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Tina RSH Oct 2018
At 4:40 am I sat alone in my bed
and embraced the thought of you
that rapped me gently across the knuckles
The night seemed distant now
and the dawn took years to arrive
The dawn of a new gloom
The dawn of my end
The black hand of sorrow
That pulled me out of each dream I made
to keep even the faintest smell of you alive
You weren't there to hold my hand
or to be sorry.
At 4:40 am I thought of you much
and the front wall swallowed my sobs
love was the last item on my shelf
It was coagulated and nasty now
I picked it up and placed it by the door
Perhaps the approaching sun could burn away
all the impurity, injustice and adulteration
of what we held in high esteem
and kept sacred with our illusory reasoning.
the thought of you faltered into a tear
and I knew our story was at an end.
Goodbye my lover.
Tina RSH Jul 2017
Eve! 
Alas my vicious mind overrides this place
Of sheltered freedom and tacit grace 
The magnificence of moments each passed by, poor
As a holy tidal wave,depositing debris on the shore 
I stood aimless mourning over the bygone landscape
That in my head crumpled and slipped through a gape
A foremost scar on my veins, coloured black 
An outraged bull, ready to make an attack back
Eve! O Eve! 
Here I dwell so secret on a perished soul, withdrawn 
From the miraculous bliss I found moments after dawn. 
The Elixir of bliss slipped through my fingers to fade. 
My weakened feet have no more road to wade. 
Eve! O dear Eve! 
Cherish this perished soul with your divinest love 
Seal my eyes, heal my wound, and let me hover above. 
As shiny stars are the jewel of night sky,
Give your love to make my heart glorify.
© Tina RSH
Eve is a representation of God, or the inner self.
Tina RSH Mar 2019
If life were a hundred years
I'd lose my name at the hand of time
and travel to the end of the world in advance
at the scoching border of hell I'd dance
to the delusion I was fooled to suffer
and glance back once more
to see I cannot ******* lover's lips
or let the majesty of a butterfly
steal my attention for eternity
I'd watch the gloom strip me off my shell
close to the border of hell
and ask if all along it were mine
can I then succumb in peace
break a ******* with God
and deride the masquerade he hosted?
that of which he always boasted!
But time and time again puts me to bed
with a mouthful of uncertainty
about the end of this entity
which I believed was me
or whatever me could be
life can embarrass time
and cease to age inside the corpse of years
or wilt the petals of a feisty poppy
That is the burden of those whom life endears
For that I sit here and wonder
why indeed did time go under?
Tina RSH Jul 2017
Intrude my silence and set free
A dozen words never spoken with tongue 
Written on a heart harassed by sudden pain
My eyes never unwind from flowing rivers 
And certified facts prove this noble insanity
This parallel insomnia 
Residing in my head 
Clasping my throat 
With merciless force
Where do I begin? 
The nasty smell of drained blood
On my left arm 
the expanding ache 
In the pit of my stomach 
Or the numbness coming to freeze
Even my fingertips 
I am quite so done 
With the starry nights I enjoyed the least 
The rainy evenings I spent dreaming 
Of a sunny Sunday 
To awake with a soulful smile 
That never came...
I am done 
With the loveless parties 
I faked to take part in 
And every bit of the truth 
I swallowed 
Now I am done with this self
That was never mine.
4:49 am 
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Mar 2020
I wandered the world
and I wandered with no aim
Everybody's colours changed
but yours remained the same
Their fleeting sparks of joy
was the pure love they used to claim
You thrived for a simple sanctuary
while they all fought for fame
they took the award
and we took the blame
An award for playing pretend
A blame for having no shame
It seems we lose every time
but we can always play again
play like the wounds have healed
play like it'll be a fair game
And in a room full of kings and queens
I would still call out your name
To tell you the world hasn't seen your kind
stay the same! Stay the same...
I was struggling with bouts of depression the other night, almost giving up. But a friend sent me a poem addressing a powerful woman whose love was omnipresent and I knew the universe wanted me to read it.

I wrote this piece for Enrique tonight and he told me afterwards that he'd lost his job and that he was hopeless..and how this poem helped him carry on.
Sometimes I think we're just vessels.
Tina RSH Sep 2017
Is it just an image? Just a dream? 
Trespassing my heavy eyelids in the dead of night.
Need my poor sight dazzling light? 
Need my pupils a gentle breath, 
To blow away some possible dust
A layer of lie beneath or upon the truth 
They claim to observe with full might? 
Have I let slip so sudden this world 
Runs anti-clockwise in the region of my head? 
Have I foretold a smile full of tears 
Or a summer sky turning velvet red? 
Which child of earth has seen
The horror I battle day after day? 
Which reckless  knight or gallant templar  
Has reached the law of come what may? 
this war goes on through bugle calls and snare drums. 
On a battlefield, where I die and unbecome..
Tina RSH Jul 2017
Behold! My sorrow storms straight through daylight.
And not on the last stroke of midnight, when demons sleep.
To entangle me with its invisible ropes, ropes tugging me tight.
Twisted, Swooned, crushed, haemorrhaging deep.

Labyrinth of shame, heralding my doom, looming ever close.
Earning waste with each second more, till sudden salvation.
That scarce shall cast upon my dim verse hugely verbose.
Inside this too stagnant a mind flows nothing but indignation.

Malaise made manifest with the profusrness of a poet's pain,
Entitled as imbalanced brain, a fresh sign of insanity.
Idle hours thrown away like confetti and time spent in vain
Narrow words written by young hands but a spirit of mundanity.

Morbid fascinations of mine with this lack of hope.
End so soon as I leave this world, unable to cope.
Tina RSH Nov 2018
Spoonfed a mouthful of soft poems,
the pangs of unthanked love numb your heart
to fortify against the abrupt attack of truth;
That one feels is a weakness,
or if he does speak of it is a fool!
This is but an unhinging maze
to soak the mind in waves of guilt and despair
stagnant as a melted nightmare...
And thus, the heart believes it
only to begin to freeze forever more.
It is odd that I'm not as much inspired by my light side as I am with the dark one. Have a read and  find out..
Tina RSH Dec 2018
There came a tapping on my eyes
A muffled voice, an urgent plea
to wash away the tranquil ignorance
and replace it with turbulant daze
O the effect it had on me..
Had the world gone black
for two days or three
I would've thrown a late night party
invited every star one could see
in the ***** of sky, at the hand of moon
and their shiny reflections in the black sea
But that my grey dreams come true
in the wake of sun's ascent
to turn its golden rays to dead ashes
leaves me without a single clue
if there's a dawn to marry the end of this night
If it's what I'll always be through..
Does it ever sound like the darkness is never-ending?
Tina RSH Mar 2018
The story goes: A sad poet sat
beside the unpolished fireplace
immersed in the dying fire
and began with would be heres.
Such tragedy choked me when you set off toward the horizon.
And I knelt gasping, gasping for breath.
Begging for a last look, before death.
I burned in depth.
You spat flowers, moving away
giving a shadowed smile
And an empty love letter.
I dearly wished for better.
There was no better.
There however, was an end
to the rise and fall of my chest
I bet you thought it was for the best.
Twenty years of solemn dysfunction
and morbid melancholy.
Darling! Listen to my ifs and buts
silly and dramatic cuts through my throat.
Believe! For a moment watch close
my insane heart would still beat
if you were here, by the fireplace now
I could make a perpetual vow
to speak your soft heart only.
I hate confessing I feel broken and lonely.
But I'd do anything
And I'd do everything for you.
to come back and do
all I thought impossible
but possible with you..
Tina RSH Oct 2018
Old friend, we lost it all!
We went our separate ways
While rain pummeled the rooftop
and mellow autumn wind caressed a poppy's cheek.
We drove home together, but felt far apart.
As if we never knew each other..
And the bond between us severed
As the lumberjack uproots a tree,
Merciless and mandatory!
Old friend,
Although I still hear the rustling of paper from your chamber,
Your heartbeat seems to have stopped
And your congealed blood reeks of hostility.
I sit here, hiding my head in my bony hands
Which you would hold as we fell asleep.
We were children at the time
innocent and whimsical.
We were captives of our own little kingdom
Funny how our fortress tumbled down
and we chained ourselves to the ruins that remained..
This is not how our stroy should have gone.
Tell me if there's anything I can do other than cry, miss those days
or pour my heart into a poem you'll never read...
This is among the very first poems I ever wrote..
Tina RSH Sep 2018
Pulling at opposite ends of a rope
we put in our best effort
we both won the contest, darling.
and bragged of our power.
I have nothing left at this hour
Except for a rope around my neck
made out of your honeyed voice
confessing love over and over again
Alas! choking is not much of a choice
a dancing derelict dream in my eyes
along with each cell in my heart dies
Poor wretched foolish ghost of mine
now revolves around your house
like a twitching old mouse
to make sure you drink your tea
Every afternoon, but you
Still, unbothered and lowkey
As if the wind took away some dust
off street
And I, gone, with bones and meat.
At some point I regret stepping out of my solitude..
Tina RSH Mar 2020
Words were worthless when our whimsical wishes got vanquished by distance, draining dreams of us together. Darling! We didn't dare draw an inch closer. Catastrophe came, crushing us to the core..Corona! Corona! Consistent callous company for months on and on flying far in fantasy, fingers flailing and fumbling for a faint trace of reality in which you were absent, folly! The agony and ache in every atom ate away at me as acid on iron. Ah! La! Love again, loses my lavish language, leaving lips ludicrous, lying, loquacious and the tongue tied, terrified to tell the truth..Darling! Dare me to delude you for I am desperate to devour you in this dream; Delusion! Delusion! Bare bitter bold brutality crushing the dream, crashing hard in our core..corona! Corona! Dear! despite it all, don't doubt the divine dream, don't doubt that I love..
This is almost a letter to my lover, but also a note to the whole world and particularly those having to suffer the forceful distance.
Tina RSH Jan 2020
Clink clink clink! Out thou comest little genie
Broken is mine heart, not one time but three
So grant me three a wish and may that be
Fly aloft and take these ****** tears with thee


Mine keen eyes captured by the hands of doom
guts wrenched in light of mephistopheles' gloom
A dark solo rider in hue of a hero assumed
Beguiled the young heart is now encaged, entombed

Lo! Take the glass heart and travel afar
Drop it where hungry vultures and eagles are
Pour my light into his blackness like a shining star
Pour it to the end of his every remaining cigar

seek me then in the lands of madness within
Resting as the corpse bride I always have been
Tina RSH Oct 2020
600 feet up in the air with you
Battling gravity tooth and nail
"No strings attached” you say

While my soul has already nestled  
in your arms
There comes an incoherent yell  
Of an old friend from beneath
Her alarm attempts to tickle my ears
Yet I’m held to your heart too close
To care for anything
Other than the melody of your pulse
"No strings attached” you say.

Aye- agreed!  
What holds us together is a chain
you must know.  
Looping itself around us both  
With each twist we take
In your whirlwind of passion
Every tiny particle of space removed
Locking us together- as one
“No strings attached”  

You murmur into a deaf ear
Hurling my soul out of your lap  
At long last.

600 feet downwards I’m shot
Like a bullet out of a ruthless gun
Landing in wrong hands  
and wrong beds on my way
in mid-air,suspended
In dreams spinning

Now I’m fumbling in my heart  
for the rusty chain  
That held us together  
The old friend too yells “No strings attached”  
My chest is empty
You must have pulled at my heartstrings..
🖤 :)
Tina RSH May 2018
Everything has a way of going awry
profound changes have to tell a story
How air may freeze and earth drown
in ashes of snow and tumble down
Lilies may turn red and violets green
All the opposite of what we have seen
I cannot stand against nature's will
With all these dreams I yet have to fulfill
All that foreseen, but dear love!
To the moon and heavens above
I swear my love for you does end
When Gods die with no love to lend.
Hasty midnight scribbles for an old woud, old friend, old love...
Tina RSH Jul 2017
I could rest my head 
On my deathbed 
And say oh darling
I die more alive than ever
Resume! 
I please to spend innumerable days
Inside this coffin, 
As the gleaming sun shines 
From my chest 
And burns every bone 
Tightly sticking 
To this temporary structure 
A million times! A million times! 
I went straight to the bottom 
Travelled the depths of this sea 
And saw no more than solid darkness
Deafening,blind, heart-wrenching; hazardous
A sea of dead glee.
But a chest of untouched hope
The only treasure I stole 
Emptied in my veins
Seething with my blood
As I lay in my deathbed
Tina RSH ©
12:15 PM
Tina RSH Feb 2018
I? A Heroine? You care about the end?
A nice story to encourage children for life!
While I wade through a swamp of thoughts
ugly, muddy, smelling of death trolls underneath.
I do doubt if there is an end at all.
I do doubt each temporary sense of joy.
I call them clever decoys, set by time
And time to fool us all like a group
of chickens fluttering wings for food.
yes, darling! All heroines passed the road
put an end, bold as brass, daring as a dagger
but I,baby-like, stumble and stagger
This isn't fair, and fair is not the point.
Let the pain crumble each muscle and joint.
But life! oh life plays her cards close to her chest!
And knows how to make disorder manifest.
Tina RSH Jan 2019
People have a way of living in my head
long after they're gone
In the dead of night
At the darkest hours of day
A vampire will incarnate from his grave
and shrieks so loud the sun takes refuge
behind heavy curtains
And every dream disappears
But I hope for tiny stars to shine
An interval for silence
short, short, short as it may be
To prove the people in my head are ghosts
and vampires live in hell
There is no hell, alas, outside my head
nor a graveyard beyond my heart.
If so, one's precious moment is when they're gone
To bed, or to the sky...
But the people in my head never sleep
or die..
I feed them with a mouthful of tranquilizers
and they howl even more.
What if I am the one howling in my head?
One can never say for sure..
Tina RSH Jul 2017
O floating cloud! 
Take me to the end of the world
Deposit me on a solid piece of ground
My fists need to bite every inch of dust
My arms need to embrace the thin air 
And declare their nothingness
My hidden tears need overflowing 
And this thorn in my throat 
This thorn in my throat  
Scratches my voice
Blood pours out of my words 
And I breathe in a touch of silence 
The antidote to a dozen weeps 
I cannot withhold
I am one with the serenity 
Of a frozen lake, 
And The tranquil  ‎blackness of winter nights
O floating cloud! Be proud!
I have no wind to carry me anymore.
Tina RSH ©
13.07.17
7:23 PM
Tina RSH Mar 2018
How does it feel, walking the rainwashed streets without me ?
I hope your hand is comfortable in your pocket,
Or a hand you chose over mine.
On the dining table we never dined
"together", its warmth froze in my heart.
The soup always went cold
and I counted every single bean
Never seen, or tasted before .
I binned the beans and bid them farewell.
I went back to my cold bed
and felt my head explode
and felt my body twitch in need
Oh honey! Lest your soup go cold
Lest you count your beans.
I ate the trashed beans and beamed.
How could I trash the green of your eyes that spoke through the beans?
I think I'll leave the empty bed for sale
It's a free life in jail
without you in my veins.
With me in your dustbin
This hurts beyond reason. It hurts that I never got to be with the man I deeply loved, because of distance and disease. This hurts that everything's ruined..
Tina RSH Aug 2017
Flightless owl 
Who knows the dark corners 
Of night sky like the back of his hand 
His protruding eyes no longer shine 
To keep this darkness aglow 
Ah Sky, this mourning widow
The evil surges through her blood
‎And removes each star like a brushstroke 
Only to leave scars all around her body 
This life is poor, ******! 
A burning hell with no flames, no light 
To keep this mess together tight! 
Darkness speaks, and the owl sees. 
tragedy occurs out of hand 
And out of place 
With no good hands to keep it safe
With no trace to track 
This world runs amock 
Oh‎ this pain never ends. 
And sky cries ever louder..
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Jul 2017
I have travelled from the lands
Of an unknown master that used to be you.
To a distant destiny, a residue
Of silent tears I shed past midnight
For the absence of you.
My throat clogged with screams.
My lips apart for expected moans
And eyes tight shut!
Crying over the absence of you.
The Absence of you
In a world so empty of light
And full of must-dos
Spinning in my head
Lies an imperfect dream
Of holding your hand
In the morning dew.
Tina RSH ©
14.04. 17
Tina RSH Dec 2018
For the sake of love
Let us build a fortress anew
and forget the ruins we used to dwell on.
Reveries that made us linger
more than we were supposed
promises made,
Tears shed,
And hearts torn apart.
Let us imagine the next chapter has arrived,
to paint our bleary minds pitch black
or a promising white.
Since dark is a vivid variation of light
And innocent eyes will take note of it.
We need to talk to lilies more
and see the devil in each sip of champagne
swallowed without a taste.
We need to cry more, and write of love
to quench the hell that echoes our pain
thrice more than it ought to...
Opinions on love?
Tina RSH Jan 2020
I wanted to stay
and bellow out from
the depths of my heart
how very much I loved you
****! But I knew our demons
would blow the horn to
another ****** war if I did
I love you darling, very much so
only.. from safe distance.

#TinaRSH
Tina RSH Sep 2017
I have a way of saying I love you 
To every word that escapes my mind 
Where do you travel to? 
Do you fall beneath conscious sheets 
Or attach to my soul with glue? 
How many days I spent collecting you? 
In a noisy basket full of pride and panic
I guess half a dozen and few. 
Enchanted by your power, your snobbish hue
I search an empty basket over, over again 
This breath is wasted! This mind is subdued.
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Feb 2018
oh! oh I might have survived
gripping firm on all the wrong choices
I hear my heart no longer beat
I keep to my armchair seat
and hear it sizzle in a frying pan
drip drip drip! roasted! grilled.
I do not mind not feeling
not knowing of the haphazard rhytmes
that people play, or are played by
Life!
I do not submerge in my own sea of despair
I do much regret those days
memories of that pounding heart
of those unmade mistakes
and the supreme love
imprisoned by wrong words.
For my twin flame: I love you like I love myself.
Tina RSH Jul 2020
If I were in pieces Could I grab the phone
and give you a call?
Would you wipe away my tears or care about me at all?
Would you hear my pain if someone dragged a blade across my heart?
Would you stick my pieces together before I fall apart?
Would you for no reason hold my hand and say it'll be okay?
Is it too much ask? Would you like strangers to just stay away?
I don't know you at all but I wish you picked up the phone and said hi.
I've been with too many people who called only to say goodbye.
Sometimes I read this from the dying passion in their eyes
Sometimes from the awkward silence and often from their lies.
Will you sit through my grief long enough that it turns into a smile?
Will you, Will you for once tell me I am strong even though I'm fragile.
I'm in the telephone box now dialing random numbers on an imaginary list
praying in my heart someone like you can still exist.
Tina RSH Dec 2018
There was a time I wanted to go home
Rainbow acid pop in my grip
and grilled chicken in my gut
a power to pull my lips sideways
for a wistful smile.
I lie now at the base of a grave
sharing my chicken with worms
and snakes!
And snakes with their ugly fangs
rob me off my pop
and the evergreen beauty I thought infinite
Lost in my eyes
gone with my tears.
The fair land of my heart
barren of any light to harvest,
And I'm degraded through the mocking
momentum of life..
If there was any path to home at all
One to the rainwashed windows
and one to the tender fall
I would go back and stand tall.
Left to the hands of time,
Right, it is lost! There is no path at all..
Home is where you feel you belong to. Home could be a state of mind, a feeling, a person..What is your home?
Tina RSH Jun 2018
Every breath I take reeks of calamity
I start counting the biscuit bunnies I had yesterday.
which sadly reach up to eight.
Not my favourite number at all
I look like an exploding fireball
but despite that everything is dark
and ruddy.
like the insides of a trash bin .
My hands are clammy,
throat, a jammed highway of emotions!
If I used ten thousand oceans
as ink, and a million deserts as parchment,
I would be unable to describe my pain
for it was born a torchering antagonist,
a piece of congealed blood in my lungs
and my breath reeks of calamity.
On anxiety disorders such as ocd and panic attacks, social anxiety and depression. All of which I've suffered from (still struggling).
Tina RSH Jul 2017
I missed you 
Somewhere along the lines of humanised solitude
Or in between a chaotic rampage of thoughts 
The dagger that dips deep in my back; this mind! 
Upon sumptuous portraits hanging off walls.
I missed you
Perhaps, wide awake, watching a nightingale pass away.
Or a tabby cat meowing loud in the bitterness of December. 
As I drowsily dozed on the fireside armchair.
Wearing my brand new woollen socks along  
I missed you
Or I missed myself first! Before my eyes. 
Underneath a dozen dark veils of refusal 
I deposited you and left off for gradual death.
Wishing, I were the nightingale that flew free.
Tina RSH Jan 2020
Morning is such a desperate lover.
How else could she make
you meet her if she didn't
steal your dreams at night?
Tina RSH Jul 2017
Ebony black Pearl!
I play music tonight.
Listen carefully.
3:57 AM
27.07.17
Tina RSH ©
First haiku in the middle of a rough night
Tina RSH Mar 2018
On the count of three, my journey begins
Through soft silence touching my bare feet
Three: Too much noise in my rucksack to carry
malignant, cancerous, deceiving on the contrary
Swallowed by silence and my rucksack is free
pure!
**** that constant pain I had to endure!
Two: My heavy eyes search for an end
at the far end of the sea.
My eyes fallible and fed with grandiosity.
The sea sniggers.
A sudden closure.
One: The journy pulls me through like magnet.
Not that I feel ready.
Not that I feel.
Not that I think.
Not for a moment of certainty I move or blink...
Tina RSH Feb 2018
Star, Scarred, barred from gleaming
beaming to the world, seeming
as if light has the ultimate might
to shower the glassy body with power
of being, seeing the present as it is
or is not, but cut off from the sky
Star marred, far away from home
roams, the sky in wanderlust and sorrow.
Tina RSH Apr 2018
When rain drops kiss the face of earth
When the skyline shakes with mirth
When coffee fills up a white cup
And four year old Ben craves a lollipop
I die to put a we
at the beggining of our endless road
And make all the little "mine"s
great Ours.
sitting here like a relentless toad
begging, begging of God
for all roses to sing ballads
For my blood to be the ink
of your pen to write
why those nightingales sighed
at my ailing sight.
Or why
the rain stopped
and I wept instead.
But, believe it or not
Sweet love!
God lost his power
over natural elements
birds, ants and mice
As your love had me lost
more than twice.
#lost #love #lovestory #sad #tragedy #romance #romantic #truelove #crush #forelorn #onesidedlove #breakup
Tina RSH Mar 2019
Many words I despise to praise
and smiles forcefully produced
palms on their eyes, fretting
to eye the truth that tastes so bitter
but mixed with glitter looks just like gold
to the bare eye.
I dare not say
I fret to speak
what truth lies buried in their chest
They'd run a thousand miles away
and shriek at the top of their lungs
to rip that chest apart
dispose of a piece of art
but never hear these words..
Easy to forebear lies within lies
sweet and sinister, like robbing a maiden off virginity
far better to taste, way easier to digest
than relinquish your heart to her fresh love
That is what they desire, not so deeply
And I haul myself to write for a sea of lost souls
and rivers of forgotten tears as mine
whose owners please to shroud
from what's indeed all human
to see with heart, and devour with ears.
This goes to all of us. Whether you've had an emotion or not, if you've ever felt pain and wondered how to react to it, then this poem is yours.
Tina RSH Feb 2018
Bound to the bandwidth of time, watching each dead end sneer
a fistful of garrulous grand power pounding on my chest insincere
Dear Lily petals drinking acid rain, choking on each sip,
A drink of despair imploring love, lavish as the heart of tulip.
All that written, and I relegate a silent roar onto this verse
Like all dead poets do to escape an unbreakable curse.
And I'd consummate my love in a bed of poetry and rose.
To say it was worth if all along my heart broke and froze.
Tina RSH Jul 2017
Behind the veil of truth, there is love
The charcoal sketch of your beautiful face
That no artist could ever paint, but God himself
The warmth of your hands, that no fire can produce,
Makes my heart melt right through my chest
Where my love for you sleeps like a baby
I would savour the taste of your lips
Just the way champagne tickles my tongue
And tea burns my throat on a freezing day
I pray for the sun to never rise, after you are gone
I pray for this earth not to exist
When you step into the heavens above,
I pray for my bones to be broken,
When your touch is no longer there to give them strength,
A simple tender touch, that keeps my bones in their place.
And you, pulled into my embrace,
Where the universe continues to live, while it has died everywhere else.
Your smooth skin under my gentle caress,
Feels like raindrops falling onto the ground
Death may come and take away the flesh,
Life, however, winds on between your soul and mine!
For life never stops between two lovers.
Sure enough everyone's had that special someone, unreachable, to write about..
Tina RSH Mar 2018
Undo my buttons
and let the soul breathe
for the body to freeze
or scorch! I am done
with each attempt to see
with wistful bras
and weeping knickers
Sulked by sore heads
that lay on pvc pillows
And aluminium beds
Mouths that drink blood
chew mud
Lips that never kissed the moonlight
Eyes that never waved to the sunbeam
All talk of love to redeem
this mass of jagged insanity
“La vie est un sommeil,
l'amour en est le rêve."
Undo my buttons
and caress all the scars
it took to believe
I am as dead
as my cigars.
Tina RSH Jul 2017
I have sinned so far 
With your honeyed lips 
Dived against a dozen hazel waves
And Stolen pearl-filled shells
From the ocean of your eyes 
Begged your precious ears 
To let my foolish chatters pass by
For your rosebud to give off words
That dance around my heavy head
Gathered the scent of your cologne in my ***** 
That beats for every inch of your proximity
It burns my flushed flesh with searing sin 
And my heart with pleasant remorse  
May Lord God be Merciful to rebels
Who ran from sacred sanity to Love.
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Jan 2020
You cannot **** a dead man.
Nor can you break someone
who is already into pieces.
#TinaRSH
Tina RSH Feb 2020
Come, tug at my rib cage-
reach inside and take yourself
away.
Sometimes the wound reopens without warning and starts to gush out old painful thoughts and emotions. Is it just me? yes and no. We've all loved too hard at some point, we've all spent our precious feelings for someone who couldn't care less..
Tina RSH Sep 2019
My dear old pain is in his death bed
and mourning comes in a haste
sits by my side, sheds some tears
Pats me on the left shoulder
Time flies by, old fellow
and we have to make it quick
so brisk do her tears trickle down
the weight lifted off her chest
by the invisible hand of time
the foe she shuddered to confront
But I hold my beloved pain by the hand
plant a mouthful of dry kisses on his lips
those he splashes with his tongue
Those that fan my fire with urgent pleas
But the scent of his evaporating blood
collaborates with the callous grasp of mourning
and the two unlock our burning lips
Now ruffled with the absence of my beloved pain
I stand back, to bid the mourning farewell
and dig my chest deep enough to bury
all the love I had for the gone soul
of my beloved pain..
Tina RSH Jan 2018
I came out with a little something
To tantalise the world with
I put on a magician cloak
And a top hat to top the world
There was that mind blowing show
At 7 pm each wednesday.
I sold people embroidered lies
And bought their colossal blunders
Yet, none could feed the hunger I carried
In the pit of my stomach
Or the thirst that would wipe out my barren eyes
Till some intruder having planned before
Broke in to the show, blasting the door
As audience fled, my cloak caught fire
The top hat descended like acid rain
corroding my magic into pieces of wood and wire
All gone and I stood watching
How my utmost dreams flew away .
Two tinsy droplets began dancing on my cheeks
The hunger that ached my stomach for weeks
Muttered: Voila!
And the intruder had left with nothing to say.
Tina RSH Sep 2017
No this wasn't platonic, white and placid
Made out of crimson cherries and blueberries 
It was amplifying, reddish, corrosive as acid 
I couldn't move my jaw, or breathe; I choked 
Like breathing was an illusion I saw before my eye
No! This didn't go away with time.
It resided, very well groomed in my heart 
Oh closely! Listen! Can you hear it beat?
And thump, and pound and pound and pound!
No it wasn't an aimless seed planted perfect 
It was an explosive, a bomb you say! 
What has this world got against my heart? 
It cracked, held still and shattered, by sudden?
No! Well rehearsed plots, undergoing attacks. 
And words came bursting out, 
And blood flooded my mouth 
And specked your charming face . 
And I fell...
Into your arms, you ask?
No! Onto the ground..
Onto the solid ground that kept me company. 
You left, my dear! 
Knowing not! Knowing not! 
How my craze is a realm of love 
And a touch of reality...
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Oct 2017
Through and through, he pulled me through 
With a magnet in his heart, a dream in his smile 
Befallen me, a timeless masquerade 
And Ceaseless feet 
That mindless grew, grew, grew...
Did I ever pause to rob a quick kiss
Or glance a furtive glance? 
I know not, I know not. 
No momentary pause , he took me high
He took me high
And higher and higher we flew.
Where did we travel to? 
I couldn't say, I had no clue. 
And When The world fell asleep
I muttered to his sweet ears: 
I have always loved you.
Tina RSH ©
Tina RSH Sep 2018
I prefer to sleep all day long
You see, keep my eyes closed
Than stare at this multitude of ants
following the taste of something sweet
Where are you? In a hopeless dream I had
as I wallowed in the bitter reality
of your absence..
your absence..
your absence..
I will live to dream you are here
darling,
I hope those ants keep away from you
Lest you be bitten..
Lest you close your eyes.
-Tina RSH
Tina RSH Feb 2019
Never arrived the day I could call you by your sweet name
and hear it echo through my soul
Or let the sound adorn every inch of air
Every weary day casually strolled
by and by bleached my hair
Never arrived the day I could pass by your house
and await a signal that you are there
It is unfair, and very unfair
That I know not whose arms stole your attention
from me, your devoted slave with no redemption
Never, Never arrived the day I could die for you
and prove that fools as such can exist too
I continued to live an ashen life till the end
Never did you love me back, never old friend! .
When wine brings back all the memories..cheers!
Tina RSH Feb 2020
Mother! Mother! You doubt my senses
I have barely lived two decades
pulling thorns off my heart's delicate petals
I am scythed around the stem
and smothered deep in the roots
Riding these tidal waves of breath for survival.

O senses!
O senses!

Darling! You said my love was irrelevant
but to this day I celebrate it, watering
dried daffodils on the green outskirts of your shirt
to savour your scent of six months ago
Each drop of sweat on your face
as you dug a tunnel into my very soul
and took over this fleshy frame
O irrelevance!
O irrelevance!

I have trudged a dozen miles in the horizon
barefoot, bareskin, bare minded
Bathed at the gracious hand of sun
in the endless sea of love the earth sold
at one heartbreak per drop.

O earth!
O love!
It's the first poem with a better wrapup than others imo. Had difficulty finding a proper name because ughhh too many feelings to fit in one phrase but..here we are.
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