fear

Crying and hiding alone
Not a soul near for comfort
Solitary suffering in absence.

Crushing
    Desperate**

Where have you gone
And why can I not find thee?
You are a phantom in my heart.

boy meets girl
girl meets boy

boy falls in love
girl doesn't know

boy tells girl
girl gets scared

boy is always there
girl just doesn't care

boy gets wounded, starts shutting her out
girl wants to be close, gets hurt by the wall

boy suffers guilt from hurting her
girl suffers guilt from hurting him

boy can't stop loving her
she can't stop being afraid

round and round they go
in circles they orbit

boy wants to let her go but can't
girl just wants to find real love

boy ends it all because love just hurt too much
girl finally opened her eyes and saw love was always there for her

too late

I am shaking uncontrollably
All these feelings aren't mine
I want to fade into sleep
Everything is so wrong
I'm a tormented soul
My cry is unheard
I'm deaf and blind
Mute and crippled
I say not my own words
For I have no words left
I am broken
Wounded
I am dead

maybe we're all
a little bit tired of
fighting for things
that aren't changing

maybe we're all
somewhat bitter
about the people
we failed to love

maybe we just need
a little more hope in
our heads when we
go to sleep tonight

maybe i'm just rambling
like a madman unhinged
& nobody will hear what
i'm actually trying to say

Friends are a lot like
leaves of a tree,
or roots of a tree.

They're in your life for
a few seasons and fly,
or in your life forever...

My love for her is so great,
my heart melts for her 'til the dusk of day.
The night mourns when she's away,
cherish, adore 'til the dawn.

Her beauty is great,
Wondering mind 'til her sees,
pursuing is all I do,
While waiting for the moment, for her to say "I love you."

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
    in the heavens.
   Through the praise of children and infants
    you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
    to silence the foe and the avenger.
   When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
    what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?
    You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
    all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
    the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.
Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

The bitter taste of losing you
   I'd rather lose everyone else
I miss you every day
   Think of you every day
Please come back to me
   Please come home

A summer solace wind storm,
Blowing against my face, ripping against my clothes,
Out here, on the edge, thinking of you,
Imagining your face, in this abyss trying to swallow me.

It creeps against me, holding me to the ground,
I didn't want to move anyway.
But the shards of rain and ice pelting my skin,
Causes pain, causes me to tear up.

I hold your memories in my arms,
I hold your gentleness in my breath,
One last time, I hold you close to me,
Then I let you go.

Run away//
Run away//
From the alarm clock that breaks your rest//
Run away//
From the pains held in your chest//
A life unblessed//
From blessings you subvert//
Run away//
From the love you invert//
Run away//
Run away//
Run//
Away//

Carve a little more
out of my heart
I'm not yet completely
empty of love...

It's hard to keep going everyday without you...
I miss you, y'know? I miss you...

I miss your smiling eyes that belied your emotionless face
I miss all our long conversations into the deep night
Whether they were absolutely meaningless or serious
Just to lay with you long after I should have been asleep...
Yeah, I miss you...

I miss kissing your forehead everytime we had to say goodbye
I miss the anticipation of seeing you after we'd been away
I miss all of your poetry you carved into my spirit
Barfight
On How to Love a God
If You Talk Enough Sense You'll Lose Your Mind
Nadya and Fatima (Such a great one)
Sun Kissed
Woman Lay With  Wolves...

I bet you didn't think I'd know your poems like that...
But you overcame my stubborn heart & I carved you into me
Molded and sewed every stitch of you to me
& I miss how you stole my heart away...
& I miss how I fell in love with your mind long before I fell in love with your body. (What a body it is, too)

I don't know if you'll ever see this letter to you
Part of me doesn't want you to because you'll know
Just how many tears I've shed missing you
& how bitter I am that you were ripped away from me

I miss you, y'know? I miss you...
& even though you're gone away
You left your sparkle in my eyes...

The feather pen lifted from the page and, finally, he had written his last. He wanted no thunderous applause or any awards of gold and gems. Neither did he desire to be immortalized in the pages of history for countless generations. Overwhelming admiration is, well, just that: overwhelming. As his works were printed and sold all throughout the land for lords and dukes and earls and even the king himself he knew what he had to do.

He sat up from his creaky chair and gave his work one long lasting gaze before shuffling to the main entrance.
Donning a large coat, scarf, hat and walking stick he picked up the sack he packed throughout the week and slung it over his shoulder. He gave a sad look over his home before passing through the doorway and onwards to the highway.

They say he can still be found if you follow the tears he shed along that road...

He had given her his
Everything
And it killed him
Requiem
This is how love kills

Like an old clipper, sailing on the water
My soul searches all the seas of life
Trying to find that elusive treasure
Not made of gold or silver.

Guided by shining lights placed in towers
Guided by twinkling stars blazing in the sky
I find my wondering ways through the world
Living all the great stories yet untold.

Within the bounds of all four corners
Of this sphere we all claim as home
I search for that elusive treasure
Not made of jewels or gems.

And when I've passed on and sunk
No longer kissing the water's surface
I will be remembered always, forever
Like a ship in a bottle.

When I am in my Dark Before Dawn,
Believing my falsehood that I am a Failure
Listening as Angels Fall, Breaking the Silence;
The sound is Hollow yet it brings me Close to Heaven.
Bury Me Alive is no longer my mantra;
Never Again shall The Great Divide form like this.
I taste the Ashes of Eden clinging to my lips, I remember that I am not forever Defeated.

Yet I am living in Dear Agony,
Feeling like I'm going to slowly Fade Away.
I realize that I Will not Bow to these demons,
I will Crawl as long as you Give Me a Sign.
Then I realise that it's all Hopeless when I,
Discover What Lies Beneath.
I solemnly sing out, in a whisper, the Anthem of the Angels.
I can comprehend it's Lights Out in my mind,
Screaming out Dear Agony out Into the Nothing because I am Without You...

Did I ever tell you about my Phobia?
I got it while I was reading The Diary of Jane,
It took my Breath away when she wrote she loves You.
So I fell like an Evil Angel,
Swearing to hate you Until the End.
With my self-centeredness I daftly decided I should Dance With the Devil at a ******* bar.
But... Here We Are again; I'm an Unknown Soldier and you've Had Enough.
Once again, You Fight Me.

Remember that We Are not Alone.
I've felt desperate, So Cold,
When it's just a Simple Design I should Follow.
You are my Firefly as you catch me. You Break My Fall and I won't Forget It.
But Sooner or Later I'm going to Breakdown,
Slipping Away because I can't Believe.
So watch me fall like *Rain.

When you left,
The rainbows turned to ashen grey.
Stars stopped glittering off the waters.
Flowers closed themselves up in hiding.
Birds lost their love of songs, and fell silent.
My heart grew sand and become a desolate desert.

I couldn't comprehend living without you,
Without your life welded to my heart,
Earth suddenly lost seven billion people,
And I was all alone, forever.

Suddenly I could care less about moonlit nights on the beach;
Not if you weren't walking them with me.
A movie at the theater was a pointless trip;
Not if you weren't watching with me.
Life became dull, blunt, colorless,
Just a routine of numbness and apathy I couldn't endure.

The more I use it
The more I hate myself
The more I hate myself
The more I use it