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Calla Fuqua Dec 2020
I wish my tactile hallucinations would give me a massage,
A warm hug from my non-existent mother,
A kiss from my long distance boyfriend.

A twisted fairytale

My hallucinations
They know what I fear most
And they want me to be afraid
They feed off my terror
They get off on my sick brain
They know what torments me.
Arachnophobia’s favorite game to play
The spiders
Come out of
My skin
They’ve been waiting patiently
When I’m most vulnerable
When I’m isolated
When I’m helpless

I wish my tactile hallucinations would
**** me
I am not actually suicidal
Maruko San Jun 2020
This is my life force
my only life force
A pill that would make
my pain go away
A pill that sends me
to my own dimension
A pill that makes me
fly so high
that I can feel the
stars at the tip of my
As I float to deep space
I realize there's nothing
to breath in
and found myself
gasping for oxygen
that sweet sweet oxygen
as I hold on for dear life until
I realized that I've been back stabbed
by my life force my only life force
Hamies May 2020
usually, i see you in my hallucinations
when i'm too high to think about reality
but now, i see you all the time

during sunday afternoons sitting next to me on the floor reading the old love letters you wrote me

standing next to the fridge watching me how i make myself a cup of coffee to taste something else besides the taste of your lips

at night, you're even laying next to me and you're smiling at me like you used to

&' even tho my bed sheets were washed endless times after you've laid with me on them, they still carry your fragrance

and every time you appear anywhere by me
i start talking to you
i tell you how much i've missed you
i try to admire you as long as i can
'cause i'm afraid that at some point
i stop imagining you
forget about your face
that some day you become a blurry memory
inside my head
and that even the drugs cannot bring you back

please do not vanish from my hallucinations
it's the only thing i've left from you
Crossing the busiest lane,
I saw her again,
Waving back at me,
Asking me to join her if I was free,
Pleading in her irresistible smile,
It made my heart beat which was fragile.

Jogging my way to the lake,
I saw her again,
Keeping up with my pace,
Trying her best to ace,
But tripping again and again,
Laughing instead of moaning in pain.

Gazing at the stars with wine,
I saw her again,
seated next to me on the cold surface,
Staring at the twinkling with a daze.

Then it dawned on me,
It was my own weak memory,
'Playing' my favorite moments,
'Deleting' the parting torments,
'Pausing' on her pretty beaming,
'Rewinding' all our meetings,
'Reset' button should be somewhere,
But do I want it to be there?
He locked me in his arms,
bringing me to his chest,
kissing my forehead,
pinched on the edge of nose and suddenly disappeared.
-Jumana Afreen
Michael R Burch Mar 2020
Loose Knit
by Michael R. Burch

She blesses the needle,
fetches fine red stitches,
criss-crossing, embroidering dreams
in the delicate fabric.

And if her hand jerks and twitches in puppet-like fits,
she tells herself
reality is not as threadbare as it seems ...

that a little more darning may gather loose seams.

She weaves an unraveling tapestry
of fatigue and remorse and pain; ...
only the nervously pecking needle
****** her to motion, again and again.

Published by The Chariton Review, Penumbra, Black Bear Review, and Triplopia. Keywords/Tags: Addiction, needle, veins, stitches, red, blood, ******, dreams, hallucinations, seams, darning, tapestry
Willow Branche Jan 2020
seeing **** that isn’t there,
hearing **** that isn’t real,
memories can’t be trusted.
the shadow people,
that used to scare me,
now long to be dusted.
9 pills down the hatch,
9 pills swallowed to cure me.
they stick inside my throat,
“They’ll start to work soon,
Just be patient.”
as they write another note.
the doses start to increase,
my tongue starts to spasm.
my hands shake as well,
i thought these things
we’re supposed to heal me,
instead I’m in living hell.
“Benefits do outweigh
the horrible side effects”
is what the doctors say.
so I keep on taking them,
choking them down,
every night and day.
but the **** is still there,
i can see it, and I can hear it too.
its plain as day, staring at me.
it’s as real as me and,
wait. are you?
Asominate Jan 2020
The sun sees through us, Star Eyes
Awake, I become dazed
Talking, they're speaking through me
Of monsters that they chase

Star Eyes, stuck in a blanket
The darkness never ends
Behold human perfection
Here sanity descends

Come find me in the ghost nets
Thoughts stinking high with "mur-"
Ignoring all the signs, let's
Harm all that is with "-der"
Today my university classes began, and in my first class, I spent most of it hallucinating. Wrote a poem to make it stop. It didn't
Radhika Krishna Jan 2020
Everything is a lie
Mother says my skin is fever hot
But my skin and I are locked away in a jar
Hold your thoughts, who is 'Mother'?
I've no mother; I'm all alone
Everything is a lie, everything is a lie
I sing and sing, then I lose my voice
Will you wake me from this fever dream
Wait, who are you and who am I ?
And what is reality, why have I lost it
Radhika Krishna Jan 2020
Everything is a lie
The pages of my books
Turned to powder and coated my eyes
And now the things I see are hazy
And I think that I am going crazy
Everything is a lie
They took my head
And filled it with butterflies
Now I think the sky is grey
And I see your face in the mirror
White Shadow Dec 2019
I try to forget everything and
Dissolve in my surrounding
I listen to different voices
Each voice has it's own role in my story
The birds chirping in the morning reminds me of the time
When we were holding hands in the dawn
The sound of traffic reminds me of the time
When we were walking down the street holding hands
The voices of couples talking reminds me of the time
When we used to talk to each other
I listen to your voice calling me
May be it's hallucination
But I just get up and smile
I listen to the voices and
Each one of them reminds me
The different parts of the incomplete story of mine
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