I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm in charge of this here pool.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
If you don't fear me then you're a fool.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'll manage as you clown around.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I am here so you won't drown.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
Blow my whistle: You behave!
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
It's your *** I'm trained to save.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
If I yell at you, don't be shocked.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
Jesus Christ! Why won't you walk?

No time to sleep.
Too broke to eat.
Into my books
I start to weep.
Said I could be
anything:
Go out! Go forth!
Chase your dreams!
Except I ****
at calculus,
and who the hell
is Romulus?
I need two jobs
to pay the rent;
An exponential
growth of debt.
They say, "go get
an internship,"
but with pre-reqs
I'm not equipped.
Need to study,
everyday--
'less I throw
my whole life away!
Volunteer!
Try something new!
Stop giving me
more things to do!
I'm up to my knees.
My waist. My chin!
Not sure if I
know how to swim.
Will this ordeal
ever desist?
Or I am going to
die like this?

No more hurt
No more pain
No more thunder
No more rain
No more friends who will just leave
No more love and
No more me

We're both walking out the door,
Both in search of something more;
Neither of us sure of what
We are meant to be looking for.

They say you know it when you find it,
So I guess I haven't found it yet.
Age old question in my head:
What if this is as good as it gets?

They keep talking about love
Like it's some universal fact---
But from what I've known of love,
It is anything but that.

So don't throw it in my face,
Don't assume I'm incomplete,
If the person in the mirror
Is the best I ever meet.

You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.

Here in my heart;
Here in my soul--
All of the parts
No one else knows.
I wish I could love you,
Have you to hold.

Have you to hold
And cherish and spoil.
Together grow old
Through all of life's toils.
But best laid plans
Are made to be foiled.

Are made to be foiled
And change, come undone.
Though my passion for you
Is second to none,
You shine best on your own, for
You are the sun.

You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.

Time is like water, for it’s always there.
It can slip through your fingers,
Or just into air.
In some places it's dense.
In others it's thin.
Not sure where it ends,
Or where it begins.
Sometimes it's nice.
Sometimes it *****.
You can have too little.
You can have too much.
Waters like time,
And time is like water,
The colder it is,
Both start to get harder.
And I’ll let you continue this rhyme:
How time is like water,
And water’s like time.

Time goes on, and things--they pass.
Nothing's ever built to last.
I will leave, and so will you.
Out with the old and in with the new!  
Just one thing before you leave--
I need to ask you, pretty please--
I know that you're moving on,
Just don't forget me when you're gone.

If love is for fools,
I want to be foolish.

If God had to go back
to work on Monday
Bet he would have invented, then rested,
More days than just Sunday.

I'm cursing my alarm--
Using, in vain, the name of his son.
Wishing that God would have rested
More days than just one.

I'm sure they have reasons.
I'm sure they sound good.
And however they preach them,
They are understood.

But I see the damage,
And I feel the loss
Inflicted by faith and justice
And their noble cause.

And I stand on the rubble
Caused by their shaky ground.
All else has crumbled,
Why haven't they fallen down?

And I stand, not silenced,
But my screams are not heard.
They are drowned out amongst
The sound of their solemn word.

And their intent's not malicious,
I know they believe,
But this is the outcome
Of the the ideas they preach.

It's not enough not to mean it.
And a sorry won't do.
We're both fighting for something,
Why am I not right too?

If you are so sure that
Your cause is better than mine,
Then by all means continue,
And, to the damage, be blind.

Or claim the loss is worth
The future you're fighting for.
And that the ends will justify
All casualties of war.

But as you rally your soldiers
By any means,
Give a big speech,
Pull on their heart strings,

Remember that it's only one story;
It's only one side.
And if you silence me now
You'll never hear mine.

A lot of questions I never asked
(you didn't either).
A lot pictures scribbled black
(no reminders).
A lot of reasons I left like that
(I'm not a fighter).
A lot of times I swore I'd never look back
(but I'm a liar).

I didn't give up!
I just didn't adjust
To the stakes getting higher;
Fuel thrown on the fire.
Now I burn away,
But am I to blame?
I'm not the one fanning the flames.
But I'm just standing, unmoving,
Not shouting or screaming.
Perhaps I'm compliant.
Perhaps I'm just dreaming.

And perhaps it is better:
Reduced into embers,
Crushed into ashes,
Scattered on the wind.
Not giving up, but
Perhaps giving in?
Say what you may:
Weak, brave.
I'm in no position
To reject your opinion,
But, if you're asking me,
I wouldn't mind being lost to the breeze.

It may be demons you're fighting,
But it's angels dying.
And people like me caught in-between.

Good intentions you're laying,
But the path you are paving?
Not sure if it leads where you think.

And I 'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm not claiming I'm right.
Not conceding that there's one or the other.

I just want you to wait,
Halt your raging crusade,
Before one thing leads to another.

So caught up in the ends
That you forgo twists and bends,
And turn a blind eye to the means.

You have something to prove,
But much more to lose.
There is time: you're still green.

And while there are battles worth picking,
And wars worth pursuing,
How you fight matters just as much as who wins.

So just take a breath,
And take stock of what's left,
Before you can't turn back because you're too far in.

Sunlight leaks through the leaves.
Silence sways upon the breeze.
Life swarms amongst the trees.  
You stand, not moving, afraid to speak.

I wrote you a poem,
But you never saw it.
All those years ago,
Folded in my pocket.
It didn't say much.
It was short and it was sweet.
It said just enough,
Explained my thoughts complete.
I can still remember
Just how it goes:
I said that I loved you,
But now you'll never know.

I meant to be cliche,
Slip it in your notebook.
Something you could read
When you were alone, but
I guess I chickened out,
Or perhaps I just forgot
Because the next thing I know
I sent it through the wash.
Couldn't read a thing.
Ruined, had to go.
I wrote that I loved you,
But now you wouldn't know.

Never was the one
To discuss my feelings.
Couldn't open up,
Reveal vulnerabilities.
So instead I wrote them down.
It seemed safe that way.
But I knew if you read it
The result would be the same.
So I never tried again,
I let it go.
Still knew that I loved you,
Relieved you'd never know.

Perhaps it was fate
Or the things I couldn't say,
But we reached that point
Where you went your separate way.
Now I only write
For myself and strangers.
Anonymity means
Very little danger.
And I understand
Why you had to go,
But I'll love you forever,
Even if you never know.

Boredom comes, consumes your mind.
You slowly watch the passing time.
You wonder if it’ll ever end,
Even though it just began.

Hello friend, how have you been?
I don't think I'll ever see you again.
And I'm not sure if I ever want to.
Ask me again in a few years time.

I know it is because of you
That I am where I am.
It is because of you that I ever learned to swim.
It is because of you I learned how to survive.
But only because you left me there to die.

But you were young;
We both were young.
So I don't blame you.
I try not to.
And yet,
I still blame you a little bit.
Maybe a lot a bit.
I am ambivalent.

I am torn between
Thanking you for
What you did for me and
Hating you for
What you did to me.

But I have been thinking about you a lot lately.
Not of you, I guess.
I don't really remember you.
But of me.
I've been thinking of me
And what I use to be.

I have changed so much
Since you left;
Because you left.
Not in anyway you would notice.
I still act the same.
And look the same.
Still the socially awkward,
A little bit hefty,
Un-styled.
Perhaps I'm unaltered. Physically at least.
But I love myself.
And that makes all the difference.

But I am also more timid.
More sheepish and reluctant
To speak up, to say things, to try things.
And that's because you scared me.
And that fear, it scarred me.

I am not sure why you left.
I have an idea. A pretty good guess.
But I never asked and you never said.
And that question, the reason, it still hangs there
Between us.
Between all these miles.
Between all this time.

Did you know that this year,
This August,
It marks the sixth year?
We were only friends for five.
In the eleven years I've known you
I have been missing you,
Hating you,
You have been a somebody I use to know
Longer than you have ever been my friend.
And that seems significant.

But maybe my math is wrong.
Maybe I shouldn't stop counting in August.
Maybe I should stop in May.
Earlier? You tell me.
When did you really leave?
Either way, the fact remains.

And I don't hate you,
Not really.
Whoever you are now is not who you were.
And your decision,
Regardless of reason,
Left me for the better.

Eventually it did, at least,
But it took a long time.
And even now, even here,
Where and when I love myself,
I love my friends,
I love my life.
Even here, even now,
I still remember you.
I still bear the scars.
And I still wonder what was wrong with me.
Why don't I ever ask what was wrong with you?

I'll never ask you for the reason.
I'll never tell you how it felt.
Maybe you already know.
Maybe you don't.
I'll never ask even though it still haunts me,
Even though you're still haunting.
Because I know you couldn't tell me straight.
Just like I couldn't tell you straight.
I can't even tell myself straight.

There is no straight line between cause and effect;
No logical conclusion from all that has happened.
You are a reason I am where I am,
That I am who I am,
And I was who I was.
But not the only one.

It is a mash up of tragedies
And comedies
And dramas
And fantasies.
It's life.
And in the grand scheme, you won't matter.
What you did won't matter.

I'm sure it doesn't matter to you.
I don't think you think of me.
I don't think you have been counting the years,
The moments.
I don't think you've cried.
I don't think you have wondered what you might say
If we ever ran into each other.
I don't think you would know to apologize.

And if I never cross your mind,
If you don't think of me when making new friends,
When meeting new people,
Or when you read a new book
And really love it (even though it's stupid),
Or when you need someone to go to a midnight premier with you,
If you don't remember me,
If you don't remember you when we were us,
If you never wonder what if,
If you never cried about what happened,
Then I don't want your apology.
Because it would be empty.

Not because you don't mean it.
Maybe you would mean it.
Maybe you have had a lot of time to reflect.
Maybe you regret it.
Maybe you don't.
But if you haven't felt what I have felt,
If your life went on with no diversion,
Then any apology you might have to offer me
Would echo in the abyss of my what if,
While my forgiveness could never echo in yours.
Because you wouldn't have one.
And the lack of somewhere to put my forgiveness
Means the apology you gave to me never took up any space.
And it will just echo a few times,
Weakening as it bounces,
Until finally dying out
With no sign it was ever there.
Is that what I was to you? An echo?

And I am sure you don't imagine that the decision you made,
That decision to leave,
Could have ever had such a long lasting ripple.
That I would ever remember
Or fixate
Or cry about it
For this long.
I don't know why you are still on my mind.
I know that I want you gone.

I want to forget,
And to get over it.
For it to be something stupid
That happened when I was young.
Like losing a friend because we didn't have the same favorite color.
But six years later
I still remember.
It still hurts not knowing why.
And it is only within the last two years
That I no longer cry.

And, as much as I wish it didn't,
It matters.
As much as I wish I didn't,
I care.

And I have thought many times about what I would say
If I ever saw you standing there:
I would first try to hide,
But if you saw me I would smile.
Probably say hi.
And if you did nothing more than smile back,
If you didn't ask me how things were or how I've been,
I wouldn't ask you and just let you walk away.
The question. The reason.
Still hanging.

And if you did ask I would tell you,
But only the basic details,
Not any of the real meaning behind them.
And I would return with polite questions of my own
And we would part with kind words.
Just like nothing ever happened at all.
The question. The reason.
Still hanging.

And I would regret not doing
Or asking
Or saying anything more.
But I would also know that, if I could do it again,
I wouldn't change a thing.
There is nothing more I need
Or want
Or seek
From you.
I don't want the truth.
Not now.

Because I don't remember you.
You are just a face and a name I put to a change,
To a time in my life I cannot forget.
And who you are now
And who you were then,
It doesn't matter in my story.
Only what you did.

And this poem
Or this letter
Or whatever this has become,
It is not for you.
It is for me.
Because your memory persists
In all my rhymes and relationships.
You persist in all the books
And poems I read
And movies I see
And friends I meet.
I think of you and cry for you and write of you,
Even though I don't want to.
Because you represent my greatest fear:
Being rejected for all that I cannot change about myself.

You are a reason I am where I am,
That I am who I am now.
And I don't forgive you.
I don't think you need me to.
Though, I thank you anyhow.
But I hope I'll never see you again.
I hope you see me,
Happy and healthy and wonderful,
And regret, even just a little bit,
That you gave up any opportunity of knowing me,
Even just a little bit.

And if by some miracle,
Or disaster,
These words ever find you,
If you ever read this,
I am sure it will confuse you.
Because I am sure you do not remember as I do.
Or hurt as I do.
And that's why I hate you.
Or rather hate the idea of you.
Because you just walked away and left me to deal with the consequences.
My world was upended.
And six years later I am not okay.
What you did was not okay.

And I don't know how to end this.
I'm not sure if I have more to say.
Or if I have said too much.
Or if what I said is all meaningless anyway.
I don't wish you well,
But I don't wish you ill.
And though I still think about you
It is not really you I am thinking about.
You are a stranger now.
You have been for a long time.
And I feel for you just as I feel for any random stranger,
Perhaps even less,
Because I actively try to feel nothing at all.

So I'll say to you now what you never said.
Not sure why, but
There was an entire conversation we never had,
Though I know how it would have ended,
What I would have said if given the chance:
Goodbye.

I’ve gone insane.
It's nothing new.
Been down this road a time or two.
But this time I've made a decision
About the health of my cognition:
I'm staying here!
No round trip!
For why would I when there is this?
A world exactly as I need it.
Everything just as I see it.

Reality made me contort
To rules and norms and other sorts.
I've bruised my limbs,
Threw out my back,
My everything is out of whack.
I'm done I tell you!
Through with it!
That box, that there, I cannot fit!

And in the past you have always
Coaxed me back to your mores.
And I would whine and ***** and moan.
Throw a tantrum. You would groan,
And you would say I must behave:
"Proper people don't act this way!"
I don't doubt this:
Your forced fed fodder,
But I have no interest in being "proper."

So I’ve gone insane.
And I’m staying!
Not because it's easy.
Not because I’m lazy.
But because, going back?
Well, that would just be crazy!

Her eyes were wet.
Her soul: a wreck.
There was no fixing her heart.
She fell to her knees,
Unable to breath,
And finally fell apart.

Sometimes when there's nothing
It's better than when there's not.

I hear them whisper, "it won't last long.”  
Won't you help me prove them wrong?

I'm the one who must stare
At the image in the mirror--
See the stranger standing there.
I'm the one who must stick
Through the thick and thin of it--
Can't leap overboard when you're the ship.
Somehow I must get along;
I may be mad. I may be wrong.
Regardless, I must soldier on.

And you have choices. As do I.
We can judge the way I try,
Manipulate and justify.
Over there you can stand,
Chastise and reprimand.
On a high horse, wield command.
But when you trot away from this,
I'll still have to live with it.
No space in this relationship.

So I will twist and bend your facts.
Moral high ground: counteract.
Reshuffle so no longer stacked.
It's not from malice or a grudge
That I change the story for the judge--
You must believe: it is out of love.
A love for myself that I must maintain--
For you can always walk away,
But, good or bad, I must remain.

I am distant.
Like the stars.
I burn slowly,
I burn dully,
You will see me only
If you take the time to stare.
For I am the kind of light you might
Not even know is there.

Cup your hands around me--
But very softly--
Leave some space,
Not too tightly.
Just enough to halt the penetrating light.
Peek between the gaps,
See if you might glimpse
The faintest glow of... something?
Just against your fingertips.

Obtained at a time of whimsical fancy.
Stuck to the ceiling/wall whilst chasing youth.
Left to be there--
Near forgotten--
Just another fixture in the room.
But when the light has grown weak,
Lying there, cannot sleep,
Mind too full to count sheep:
I'm here for you to affix your eyes.

A reminder of who you once were
And who you'll never be again
And who you are.
A symbol for... for cosmos
And questions and answers
And stars.
All within a glow.
Which, in any other circumstance,
Wouldn't even show.

This is the light I have to offer:
All that I can be.
And I can give you something simple,
Subtle magic,
But only if you stop to see.
Only when the lights are off,
The sun is gone,
The dark opaque.
Only then: you'll see my glow.
Even then: it's faint.

Not for wild celebration--
But rather quite contemplation.
A moment for yourself.
A moment to look in.
A quite moment in the dark:
That is what I am.

I cannot guide the way.
I will never light the room.
Won't break the darkness,
Lead the masses,
Assist a flowered bloom.
Please don't ask me to.
Please don't expect me to.
But, if you let me,
I can glow in the dark for you.

I look around;
I know this place
Lost in a gaze
Upon your face.
Your lips,
Your soul:
Secrets untold.
In your eyes
Shine brilliant lies.
On your cheeks
Is where you keep
The tears you've wept:
Promises unkept.
I know this pain.
I know this war.
I have lived it all before.
And looking now upon your heart
I see it ripping you apart.

But I cannot help--
Can't offer solace.
Can't reassure you'll escape flawless.
For all my battles,
All lines crossed,
This is the war that I lost.

Everybody says so.
Nobody knows though.
Some just think so.
But what the hell do they know?

I don't need to prove to him
Who and what I truly am
I don't need to prove to you
All that I know I can do

And yet,
I still want to

The ground shakes beneath my feet--
Rattling me to the core.
I reach out to grasp your hand,
But you aren't standing there any more
My eyes slip slowly open--
They've been closed for a long time.
I look around at the place we loved,
The place you left behind.

Everything has fallen down.
Everything is broken now.
And in my heart I know,
It is time for me to go.

I pack up all our memories
But am perplexed to find
That all they do is weigh me down--
Shall I leave them behind?
I try to walk, to start my journey
To somewhere far away--
But my feet refuse to move;
I'm clinging to my yesterdays.

The emptiness surrounds me.
The pain of it astounds me.
And I'm not crying because you're gone,
I'm crying because I can't move on.

Borrowed words: all to describe
Stolen moments, rented time.
Diction that I now transcribe.
A story that's not wholly mine.

In my bed I sleep; I dream.
Surrounded by walls that seem
Adequate to serve my needs.
But these walls weren't built for me.

The walls have ears--the ceiling, eyes.
Speak through our tongues--our own demise.
Nowhere is there now to hide,
For I (and you) am a loyal spy.

Woven into fabric rendered
To fulfill some view of splendor.
But no one here can remember
Why we stitch torn cloth together.

Too short, too tall, too weak to handle;
Must reinforce to insure it's ample.
But how can I shatter what is fragile
If I am what I wish to dismantle?

There's a story on my lips--
Unwarranted, can't let it slip.
On my pen I'll cling, I'll grip;
Bleed my heart through fingertips.

Ink stained page, a wounded soul;
Fine point to slay my self control.
Carnage I could never show
To those I have come to know.

This is a side meant only for
Fellow soldiers out at war.
Faceless under armor worn--
But words we jab revealing more.

You stand in the darkness of the shadow cast
By the bright light of the future as it collides with the past.
You can't peek around to determine the source--
And here in the present they define your course.

I never did fit very well;
Don't ask me why, it's hard to tell.
Actually, that was a lie.
I could explain the reasons why...
But the story's very long
And I tend to go on and on,
Over explaining everything,
The cause and effect each aspect brings.
And so long will my tale get
That you'd probably miss the point of it.
But at the end of the day, all said and done
I wasn't liked by anyone.
Okay, I have a tendency
To speak in hyperboles:
Perhaps a few didn't mind
My presence from time to time.
But overall, in the grand scheme,
I wasn't a favorite amongst the team.
A little strange. A little odd.
Introversion my great flaw.
Or at least I believed
That the problem laid in me.
But only now that I have gone
Have I thought that, maybe, everyone was wrong.

This poem is short; Not much to say.
Yet still the need to say something anyway.

Lost in the fictions I didn't write myself;
Stuck in the stories up on the shelf.
Exploring the spaces between the lines,
The images swirling inside my mind.
And it's an addiction, the emotions compelled:
I'm wrapped up, consumed by their endless spell.
Please never rescue me from my delusions,
And may these tales never reach their conclusions.
If the fantasy realms and other dimensions
Cease to be, I would disappear with them.
For I am a composite of fandom and myth,
Without which, I'm sure, I couldn't exist.
So leave me to drown here in legends and fables,
The sagas and series-- all lands with no equals.
The characters conjured: imaginative haunts--
But the feelings they give are the best that I've got.
Don't save this damsel for I'm not distressed;
Just leave me to wander through some fictional quest.
If I cannot fit in the world that's created
Then leave me to die here between the pages.

Scratching scribbles across the page:
Meaningless if rearranged.

Meaningless scribbles scratched,
Until meaning we attach.

Scribbled meaning scratched in stone;
Whatever it means, culture will erode.

As my mind begins to wonder,
I am compelled to wander;
Going ever further,
The distance ever farther.

A Rose by any other name is said to still retain its scent:
A sweet perfume that fills the room to all of our content.
And though this little musing contains poetic form,
When truth is told, I am not sold, for I know there to be thorns.
And if known instead for these pricking fiends
--and not its aromatic petals--
Then perhaps the rose would not be love's flowered vessel.
And the fragrant sweetness we attribute to its structure
Would cease to be a welcomed whiff and the Rose would lose its luster.

You thought he'd listen,
But he won't.
You thought you'd care,
But you don't.

In a story never ending
little upsets aren't upending

You thought it was forever,
But it wasn't.
You thought it mattered,
But it doesn't.

Stare at my feet--
Bite my tongue;
Habits learned when I was young.

Smile more--
Sit up taller;
Lessons taught when I was smaller.

Calm down--
Don't be so wild;
Words used to tame the child.

A melancholy saunter, future fresh within its grave
Knowing that the darkness is something you must brave
The unknown is daunting, but beckons nonetheless
Ignoring all the wisdom that claims that it knows best

You've tried the paths well traveled, but they ended all the same
In heartbreak and ruin, and they say you are to blame
So sure of the destination that it's the only road they paved
But you can't find your happiness on the map they made

You're frightened and shaking and standing on the edge
You're facing the void and its uncharted depths
But you will run forward because you can't crawl back
And into the darkness you wander at last

The subtle buzz of recognition,
High pitched squeak of a hello.
The gentle hum of conversation,
Small talk with friends you barely know.

A small acquaintance fills the silence,
Keeps you from fiddling on your phone.
But it breeds only temporary compliance,
And I would rather sit alone.

Destroyed. Distraught.
I've cried. A lot.
You're fine. I'm not.

His eyes are locked on you,
Daring you to flinch.
Everybody's starring,
But you cannot give an inch.
Everything you have--
Everything that matters--
Has  been melted down and made
Into your armor, now battered.
The fight for him is just for sport,
A way to gain some scraps of honor.
The fight for you is for a life--
Consequences far more dire.
You cannot turn and run,
There is no option of surrender.
The loss of souls or souls conserved
Won't be how victory is measured.
Neither choice would end this fight.
You're fighting everyday.
And ending confrontation
Won't take that fight away.
The odds are stacked against you,
You'll die before the fighting's done.
But you will stand your ground
Even if you're the only one.
For it wasn't choice that put you here
But rather unlucky birth.
And this fight will take your life
Even if that's not what it's worth.

I can't speak of tender touch--
Hands sweep, lips brush--
Ever closer, that's close enough.

I can't describe you close to me--
Sweet breath, buckled knees--
No further, stop please.

I can feel the tempting sway—
Blushing cheeks, flirtatious gaze—
Wanting you, just not that way.

Please love me regardless?

Door slams-- it wasn't me
Echo of a memory

Haunted past means haunted home
Down the halls the spirits roam

Shadows dance across these walls
Screams running down the halls

Demons whisper in my head
Monsters play beneath the bed

Skeletons in closets
Make for restless ghosts
To all my long lost nightmares
I am now playing host

Darkness, now, taking flight--
Scattered by the coming light.
Frightened by the rising sun,
Watching as the shadows run.

Secrets stumble off your lips--
Into patient ears your hushed words slip.
It starts with friends but ends with foes,
Watching as the secrets go.

Simple solids breed fearful air--
Our own breath blown into terror.
Onto the ignorant the facade stumbles,
Watching as the whole world crumbles.

We are spinning!
Spinning!
Spinning!
Yes, we are tumbling down.

It is thrilling!
Thrilling!
Thrilling!
Up until we hit the ground.

Quantified to the last--
Every freckle, each fluttering lash.

To the debt of necessity I am tethered;
I can't afford life's priceless treasures.

Calculated: now are numbered
Even that which philosophy wonders.

My love, my life, my ambivalent faith:
Measured out to the hundredths place.

Reproduced for mass consumption--
Trivialized by the deduction.

Weigh my heart, buy my soul,
Celebrate the dream you stole.

What words would I have written then
If my fate had lied within?
Stories remembered? Studied lines?
Or eroded by passing time?

You had secrets you'd been hiding,
But when the blood started spilling
So did they.

You always had an argument,
But when it erupted in discontent,
You had nothing to say.

And you hide behind your innocence,
Blame it all on ignorance
So that you'd be safe.

But in the concoction you'd been brewing,
It was problems you were stirring;
You just couldn't let them lay.

So go ahead and sleep soundly,
But this war that is surrounding
Will eventually make you pay.

Being swept off my feet--taken by surprise.
It won't be the thrill, just the look in your eyes.
Spontaneous adventure, you have carefully planned.
It won't be the trip, just that moment hand in hand.
Pouring rain--a cliched kiss.
But when you're gone, that's not what I'll miss.

It'll be the pecks on my lips as we're hurried to leave.
The quite moments spent listening to you breathe.
The easy silence.
Effortless talk.
Meaningless laughter.
Aimless walks.

The grand gestures make it fun and wild--
But the little things make it all worth while.
If you ever grow wary--if we ever part--
It'll be losing the simple bits that will break my heart.