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Harry Roberts Sep 2020
I couldn't bear to see it sink and fade into the black
Thinking back to brighter things but nothing seems to distract
I love you like I loath you and I can't get over that.

I left my cares on the counter when I picked up my keys
Slammed the door shut because I couldn't believe
People portray purity when their minds are diseased
Just expect to get not a thanks or a please.

Disenchanted by the dirt
Emboldened by the lies
Should this **** still hurt
When I want to say goodbye.

It's the personality leaving bodies like casualties you hurt all you touch and cause fatalities
Reared on a downward ***** so you can't help the decline
Calamity feels safer then balance when structure is maligned.

I left my feelings in a box weighed down with rocks by our spot on the docks
I couldn't chuck it in but I wouldn't take it back
I couldn't bear to see it sink and fade into the black
Thinking back to brighter things but nothing seems to distract.

I love you like I loath you and I can't get over that.
Harry Roberts
Clay Face May 2020
Tease me,
Never please me.

Denial my only hope.
Enslavement a burden to cope.

Bosoms, Vaginas, legs, stomachs, bellies, chests, armpits, hair. Hair everywhere.
Let me drool over you, you shower in it.
Not to cleanse.
It dribbles down your cheeks into your mouth.
It’s flavor is sweet and addictive.
You’ve been blessed with so much to ponder.
Those who don’t gaze are self protective.
Although you poses such to be admired.

Tease me,
Never please me.

Denial my only hope.
Enslavement a burden to cope.
Clay Face Mar 2020
The hate you keep inside won’t help you float.
But you cling to it, so below you.

Push it under you, to get above the waves.
But eventually the swell will drag you to hell.

Cling to it so below you.
It’s weight will stretch your arms.
Drag you down.

Down into the undertow. Against progress.
So vile, repugnant and insipid. You rot.
Your fingernails leave scars on hate.
You cling to it so.
But shout opposed to such accusation.

Now low enough the crash of the waves blind you.
Squinting through their spray, you struggle.
Treading in denial as you try to pull your hate to breast.

I’d reach out to you, if your hate wouldn’t drag us down together.
And we’d be clinging to something so below you.
Clay Face Feb 2020
I’ve fallen through a stage. Call it a phase, but I lay here sick. I don’t remember eating butterflies, but I need to purge. This loathing is my ailment. The misdirection of it, and the essence of it. But I’ve fallen out just know, and I realize that part of my spin is through. I can start a new.

I need someone too sink into me. I need her head, laid upon my chest. To hear her breath within mine, would be the best. Warm my cold loneliness, through her *******. Her beauty infests. Comfort me, as I spew, apostatize, and change view. Lay my hand upon her back, pull her tightly.

I’m not ready for, ***. Nor is my stomach ready to digest. I’m in need of comfort, a new mind in my head. Lonely and resent, replace and repent. I cry for help silently, I ignore my weeps. Stand in nothing, take no action too. I need her arms around me, weak and feebly. I’ll sink into her arms, melt into infancy. I need to be alone with someone else, besides me.

Hear my cry, weakly. I’ve never been with someone, feeling.
Alifmun Jul 2019
I saw a person
Said to him "eww"
Nobody likes you
You shouldn't exist
You antisocial freak
Try having some friends
I punch him
Only to see
Broken mirrors
Loath to self loath
StoryTallinn Jun 2019
A mind attracted by the peaks
while the feet want to climb mountains
Divided and consumed
Lights and darkness

Voices that should have been shut
Doors that should have been closed
Demons that keep coming back
Same old habits

An ephemeral light in the night
Enough hope to carry on
Transforming loathe into love and laugh
Discovering that change is the greatest source of energy
Iska May 2019
I hate that I am eating.
I hate every bite, every swallow.
I hate every taste, every wrapper.
I hate the bile that raises in the back of my throat every time
I try to consume food.
I am so so very sick of it all.
So sick of needing to be high to even want to eat.
So sick of the feeling of being full
And I hate my need to be rid of it.
Of trying to force it to stay down
But secretly wishing that my ***** will drown me.
I hate myself when I do *****.
But I hate myself so much more when I don’t.
But they say I’m pretty
But they say I’m better
So why is it so hard
When every swallow is burning me alive
And every ***** makes me a liar.
And every skipped meal makes me a coward.
Al-Sayyari Feb 2019
I drown,
Under a wave of self loathing,
even though,
I'm an excellent swimmer
Cambria Andersen Oct 2018
I loath the part of me,
that cannot intercede,
with the part of you-
that has no need
for me.
Again, this was such a hard time for me. I learned so much though, that has helped me grow and stretch as a person. I am not a pushover any more and have become assertive. I understand that love fades sometimes and that holding on tighter makes it all the worse. It's best to take the lessons you've learned from that person and move forward.
Ash Sep 2018
You know those films on movies where they flip the table
Throw things around and scream obscenities at everyone
Well this is exactly what I would do,if my life was a movie
Instead I the prey sit here hiding all the anger trapped inside
Instead I the prey take a walk stay silent taming it all in
Instead I the prey fall prey every time to the predators bait

You know that feeling you get when you are disgusted by yourself
Trying to conjure up where everything went wrong?
How you can change things?
What to do not to repeat the same mistake?
When you finally think I got this,you repeat the same thing
Only to get things actually have gotten worse
Well that feeling of disgust is not funny

You know that feeling you get when realize how naive you've been
When you realize all the anger that you have is because:
You just couldn't let go
You held onto your ideas so strongly,you couldn't see the others
You loved someone to much but didn't love an ounce of yourself
You listened to all the negative people
You felt all the negative energy and let it consume you
Yeah well I can tell you how pathetic and joyful realizing that will make you feel

I put you on top
So far up there
When I need you the most
When I come to collect my fingers caught ***** first,
Then I stretched a little further and got hate
I stretched a little further and got unfaithfulness
I stretched and got pain so much pain and anger
When I almost gave up I got me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
So I'll give you this I love you always will
Even though you shattered me
Though I love you more because you dear
Returned me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
This poem is a get way of some sort,I wrote it with a lot of anger at first as clearly seen in the first stanza but as I was writing,spilling this words out I realized my problem all the anger morphed into something else better than crying or being angry all the anger towards the person towards my situation turned to getting me back with a sprinkle of wisdom ,now I just wished I had done this earlier which shows what I meant by not loving an ounce of myself since I listen to others more than I listened to me,I loved and wanted to be loved more than I had love for myself,always doing what they want to please them always holding so firmly to my philosophies that I broke every single time things didn't go how I idealized them,So this is just what this poem above is about it took this final straw just when I thought things couldn't get worse only for them too for me to get me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
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