Dark wave pulling me under
Dark wave filling my lungs
Dark wave ceasing my breath
Dark wave holding me hostage
Battling them wicked demons
They puncture the fabric of my soul
Using their horns to injure and harm
Leaving my sanity in pieces and shreds
Opaqueness and void paints my everyday
Grey fog envelops my clarity
Storm clouds gather to drench me
And whisk me away in it's murky waters
I don't know who I am
I don't understand why I exist
If there is no purpose there is no point
Living is just a waste of time
It takes a lifetime to know someone.
Knowing someone is like plucking the petals of a rose,
Only to realize there is more to the picture.
Everyday I learn more and more about you;
You are one of those novels I will keep reading on my own till the last word.
Even though my friend gave me a spoiler,
I don't care, I will wait for the words to spell out of your mouth, off the pages I mean.
What if you are not the rose afterall?
what if you are like an onion,
whom I peel everytime trying to know you,
Only to realize my eyes are sobbing even more.
happy father’s day
to the man who stole my soul
you danced with the devil
and held my hand as you did
forced me to stand on your
unpolished shoes and sway
i sobbed as the song of life mocked me
happy father’s day.
Keeping thoughts at bay
Cracks and overflows
Please save me
Before I drown
I've been there before.
Where you are so hollow.
When you cant even feel the tears boil up
because you've cry so many times that your numb.
I just stare off as my world blurs and disappears in front of me
When melancholy besets
And memories strike
When roses lost in books
Turn into silver spikes
When you hear the sobbing sounds
From the walls of your room
And the world around you
Feels like a perpetual doom
When you feel that you’re trapped
And that you’re a lost cause
When people close to you
Laugh at your blemish and flaws
When you can not see a way
And all your hope disappears
I want you to read this poem
And know that someone cares
There are only two ways of which I know how to deal with the hurt.
The first way is simple.
For months my cheeks have remained permanently stained with invisible tears. The constant rivulets have become so part of me, my friends have stopped noticing. They don't ask what's wrong anymore.
Bottle after bottle of water I force myself to gulp down. Not to clear my skin, or keep in good health, but in response to the dehydration headaches, caused by crying too hard
for too long.
I thought I ran out of tears to cry, just a few short weeks ago. I felt no pain when I spoke his name. I did not feel that familiar drop in my stomach when I saw reminders of what we used to have.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I awoke the next morning, my eyes betraying my gentle sleep, the dream of that boy still fresh on the movie screen inside my head. It's quite jarring to wake up in tears, alone.
Turns out what I had hoped was me moving on, was just one of those days where I feel absolutely nothing.
Empty and numb.
i yearn for the day i think of you and the tears just don't come.
It is 9:52pm.
My better judgement has lost today, so I unlock my phone; typing his name in imessage.
It is 10:21pm.
I read through in silence, his messages a grim reminder of what once was.
It is 10:50pm.
Here they come, like an unwelcome guest. Hot and flowing, the tears pour and my breath quickens. No signs of soon stopping.
It is now 12:13am.
My phone lays dark on my bedside table. My gasping sobs cut through the air, muffled and pained. My sheets cover my head and entangle my body, the only comfort on nights like these.
Up and down. My chest rises at a slow and steady rhythm. The tears are finally dry, no longer staining my cheeks. The memory of him now slips into my dreams, like a ghost in my subconscious.
These nights come fewer and further between as time has passed.
I now truly know what it means to see everything in your life falling apart, and not being able to do anything about it.
I now truly know how it feels to see your mother break down in front of you, grieving about the happy life she once lived.
I now truly know what it looks like to see your father lose himself to his depression.
I now truly know that life has it's own course and it is inevitable that my family will find happiness.
I now truly know.
everything thing in my life is falling apart and i have no control over it.
I wish I wish with all my heart
To be someone’s sacred art
But unlike legends and fairytales alike
It’s not so linear, it’s a hike
I wish I wish to be invisible
When I enter a room to be easily resistable
But for some reason I can’t attain that
I wish I wish for a quick easy death
To never breathe another breath
But I guess I’m just too scared to jump