Everything is wrong and nothing is right.
Yes,
Everything is wrong.
No way to understand this madness,
Light has become dark and right is left.
Bemoaning, desolate, fractured is my soul;
My spirit.
Understanding and faith have fallen asleep on me,
For my heart is but flesh, crippled by broken glass,
Broken life. Who knows where I dwell?
Whispered hauntings tickle and tease my ears,
Phantoms, shades, spectres, dance before my collapsed eyes... nobody sees, nobody hears, everyone understands but they aren't there.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

All of these raw words won't save me
These friends can't save me
I'm craving for help
Let me leave my past on a shelf
To gather dust and be forgotten
So I can allow my forgiveness
& be free at last

Your cruelty as a madman will
Not be unopposed any longer.
Sweltering swagger will be your
Undoing,
Sinking you to the bottom
Of the lake.

Ravens and rats and crows
Will feast on your heinous
Bones
Come undone and be unraveled.
Accept your punishment for crimes
Wicked and debased, born of your soul.

Here I go,
Trying to write about you again,
And my heart starts hurting,
Tears collect in the corners of my eyes,
And yet,
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing,
From unending pages in my heart,
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing,
From my flaming soul,
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing,
Reaches the pages,
Forms words,
Gets written.

Everything I try to tell you,
Gets lost in translation,
Because it's only able to be experienced,
The language of love.

I don't regret the choice I made,
The decision forced on me, to go away.

I live today off another day-old danish.
Crystallized sugar sticks to my lips for a moment,
Then it falls away, bouncing off my lap to the ground.
Like it's representative of what happened to us,
We were stuck to each other, then hit the ground. Hard.

Our vibrant red love diminished to a dull charcoal. It boiled to a vapor and was eradicated by a gust of wind.
It's almost like I went to sleep holding you in my arms, and woke up with a new face, in a different house, a totally different person.

Yet, the puddle on the ground from the rainfall earlier holds my reflection, and I have the same face I had when I was with you.

Yes, I lost her
But the pain I gained losing her
Was worth every second she was in my life
The broken heart in this chest
Holds the ghost of her tightly
And this heart
Remembers
All

When I am in my Dark Before Dawn,
Believing my falsehood that I am a Failure
Listening as Angels Fall, Breaking the Silence;
The sound is Hollow yet it brings me Close to Heaven.
Bury Me Alive is no longer my mantra;
Never Again shall The Great Divide form like this.
I taste the Ashes of Eden clinging to my lips, I remember that I am not forever Defeated.

Yet I am living in Dear Agony,
Feeling like I'm going to slowly Fade Away.
I realize that I Will not Bow to these demons,
I will Crawl as long as you Give Me a Sign.
Then I realise that it's all Hopeless when I,
Discover What Lies Beneath.
I solemnly sing out, in a whisper, the Anthem of the Angels.
I can comprehend it's Lights Out in my mind,
Screaming out Dear Agony out Into the Nothing because I am Without You...

Did I ever tell you about my Phobia?
I got it while I was reading The Diary of Jane,
It took my Breath away when she wrote she loves You.
So I fell like an Evil Angel,
Swearing to hate you Until the End.
With my self-centeredness I daftly decided I should Dance With the Devil at a ******* bar.
But... Here We Are again; I'm an Unknown Soldier and you've Had Enough.
Once again, You Fight Me.

Remember that We Are not Alone.
I've felt desperate, So Cold,
When it's just a Simple Design I should Follow.
You are my Firefly as you catch me. You Break My Fall and I won't Forget It.
But Sooner or Later I'm going to Breakdown,
Slipping Away because I can't Believe.
So watch me fall like *Rain.

You're over there and I'm over here
Separated like the night sky from the day
We go round and around following and fleeing
A desire of a union meant to be withheld

The gentle glow of your spirit and the warmth of your beauty makes you more desirable than the sun
The rays of my heart and the enchantment of my love makes me more desirable than the moon

Onwards we chase one another throughout all of time
Seasons of rain and growth pass to golden leaves and snow
All the while the stars fall asleep and we continue to run

After so much isolation,
Boarding myself away
  From the world,
I finally realized that I
  Miss you terribly so.

You are the North Star,
Set as my guiding beacon
  In the gloomy nights.
One day this wanderer will
  Find his way to your love.

just a brick out of the wall
a pebble falling down a hillside
a raindrop in the levy
a whisper of wavering trust
and im on my knees
waiting to see who will win
my faith
or
my shotgun

Carve a little more
out of my heart
I'm not yet completely
empty of love...

I took a walk today
One and a half miles
To where I work all day
Walked past a line of crows
Sitting on a telephone wire
Giving me curious looks
Because every step
Was downhill all the way
Like a metaphor of my life
I raged on the inside
Until I got to the office
And got to work

All the love in heart's blood fails,
The fierce anger becomes silent.
Despair dissipates and dissolves,
Wounds close and become scars.

Tears dry to nothingness,
Wasted away beyond cry.
Withering away from you,
Painfully walking away.

That furnace burning within has gone cold,
Shivering in the steely frosts of numbness.
I have fallen away, lost in shattered glass,
Cuts and bruises adorn my skin, scarring.

Sing me a solemn hymn, for I am unfeeling.
Open up my eyes to the radiant light, again.
I feel nothing but the agony of drowning,
The ground beneath me giving way to death.

Oh, what a sweet kiss death gives.

There's a lot left to say;
Not a lot of time to say.
I'll be dead before I'm 30,
And I wish I could stay.

I have given you all of my heart,
For I have loved you from the start.
Your eyes look through my soul,
You see your name on my heart.

I don't know when, where, or why.
I know one day we'll be together.
I don't know how long, but I'm sorry
That you'll have to live with losing me.

Settled for this setting
but wanted more
all I got
was war war war

The "righteous" stoning
breaking every bone
all their poison
sown and grown and I groan

This building  was to be holy
but this place is lonely
cold
wholly unholy

Am I at any point better
to call the church a fetter?
silent judgments
& this severed letter

You broke every dream I ever had.
All I ever wanted was you, my love...
All I ever wanted was you.
I'm happy that you're happy, I hope you'll stay happy.
But for my sake, my love...
For my sake I must say goodbye to you.

Nobody has torn me the way you have, straight to my core. Ripping and shredding every part of me that makes me, well, me.
You hurt me; I still kept loving you.
And it slowly killed me, until today.
So here I am, saying goodbye.
Goodbye...
**Goodbye

please just let these wounds bleed/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/
over and over again/
counterfeit feelings and choked out dreams/
all im asking is you let me bleed/
let me breathe/
scream for air in a silent scare/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/
tired eyes and a poured out heart/
stop living and just survive after ive died/
nonsense is my language of choice/
a voice alone in the dark corner of my/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/

A country that the world left behind
when rubber could be made by man.
The country that slaves found home.

I love this country
that I haven't set
foot on it's soil
yet.

I want to walk it's
dusty trails into
rainforests and
hidden tribes.

I want to sing with
all the vagabonds
ragamuffins &
castaways.

It's a country unknown
a frontier to discover.
A place to call home
maybe...

If you could only hear this howling desert wind,
Echoing of the four corners of this vexed heart,
Swirling about trying to latch onto your love,
But the wind has no fingers...

It continues to go, 'round and 'round,
Forming a dust devil and shredding the walls,
Cracking and separating the desperate foundation,
The blood trickles down my ribs,
And you never saw it.

I am the forgotten
I am the oppressed
I am the depressed
I am the lonely
I am the small
I am the dying
I am lost
I am sad
I am one

**I am discarded

Five times I went through the revolving door to be spat out in the same room over and over.

Once I was in the flooded maze, seeking the ramp I could see in the distance to escape, but I saw faces amongst the plants in the water.

Once I was on cliff, sitting, whilst the darkness was congregated in the gorge below.

I can no longer explain the sword in my hands or the giants I am to soon face.

All I know is Death draws the curtains in my room whilst sharpening his teeth, and I no longer know the man in the mirror.

Impossible loves are an addiction for me.
Every time love develops for a woman,
Complicated circumstances,
Assassinate it from the shadows.

Because I fall in love over a computer screen,
Fall in love with someone who's taken,
Fall in love with someone who doesn't feel the same,
Or I fall in love with someone and then mess it up.

I've continuously believed I would die without regret.
But more and more, my heart is weighed down,
By not knowing love that isn't unrequited,
By not knowing love that is close to me,
By not knowing real love face to face.

I'm the easiest impossible man to fall for.
I'm still impossible.
I still love.
I still can't.

I found my heart today;
   buried underneath smoke
   & sorrows not meant
   for this world...

Edges sharp as razors,
   cold to the touch;
   ice would be warmer
   but I'm so ******* cold.

I'm curious
And I love being curious.
But curiosity killed the cat.
Which means curiosity is a murderer.
The cat only wanted to know what things meant
So curiosity gave her shoes of cement
And threw her in the river to prevent
The ugly past of curiosity from being exposed.
Now that the cat is dead, no one will know.

Luke 10:27 NIV Bible
He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The symbol of the Cross is this simple;
A vertical commandment: Love the Lord with everything
A horizontal commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself

And when you put the vertical and horizontal together, you make a cross.
You are then to carry that cross everyday.
And you are to carry that cross to your death.
Just like Jesus did, out of love for His Father and His love for us.

picture me as nothing more
                             than a
      deflated balloon
         clinging to the walls of your heart