only I who has the right
to cry myself wearing your worn-out shirt
to drink away our sweet memories
to isolate my heart from happiness

only you who has the right
to open up my deepest part
to kiss away my sorrow
to return and fill in my hollow

I have a consuming flame
Inside me that keeps on
Burning things that cannot burn
And I have a thing about
Standing on the edge of a cliff
And shout at the storm
Until I slipped and fell
Stupid?
It could be my middle name
At least I tried
To melt your walls
And have faith
On the thread of
False hopes you spun

the thing is,
I drive far away
just to see the road signs
pleaded me to return
the bumps on the street
forced me to stop
the turns I took further
lead me to dead-ends
eventually, I hit reverse
and come back home
to where you are

Fireworks doesn't captivate me
It lost its colors
Rain doesn't comfort me
It brings cold
Clown doesn't interest me
It doesn't look funny

And I

I don't fit you
Or
It's the other way around

Like east and west
Like ocean and city
Like life and death

We were told not to be together
And neither of us even bother
To work it out nor try harder
Yet, we simply surrender

rather than being told that I am strong
or getting angry at because I am weak
I want you to simply reach out your hand
and say "trust me, I can save you"

With each caress of my hand
I built you a castle from the sand
then she came like great wave
one hit, and you made your wave

My conclusion is
if you ever think
that you're a sane person
then you have never been in love
at all

he blinked, he smiled, he looked like the sky
so blue, yet new, the highest intensity of hue
I lived inside the blackest silence for so long
now everything lights up like a love song

baby, I never knew I could
feel happy like I don't know pain
and I never knew that it's possible
to dream while I'm waking up

all I know is I must let this go
—this illusion of every-us
in order to save myself
from you

he said, "let's keep this between us"
while pulling my hair, kissing my tired lips
both my eyesight and judgment are clouded
by his handsome look, facing one breathe away
but the night is changing, so does his mind
when the morning knocks, I was alone
laying on my bed, missing his gentle hug
with our secret Sunday

"so, when can I see you again?"

I immediately answer in my head;
"I hope to hold you still like this
for the rest of my funny life
just so you can see me all the time"

yet, I took a breath and said;
"after working hour tomorrow
would be very nice"

sekarang ini, aku itu sedang bermimpi
ada sebuah wajah yang namanya aku amini
ditiap bisikan doa kepada bulan dan matahari
hingga seluruh semesta berhenti bernyanyi

aku bahagia lagi—kan sekarang ini ada kamu
yang mencintai aku tiap hari Minggu
jika benar ini mimpi, jangan bangunkan aku
karena aku butuh lebih banyak waktu

untuk memeluk tubuhmu lebih lama
untuk buatmu jatuh cinta dihari lainnya
dan
untuk membawa kamu ikut jadi nyata

My oh my
The act of erasing you from my phone
is keeping both my cheeks wet

you sound like an idiot
when you said
you want to have me
all for yourself
because I have already
belonged to you
for so long ago
haven't I?

On that fullmoon
our body heat rose
above the ceiling
and every voice
turned into moaning
as my saliva left trails
from your lips
to your ears
while you were busy
rocking your hips
onto mine

I saw her—your woman
She is effortlessly beautiful

She has this glowing skin
She has her youth
She even makes you smile
better than I could

I can never have what she has

But

I have lips that touches yours
the very last time
before you fall asleep

I have skin that warmth yours
when you're wandering
inside your sweet dreams

I have voice that you first hear
when the sun sings
after the moon sinks

I have love that you call home
and never forget to return to
cause it belongs to you

And she
She can never have what I have

she is petite—a doll-like-pretty
they look great together; she and him
but I don't envy her, in fact, I pity her
cause she got to let go of him;
a guy who has a kind heart,
cannot be found in every dinasty,
speaks the truth so dearly,
kisses gently—hugs tightly,
free and sets me free

though he's not mine and never will be,
but I'm content enough knowing
that the girl who gets to share
his Sundays with is me

And I cannot resist you
And you cannot keep your hands off me
And I keep on coming back
And you keep on opening your heart
And my ears always listen
And your mouth always speaks
And I count every lies
And you made all those lies
And I understand that you love me
And you say "I love you" in every way
And I know
And you know
Even they know
*But she doesn't know

he kneels down before me
with ring on his hand
and vow in his heart
then my lips replies
"I will"

She was everything but stupid
Even now, she's not stupid
She's just falling in love
with the wrong guy

draw me a silver line
leave me a clear sign
for someday in the future time
I have a chance to call you mine

how can I not
fall for him
when his charm
illuminates
the sweetest sin;
even the angels
change their minds

I wonder if you're reading this right now
how I am truly sorry about the pain
we caused you out of our selfishness
but he keeps the air I'm breathing
I need it, so does he, cause I keep his
have you ever realize that his heart
is always mine to hold and not yours?
you should understand that I was just
taking back what is mine in the first place
I hope you can finally cope soon
because I've been in your shoes

I wonder what you're thinking right now
and
I'd love to know head to head from you

We both promised ourselves
—drinking our blood,
tying up the knot
in the name of sisterhood
but you ***** them
like it was a bad food

each skin friction he made with mine
are leaving goosebumps on places
I never even knew existed before
and all creatures on earth disappearing;
he's all I can hear, he's all I can feel
he's all I know and I found myself
the moment I found him

Is it too big of a favor
to rewind the time

when we were together
in your dark room
with your long stare
deep into my soul
as you sit on the cold floor
with your heart open
while I wore your t-shirt
and listening to the silence
then you circled your arms
around my hips
and use my tummy
for a pillow

and play that one moment
on repeat
in slow motion

this morning I woke up to déjà vu
—I was here before and I knew you
you’re that guy who twists the truth
who secretly falls for me like I do
oh I just love how you’re always too close
yet too far away to make me had enough of
wait, did I just say that I’m in love with you?
this is bad and will hurt as **** but I know I do
but you will deny me, that’s so typical of you
since you’re the sly fox
and I’m just a girl who’s addicted to untruth

If you're a poem
I wouldn't know
How to use
Words nor lines
If you're a lie
I'd lie
In every single talk
And you'd be my favorite
But that's just what
I am to you;
False words
And pretty, pretty lies

I quit smoking two months ago
because the smoke I inhale
smells a lot like your skin
and the taste of nicotine
got me addicted as much
as your tender lips
I quit smoking two months ago
not because I wanted to
but because I had to
move on from you

'Note this, my favorite gal is you'

And I know if I fall for your line
I will only create another big mistake
but who cares?
if it is a mistake then you'll be my mistake
so basically, you're mine in that state

cheers to
the new open doors
the start overs
and the forgiveness
we will be facing
as we dance along
the beautiful storm
with music inside us

Some days he puts off the torch
And pushes me down the pit
Where I cannot seem to
Reach out for him
Then he runs so fast
When I am off guard and
All I can do is
Nothing
But to stay still
~
Some days he opens his eyelids
And shows me his heart
Like curtain in the morning
Sheds sunrise to the dark
Then he let me left my lipstick stain
On his cheek, creating chain
As we dance on "What If" refrain
Where the bad days
Don't make sense
And the good ones
Can never end

the more I push, the more I pull
I play smart but you made me a fool
the more I swim, the deeper I drown
I lost myself but it's you I found

falling hurts but it's the best part
you destroyed my walls with a single dart
baby won't you just walk away
before I beg and bribe you to stay?

dear Lord, I do not want to love again
but somehow with you, it quitely begins

I love him so much that
when he touches my skin
he makes me want to dance
when I'm behind him
I think of how I'd hold him
when he's in front of me
I wish I'd taste his soft lips
and when he's away
I write hundred of sonnets
about his haunting eyes

Don't you smell that?
That's my parfume
he's wearing

Don't you taste that?
That's my lipstick
you're kissing

Don't you know that?
I am that woman
he never stops loving

Curling up inside my blanket tonight
realizes me that I'm lacking something
—something sweet like a memory
of the first air you gasp after a dive
one simple moment to let you know
that you are now safe and sound
exactly the same feeling I get
when I buried myself inside your hug
and allowed your soul touches mine

usually I speak the love words loudly
so loud, those words could create poetry
so loud, they'll boil the blood in your vein
so loud, your chest might feel so much pain

until I met him and I fell in love with him

he's everything still
so quite but perfectly clear
then I learn to declare love in silence
with only stars as our audience

and this is so dangerous because
he is the moon and I'm a mortal girl
who landed on top of him
foolishly taking her space mask off
just to kiss his birthday cake lips
and die

there are a few specifications I need
to make all the things in my life working
like a pair of hands to do stuffs
a pair of feet to move to places
a pair of eyes to see both sides
a pair of ears to listen to advice
one mouth to speak my mind
one nose to savor the air
and one heart to keep me alive
I need those
specifically yours

he looks at me
like he never see
anything else
that ever looked
more beautiful
than I do before
and I stare back at him
like he holds the universe
hiding within his cells
and I bite my tongue
cause no word can be speak
to explain that he is more,
more than the universe I lived in

forgive me for wanting
to pause the ticking clock
and simply dance with you
over the silence of our kiss

do you know why
I'd be the biggest fool
if I ever let you slip away?
cause you're that person
who can make the starlight
dances on your skin
even in the darkest night

One night
Your scent whispers
From the scarf you left
Then one day
Your voice appears
A lot like a fantasy
Later on
Your touch vividly
Caressing my reality
At midnight
In your absence
I crave for you
More than
I ever thought
Humanly possible

oh
not one thing
ever looked
so beautiful
in the right
time
cause
I could swear
I've stopped
looking
when
these eyes
found
you

Adding more chapter
to a storybook that has ended
won't make it gets better
cause a legendary story
don't repeat itself
nor get extended
I supposed that is why
there is no Titanic 2, right?

He pulls me like sin
Holds my curves like magnet
Soothes my worries like water
Smiles at me like light
Kisses my lips like red
Laughs with me like babies
Touches my skin like silk
And smells—oh, that sweet
Sour and bitter scent
—like strawberries

Leave me all at once
so that I'd stop
swallowing your razor blade hopes,
staring at the despicable truth,
and screaming for help inside your ignorance

cause I tried so hard
searching you out
by closing my eyes
but you're still the one
—and the only person
I am seeing
and that is how I know
I had failed
the attempt
to un-love you

At times I'd like to stare to strangers eyes
wondering what creates their tears of joy
who scattered their hearts to dust
why they see red on their own fists
where did they got those scars or tattoos
but the one substantial thing I'd like to know
is how to make them smile with warmth
inside their chest that will lightening up mine

you would have been holding me
to sleep tonight in your orange room
if what Jeremy Passion said in his song
were truly meant for me

I've been fighting with my heart
Woah you have no idea
How upset it is to me
When I said,
'You shall stop loving him'
It replies,
'Hellooww how could I?'
Then it keeps whining like,
'*****, you better call him now
Or Imma keep producing
Tears and damaging your brain
With memories of him'
But it doesn't understand that
If I do it, you'll be hurting too