Recently, a turn of events has conquered my conscious. My transgender boyfriend came out to his parents as trans, and their reaction has been very volatile. They want him to break up with me, because they think he's changing himself to suit me. Yes, I'm a homosexual, and yes, I fell in love with a biological female. But I have done nothing but encourage him to be happy, and to love and support him through any and all changes necessary for him to procure happiness. They're taking him to therapy, and they're trying to divide him from me. But all they're managing to do is divide themselves from their child, for they're trying to remove me from their son's life; he doesn't want me gone. I've been there for him these many months. It's been my shoulder his head has cried on. It's been me that he seeks out when he's in despair, needing empathy. You are breaking him. He is hurting. The number of transgender youth that commit suicide each year is so high. Do you want him to be a statistic?

I have lost my respect for his parents. They want him to be a girl, but alas, he is not.

I'm weeping.

Love is such an incredible thing. We all have this idea of what love is fed to us throughout our lives; when we are birthed into this world, we experience love, see love, are taught about love. But it's hardly captured properly, I think, in books and films and other things.

    See, loving another person is almost an undescribable thing. I know that I would do anything and everything, change anything and everything, be anything and everything for for the person I love. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he called himself by a different name. A society-deemed "feminine" name.

    His whole life, everyone referred to him as a girl. Told him he was a girl. They made him behave accordingly, and told him it was wrong to act the way he wanted. They mocked him for displaying any sort of behavior that was deemed "unladylike". He learned to not trust them because they refused to be what they needed to be: supportive.

    I started hanging out with him when he still identified as a girl. At the time, he still presented as a female, but despite me being gay, I became instantly captivated by him.

    We had been friends on the internet for a long time leading up to actually spending time together. We had a foundation, we had stories to tell and memories to share. I remember there being a spark; it didn't happen when I first saw him, for I did not fall in love with his appearance. The spark happened when I began interacting with him and realized that he made my heart happy in ways that NO ONE had EVER been able to achieve.

    We started dating. At the time, I was out as "bisexual". I use quotations only because I'm actually gay, not because bisexuals don't exist. My family accepted him, but believed him to be a girl. Hell, I believed him to be a girl. A masculine one, but still a female. But then he went through this period where he identified as gender fluid, and then, eventually, came out to me as being fully Transgender.

    I'm an accepting guy. My heart, as well as my mind, is open to so many things. It didn't matter to me that his body would be changing, for I hadn't fallen in love with the body in the first place. I am gay; I seeked him out not for his body, but for the person behind the mask, who loved me unconditionally and aided me through all of my life's struggles, of which there are many. I accepted him, calling him by his pronouns, his new name, and doing my best to make him comfortable.

    I experienced fear, but only because his body and voice - which I'd grown so accustomed to - would be changing once he began transition. I was worried that he would become unfamilliar; but one thing doesn't change: a person's heart.

    Ultimately, I learned that it's my duty to be there for him always; I learned that my love needs to be steadfast and that it can't waver. He needs me just as much as I need him; we serve as life-lines for each other, and can only thrive with each other.

    Love, to me, is blind to gender. Although I'm gay, and am only attracted to the male body, I fell in love with a biological female. I knew that I could spend my life with him like that, a woman, because I cared infinitely about him. Now, I know he is a man, and nothing has changed.

    I will encourage him and support him until my light stops. And even then I hope he clutches onto me, hears my voice in his ear when he's burdened, and knows that I loved him unquenchably and irrevocably.

    That's love.

Rib cages are meant to protect our hearts,
Shield them from possible danger.
I must not have received that part,
For pain has been no stranger.

I think it shriveled up,
As it met the the cruelty of life,
Met the guilt that comes with death,
The emptiness that comes with strife.

What does that make me,
To exist without a heart?
It means I am nothing,
My life has lost its art.

The moon's glow holds nothing special tonight,
As someone so brilliant glimmers before my eyes.
It is captivating the way green eyes sparkle in moonlight,
The way rosy lips lightly release quiet sighs.

I am transported to other places, when there I gaze,
And you remain at my side wherever I roam.
You peel away the pain that has lingered like a haze,
Deciding that you will never leave me alone.

And on quiet nights, when there are no sounds in the air,
My mind wanders to the holder of my love.
Ponders green eyes that mesmerize as they stare,
Invalidating the glowing moon above.

I close my eyes on those quiet nights, and you appear,
Existing beside me to calm my shaking form.
Your embrace vanquishing my fear,
Calming this tumultuous storm.

Beer has a grotesque taste,
Which sneaks into the back of my throat
Once the cold liquid is against my lips.
My body shakes, I take small sips.

This is her favorite,
This is her drink of choice;
My stomach lurches when I swallow,
And regret shortly follows.

What has become of me?
I am seeking understanding of
Something entirely foreign to me,
As if it will somehow set me free

Battered,
And broken,
Blood is my token.

Abused,
And scorned,
Words pricking like a thorn.

Bleeding,
And rocking,
The insane voices are talking.

Guzzling,
And yelling,
His soul she is felling.

Dying,
Being quiet,
A million voices riot:

"She was so kind,
The best of the best".
But I just weep,
For I finally have rest.

Whenever I must add new people to my life,
I feel that it is my duty to be my most likable version,
And because of that, I wear makeup, straighten my hair,
And lose myself in aesthetic immersion.

I feel better when I feel pretty,
And that breaks my heart.
I never thought my happiness,
Was such a simple and vain art.

When others slam the door,
You close it with gentle hands.
When others scream at the air,
You focus on your plans.

Explosive anger consumes many,
They react in the most unenviable way,
It is disheartening that they can lose themselves so,
As they live immersed in their day-to-day.

Be higher, choose to concentrate,
Know that you are the key holder for your fate.

When others slam the door,
You close it with gentle hands.
When others scream at the air,
You focus on your plans.

What words should I have?
What can I possibly say?
What will ease your concerns,
Better your agonizing day?

The truth is, as long as pain continues,
And your muscles never mend,
You will never be at ease,
There will be no words I can lend.

You make the pain, my mother,
As long as you accept drink as lover,
The pain is not going to cease,
You will never recover.

These are the words I have found,
There you are, my sweet mother,
Now it is your decision, make the choice,
Are you done or will you have another?

Winter trembles on the horizon,
Afraid to return to humankind.
People hate because it's cold,
But to turn it away is to be blind.

The grasp of tragedy is powerful,
Insurmountably bonded to our lives.
Terrorizing our very dreams,
Prickling at our spines like knives.

Outstretch your hands to the snow,
Coax it into your embrace.
We have all known the cold,
We have all been to that place.

Do you know how it feels to writhe in this heat?
When you are frozen inside?
To see the lives of others continue,
While you struggle not to cry.

Equilibrium will be reached when snow is abundant,
Blanketing the ground like a flowing sheet of paper.
When the warmth recedes to another place,
When breath spills from lips like vapor.

Winter trembles on the horizon,
Afraid to return to humankind.
People hate because it's cold,
But to turn it away is to be blind.

I change each year just a little,
Shedding the skin I grew to know.
That's part of growing up,
You reap what you sow.

I have freedom now,
But I miss the structure of the past.
Does that make me weak,
To want something to last?

Things look different to me, now,
The world shifting around me.
I recognize none of this,
And yet memories only make me bleed.

Is it wrong to miss the chaos?
Is it wrong to want to go back?
I grew up in fear,
I was always under attack,

I'm not sure how to exist without the chaos.
I don't know how to make it through.
I used to have dreams, plans,
But deep down I knew.

This was my fate all along.
To forget myself at last.
Everything has fallen apart;
Turned to shattered glass.

You are a ghost,
In this world alone.
Searching for hope,
The kind you'll never know.

You are a fool,
Someone to be abused.
You are a tool,
Stick to the rules.

You are a shadow,
You are a freak show,
Love you will never know,
Straight to hell you will go.

You are a ghost,
In this world alone.
Searching for hope,
The kind you'll never know.