Scattered books and pens
A noose hanging from the roof
The ink running dry

I crave a dance
Not a hug,
Not a kiss or a delicate touch
But a dance
A red dress and a gentleman to take my hand
On a shinning dancefloor
On a trip outside the dimensions of this world
Where flying needs no wings
Where music feels like the gentle wind
I'd swirl and swirl
With my red dress flowing like the petals of a rose
Carried by the swift breeze
Till it come back
To you

A beat
It took no longer than a heart beat
Then all the memories were gone
But I could still recall
That it was a moment
A moment in which I knew
A moment in which I was whole
Was it a dream?
Was it a parallel universe God wanted me to see?
And the person I was in it, was that really me?

This life
It is too simple
Too plain For a person like me
A person who seeks experiences
Someone who chases her dreams
I wonder what it would feel like
To dive in crystal clear water
Or watch a beautiful landscape
To jump from an airplane
And feel the adrenaline rush through my veins
To sing with the crowd at a concert
And dance the night away
To sit by the bonefire
Hearing the sound of the crashing waves
To gaze at the stars in an open field
Or gaze at the northern lights
To get lost in a big city
To experience both safty and fright
To simply live
In a world that is much bigger than the walls of my room
Bigger than my empty passport
Bigger than this simple life I lead
In which I could only experience these things
Through a dream.

Nameless stranger
Come and be my friend
Let us explore this life together
Let us enjoy it before it ends
Read me your so many books
And I shall read you mine
To explore worlds beyond our reach
Worlds made up by authors minds'
Let us learn about ourselves
Let us learn about the world
A world so divine
Yet somehow brutal and cold
Nameless stranger
Come and take my hand
Tell me all your little secrets
And I shall tell you mine
Show me what are you hiding behind those fake smiles
And the pains you conceal behind pretentious happy eyes
Tell me how they broke your heart
And laughed out loud at your pains
And I will show you my broken parts
All the dreams that went in vain
Be careful from my sharp edges
I don't want to cause you another scar
Or add a new wound to your still bleeding heart
A nameless stranger
Yet you are no stranger at all
Those who have experienced agony
Can recognize souls as damaged as their own.

My sweet boy
I recall your first step
First word
Your Smiles and cries
The excitement in which you viewed a fly
Such a precious little thing you were
And now you're dead
Laid on a pavement, shot in the head
Eyes wide open, staring at the sky
Perhaps for one last time, you're searching for that fly.

I scream
But a world of deaf can not hear
A wail so loud piercing the night
Excruciating pain tearing at my heart
But a world of deaf can not hear
I bleed
But a world of blinds can not see
Crimson red, staining the bedsheets
Blood spattered across the streets
But a world of blinds can not see
I suffer
I’m battered and withered
But they choose not to see
They choose not to hear
My bleeding agony and silent screams
My bruised body and burning tears
I’m hurting
But a heartless world can not feel.

In a parallel universe
A universe of opprtunities and justice
A universes that gives people their rights
People would each follow a path
That truly represents what's in their hearts
Instead of a doctor
I'd be
A ballerina
An architect
An interpreter
A writer
I would be
All the dreams that were stolen from me
In a world so damaged
To fulfill a child's dream
Therefore it destroys the talents
Before it grow beyond its rein

Bare
For him to see
For him to touch and feel
Soft skin under his coarse finger tips
Stifled tears, and a lantern is lit
‘You owe him a laugh’ they said
‘A kiss and a dance in this pleasure night
For he had paid your price’
My price
three golden coins in the pocket of a man
Who kidnapped me when I was a mere child of nine
Who brought me to a house to be beaten and torn
then learn to obey,
I did, for I no longer had a soul
Bare
For him to see
For him to touch and feel
In this nights, and the many nights to be
A stranger with golden coins, A smiling girl with a heart that weeps.

They
They all deserve to die
To suffer as much as a brother who died
As much as a mother who was burned alive
As much as the nations they turned to ash
They
But they who?
The children of ancestors who's long been gone
Innocents beheaded for the crimes of the old
Lives sacrificed to vengece a crime occured decades ago
They
They who?
A question that people hardly try to look up an answer to
For it's answer too has been lost
In the graves of those who commited the wrongs
Yet
"they" remain
Yet the pain remains
So does anger, so does vengence
As bright as a burning flame

Everything was so horrible
That words stood beside me and gaped
At a life so cruel.

It felt beautiful
Like warm sun rays from within.

Liberty liberty
We chant
Peaceful peaceful
Our voices rise
Seeking a dream
Seeking a homeland
....
Blood blood
Is all I wipe
Eyes wide open
But they see no light
Chasing a dream
Chasing a homeland
....
Tears tears
Sobs and cries
Gone forever
My beautiful man
there is no dream
There is no homeland

Little boy
Who do you weep?
A father?
A mother?
A sister drowned in a river so deep
Little boy
Why do you weep?
the colorful holdiay has turned bleak
Happy children drowned
Corpses drifted along the stream
Dawn begun with joy
And the sun sat with grief
Little boy
Don't hide your tears
For the life you knew is gone for good
The pain, once so foriegn, is now close
Life, once smiling, has frowned
Family, oh how loving, has drowned
Little boy
Let me sit beside you and weep
A tragedy that dimmed the joy of Eid
The souls who flew toward the sky
Along with the smoke of festival's fire
Lit on mountain tops, so high.

One day
When God will resurrect the sleeping souls
I will search for you beneath the silver moon
And we’ll walk forward, hand in hand
To pay the price of our sin.

Once there was a sparkle
Lighten inside of me
It was bright like the beams of the sun
Small as a flame of a candle
But it filled me with light
With hope and love and dreams
It gave me wings when I could not fly
Carried me up and brightened my nights
It was so beautiful, so precious
Too small to be recognized
Then the storm came
Along with demons and beasts
Hatred, grudge, and fear
And they took my sparkle away
Leaving me in endless darkness
And unbearable cold
As they stole my only source of warmth
And now I search
In every face
In every sound and every touch
Trying to light my sparkle again
But dull souls, like wet woods
Can not be inflamed

Long hair, gleaming eyes
A girl playing in the roads
Free as a bird, as the flying wind
Alas, the girl has grown
She is no longer free
A woman now, at the age of thirteen
Obey your father
Obey your husband
Obey your future child to be
Long hair, gleaming eyes
A girl dancing in her room
Dreaming of a road, of a flying bird
Of a free girl she wishes to become

Her eyes were sky bound
Searching
For that specific shade of blue
For that shimmering silver hue
Reflecting of the lonely moon
Seaching
For that falling star
A celestial sign
To make a wish with tightly shut eyes
Searching
For a cotton shaped cloud
To play the childish game
Of turning it to images of rabbits and hounds
For shades of pink and peach
When the sun rises and when it goes to sleep
For God's smile
Among all that beauty
Her eyes were sky bound
When others lowered their eyes
For what beauty holds the soil
That is not held by the sky?

In a land  made of coal
And air filled with black smoke
Where the rivers so poluted
That no creature could live
And people filled with hatred
Till humanity no longer exist
Until one day
A star fell from the sky
Bringing down a heavenly spark
Then
in the mud grew a rose
And a single heart shined with hope
The wind brought breaths of fresh air
And the darkened night finally reached thier down
And that was more than enough
To restore the land to what it really was
Springs and rivers
Animals and fields
Lilac and lillies
Butterflies and deers
human sharing laughter and hearts
Forgetting thier disturbed times of the past
And I stand and stair
To the beauty of that image
With a wide smile
And question deep inside
Asking
 Will my heart ever bloom
Like the land in my dreams ?

Just a leaf
Remembering a time when it was a mere seed
Then it grew
Ventured through stem and roots
Up through entagled vines
Up till it could see the vast sky
A journey
Like yours and mine
In the roads of life, so entwined
In memories from soil to light
Then it fallls
And our journey comes to a halt
As the roads become no more
Back into the soil we return
next to a new seed ready to bloom

Some souls are tethered loosely,
At the slightest breeze their rope becomes undone
And up they soar.

"All those sweet creatures, why they have to die?" she wondered
"They are not sweet" they said
"But ..
But they are creatures".

Black
As coal
As moonless nights
As ebony trees and human hearts
Black is my life

Red
As the burning flames
As a lover's heart
The color of blood covering my hands
Color of ****** and innocent cries
Red is my life

Grey
As the long winter nights
And the ever lasting clouds
As the dull soul amid a crowd
And the ruins of a once beautiful town
Grey is my life
 
My life used to be filled with colors
every shade the eye could see
Then they were stolen one after the other
Until I was left with only three

Everytime I see a ballerina
It sparks a sense of yearning within me
Yearning for something that shall never be mine
Dance moves I shall never learn
And I'd feel my heart weep
As it recalls the child who once asked her mother to be a ballerina
And her mother said no
A 'no' that gave me a weeping heart, and a murdered dream.

They say music is forbidden
How dare they?
Didn't they know that life has its own music for those who listen,
The wind that brushed against the trees
The raindrops washing over the fields
The beautiful waves the hugs the shore
A child's laugh, and a loved one's voice
Imagine a world filled with silent
No melodies, no sounds
Only quiet
I see it gray, not even black or white
Without music, or colors so bright
God gave us gifts, he gave so many
Like love, music, and days that are sunny
So don't shut your mind and say it's forbidden
Open your heart, and just….. Listen!

I go around writing songs
Of love, hate, and fear
Humans' heart and childern's dreams
Lost among melodies and notes
Until you came
And put me in your song

Once, the story goes
A few decades or so ago
In a land of silence
A few people gathered to roar
Pity,
All they wanted was to make a sound
To read a poem, and sing aloud
Once, the story goes
A few decades or so ago
Silence was pierced for a brief moment
And scarlet red stained the ground.

She was different
Unique
In every meaning the word "unique" bears
She sought more colors
For all those in the world weren't enough for her
She sought more emotions
More love, more ache
She loved and loved
And lived searching for more
She was a seeker
A seeker for things that could not be found
Like purple eyes or angels' wings
Heavenly pure hearts
And the child beneath the skin of a man
A soul like hers didn't belong
But she adapted
She adapted to a world so pulloted
Without letting it contaminate her
Rebelling misery as water rebels grease
She fought battles hundred times her size
Coming out with scars
Which she wears like beauty marks
She was admirable
One couldn't help but stare at her
Wondering
How could it be
That such strenght and such tenderness can be combined
With a smile that doesn't fade
And a heart that shines
She lived
The way life should be lived
And when the day came and she had to die
The sky mourned her with a falling star

His love
Didn't feel crazy
Like butterflies and birds fluttering in my stomach
But rather tranquil
Like a blooming rose

A rainy wedding day
Music so loud
Beautiful bride dressed in white
And I, a mere child
Playing in the mud
Staining my new shiny tux
Among the children
Among dances and laughs
Colorful clothes and happy faces
Cars with ribbons all around
What wouldn’t I give
To return
To a rainy wedding day fifty years ago
To hug my parents who’s long been gone
And be a child with a mud stained shoe
To return, only for a day
To the place I once called home
And now is no more.

A child
Walking among life
A mere green field without designated paths
But a child has to grow
And the colorful paths began to take form
Red, yellow or blue?
What are you
A christian, muslim or jew?
I choose the green field
The child within me wants to roam free
With those who were abandoned by their paths
Together, we’ll walk barefoot on the grass
And live
And love
In a life bigger than roads and rules
Where children play with a rainbow colored rose
Unafraid, unchained,
For God is love

What is a sin?
A bare skin?
A lover and a room candle lit?
Forbidden touches and a gentle kiss
What is my sin?
You,
And for you
I'd forsake my chastity
My virtue
For an embrace
My bare chest for your hands to trace
To kiss
Forbidden kisses
They made passion an obscenity
And love a taboo
They made me a sinner
And my beautiful sin
Is you ...

I envy those who know what they want
Or those who don't, but have multiple shots
But here I am
With no desire, with no chances
Holding on to the dice with trembling hands
Gambling with my life.

Don't be greedy
You hasty girl
The words will come
It is your duty to wait for them
For they have chosen you

There once was a girl
With a basket full of dreams
Wearing a cape of hope
Walking to her grandma’s house on the other side of the wood
Her steps were brisk
The road was paved
With flowers grown on each side of the way
But as she walked the sunlight began to dim
And long black trees started to enclose the road
Her brisk movements became tardily steps
As she found herself lost deep in the wood
The heart of the wood was dark and foggy
Concealing a creature with sharp claws
Gleaming like two yellow jewels
Were the wolf’s perilous eyes
The eyes didn’t seek the girl
But the precious things she holds
A basket of dreams and a cape of hope
The wood was empty and the girl was scared
But the wolf, generously, gave her a choice
A sacrifice she must make
If she wanted to get out alive
She must give him the things dearest to her heart
She didn’t have a choice, or did she?
To yield peacefully or fight bravely
What do you think the little girl chose?
What would you if you were standing in her shoes?
Alone with a wolf in a ******* woods.

I wish I could fight
Hide behind the barricades and inhale the burning tear gas
I wish I could join you guys
Against a government that cares not whether we lived or died
I wish I could die
Although I so very much love this life
Maybe,
Perhaps then I could save a young boy’s life

We're standing on the opposite shores of a sea made of our differences
And we have no ships to sail across
We lost our love amid that sea
And into its depth
Sank our story and our memories
We were no divers
No swimmers or sailors
We were simple people who were afraid of water
Afraid to leave the safety of the land
And that fear costed us each other
When an earthquack set the land apart
How I wished you could come
Cross a bridge made of love
Plant a kiss on my cheek
And wipe away the farewell tears
But you never did
Nor was I brave enough to do it myself
We should have built a ship
Or overcame our fears and learned to swim
But instead we decided to quit
It is not you to blame
And it is not me
It is just the big blue sea
A sea, and a whole lot of fear.

if I die today
You wouldn’t know the decisions I made
Nor would you know my secret desire to change
You’d read the entries that I wrote
But find no meaning in the scripted words
For it resides in my deceased head
So many stories to be edited
And poems yet to be written
So many hugs to give
And kisses that were forbidden
You wouldn’t know the fears I faced
The dreadful night through which I was awake
Or the anger I once held towards the world
A world too blind to notice I was hurt
You wouldn’t know the love I held
For that specific shade of blue sky
And that specific scent with no name
That beautiful love I held for the world
And for myself as well
If I die today
I would die full
Of all what I was unable to give
With my stories and poems
My love and my kisses
And my peculiar thoughts about a more peculiar world
From which I gave to the world so little
But don’t mourn me much
For in that little that I gave
I still reside.
And I hope you will find me
Every time you see that shade of a blue sky

Who was he?
Sitting on a cliff overlooking the vast sea
A stranger,
The shadow of a man who once belonged to me.
...
Who was I ?
The girl staring from afar
A coward,
The shadow of a girl who once touched the stars.
...
Who were we?
Two lost souls drowning in a sea of our agony
Lovers,
Memories of stolen kisses in darkened streets.

"I'm right." says he
Says her, you, my friend and me
"right" stares from afar.

He once had an eye
That sought beauty in stars and trees
He once had a nose
That smelled aromas of his mother’s delicious meals
He once had lips
That kissed his beloved behind an old, dark street
He once had a pretty face
Beaming at the world
Yet they recognized his corpse
From his heart shaped tattoo.

Who am i ?
The girl who wants to ditch the scarf?
The one who lost her love for God?
The girl who once chased a dream?
Until forcefully shook awake from sleep
The girl that used to be so brave
Or the fearful coward she became?
The one who had a sparkle in her eyes
Now her eyes reflect her dull soul's cries
No dream. No hope. No love. No sparkle
Is there anything left to live for
If her life has lost all meaning
Why not she tries living no more?

Every dawn is a new beginning
Tears are wiped
Blood is washed away
The belongings of the fallen are gathered
Another addition to the martyr’s exhibition
Another name written on the wall
Another poster  and another beautiful face to mourn
Some jokes amid the grief
And the night comes again
Were candle light mixes with bullets sounds
another ten or so falls
Yet dawn comes again
And we rise
Stronger.

Dare I dream?
Of a far away shore
Golden sand hugging The crystal waves
Mermaids sitting on emerald stones

Dare I dream?
Of a far away land
A castle built with golden bricks
Its high tower kissing the clouds

Dare I dream?
Of a far away heart
That one day shall wander close
And fall in love with mine.

A moment
Fear struck, along with adrenaline
I hardly recall the steps I took
The words I spoke
The frantic way I looked,
But once the adrenaline faded away
Fear was left alone,
And it started devouring my soul

Instead of crying, she laughs
Pushing the tears back with a wide smile
Oh, wait!
Her tears don't even exist
They were pushed back over the years
Till they fell into her heart
She numbed her eyes over time
Until she found that she has no more tears to cry
In the time she needed a tear the most
Her eyes forbade it to form
Perhaps it was their punishment for her
For all the times they were filled with tears
Dying to fall down her cheeks
But she never let them
Too proud she was to let others see her tears
Or too coward, for her tears has now disappeared
Now the roles have turned
Now it's her soul that's crying a lot
Day and night
With each breath that rise
But with a very wide smile,
And a very dry eyes.

The wave looked small from a distance
But they stood beside us with their large ships
“We’ll fight” they said
“Together” they said
Then when it came with all its glory
There was no one left but us
Fighting the water with our small rickety boat.

A boy of sixteen
Head split open, scattered brain
A lonely school bag