They dance through my dreams
Golden rounds, silvery circles
Endlessly turning
Infinity untwisted
A memory, a potential
Promises unfinished
Ours did not match;
The first sign.

Scream and shout, kick the ground, fall apart crying
I hate the world, it isn't fair, hold my heart from breaking
My life stretches way too far into a fog I can't see through
No one's fault you don't understand but you don't have a clue
Stop thinking stop thinking my mind keeps on racing
Not words it's all emotions like I just can't stop feeling
Endless accusations left unformed drive me insane
I'll be alright but this moment now all I think about is pain

It’s a fact that I love him to pieces
And I’ve fallen apart many times before
Every day I fear I’m going to lose him
It’s a terror that strikes me to the core
I feel like there’s no time to be upset
If something’s wrong I actively ignore it
For if I were to lose him tomorrow
God, well, honestly, I’d feel like ****
But all this anger has nowhere to go
And any irritation further fans the flames
I hate this, I never wanted to feel this way
All these thoughts make me feel ashamed

Hang a star on the ceiling, my love
To protect you during the daylight
Whenever the sky closes its eyes
It’s not perfect, I understand
But darling, nothing ever is
Hold onto what you can

Starts with a burst of pure light
Flares up and away like a laugh
Coalesce into one, a sphere perfectly rounded
Essence of one captured in crystal form
I watch mine flicker, a candle in an open window
Darker like the clouds hiding the sun
Pray to the world I’ll flare up again or
I’ll slowly be consumed by my sins

Feel free
Message me
Anything you need
I smile mechanically
You know better, see
I never take opportunities

A slow burning fuse
Watch the spark move up the rope
I could interrupt any time I wish
Or maybe I'm just flattering myself in hopes
That I won't lose control
That in this I have a choice
So many thoughts and emotions
But I can't seem to find my voice

I forget that the sun shines every day
In a part of the world somewhere
I’ve lived in the gray for so ******* long
The nothingness is more than I can bear
It’s rained so much I wonder if I’m drowning
I can’t seem to climb out and save myself
Every breath takes more effort than I have
All I’m good for is gathering dust on a shelf
But when the skies clear and the day glows
I can blossom and flourish like a flower
I will be bright and beautiful
I can be my own power

It’s driving by the shoreline after dark
Marveling at city lights across the way
It’s waking up early for college classes
And taking a nap together later that day
It’s being held in your arms at a concert
With tickets we convinced the other to buy
It’s sitting on the floor of my room
Unwilling to tell each other goodbye
I have a request to make of you, my love
I know I can’t change what will be
I hate to let you go, but I’ll be right here
Please keep coming back to me

Christmas used to be
So much planning, for me
Piles of presents under the tree
Singing carols by the piano with glee
Excitement months too early
Now, as I come home for the day
Too tired to even consider to play
Happy just listening for the bells of the sleigh
We’ll light the fire, and beside it we’ll lay
Together tonight, despite hearts far away

if i can act like i'm okay, am i?
everything i say can turn into a lie
of course i'm good, it's all fine
where do i have to draw the line
well if i'm really being honest:
(after all i made that promise)
i really want to get better but i'm so tired
i don't want to be awake but my mind's on fire

I count one, two, three and I can't believe
We've made it this far; still such a dream
Somehow, you treat me like a queen
Look, my love, at what we've achieved:
Moments together we can treasure
Conversations I'll always remember
All of the love and all of the laughter
The closest I've been to "happily ever after"

Skinny, papery, wrinkled, and pale
Running a rosary through her fingers
The air shimmers, balmy ocean waves that never cease
From the shaded marble step, I ask:
“Why do you suffer rituals out in the scorching sun?”
“My child, that’s how it’s always been done.”

My love, I see you walk in rays of light
Crowned in gold, a wondrous sight
You hold me close and my heart takes flight

i'm a victim, no, a demon
poisoned by my own hand
can't rest from the voices
and high are their demands
so i live in ups and downs
guided by the whispers
i know i do this to myself
but i can't always remember

The game is unbalanced
Everyone has a definition of “fair play”
We all try to fight for our own causes
Causing chaos and disarray
Who’s right? Who’s wrong?
Apparently it’s whoever out of all of us
Is the strong one
And the rest cry victim, feel outdone
No one likes to be ostracized, left outside
So let’s all write a disclaimer: we tried
Wear it across our foreheads as a banner
So no one asks and causes us to stammer
It’s you against the world, isn’t it?
Go ahead, scream like you mean it
You hope someone will hear and save you
But if you aren’t willing to make it happen
You’ll never fix this point of view
You’ll never be able to win

Life goes on, scars fade
They can't hurt me now
They're out of my reach
And that's worse, somehow

Walk a tightrope as thin as a wire
Practice until your feet are on fire
Perform amazing feats, hear the applause
Smile and feel proud your life has a cause
Everyday I reach for the same thrill
Without it I just can’t feel fulfilled
If I’m not making people around me happy
Then what’s the point? My heart is empty

I feel the world drag me down
Then it sends me flying
I cycle between the highs and lows
And can't fall asleep without crying

Sometimes I am fire
Other times my mind is dark gray
Hope is a match I can't hold onto
I'm begging the light to stay

I wanted to sit down, write you a love letter
But how does one word colors and melodies
Your beautiful smile makes every day better
I treasure every single shared memory
We've been through so many ups and downs
Over years we laugh and talk and argue
But when all has been said and done
You know I really love you

"Valentine" means worthy, strong, and powerful
I mean every word written above
I'll never deserve you but I hope you'll be mine
From my heart to yours, my love

It's a fist clenched around my heart
Waiting for the doctor to show
Alone in the gray monotonous room
Sitting here til they tell me it's closed
Home is welcome but empty
And I'm back the very next day
Passing the time and hoping maybe
Tomorrow I can be on my way

Sky overcast, gray
Will the sun come out to play?
Let's dance in the rain

to live without hate in your heart
with nothing inside to tear you apart
to speak thoughts aloud, not bound by fear
not wishing all the time you'd just disappear

I can't remember exactly what you look like
But the memories of what you did remain
The scars you gave me may have faded
But I still remember the pain

I can't give words to clear the chaos
Facts from emotions are hard to define
I live in fear that you'll be in my life again
You're out of sight but not out of mind

People tell me that time heals most anything
So give it time, they insist, and it'll be okay
I've been waiting but it's been nearly three years
I just want all these thoughts to go away

A childish accusation, "You promised"
Before fear's taught kids are bolder
Denied the right, who can I trust
And I can't say, now that I'm older

Growing up we all learn how to lie
Despite all our parents' trying
It's become my second nature, why?
I've found it's easier than fighting

When the world demands a lot of you
You learn to adjust or fall apart
Rarely is the desired answer true
Tangled in lies, where do I start

I know I can do better and I should
A refrain throughout our heads
Binding words, be a kid that's "good"
Follow through all that's been said

My master is fear, I've learned my lesson
Lying seems to be an act that's kind
We tend to try to have good intentions
"How are you today?" "I'm doing fine."