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Iska May 12
I hate that I am eating.
I hate every bite, every swallow.
I hate every taste, every wrapper.
I hate the bile that raises in the back of my throat every time
I try to consume food.
I am so so very sick of it all.
So sick of needing to be high to even want to eat.
So sick of the feeling of being full
And I hate my need to be rid of it.
Of trying to force it to stay down
But secretly wishing that my ***** will drown me.
I hate myself when I do *****.
But I hate myself so much more when I don’t.
But they say I’m pretty
But they say I’m better
So why is it so hard
When every swallow is burning me alive
And every ***** makes me a liar.
And every skipped meal makes me a coward.
Al-Sayyari Feb 9
I drown,
Under a wave of self loathing,
even though,
I'm an excellent swimmer
Cambria Andersen Oct 2018
I loath the part of me,
that cannot intercede,
with the part of you-
that has no need
for me.
Again, this was such a hard time for me. I learned so much though, that has helped me grow and stretch as a person. I am not a pushover any more and have become assertive. I understand that love fades sometimes and that holding on tighter makes it all the worse. It's best to take the lessons you've learned from that person and move forward.
Ash Sep 2018
You know those films on movies where they flip the table
Throw things around and scream obscenities at everyone
Well this is exactly what I would do,if my life was a movie
Instead I the prey sit here hiding all the anger trapped inside
Instead I the prey take a walk stay silent taming it all in
Instead I the prey fall prey every time to the predators bait

You know that feeling you get when you are disgusted by yourself
Trying to conjure up where everything went wrong?
How you can change things?
What to do not to repeat the same mistake?
When you finally think I got this,you repeat the same thing
Only to get things actually have gotten worse
Well that feeling of disgust is not funny

You know that feeling you get when realize how naive you've been
When you realize all the anger that you have is because:
You just couldn't let go
You held onto your ideas so strongly,you couldn't see the others
You loved someone to much but didn't love an ounce of yourself
You listened to all the negative people
You felt all the negative energy and let it consume you
Yeah well I can tell you how pathetic and joyful realizing that will make you feel

I put you on top
So far up there
When I need you the most
When I come to collect my fingers caught ***** first,
Then I stretched a little further and got hate
I stretched a little further and got unfaithfulness
I stretched and got pain so much pain and anger
When I almost gave up I got me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
So I'll give you this I love you always will
Even though you shattered me
Though I love you more because you dear
Returned me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
This poem is a get way of some sort,I wrote it with a lot of anger at first as clearly seen in the first stanza but as I was writing,spilling this words out I realized my problem all the anger morphed into something else better than crying or being angry all the anger towards the person towards my situation turned to getting me back with a sprinkle of wisdom ,now I just wished I had done this earlier which shows what I meant by not loving an ounce of myself since I listen to others more than I listened to me,I loved and wanted to be loved more than I had love for myself,always doing what they want to please them always holding so firmly to my philosophies that I broke every single time things didn't go how I idealized them,So this is just what this poem above is about it took this final straw just when I thought things couldn't get worse only for them too for me to get me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
Sarah Sep 2018
Black
As coal
As moonless nights
As ebony trees and human hearts
Black is my life

Red
As the burning flames
As a lover's heart
The color of blood covering my hands
Color of ****** and innocent cries
Red is my life

Grey
As the long winter nights
And the ever lasting clouds
As the dull soul amid a crowd
And the ruins of a once beautiful town
Grey is my life
 
My life used to be filled with colors
every shade the eye could see
Then they were stolen one after the other
Until I was left with only three
The Unsung Song Apr 2018
While staring into the wall ahead of me,
I think of nothing.
I think of myself; nothing.

I am nothing to the world.
I am without significance,
I am without meaning.

While staring into the wall ahead of me,
I think of nothing.
I have been having a lot of issues with confrontation recently.
The Unsung Song Mar 2018
You.
Exhaust.
Me.

From your words,
to your body language,
to your ******* presence.

You.
Exhaust.
Me.

I live day to day,
dreading talking to you.
I live day to day,
scorning you.

The only reason I tolerate you,
is because I have to.

You.
Are.
Me.

I live day to day,
dreading waking up.
I live day to day,
shying away from mirrors.

I.
Exhaust.
Myself.
Samantha Marie Sep 2017
I detest your creation,
despise the thought of you,
loath your existence,
resent your continuous.
9/5/17
But you and I know that is the untruth
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