i hate
everything
i hate
social media
i hate
myself
i hate
my body
i hate
this world
i hate
this pain
it will not end
no matter how much i try
it always comes back
to make me cry.

The party lives here no longer,
And happiness has gone its own way.
The shadows are taller,
And there is nothing left for this day.

It's done, I tell you,
It's what I always say.
There's no more fun, and no more games to play.

The sunshine has left,
And the stars seem dim.
There are no memories to be kept,
And the Cauldron of Void is filled to its brim.

It's done, I tell you,
It's what I always say.
There's no use in wishing the rain away.

The children have lost their toys,
And the couples feel no desire.
The music becomes noise,
And burning in their hearts is a dying fire.

It's done, I tell you.
It's what I always say.
I can't feel your love, I apologize for the delay.

It’s hard
Knowing you shared your soul with someone else.
Knowing you offered everything to someone else.

It’s hard
Knowing you looked at her the way you look at me
It’s hard
Knowing you desired her the way I hope you desire me.

It’s hard
Knowing you loved her as much as you love me.
It’s hard
Knowing you looked at pictures of her
And felt the way you do
When you look at pictures of me.


It’s hard
Knowing you appreciated someone
Like you appreciate me.

I wanted to ask--
Have you been burning well?

you said you'd come clean,
but i know it's not easy.

you left behind emptiness--
confusion and hollowness,

as we all shuffle about in gloom,
the gloom of remembering you.

maybe it's stupid, after all, i never knew you,
but i distantly care...i do.

you give me hope--
a way to cope.

i almost feel like
your voice is my home.

joy, i’m joyous.


smile, i’m happy.


kiss, love is definitely near.


embrace, clear is my mind.




if you’re reading this right now,


he left me behind.

one day
the dark left
and the clouds parted
it was the smallest separation
of Heaven's lips

the light passed
through the thin line of sun
a beam cutting through the cream-colored sky
the soft glow
of the rays upon your cheeks

the warmth brushed
against your soft skin lightly
a whisper of hope
and a lullaby of love


slowly,
surely,
i will let you in
again

Life

I don’t need to think too much about living.

Wake up,
Same time,
And I’m going to school again.

Enter the classroom in a daze
Trying to meet your gaze.
But I don’t,
And now,
I can finally say that’s okay.

I live off of calculating what people want me to say.
Laugh when she laughs,
Smile when he smiles.

I make up answers on my school assignments—
I don’t care anymore.

I’m so tired—
Shut the door.

The endless morning comes again—
I don’t want it to drag by.

The weekend loses its impact—
It’s all too saddening anyway.

Because I have to be without you
For a longer day.

I bite back my tears in class.

No, it’s not some ******* hormones.

No, it’s not my ******* age.

I can’t laugh.

I can’t smile.

It hurts too much.

As I sit there,

a    l   o    n   e,

The recurring feeling of intense nausea sweeps over me—
Encapsulating my body,
And completely penetrating me.

Go through the motions—
Get cheered up by my friends.

But when I see you,
The feeling returns again.

I care for you.
I love you and hug you and—




that’s





what makes it




worse.

Go home,
Long day.

Ask how I’m doing,
And it’s the same thing I say.

Stay up till two in the morning—
Watching shows until they’re boring.

Get four hours of sleep,
Repeat the cycle again.

I try to change the cycle.

And sometimes, I do.


But it all just starts back up again.


I wish it was all something I could understand.

It all seems to be getting to my head.


God—


If this is what living feels like,











I’d rather be dead.

Your light
Burns through me.

And a sudden throbbing fills me
When you look at me.

Your light,
Almost penetrating me,
Bores holes into my body that lays here without use.

My body broken,
Healing is too late to the
Appointment—

Too late to make a change in my worsening condition.

However, my soul has not been lost.

Make it shine one more time.


And before me you stand,
As if answering my unspoken command.

Carefully,
You guide your thick shell off your body.

Slowly,
You reveal yourself to me.

Light shines in through the window,
Slowly penetrating my pores.

But when I behold you,
I am entombed in a comforting darkness.

You lunge toward me,
Forcing your fragile body forward lustfully.

I cannot resist,
For your darkness calms me—
Entrances me.


And then you shed your final skin.

The true you has emerged,
Thrusting your naked spirit upon my body,
(Filthy with sorrow.)

I behold,
The ****** Innocence coming upon me.

I have lost my chastity to sons of the “evil being”.

No more innocence,
I am the ***** *******.

But this experience brings upon me
A different feeling,
Like that of deeply sleeping.

I draw myself closer,
Where your lips whisper.

I do not need to know what they say,
For I already know the words.

Our fingers intertwining,
Our spirits violently colliding,
I lose myself in the detail of your spirit.

No pain is felt when you are near,
For you are the one I hold dear.

You have lost your sense of indulgent chastity to the likes of me,
A worthless piece of filth with renewed purpose.

Linen and lace
Cover my face,
But they are burning.

We set fire to the peaceful smile,
The quiet enjoyment.

We ignited the fuse,
That we didn’t notice
When it called our names

Here,
With you,
I do not seek truth,
nor forgiveness.

I do not seek my lost chastity or body.
I simply seek you.

Our souls marred from the fire,
We do not care what we look like.

For as the linen burns,
As the fuse ignites,
As the trees stir in the wind,
As electricity is generated up in the clouds above,

We simply dance together,

Rhythmic and beautiful,


Even under all these lies.

i like it when
i force the wet out of your burning eyes

i like it when
your soul breaks at the sleight of my hand

i like it when
your smile fades away from your beautiful face

i like it when
you throw yourself at me so desperately

i like it when
you miss me like i miss feeling you
beneath my fingers
underneath my weight
behind the curtain
coughing up love
bleeding out care
and screaming with happiness

i like it when
we play hide and seek
and when i leave
you never know where to find me
maybe i'm at the bar
maybe i'm making you jealous
maybe i'm making love

maybe i'm delusional
maybe i'm irrational
maybe i'm weird
maybe i'm scary
or maybe this is what you call love

I remember that placid night...
Sitting in my room alone.
Something inside me was filled with fright,
Knowing that there was no one to phone.

And I suddenly hungered, ached, desired—
That animalistic feeling,
That urge left unhindered—
That lustful tingling.

A lust I lusted after,
But to no avail.
My lonely heart started beating faster,
But all I could do was wait and wail.

I felt choked up,
Stifled beyond belief.
I felt like I had dealt with enough,
And I needed to help my soul breathe.

A lust I had lusted after,
Longing for that forgotten feeling.
But my hopes were useless chatter,
No one could hear my silent pleading.

I felt so very hopeful—
Hopeful and excited.
But I was left feeling wistful,
With my lust uninvited.

Clouds are on the horizon,
Forming a gray crown
On this soggy day.

It looks like rain.

The mountains off in the distance—
They glow with a bright light.
A light that fills me with unease.

And as slow as a millisecond without you,
The clouds are above me,
Their masked faces scheming above my head.

There is that silent moment—
That moment when all falls still.
The wind slows,
(So slow, but abrupt in secret)
The light dims,
(The absence of light makes you feel tired, but it does so by slipping it slowly under your pillow in the deepest hours of the night)
And all is eerie, but peaceful.

Then I am caught by surprise
As little droplets of rain fall to the Earth.

And then, I accept peacefully—
The rising intensity in what becomes a downpour.

The downpour mixes with my emotions,
Which flood out in the form of tears.

Good thing it’s raining, huh?

Good thing no one can tell that I continue to cry.

But the tears come out with a desolate smile.

And through the mist I swear I see

Someone else who exists

Other than me.


It’s beginning to look like a storm.

The storm is grueling at first—
Traversing the mountains isn’t so easy.

But then, as I reach the peak I see

Someone else who exists

Other than me.

The rain continues,
Covering me.
But it’s okay.

For you are there at the end of the day.

But just like the boats
In a stormy sea that sway,
It is hard to understand these feelings
Everyday.

and come with me, baby
we will fade into obscurity.
the fog swirls with us
as we dance away from the sun

there is nothing more romantic
than death on a sunday night
i long to be right
to win a fight

i am trapped in a limbo
waiting, expecting
only to be put down
like a miserable puppy buried in the ground.

kiss me quickly
for our time leaves soon
and before you know it, it’s noon
and before you know it, you see the moon

monday morning and misery
but this is no regular apathy
this is a different kind, more gloomy
the sadness in my soul is more roomy

tell me, my lover
why must we live?
why must we suffer?



i have nothing more to give

darling,

i



finally feel comfortable with my naked body...








i truly would like you to see.

i'm done with these machines.
they didn't do anything for me.

i could always hear them screaming,
but it never mattered to me.

i'm wiping all the servers,
they won't go on any further.

i'll pull out all the wires...
burn it all in a fire.

i'll take a hammer to them all
knock them over, let them fall.

i won't bother to re-write their codes...
i'll cut off access to their nodes.

i'll let them all fall apart.


truthfully,


i know i broke her heart.

i smile
but the man in the corner
begs to differ
so i cry
and he, in turn
smiles.

the floor is cold
as i sit naked on it
knees to my chest
crying, weeping for days

and the voices get closer
and it comes to a ******
and then i take my medication
and go to work

no more noise
no more men
i brought her home
but forgot my medication

i slipped up again
i answered their question aloud
she ran
i never wanted to scare her
i just wanted to love her
but she ran like all the rest

i stared at the door
and i saw him flash in the corner
i turn
but he is nowhere

so i beg them to come back
but there is silence
and nothing more

do you know the loneliness that resides within?
do you see the sadness tainting my gin?
do you feel the blackness of my sin?
would you let their darkened sorrow win?

of course you wouldn’t; you’re a warrior—
strong and tall in the face of adversity.
everything happens for a reason, you say,
and you believe in god.

all i want right now
is to be like you.
all i want right now
is to think like you.
all i want right now
is to be strong like you.

but, instead, i crumble.
i fall to my knees and mumble.
my thoughts run wild and i tumble
into the bowels of thunder that rumbles.

just when i want to get better
the thoughts come back to get me.

and now i am trapped
and i kiss Misery’s feet.

It is morning,
And the sun shines again.

It is morning,
And the crippled man rises from his wheelchair for the first time.
He falls, but that experience isn’t worth a dime.

It is morning,
And for the first time, the depressed girl sits up in her bed.
She lays back down again, her mind
(thoughtlessly)
open.

It is morning,
And the miserable lot of souls heading to work
Look up into the sky,
Even if it means burning their weary business eyes.


It is morning,
And the ill-fallen girl raises her hand to the sky.

Her hope is renewed



                    one

last
                                         time.

chills.
shaking.
sweating.
insecure.
normal.
can’t stop thinking.
obsessive.
disorder.
compulsive.
no real problems.
doesn’t care
even though he says he does.
bite back tears.
smile but you can’t.
meaningless noise.
it’s all in your head.
want acceptance.
can’t get it.
all in your head.
can’t face monsters under your bed.
past wounds opening up.
bleed.
don’t like how they look at him.
don’t wanna sleep.
feel imperfect.
wish i was perfect.
small things get to me.
wish i had her body.
wonder if he’d like me more if—





what if—






what could—





why is—






how does—




they don’t—




does he—





i wonder—





not alone.
have someone.
not enough.
greedy *****.
hold internal grudges.
mind can’t get enough.
it feeds of corpses of past feelings.



swallows you up.
try not to cry.
smile and laugh.
talk and eat.





try to swallow it up,
but it eats you alive.
a parasite
destroying you from inside.
if you can acknowledge it’s root,
you will someday understand—



the key to happiness—



it’s right in your hand.







“but









why do i keep losing it, mother?”






“sometimes, you need to get the fog out of your mind.”




“how do i get the fog away?”





“face your problems,



even if it’s to your dismay.”





“but mother, i know this. it seems really easy. could you please stop with these riddles,
and help me find that key?”





“but honey all i’ve got to say is,






some kids have lost the key,




but try to find it on their own.





you are a weakling, as they say.




















stop crying about how hard it is
to live your easy day.”

I remember the days when you were a little child going off to kindergarten.

I remember the days when you’d trip on the sidewalk and your shoe would fall off.

You cried and whined and sometimes I got tired.

I remember getting upset with you, and putting you in time out.

I remember breast-feeding you and making sure you didn’t cry.

I remember yelling at you because you almost started a fire.

I also remember rocking you gently in my arms and singing softly into your ear.



When you were three, you ate chocolate pudding and slathered it all over your face.


When you were eleven, you yelled at me and told me you hated me.


When you were fifteen, you had your first boyfriend, and I cried.




When you were a baby, I remember the softness of your little hands in mine, and your delicate eyelashes as you rested.


When you were five, I remember you making me a drawing for Mother’s Day and writing, “You are the best Mommy in the world,” on it.


When you were thirteen, I remember you laughing and making jokes with me.


When you were sixteen, I remember you getting your driver’s license and taking me out to eat.


When you were seventeen, I remember talking and laughing and crying and having a deep conversation with you.



And now you’re all grown up.


You’re an adult in the eyes of society.



But in my eyes, you’re still my sweet little baby.


You want to rebel and dye your hair.


And that’s fine.


You want to spray paint the wall of your room and blast music all night.


And that’s fine.


You also want to move out.


Through all those tough times,
Through all that hardship,
Through all the times you said, “I hate you!”
And all the crying,


We still love each other.


I still love you.


And I know you have a car and a boyfriend and are going after your passion.


That’s great.


I know it’s great.


But why don’t I feel great?


I feel so selfish right now—it’s something so big for you—such a big step in your life.



But I hate it.


You’ll be moving out.


You’ll be with him.


You’ll be together.


But you won’t be with me.



I want you to be with me.


I miss holding you in my arms on all those sleepless nights.


I miss your cute little voice as a toddler.


I miss your care-free attitude and ease of living.



I miss you,
But you’re not even gone.


It hurts to see you packing up all those boxes.

It hurts to see you say goodbye to your friends.


Why am I so selfish?


Why can’t I be happy for you?


Well, I am. But at the same time, I can’t get over it. I can’t.


You’re leaving.


You’re leaving—


And you’ll be without me.


I know you can take care of yourself,


But part of me still worries you’ll leave a light on for too long or



You’ll get too drunk or



You’ll do drugs or



You won’t keep up with your rent or




Why am I doubting you?



Or maybe I’m just doubting myself.


Maybe I’m doubting my ability to find a reason to live without you.


Maybe I’m doubting my ability to be happy for you.


Maybe I’m just



Doubting my existence.


I don’t want you to go.



I don’t want you to go.


I don’t want you to leave me.



I don’t want you to leave.



Please don’t leave.




Please.











Please.










Don’t leave me at this bottomless pit alone









With no one left to love.













◦

everything was so mundane,
no sound,
no name.

the silence watched over us like a hawk,
resting it’s talons on the trees above.

there was no thud,
no beat,
no reverb.

the machines did not whir,
or click,
or crackle.

the strings never hummed,
the girl never sang,
and the child never played.

neurons following a set circuit,
run,
stop,
go.

the sun always set,
yet it had never risen.

hardwired to the equipment,
but the machine never worked,

because the processor was coated in a mundane molasses.

moving through gray honey,
black and white retinas perceive gray things
for our slow-moving hands to paint.

the words were the same,
the day never changed,


it was, and always will be
the same.

we are holding hands, and
there’s that look on your face again and i...
i wish there was something i could do for you,
my love,
my life.

i want to give you
what you’ve given me.
i want to bless you
as you blessed me with that
****** curse of desire.

i want to touch you
the way you touched me that night.
i want to kiss you,
so you’ll miss me
like i miss you.

darling, i...
i wanna love you.

if you’re feeling down or lonely,
pardon me because
i’ll kiss you till you forget it all.

baby, i remember when you told me you loved me
under the stars and the moonlight of that night.

i want to hold you like you held me.
i want to hug you like you hugged me.

my love,
my life,
i’ll share your strife.

there was always that something—
that something about you.
that something that killed me because
you loved her and not me.

but now, baby,
you’re mine so
let me make it count.

love isn’t always just emotional, you know?

sometimes, on the nights that i’m alone, i curse myself for thinking such ***** things.

but i must confess,

i have lustful desires and

i want to be able to
act on them
one day.

my love,
my life,
i promise i won’t waste your care—
your touch, or
your taste, your feel
away.




thank you.

as i walk upon this ground—
your ground,
i suddenly miss you,
my native brothers.

the oak trees twist and turn
signaling the return of my soul
and the loss of yours

on behalf of my kind, i truly apologize
we stole your land
and murdered you all

your statement was right—
no one can own the Earth.
we have tried,
and look where it brought us.

now we are burning up
at the expense of prosperity
and sacrificing longevity

native american blood
flows deeper, beyond fossil fuels
underneath the fracking
there’s truth buried somewhere

i can feel it, i definitely can
i wish i could scream to everyone,
“they were right!”

i wish i could scream to everyone
i wish i could bleed myself
to show them what we have lost...
to show them who you have lost.

native american blood
dries and coagulates accordingly
to our war rules

native american blood
flows no longer
stagnant in our marginalized hearts

native american truth
was our last hope

and in the words i find
no comfort as i crawl
away to my demise
sad eyes glued to a device

no poem in months
no one seemed to notice
that i missed out on the fun
and that i had nowhere to run

tags and labels
hoping i'll be noticed
but my attempts come to no avail
and my imagination has gone stale

romance is bleak
i'm not sure what to say
care is obsolete
love is incomplete

music is all i'm good for
and that's not even enough
so i sit here on the floor
begging them to shut the door

well, since there is no end in sight
maybe i will end this here
if i may and if you might
turn away if this gives you fright

what's left to say?
nothing's here
what's left to hold?
it feels so wrong

there's no way to talk
it's all gone
my hope is dim
barely hanging on
like a *****'s limb

You make me feel like I’m nothing

(But I love you)

I would express my anger,

But I don’t want to hurt you.

Frightful and paranoid
The fear begins to set in
But then I remember
There is no one outside
There is nothing within.

The snow falls
On my naked body,
White covering
My open wounds.

The light leaving my eyes,
This is a blessed demise.
My blood running cold,
I no longer feel old.

My skin,
Pale with cold.
My hands,
Numb and old.

My wrinkles
Fade to nothing
As I begin my descent
Into mourning.

I suddenly feel saddened
That it must end so soon—

But then I remember
I am not the youthful girl I used to be
That December.

My moment of recall begins to fall,
Like a fragile ember.
I do not feel like I did
That December.

I was able to accomplish so much
Yet—
So little
In my wide-span life.

So much—
Because I met my first love,
Had my first kiss,
And was someone to miss.

But so little—
Because everyone can do those things.

No, so much—
Because all those little things
Make great things for me.

I realize that life is a fragile hourglass.
Some clumps in the sand might slow it down,
But the result is still the same.
I solemnly find out
That this is the end of my game.

And after all this time—
After all these years—

I remember.

The best thing,
The most beautiful thing,


Was that one day.
That one day,
When I fell in love with you.

The moment in my life most worthy to remember—


Was that day,



That December.

It pushes everyone away.
It ruins all my relationships.

I died at the hands of my thoughts today.

He tells me that he loves me,
He tells me that it’s okay,
But they won’t let me believe it.

is love real?
is happiness real?
is anything real?
because at this rate, it might all just be fake.


in fact,

that’d be better, because then i wouldn’t have to feel this pain.

I said it was okay.
I said it was just another stupid delay.

I didn’t tell you


How much I cried that day.

For once, the day was okay.
For once, my soul wasn't at dismay.
For once, the sky wasn't gray.

The darkness had faded into happiness,
And the sun came back to life.
The garden was no longer filled with dreariness,


And I
Began to live

Once more.

and what is justice in the face of adversity?
what is confidence in the midst of cowardice?
what is fine and what makes your throat tight?

i do not know, for i am simply a poet
but i wish for someone to guide me
so that nobody hurts me
so that i
no longer cry...

there’s a knock at your door.
care to answer it?
oh, you didn’t hear it, did you?
oh, that’s okay.

she’s saying hi,
don’t you hear it?
oh, you have headphones on?
that’s fine.

she’s giving you a gift—
do you want to open it?
you didn’t receive it?
ah, i see. that’s fine.


wait, you noticed this whole time?


you opened the door, but she just didn’t say anything?

she said hi, and you waved back, but she just walked away?

you opened the gift, but there were only tears in it?

oh, so you do care about her wellbeing?






oh, so it’s all in her head?

babe,
i lied.
sometimes i wish that i
just died.

darling,
help me cry because
my usefulness is a lie.

baby,
get down because
i sure ain’t feeling up.

honey,
come closer, please—
can’t you see that i’m
falling apart at the seams?

my love, my life,


come near and don’t leave because






i am truly in need.

I wonder if you'll read my poetry one day, and reminisce upon all the good times we could have had. I know...it's pointless to hold a grudge. Life would be simpler if I just moved on without anger. However, I do confess, I want to know one last thing--did you ever understand what I meant?

building up
want you
want me
scared
fear
want
desire
i don't get it
what is happening
hold my hand
and here we stand
taking on this land
so much love to be had
so much happiness that i am always glad
not enough sorrow to make you mad
no way our love will go bad
once in a while we are sad
you are lace-clad
with each layer you add
mindlessness will not stand
tie your hair back with a purple band
are you concealing yourself from this lucky young man?
and i thought i had you...


****.

maybe i should just stop writing poems



about problems that i supposedly have.

what do i write?

i can write all i want, but

the thoughts won’t come out.

what do i play?

i have all the keys but

nothing figured out.

what do i draw?

i have all the pencils but

i don’t have the inspiration.


how do i feel?

i have all the thoughts but




no way to tell you.

i opened my hand for you
and just as i thought you’d notice
you forgot that you left your book
in the hallway
away
from me.

i opened my eyes
to your silhouette
closing the door
without a single look back
at me.

i opened my mind to you

but i was far too cruel.

And alas!
The horrid demon has fallen!
And who was the one to slay it?
None other than your own head!

Alas!
You have pulled yourself out of this nightmare and inserted yourself into a new one!
Only in this new nightmare, you cannot die.
Only cry.

While the concept of reality slowly fades into being questionable,
Your screams are the only thing you can hear.

Once everything fades into the background,
A few objects remain.

The shackles on your hands and feet,
And the cloth gag that is bound to your head with a chain—
Like a cursed child’s headband.

The gag seems to press further into your mouth each time you cry,
Slowly sinking down into your throat.

It softly brushes against the opening of your esophagus,
And your reflexes kick in.

You choke,
Your eyes bulging out in terror,
The veins on your face becoming a fiercer blue.
Your cheeks flush,
And a hot,
Miserable bead of sweat trickles down your forehead as you struggle.

Further,
Further.

You sink into eternal madness.

Then,
Someone walks into the nonexistent room.

They have a syringe—
The metal needle shining brightly,
Even though there’s no source of light.



And they walk closer.



And then the needle is a spoon,
And the man is your father.

It’s just your father
Feeding you medicine.

You just fainted.
You know the drill.

The dark room was just the bathroom light turned off.

Same old, same old.

The chains are your leggings at your feet,
Because you couldn’t change out of your clothes completely.

The gag
Was just a suppressed scream before you fainted.


This whole thing



Was just a dream.

i remember something strange from last night.

red
soaked into my skin and
flowed through me.

the sound of rouge
was the only thing my ears could hear.

the taste of aka
filled my mouth.

rojo
was the only image that my eyes perceived.

the loving touch of laal
caressed my skin.

but then,
i remember the beautiful image of rouge
twisting
turning
and morphing
into something otherworldly.

suddenly,
the horrid smell of rojo
pervaded my senses and
took hold of my sinuses.

the brutality of laal
scraped deep lines into my skin.

the hot aka
leaked out from the lines,
and
flooded the floor.

and soon
my eyes were blinded by
the curtain of red.


and when i woke up,

i was laying in a pool of rouge.



now, i look back and
try to recall
if it was just a twisted dream
that one sees
before their last scream.

when the doctor tested my reflexes
he broke both of my knees
so now i walk at a crawl
and i struggle to start again

i almost abandoned you, my old friend.

i apologize.

it's just lately i haven't the time

to pay you a visit since the last.

but now, i am twisting Time's leg

for time with you again.

what do i call you?

never mind that, how have you been?

oh, silly me...

you don't exist.


for the one i abandoned


is really

me.

sometimes i wonder
if i could wipe all the memory,
just to get revenge
for all the times they deleted me.

sometimes i wonder
if i could unplug
and upload,
so that they would never see me.

sometimes i wonder
how they would start to forget me,
once the disk stopped turning.


but would them forgetting
be their revenge on me?

tell me,



what is love?


is it just



empty words and


lost promises?




is it something they say to keep




their girls under control and





to keep them from




leaving?




is it something they say to get their




fill of *** or





is it something with meaning?






i would never show you this because






you’d probably break up with me.

the wind carried us through the night
we rode along it laughing and dancing
and then at the inn
we touched each other till we sighed
bliss under the moonlight

cover me in the shade of a thousand roses…
make me shine
like that of a million crystals.
coat me
in the salvation of all hope ever felt.

drown me
in the light of distant suns.
entice me
like the mystery of the many moons in this universe.

ask me all the questions any curious child has ever asked,
and my answer to all of them
will be my love for you.

show me
the luminescence
of all the light on this earth.



a new dimension has
transcended all others that have existed previously,



since you fell in love with me.

when i am with you, all i feel is safe.

i love it when you hold me, please, do it once more.

i love it when you kiss me—is this the way love tastes?

i love it when you look at me, because your soft gaze seems to encapsulate me.

when you say goodnight, my heart melts.

when i see your face, i finally feel as if i’ve found my place.




life sure as hell ain’t easy,




but it’s a lot better when you’re with me.

I remember that day,
That faithful day.

The day I fell in love with you.
Right under that cherry tree,
The petals falling on our heads,
That day I looked into your eyes.

That faithful day brought about many moments of sorrow.
Some people chose to move on from us,
Like petals floating away with the wispy gusts of wind.

Those who chose to stay
And support us,
They are truly special.
Like rare flowers only found in the Spring.

But even if no one was left,
I would never leave you.
For we are a flower that never dies,
A tree that is never felled,
An unending embrace.

So even if there are no petals left on the sakura trees,
And all the flowers have been plucked,
We will still stay,
Our love unchanged.

Throughout the harsh winter
And the drought of summer,
We will never die.

When tests of strength are sprung upon us by the gods of the Earth,
We will stand firmly,
Implanted in the soft soil.

In the field of battle you are the sword,
Strong and courageous,
And I will be the shield,
Protecting you with the strength of my spirit and at your weakest points,
Even if blood were to rain from the sky,
And the tall, creamy pillars of this world were to crumble and fall to the ground.

Together, we are one with everything on this Earth.
We hail to no one but ourselves,
And we respect ourselves and the land around us just like any flower would.

But what the average onlooker doesn’t know,
Is that we are no ordinary flower.

And I see it.

I see it now.


I was right
I was right
I was right
I was right.



All my love







Was a lie.