Ignorance- bliss,
Ignorance to reality- oblivion.

There is no joy;
Only sorrow,
in dishonesty.

There is no joy,
In popularity,
From problems,
*Real problems.

And I'm actually bothered,
Upset,
Irritated even,
But I don't know why,
Maybe I expected more.

I don't fall easily,
But I'm a helpless romantic,
My heart barely races,
But I want it to.

I've waited so long,
I don't want to believe,
That everything means nothing,
I just want to know,
That someone wants me,
As more than just a friend.

Sadly,
I didn't prepare myself for this.

Luckily,
I'm not dying on the Inside,
And I usually am.

Why am I not surprised?
This was bound to happen.

I watched that movie,
And made a silent prayer,
That that'd be me someday.

Getting old,
Making fun of an amazing man's hair,
Joking around,
'Cause having kids couldn't change us.

This feeling called love,
With all it's trouble,
All it's pain,
All it's hurt,
I'll take it.

Hopefully,
I feel the bliss,
Because I'm craving it,
And this feeling,
Of insignificance,
**Is tearing me apart.

With the complexity of my personality,
And the difference between me and everyone,
Here's the reality of things.

Now,
I'll leave you with something,
Somewhat like a blurb,
'Cause the story has no end,
And I'll never trust enough to tell it.

I'm a black hole,
Many are but my black,
Is darker.

I'm full,
So full that there is no space for light,
Leaving me,
Seemingly empty.

Or in other words,
There is so much going on with me,
The safest bet,
Is to hide it,
And smile,
Until I can't.

Just a pointer,
I don't say what I mean,
I don't know how to,
So I can't.

I sugar quote things,
Both good and bad,
Even to myself.

And I rarely show any true emotions,
It's misleading,
So don't believe what I tell you,
About how I feel.

Read it yourself,
If you care enough,
But well I don't think anyone does.

If you want something,
Ask.

If you want to know me,
Or you think I'm rude,
Or you have a thought about me.

Even if you don't need to,
Or want to,
Just tell me,
Don't lie to me,
I hate that,
More than rain.

I'm a simple person,
With a complicated mind,
You'll never get me,
Until you try,
Hard.

I see things that nobody else sees,*
It's scary,
Sometimes.

Release,
I need,
Release,
I plead,
With you,
To give me,
Sweet release.

Love,
It's made me spoilt,
I want it,
I believe that i need it,
But i see no sign of it approaching,
And that kills me.

Maybe i don't deserve love,
Or maybe,
*Love just doesn't deserve me.

It all came crashing down,
The realisation,
That all I thought and felt,
Was based on illusions.

Sounds great doesn't it?
No actually,
It doesn't,
And the worst part is,
I was more than surprised,
I was disappointed,
I was hurt.

You hurt me with two words,
And now I'm back to where I was,
Hormonal ramblings.

Plucking petals was a waste of nature.

And if we ever speak again,
I'll spill my guts.

I know what you're going through,
But I miss you,
I miss joking around,
And yes I did get butterflies,
I felt the whole zoo actually.

I want you to be fine,
But we haven't spoken in so long,
What if you are,
But you've forgotten about me.

I need you.

When everything is a mess,
You're the best pile of mess,
And I laugh,
Even when I'm upset,
Because of you.

I miss you.

I miss you,
*And I really hope you miss me too.

No worries,
I'm used to it.

You found someone more important.

**** though,
You almost had me.

Have to admit,
It hurts like hell,
But I'll pretend I'm fine,
As usual.

Yeah,
But I hate you,
I mean,
You're awesome,
But you see,
You kinda broke my heart,
Before I even lent it to you so...

I feel stupid,
It was only a few days,
How did I fall blindly,*
I bet you pushed me!

Well doesn't life ****?
I guess the strong girl,
Is tired of being strong.

I guess fate has made its choice,
Ugh these inner bleeding eyes.

He gave me his wrist band,
So I wouldn't forget,
What we once had.

And now i cry,
More than usual,
Because I lost him,
And it reminds me,
Of what we never really had.

His scent lingers on,
On this wretched band.

But i'll *torture myself with the memories,
Forever.

Because I loved him,
I still do,
And to me,
This band,
*Is him.

It was late,
I was unaware,
Different time zones,
But you were still there,
I said I was fine,
Told you not to worry,
You said you didn't give a **** what I wanted,
You'd still worry, sorry.

That might seem cruel but I found it sweet,
You stayed up till 6,
And made me speak.

We just met that day but we had a connection,
Talked for hours straight,
It was the weirdest,
Unexpected not to mention.

You layed it down straight,
Let me know your bad side,
Said you're a charmer,
Made the ladies flip.

It was an instant friendship,
Everything fell in place.

You're the horrible one,
Who stayed that night,
Said you weren't so horrible when it counts,
We gave each other nicknames.

I shouldn't be writing this but I am,
Because although I can't be fooled by that charm,
You're on my mind most of the time,
And that wasn't part of the plan.

We talk like old friends,
Joke like kids,
But when it comes to these things,
I give perfect advise,
Though I'm slightly naive.

Not sure what it means to like,
Not sure if you're the type,
So I'll end it in poetry,
**Let fate decide.