Its when you are dying,
you wish to live your fullest and live your best.
There is no dignity is death.
It's just darkness.

I can't change with your ever changing seasons,
it's everything i know of you
and it's perfect.
Even though it might not look as from outside
and I will never know what's going on inside you,
but I wish whatever it is,
you know that you are not alone
I'm still here.
and if you feel like no fate awaits you,
remember that I'm still here
and if you have to go away
to an island to feel safe all by yourself,
remember that I'm still here.
Just look to your left.
I am still here and I love you.

I love how you pronounce my name,
so out of accent or character.
You make it sound so special.
as though it may belong to Someone else completely,

But you spell it out of conjecture.

you are always there,
in the back of my mind.
creeping down my spine ,
with everything that reminds me of you.
I wonder if that's the same with you?

I love how quirky and weird you are.
I love your extravagant exaggerations,
I love how I can pick you out of a crowd.
Even when you are walking miles away
with your back to me.
wearing that stupid scarf I gave you.

just so it reminds me of you

The obsession is just half the queer.

I wish that someday,
People will raise their heads,
From their phone screens,
And look up at the fleeting blue sky.

And just marvel at it.
With their eyes.
Not through their instagrams,
Not through their camera lens,
Not through the reflection on their screen.

I wish people would just free themselves,
From social media.
The impulsive need to be on the now,
The relentless need to stalk someone or something.


I wish people would just live for a second,
Without being bowed to a device
That clearly controls
Every aspect of their freedom.

There was thunder and there were black skies.
I was on the roof of my apartment building.
there I was.

It wasn't all that tall. Three stories.
I wasn't sure if that was good enough.
Just before that.
My sister was in the hall.
She was reading I think.
I had just showered. Before the power went out.

The rooms were occasionally lighted by the thunder.
Just for a second. I was lying on my bed.
I didn't wear pants because I couldn't see where the closet was.
It was dark and the power was out.
It still didn't rain.

I heard something splatter.
I get up.
I sit there still of a second.
Minutes.
I lie back down.
I've a terrible headache.
I get up after a while and feel nauseate.

It wasn't something I ate. I look around.
My parents aren't around. It wouldn't matter.
They would be famous soon for all the wrong reasons.

 I think about how funny it'll be if I snort some ibuprofen.
I get up and drink some water.
I walk out to see the sky.

I keeping walking.
I think about how it'll be from the roof.
So I climb up the stairs and I keep going till I reach the top.
I look around and see that the power has come on.
I stand up on my tip toes to have a better view and then I look around.

It's still thundering.
I get up higher on the ledge now.
I think of myself.
My father thinks I am a liability.
I think I am a liability.

He said he doesn't have anything for me.
I have nothing for me either.
I think and I think and then look down.

I see myself lying there yet I'm here.
On the roof. I look down and I see myself lying there
but I'm here on the roof.
I look down and I see myself without life.
My head is open, bright red spilling out.
The rest is white noise. I look down and I'm no longer on the roof.

The rain finality falls.
It dilutes my blood to light pink.
Just the colour I liked when I was small.
The rain carries my blood away from my head.
My family doesn't even know

If not now then when.
The agitation is clear as day.
I clear my throat and say,

"Someday on that special bright blue moon,
Someday when I'm done fooling around,
And finally fall for someone to swoon for"

"Once upon a time in oblivion,
From the blood rimmed wine glasses,
to the sounds of clinking in the air.
To the fireworks in my heart."

I danced with the ecstasy flowing along*
those who came before.   
Singing the morning sunlight.
enticing the best foot forward.
I danced along the coast of joy.
never knowing I was looking beyond the mountain cliff.          
My blood went first for my heart crease to bleed.
My flesh went next for it lost it's purpose
My soul went last for I had nothing left to give them.
My life was a magician's mystery
I've given it the perfect exit.
I lived with those who came before me.
I leave all behind for those that will follow me.

What keeps you going is a mystery to me.
I'm baffled and yet I'm the most creative one.
What makes you roll around with so little faith?
How do you move around without hope?
For without hope and faith
Who do you depend on truly ?

I wish I could fly.
If I could I would.
I'd come get you !

I'd soar towards the heavens
and come get you.

Distance wouldn't be an issue but a nuisance.
It'll never Barr us away .
For I'll come get you.

Steal all of you in the dark of the night like thieves,
And we'll fly high above the mountains.
High above the clouds.
And the let the winds carry us home.

You'd never be alone.
I'd come get you.
Whenever you felt so.

If I were to be gifted,
With bounties of superman.
Super sight, super strength super everything!
Freedom and the rare ability to fly,
I'd accomplish oh so many things.
It probably won't be any worth to it
Because it was so easy.

I gained without the love of procuring.
I accomplished accomplishments,
Without the batting of my eyes.
Without the pout of my lips.
I achieved this world,

At my knees free of any hurdles.
Yet it isn't worth any of my super.
Maybe that's why we are all created equal.
And no one superior than the other.

So we treat one another with equality
And join to accomplish wonders,
With each others at our sides.

Free of cruelty and envy.
Free of regret and jealousy.
Free of guilt and hopelessness.

Maybe that's why we are humans,
And humans were created weak.