Little lost girl
Wanders far down
Away from negativity
And wretched howls of town

Little lost girl
Stumbles on stones
Not resisting failure
Or the find of old bones

Little lost girl
Shielded from the lights
Hears the engine approaching
And discards her known rights

Little lost girl
Is nowhere to be seen
She's surely not stamped to the ground
By a superior of all means

Oh darling don't be scared to say exactly how you feel
At least we know your heart and mind and broken soul are real
Oh darling don't be scared to show your insecurities
Maybe then someone will know they don't do as they please
Oh darling sing as soft you want, reach only who you will
It's just fine to stand aback and stare the windowsill
Oh darling don't be scared to cry in front of those who care
Maybe then they'll realize hurt and always will be there
Oh darling I just ask of you to be kind to your own
I would've held you further from the blade if I had known

Tip toe quietly on yout feet
Don't you dare you miss a beat
Make around the floor-set traps
Wide awake as the rest of the world naps
Creak the door open just a slight
Enough to sneak away into the night
Ignore the clatter of bottles and breaths
Soon enough they'll be just deaths
Climb the barrier that separates care
For that courage resides somewhere
Tip toe quietly on your feet
Don't you dare you skip a beat

Rain
It's raining and it's that time of year again
Kissing in the rain
Crying in the rain
Dancing in the rain
Driving in the rain
Picture in the rain
It's raining and I'm glad of that
It's raining outside
And for once,
It's not raining in.
It's raining outside
And we can now sit peacefully
And gaze out the window
As drops splash against it
Its raining outside
And we can both appreciate the beauty
Knowing that
It's not raining inside anymore.
Its raining outside
And you are happy
And so am I.
Its raining outside
But that's alright.

goodbye kiss - don't call it that
i know it's true, but don't call it that
you hugged me for an extended amount of time
like it was the last
it might be true, but don't think like that
walking away, i forced myself not to look back
like it was the last time i would be seeing you
it just might be, but we don't know that

i sat and cried on the steering wheel
until i realized people were giving me funny looks
and looks of concern
i screamed to myself, don't cry like that
so i drove and my eyes teared up
and i didn't exactly care if i got in a wreck
as long as it could take away the pain
on the inside
but he still needs you, don't drive like that

then i drove and i drove
and i played the same two songs on repeat
and people still gave me funny looks
i know i'm crying, don't stare like that
and then i finally stopped crying
at least on the outside
and i went outside and smiled at strangers
but it wasn't real, don't live like that

I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to act
This is all too real
I thought we had a pact

Pretty poems are all just dreams
watch me write realities

There isnt much to say
My mind refuses to think at this time of day
My hand refuse to move in that form or way
My lungs refuse to breathe, held up with clay
My heart it will not beat, it simply lay
I dont have words to say
Until you cross my mind at break of day
Until you caress my hand in that certain way
Until your lungs clear mine, free of their clay
My heart can not not beat how you and I lay

I was hospitalized
due to beatings and bruises and ****** black eyes
I told my mom that I fell
and I told my sister, my father, and the doctor as well
I don't think they believed me
but the last thing they would guess is that it all came from him, see
so when I finally came home
they threw me a recovery, surprise party show
and they invited him, oblivious
did they not see him as michevious?
I spent the whole night being forced to hug, kiss, and love
my abuser who called me his drug
and the next morning I landed myself back in the hospital
and I told my mother, my sister, my father, and the doctor I fell -
not to be a downer, but I think I'd rather this hell

break in*
fingertips imprinted onto the glass of the cold window
legs shake as I balance on the bricks
inside I catch a glimpse of my own shadow
but I can't stop now, my watch still ticks

the dead of night is wide awake
staring at my unrecognizable clone on the wall
is this really where I belong?
I step inside before I fall

maybe I should just go back from where I came
it's quiet in here
and this has always been a risky game
I come in peace to invade the premises
before I get caught, I get one last good luck kiss

from the raindrops that now patter against the desk
leaking through the open gap in the wall
if not for the circumstance, would appear quite picturesque
my shadow still wavers, slim and tall

now this is it
I lay down on the stranger's bed
pealing the sickly drenched clothes from my skin
as the wind gushes past my head
where do I belong?
where do I go?
what am I doing here, for how long?
when can I come home?

I stole myself a keepsake for remembrance of my father,
a bracelet made by he that lasted 3 years, no longer
I picked me out a souvenir in summertime Muskogee
but now they sit so rusted and do of nothing to me
I hang old captured memories, tacked into my right wall
but they still just stand, a memory, that's all their worth in all

I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin

Even all the words I wrote, someday will be just that
They may still hold a meaning, but I can never bring it back
The pearls pierced through my ears handed down from generation,
even they are getting old throughout this newer nation
Stories ended with their what if's and could have's
are too far passed now, just sit for some good laughs

I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin

Why do we need bibles and these holy books to say
something once was, and I think again one day
I only can remember that one time I landed hospitalized
because the get well notes be still on my shelf advised
I used to keep a diary when I was just young,
to write down all I saw until it wasn't all fun

I will need no souvenir to remember you
I will need no keepsake hung up with a sticky glue
I will have your hand to hold, forever and again
If I need reminder, I just gaze up past your chin

For you are my souvenir
living life with both so near
Your hand is just a reminder
of the time that we have spent, in you, the *meaning finder

What's a piece of paper gonna
Do when you're dead?
Has it been worth the meds?

Girls don't want guys who abuse them
Girls don't want guys that just use them
Guys don't want girls who act ******
Guys don't want girls that get glitchy
Girls sometimes get stuck with destruction
Guys sometimes can't handle construction
We get put here because we come to think that is all we amount to
Someday it will be too late - no way to run from you

And now I understand why my mother stopped having fun,
Why my math teacher works double jobs,
Why the girl I met in eighth grade dropped out after a week of high school,
Why my aunts and uncles pleaded me to enjoy what I had while I had it,
Why my mother and father always fought over bills and credit cards,
Why my father eventually just decided to ***** it,
***** the girl at work,
***** over his children,
And ***** over his chances.
I understand why the people on the street corner
Are always on the street corner.
It's not about dreams, about want, about passion.
Nobody cares if you don't want to be a doctor, or a scientist, or a manager, or a lawyer, or a ****** fry cook for the majority of your life.
Nobody cares if you like music, or drawing, or taking pictures, or posing pictures, or doing what you love.
Today is about money
And surviving
And buying things
And raising your kids on enough money
So that they can raise their kids on enough money
To raise your great great grandkids on enough money
Because today
That is all that really matters.
***** your dreams
(just like my father ******* over his children)
Because unless you catch luck
Your dreams will lead you nowhere.
It's all about money
It's all about ******* money
So don't count on that road trip after high school,
Don't count on making it out of college without debt,
In fact, don't even count on making it into college.
That dream can die, too.

I once did bear the flags and symbols
And pride
Of the star spangled banner and gun toters
And the red white and blue
And the discrimination of those "unluckily" not born into such a country as ours.
I once did support the presidential idiocracies and the government corruption,
That is until I ripped away the blinding shield
And recognized the joke that this state has become,
The troubles it has caused,
And the morons who actually believe they can better it again.
I used to be one of those oblivious cheerers
Hanging onto just a dream and a hope
That hides the dust and the bones
Of America.
I do not believe that my children deserve to spend their life
Growing up in such a messed up universe.
The first chance I recieve,
I am running,
Away from this cold morbid land
Unless they have killed us already.

Addiction comes in all shapes and sizes
Forms and figures
Good and bad
Costly or breakable
Addictions can either **** you,
**** those around you,
Or **** the dark.
Addictions are sometimes all that we have.
Addictions can save,
Or addictions can be bad.

you're my girl, you know that?*

I know, but I still love it when you reassure me
I love it when you kiss me at school and risk teacher's scoldings
I love it when you pull me closer and rest your palms on my hip
I love it when you let me toy aimlessly with your fingers or locks of hair
I love those passionate moments that are only yours and mine to hold
I love you
and I'll love you when we're old

don't you dare laugh
because she attempted to inject hot glue into her skin
don't you dare laugh
about the chemicals she swallowed to get away from you
don't you dare laugh
about the bruises left around her throat
don't you dare laugh
at the scars dug deep into her veins
you can laugh
all you want at my past, my mistakes, and my pain
but don't you dare laugh
at her
even if I don't know her name.

Pocket pills of purple pinks in pity pants
Talking to the things that cause this total trance
Choking coughs from cold degrees or circumstance
Glazing eyes gliding through a gruesome glance
Ripping ribs and retched rings due rough romance
Dagger diamonds digging deep throughout a dance
So no **** she's so good at suicide stance

That one is either rolling a cigarette between her teeth
or picking out this morning's rushed breakfast keish.
That man is either yelling lyrics to an upbeat rap melody
or scolding his young child, with his back to me.
That mom is either arguing with a voice on her earpiece
or the little girl, defeated, with her head in her knees.

I would tell that lady that her teeth look fine,
or that cigarettes ****, but she might respond with I don't mind
I would tell that man that he's good at what he does,
or he shouldn't yell at his kid, we all know that's not love
I would ask of the mother to pay more attention to her girl,
or maybe a bit less if that's what's making her hurl.

I wonder if anyone plays this game with me
when all you can do is wonder when all you can do is see.
I wonder what they think and if to them I seem okay
I don't mean to intrude, I just fasten my seatbelt and play.

I let her
open a bottle that was so clearly supposed to be closed
I let her
crawl inside and lick up what I left behind
I let her
experience the pain and the sting of a mistake I was lucky enough to postpone
I let her
find her way back out as tears brimmed her stolen eyes
I let her
risk the chance of shedding blood and ripping clothes
I let her
do the who and what I knew was wrong inside

no, no, no
don't go down that road
you know that's not where happiness is found!

no, no, no
don't try to fit her shoes
you weren't made to walk her ground!

no, no, no
don't let them tell you where to go
you weren't meant for the background!

no, no, no, no, no
don't stop kicking now
everyone else has drowned. . .

oh
don't die on me yet
only water does surround!

I don't write down things just so you can relate
I know I have a ****** up head
That's just one of the things I hate

Twisted together, chest to chest, skin to skin
strong arms shielding my tiresome eyes from the wicked of the night
Why would anyone take such safety from me?

Tossing my body delicately on the patterned carpet,
fingers playing with my sides lightheartedly, giggles erupting from within our souls
Why would anyone take such joy from me?

Whisper of voice blending so sweetly with the strings of music,
smiles cascade down our chins
Why would anyone take such peace from me?

Understanding glances without so much as an expression or an afterthought,
the sublime caress of vowels and consonants rolling swiftly through our tongues' exchange
Why would anyone take such love from me?

It started with a gun
that started with a bottle
that started with the scars
that started with the lies
that started with the insecurities
that started with the heartbreak
that started with the grievance
that started with a corpse
that started with the quarrels
that started with the cheating
that started with the drugs
that started with a state of being overwhelmed
that started with a child
that started with a toxic love
that started with a gun

I woke up with no voice to scream for help when I was seven
I had my right arm trampled on when I was eleven
I began the reoccuring battle of self harm when I was twelve
I experinced the death of my father when I was thirteen
I got sexually assaulted, gave away the start of my innocence, and experienced my first heartbreak when I was fourteen
I officially could call myself not a ****** at fifteen
I found out that my dad was a liar, cheater, and an awful soul and that if I don't watch out, I could end up like him (at sixteen)

And my mind cannot figure out which pained me most.

Just if you so listen, I would do anything
As soon as I stop crying, I'll crouch down on my knees
So caught up in the pleasure, you couldn't hear me plea
But that's okay, I had my time, this part is not about me
I'll come over after midnight only seeking out a shoulder
But you force me to repay you, unapologetically
I wipe my tears and strip my clothes, leaving all for him to see
Sometimes he locks me to the bed and threatens to throw the key
And all I am is a lost cause, caught up in the debris
Every night, it never stops - monotonously
And some night I may just not show up
Because I gave up on talking and letting him ***** me
Someday I will disappear,
I'll be his absentee

the truth is that I am not ready to hear it.

I used to think I would meet you again
Somewhere below the ever-rising stars
Clothed in your embrace, what I call a win
The moment my father takes out my scars

All that I long for is one last goodbye
So that Intsead I could beg you "please stay"
I thought you would hold me, say It's alright
And I wait every moment for that day

Oh, please come again; I know that you will
That's what I said when I thought of your death
Just the mere thought of you sends me to chills
I'll slowly await the feel of your breath

Yet now that I've grown, I know it's a lie
All you are is gone, why'd you have to die?

she writes
she writes with her newly applied nail polish
her new nail polish is black
her new nail polish is her favorite color
her favorite color is black because
ever since she caught glimpse of reality
that is all that she knows in her mind -
black,
morbid
her new nail polish
is forever.

The more your clothes come undone
the more your heart does the same
.
.
.

He fell alseep to the sound of my voice
he claims that it soothes him
Even when I trail off about simple things like the sky
or the library or the color of my blouse
I recognize that it wooes him
The places we visit, I describe in great detail
he sits quietly and smiles to his feet
An unfamiliar scent that he reaches to inhale
He asks what's that and is it lovely like me
He insisted on taking me to see a movie on our fifth date
but I didn't miss the tears as he sat there and listened
Sometimes he gets shaky when I come home too late
he doesn't know my looks, but he knows my voice glistens
He hasn't met my eye
but he knows they're my mother's
He doesn't recognize all the pity stares
or the muscle that follows my big brothers

Maybe love is blind
and maybe he is love.

They say high school is the time for finding yourself.

I only found you,
but I think that's enough.

You deserve to be worshipped
No, you should be slain
Your memory will live on
Your memory shall be the root of all evil
I wish I could call you my hero
*But I could barely call you my dad

I fell in love with a drug addict
I even bore his child
He sobered enough to kiss her cheek
and then left me, once again, in the wild

I fell in love with him for who he be
and this love left me feeling e'er so lone
when the drug wore off and he loved just me
I fell in love with his troubled own

I fell in love with the wrong sort of lad
One minute he's here yet the next is a blur
I feel so ashamed as my child cries "where's dad"
I don't know baby, he's probably with her

This man whom I love
he should not be a father, he should be kicked
the man whom I love is a disgrace of all others
I fell in love with a drug addict

When all has been personally ripped from your grasp
only then do you have the right to say,
What is there left to lose?

**Unless that right is taken from you, too

In Sunday school they taught me
that each and every hair
represents God's creation.

In Elementary school they taught me
that each and every hair
could be trimmed unevenly by rusty pink scissors.

In Middle school they taught me
that each and every hair
need be pulled back properly during gym class if seen as a disturbance.

In High school they taught me
that each and every hair
should be blue or green or purple, just anything but ordinary.

In Beauty school they taught me
that each and every hair
make all the difference, and what you become of them is a masterpiece.

At Graduates school they taught me
that each and every hair
represents the stress that you carry day by day.

After school they taught me
that each and every hair
Is useless as it adds to the problems you already carry.

A house is where my bed lays with a pillow
and fresh linen
A house is where I spend my nights
and although it may have kin in
A house is just a space in which
to hang the pretty lights
A house is not a home
unless I have you in my sight

Pain
- Endless supply
- Free of cost
- Condition: Used
- Need room for other feelings
- Please reply ASAP


My mother always taught me that if I don't want something, to just donate. Someone could always use it for good. So, please, take it away from me... I don't want it anymore.